Clayton No Dave: “Wins” Rigged Kayak Race

Stuttering Tucker takes one for “the team”: “I’m not, I, you know, I, I think Clayton won.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris finally took the gold in the annual F&FW-Bass Pro Shops kayak race–albeit with an abetting hand. With perennial champion Dave Briggs sidelined at NBC Sports Network, Clayton seemed possibly positioned to, at least, have a chance at a viable victory in view of his F&FW fans. But, apparently, F&FW producers had little to no faith in his ability alone to vanquish his new opponent, co-anchor Tucker Carlson.

Introducing the 2013 keen competition between Clayton and his new competitor Tucker (kayak racing vid), co-host Alisyn Camerota remarked, “The Great American Kayak Race has become a tradition on Fox & Friends: This weekend we continue with that venerable tradition.” Looking out at her lads on the water, Aly declared, “Tucker, you don’t know what you’re in for: This is your first annual kayak race. Clayton, you’re old hat: But, you’ve never won. So, let’s see what happens today.”

Standing in support next to the ever also-ran Clayton, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth animatedly interjected, “Tucker, what you need to know is that Clayton, um, is incredibly athletic. And…you’re really in for a big challenge here.” As Tucker derisively laughed, “Yeah,” Rick continued, “He’s also not afraid of getting wet! We’ll just put those two things [out].”

Subsequently, when Aly counted down to takeoff, Clayton’s F&FW/Bass Pro kayak handler propelled him forward as Tucker’s counterpart held him back until Clayton had reached virtually the first leg end point. Chuckling at the injustice, Tucker robustly oared forward and appeared to actually win the race by a nose. With the fix in, though, apparently, Clayton raised his arms in “triumph” as the Bass Pro ref and the handler who had held Tucker back pointed to Clayton as the purported winner.

Trying to appear, at least, a little fairer, Aly exclaimed, “That was a tie. You think so?” The “unbiased” Bass Pro ref shook his head and alleged that Clayton had won albeit barely. Aly countered, “I think it was a tie. I really think it was a tie!” As a smiling Clayton claimed, “Finally!,” Aly countered, That was a photo finish: I need to see the instant replay!”

Nevertheless, the Bass Pro spokesperson took the gold medal to Clayton, saying, “I’m going to give, I’m going to give first over here. I think you deserve it.” Turning to Tucker with the silver, he continued, “Even though, even though, you got cheated just a little bit.”

As the segment concluded, Rick stood beside Clayton: Pointing to Tucker, he aptly asserted, “I think you might want to thank his, um, four-second late start.”

When the show concluded about fifteen minutes later with Clayton the only cast member strangely absent, producers aired the photo finish again. As it ran, Aly declared, “Thanks so much for joining us. You can see here the very suspenseful final seconds of our annual kayak race. I think it was a tie.”

To her newly initiated co-host, she “innocently” queried, “What do you think, Tucker?” As Aly grinned at F&FW‘s compliant tyro, Tucker dutifully stuttered, “I’m not, I, you know, I, I think Clayton won.” Patting her new student on the shoulder approvingly, Aly replied, “Wow! Very big of you. Very big of you!”

Poor Tucker: Sounded like Clayton’s Baghdad Bob today!

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9 Responses to “Clayton No Dave: “Wins” Rigged Kayak Race”

  1. Amber Harlow Says:

    I miss Dave.The chemistry is just not the same with Tucker, the guy seems like he`s got a pole permanently rammed up his backside.I think Fox made a big mistake in not hiring Rick Reichmuth to be the new co anchor, he clearly get`s on well with Ali and Clayton and the three of them could have made a great team.

  2. Matt Says:

    Just read Dave has been bumped from the show he was doing with Michelle Beadle on that NBC sports network.Only saw it a few times but I thought he was doing a pretty good job.Rumor is, he and Beadle didn`t hit it off,I would have gotten rid of her rather than him.

  3. Poppy Says:

    Can`t stand Michelle Beadle, sounds like Dave was sacrificed to save her.

  4. Anna Dellal Says:

    Agree about Tucker, I just don`t think he`s the right fit for F&F weekend,they need someone less uptight. I actually thought Casey Stegall might have been a good replacement for Dave and I agree with Amber, Rick would have been a good pick too.

  5. Anonymous Says:

    It takes time for chemistry to develop. Dave Briggs probably left the best “gig” he will ever have. He was great on the show, but it took him a little while with Clayton and Aly.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Wow, I bet Dave Briggs is wondering why he left the “best job in the world.” Those who leave Fox don’t usually end up better off.

  7. Anna Dellal Says:

    Hmm.It`s not like Tucker is new to the t.v game and he`s been on F&F for a few months now, long enough to see if the chemistry is there or not.I just don`t think he`s the right guy for the job and was genuinely surprised when they announced him as the new co-anchor.Morning shows, above all others, need to be fun and Tucker , who I`m sure is a nice enough guy, just isn`t able to let himself go enough.

  8. Max Says:

    I always thought it was a risky move for Dave, yes he had to work weekends and the thought of a weekday gig was probably appealing, but the chemistry between the co hosts on F&F weekend was a rare thing.He must have agonized about his decision to leave as he genuinely seemed to love his job and you can`t help wondering if he regrets it now.True that people who leave Fox rarely prosper although there are a few exceptions ,Major Garret for example.

  9. Arielle Says:

    If Fox have any sense they will do a straight swop between the Fox and friends weekday and weekend anchors.The weekend crew, minus Tucker, are far superior and should get the main gig.

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