Green Melissa Debuts Purple–Anew

Steve grimaces: Brian grins. Fox & Friends guest anchor Melissa Francis made her premiere on the program in purple apparel anew today–seemingly, the very dress that she debuted on FOX Business Network months ago. But, that fashion faux pas was not exactly what rendered her “boy toys,” F&F co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, almost mute today: rather, it was her green attempt at humor.

Approximately, mid-show, Melissa read a headline news story about an Aussie brewery XXXX that purchased a small island (“Pumpkin Island“) to turn into a promotional “ultimate destination for [four] mates” with beer and beaches but no babes. Subsequently, she jested, “Four men get to go on the trip in the fall: That raises so many questions! Opens it up to so many jokes.”

Realizing that his newbie co-host seemed to be tacking toward perilous waters, F&F co-host Steve Doocy grimaced and rubbed his brow fretfully. Looking into the camera quite cluelessly, Melissa continued, “I’m new: So, you know, I’m not gonna really dive on them.” Turning to a smiling Brian, Melissa implored, “But, you should feel free, though.”

Arching his eyebrows and cocking his head, Steve seemed to start to caution Brian. Perhaps, sensing Steve’s  apparent monitionial motions, Brian stammered, “Not, not, not when, uh, not when we find out that Donald Trump is on the line. Everything stops. My ad libs come to a crashing halt because Donald Trump is here.”

Blandishing Brian but belying his veracity, Trump declared, “I don’t think your ad libs will ever stop. There’s nothing you can do to kill them. And, we don’t want to stop ’em.”

No, Melissa, the F&F boys, Brian and Steve, were not going to go to that island–literally or figuratively. But, had it been the “mythical” Greek isle of Lesbos of which you spoke, they probably would not have been able to resist so easily. Had you, their siren, ditched the “green” and the redux purple, an Aerosmith pink may have well sufficed.

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One Response to “Green Melissa Debuts Purple–Anew”

  1. Mary Helen Rupp (@MaryInPA) Says:

    She was awful this morning.

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