Posts Tagged ‘Stanford’

Gretchen: Let’s Not Go There!

October 28, 2011

Brian: “Dumbing it down for us.” Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson still seems to be smarting from Jon Stewart’s left-handed compliment almost two years ago. After an FNC correspondent compared the EU’s resolution of the Greek debt crisis to putting a three-year-old to bed this morning, F&F co-anchor Brian Kilmeade jested, “Right. Obviously, there’s a big push from people on the couch and away from the couch to down it down for us.”*

Apparently, still remembering the slight from the Comedy Central comedian that the Standford grad who won Miss America in 1989 as a classical violinist was playing the part of Chrissy Snow on F&F, Gretchen guffawed. Looking down and adjusting her hem, Gretchen groused, “Let’s not go there!” Beaming, Brian answered, “Yeah!”

But, we must.

*Fox & Friends – 10/28/11 (@ 6:08 a.m. ET)

Gretchen Carlson’s “Release”

December 2, 2010

Don’t email me and tell me I’m ditsy! Okay?” And, “No,  [John Stewart], I’m not dumbing myself down!,” she seemed to assert again. Today Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson yet appeared intent on proving Comedy Central’s Daily Show host Jon Stewart wrong: I.e., no, the 1989 Miss America, who is a Stanford alum, is not “dumbing herself down” for her Fox News audience, e.g., by claiming not to know what “ignoramus,” “double dip recession,” or “czar” meant. Today, Gretchen added “release” to that list.

After a story on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s failed promise to provide a ladies’ restroom nearer the House of Representatives floor, Gretchen commented, “So the bathroom’s fifty yards away. And, coming into the next Congress there will be seventy-one female members who also have to be sprinters if they would like to go and release themselves while they get back for a vote.”* Laughing at Gretchen’s possibly Freudian malapropism, co-anchor Brian Kilmeade questioned, “Release themselves? Relieve!”

Concurring quickly with Brian’s correction, Gretchen remarked, “Relieved! Whatever that word is. Sorry.” As she began to segue into the next story about new putative Speaker John Boehner’s plan to fulfill Pelosi’s promise, Gretchen abruptly stopped. Admonishing her audience aforehand, she exclaimed, “Don’t e-mail me and tell me I’m ditsy, okay?”

*Fox & Friends – 12/02/10 (@ 7:09 a.m. ET)

Gretch: Sorry, I Actually Was Valedictorian!

July 1, 2010

Trust me. Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson is a blond former Miss America but she is not “dumbing [herself] down” as Jon Stewart suspects. In fact, as she seems to insist, the classical violinist and Stanford alum is smart–really.

After a F&F viewer mail segment today on a school that had thirty valedictorians, Gretchen proudly proclaimed, “Well, speaking personally, I, I was valedictorian, and I have to tell you that there were others at my school who also were. I graduated with over nine hundred kids: we all earned it. I forget if there were five or six of us but it is a huge honor.” Shaking her head earnestly, she concluded, “So, I think that they should not, you know, make it not as big of a deal because it’s something that you work really, really, really hard to attain.”

Seeming to sense that Gretch was waxing too melodramatic, co-host Brian Kilmeade waggishly remarked, “I would have been if there were 220 people less in my class.” Laughing uproariously, co-anchor Steve Doocy joked, “So you had 221 kids in your class? Smiling, Brian deadpanned, “Sometimes, luck doesn’t break your way.”

Still quite serious, Gretchen interjected, “Trust me. You have no idea how many times I have liked to pull that one out of my back pocket.” Amused, Brian asked, “Why?” Gretchen somberly responded, “Because having blond hair and being a woman, it’s easy to be under attack. And, it’s very nice to be able to say, ‘Sorry, I actually was valedictorian.”

No matter what they might say.

Gretchen: Stanford’s “Bimbo”?

September 18, 2009

Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson displayed an iota of ignorance on A.S.S., the After the Show Show, yesterday. And, no readers and viewers, she does not want to hear about it from you. (N.B. Grechen fans, the author has written “ignorance,” not stupidity.)

Today in the middle of A.S.S., co-host Brian Kilmeade had to leave for his radio show, Brian and the Judge: As he did, the camera panned to his shoes. Colleague Steve Doocy asked, “Brian, are those the shoes from a famous person?” Instead of answering, Brian replied, “What deceased person mailed me shoes before they [sic] died? Gretchen interjected, “That’s the question of the day: That’s the question of the year. Maybe, we could get someone to sponsor that one: It would have to be a foodie.”

Confused, Steve asked, “Foodie?” Surprised that he did not immediately concur, she queried, “Wouldn’t it?” Hoping to end the uncomfortable disconnect, Steve exclaimed, A footie!” Still bemused, Gretchen asked, “Well, are we thinking of the same person who gave those shoes to him?” Steve immediately responded, “Brian got those shoes from Tom DeLuise.” Gretch replied, “That’s what I, yeah, a foodie! He, he was a chef.”

Correcting her, Steve said, “An actor.” Gretch answered, “Yeah, in his later years, tho.” Steve replied, “He did have, like, some, he looked exactly like chef Paul Prudhomme.” With eyes wide open, Gretch queried, “Oh, he wasn’t the same guy?” Chuckling, Steve answered, “No that’s a different guy.” Doubling over in laughter, Gretch simply said, “Oh!” As the crew erupted in laughter, Steve sympathetically stated, “Look, we have a three-hour show.”

Gretch admitted, “I can’t keep it all straight. They do look a lot alike: I thought that Dom DeLuise was, in fact, Chef whatever his name is.” As an aside to the audience members and literally giving them the hand, she sternly warned, “And don’t send me the e-mails about ‘I thought you went to Stanford…you’re not smart, you’re just a bimbo. Don’t send them, okay? Thank you!”

To be fair to Gretchen, DeLuise strongly resembled the celeb Cajun chef. In fact, so much so, that Deluise once jested that he had impersonated Prudhomme at the chef’s New Orleans restaurant K-Paul’s Louisiana Kitchen. Furthermore, DeLuise authored several cookbooks in the latter part of his life.

Nevertheless, it’s never good to give the audience the hand. Or the proverbial finger for that matter.

Pretty Talking Head

October 29, 2008

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson seems to wants to convince the viewers that she is not just another pretty talking head. E.g., today the 1989 Miss America and former Stanford alum assured her F&F co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy that she “knew this issue [of domestic violence] well” before she interviewed National Domestic Violence Hotline CEO Sheryl Cates. In fact, she iterated the same thing to Cates in the segment intro.  Perhaps, a more palpable example though was her aside to Brian as to the intricacies of voting: Patronizing the F&F viewer, she opined that “no wonder why people can’t figure out the system because we can’t even figure it out.”

Gretch, you may want to reassess your apparent assumption that the civic ken of cable news viewers is similar to that of your former CBS morning audience . No need for a voice from Mount Olympus. You report: they decide.

“Desperado” Gretchen

August 21, 2008

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson gave her audience a Bushologism. During her interview with former Clinton Communications Director and Fox News contributor Howard Wolfson, Gretch asked, “A lot of people said that the only way that he [Barack Obama] would pick Hillary is if it were desperado: But, in the last twenty-four hours it looks a little bit more desperado, doesn’t it?” Obviously, Gretch should have said “desperate.”

Surely, the Stanford grad with honors knows that a desperado is one that is in dire straits (an obsolete definition) or a violent malefactor.


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