“Ms. Cuomo”: I Will Forever Be the Goldie Hawn

Sandra Lee: “You’re just naughty, naughty guy, aren’t you?” Fox & Friends Weekend fill-in co-host Mike Jerrick had Food Network host Sandra Lee, NY Governor Andrew Cuomo’s live-in love, blushing and aflutter this morning. In a segment promoting Lee’s latest (25th) cook book entitled “Every Dish Delivers,” the long-tressed blond beauty saucily declared that mole was a chocolate sauce with a kiss, a kick with a kiss: When F&FW guest co-anchor Anna Kooiman seemingly responded, “You weren’t supposed to go there,” Lee laughed, “I meant that in the sweetest way.”

Ever the bawd, Mike mischievously remarked, “Speaking of kisses, are, are you still with the governor?” Reddening yet smiling, Lee riposted, “You’re just [a] naughty, naughty guy, aren’t you? Yes, I will forever be the Goldie Hawn of the cooking world!”

Milking the moment of Lee’s chagrin, a grinning Mike jibed, “It’s been going on for quite a few years now, Sandra.” Blushing all the more, Lee retorted, “Eight! And, he loves my chicken.” As Anna sweetly stepped in between Mike and Lee, an appreciative Lee jested, “I can always depend on my girlfriends to help me out. We’ll box you [Mike] right over.” Subsequently, she stammered, “Okay, so these are wonderful, um, uh, enchilada burritos. Now, you have me all flustered!”

In response, Mike facetiously exclaimed, “I’m sorry!” As almost an aside to her audience, Lee declared, “Look at what he does.”

Look indeed: “Naughty, naughty guy” Mike Jerrick may have got the goods. Even though she insisted that she would “forever be the Goldie Hawn of the cooking world,” the “all flustered” Lee sounded as if her new novel “The Recipe Box” (“with striking similaries to New York’s first couple” according to the WSJ)  may reveal the true story. I.e., she is expecting a marriage proposal from her politician bedfellow of almost decade.

Aly: “Tucker Carlson Here with Us, of Course!”

Unless Bill Shine rolls the dice again. Perhaps, no more needed to be said by Fox & Friends Weekend “regular” co-host Alisyn Camerota. For Tucker Carlson, the Daily Caller co-founder, who made his debut on F&FW as a FNC contributor almost four years ago, it seems that the die is cast: I.e., Alisyn Camerota, queen of the F&FW curvy couch, signaled strongly today that Tucker is indeed erstwhile F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs‘ permanent replacement.

Almost a month ago, F&FW‘s “After the Show Show” producers appeared to hint that Tucker would replace the recently departed Dave Briggs as the new F&FW co-host when they presented a brief A.S.S. intro of him: During that program, Aly and guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick strongly suggested that Tucker would be the F&FW co-host in the new year 2013. Moreover, approximately, three weeks ago, Aly indicated that Tucker was being “hazed” as a “new co-host” when he haplessly was the “coughing victim” during an F&FW “Fighting the Flu” segment. Furthermore, about two weeks ago, Tucker seemed to be given equal status with Aly and co-anchor Clayton Morris as a F&FW chryon introduced the three as a apparent team at the start of each hour. Last weekend, when Tucker and Aly were off (and subbed for by Mike Jerrick and Anna Kooiman, respectively), it appeared that Tucker may have simply been co-host of the month (January 2013) to the author: However, Aly seemed to try to put that thought to rest today when she introduced her two co-hosts in the second hour, saying, “Mike Jerrick in for Clayton. Tucker Carlson here with us, of course!“*

Caveat: Tucker has not been added to the Fox & Friends Weekend website profiles alongside Aly and Clayton nor has he been included as an FNC “On-Air Personalities: All Anchors & Reporters.” Perhaps, Bill Shine, FNC’s Executive VP of Programming, may want to roll again if the reserved, awkward Tucker is not well received by F&FW fans. Or, perhaps, if Aly is allowed to leave the ship that she has saved for bluer waters, e.g., F&F weekday (if Gretchen Carlson gets her own FNC gig or her contract is not renewed) and Shine decides to start afresh–again.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/09/13 (@ 7:32 a.m. ET)

Awkward Carlson: Camerota’s “New Co-anchor”?

F&FW’s Aly cat: This is sort of a hazing process, Tucker.” Yesterday, Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson returned to co-host Fox & Friends Weekend for the third week in a row. According to one J$P source (Hannity’s Hair) two weeks ago, “@TuckerCarlson [is] not just guest hosting…[but]…will assume full time role on @ffweekend replacing Dave Briggs“: However, Johnny Dollar himself indicated that he had heard that Tucker was simply a “temporary sub.”

Even though the author initially agreed with J$P‘s primary source since Tucker seems somewhat ill at ease on the curvy couch (a la another Carlson on the regular week day version), recent comments from Tucker and his F&F Weekend co-hosts seem to indicate otherwise.

Approximately, one week ago, F&FW‘s “After the Show Show: Hectic schedules” (January 13) featured Tucker in a seemingly introductory mini profile. As A.S.S. started, co-anchor Alisyn Camerota asked, “What is it like to do four hours of morning television?”* In answer, Tucker jested, “I really enjoyed it: It only seems like three hours and forty-five minutes to me.” Appearing to let the cat out of the proverbial bag, guest co-host Mike Jerrick interjected, “Save this tape, ladies and gentlemen. A year from now we will see if he still talks like that.” When, Tucker subsequently remarked, “I’ve loved it. I can’t believe it’s over. I feel sort of sad,” Aly, perhaps, rather revealingly, replied, “Well, we can arrange how to make you feel better next weekend and the weekend after that, etc.”

Yesterday (six days later), in the penultimate segment of F&FW Saturday, Tucker appeared in the “Fighting the Flu” segment where he would be “coughed on” by a medical school dummy.* Donning a black salon apron, blue surgical mask, and clear goggles as he awaited an unwelcome expectoration, he sported the look of a hapless fraternity pledge about to be spoofed. Introducing FNC’s “Medical A Team” member Dr. Marc Siegel report on how easily flu could be spread to her F&FW audience, Aly heartily laughed,  “And, this is what we do to new, new co-anchors who, when they come on the show.” Perhaps, more tellingly, she added, This is just sort of a hazing process, Tucker!”

If so, welcome to the show, Tucker!

*After the Show Show - 01/13/13 (0.15/5.44)

Briggs Jabs at Jerrick: But, Hits Branson (Vets)

“Hot spot of the Midwest…Mike Jerrick’s favorite place.” Aly’s bosom? Of all days, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs chose Veterans Day to nettle benightedly his older guest co-host Mike Jerrick, and by extension, elder-friendly Branson, Missouri. Segueing to a segment with Lt. Colonel Oliver North about Branson’s Veterans Homecoming Week honoring World War II veterans on, Dave jested, “It’s the live entertainment hotspot of the Midwest…Branson, Missouri, Mike’s favorite place.”* Mitigating smartly Dave’s ill-timed barb, Mike interposed, “That’s right!”

Subsequently, Lt. Col. North interviewed several senior vets who had served from as far back as 1957. When he had concluded his segment and had tossed back to Dave, Mike, and co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, Dave deftly declared, “I’ve never been to Branson!” Immediately, Mike exclaimed, “I’ve been there! It’s great!” Chiming in, Aly declared, “You [Dave] would love it!”

Calling Aly out, inadvertently or not, Dave asked, “You’ve been, right?” In answer, Aly admitted, “No, I haven’t.”

Ebulliently, Briggs replied, “I would love it. I gotta go!”

When Aly interestingly indicated that she’d like to go DollyWood instead for her next vacation, Dave deftly declared, “We should do a show from Branson and a show from Dollywood.” In reply, Aly aptly exclaimed, “Bingo!”

As the denoement of Dave’s diminutive debacle concluded, Mike, ever the satyr of the dawn, subtly gestured toward Aly’s bosom, randily remarking, “You have so much in common with Dolly Parton!” Smiling, Aly racily replied, “I know that!” Rolling his eyes in mirth, Dave playfully snorted and wisely stayed silent this time.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/11/12 (@ 9:30 a.m. ET)

MJ: “Oh, We Love Nicole [Petallides]! Don’t We?”

Dave Briggs: “We do indeed!” FBN’s sultry siren Nicole Petallides heated up the Fox & Friends Weekend studio again this morning, much to the delight of co-anchors Mike Jerrick and Dave Briggs. As the long-legged, short-skirted Greek beauty sashayed toward the curvy couch in a tease for her post-break upcoming business segment), Mike sighed, “Oh, we love Nicole! Don’t we?”* As Nicole beamed broadly, Dave exclaimed, “We do indeed!”

And, do they ever. As F&FW fans may remember almost two years ago, Nicole saucily displayed her Red Eye “exhibitionist” side: With two memorable hikes of her skirt, she seduced her F&FW audience and mesmerized its co-hosts (especially, a very appreciative Mike). Earlier this year (January 28), Nicole was simply her usual sensual self on the curvy couch: Clad in a short black skirt and a low-cut blue top, she rendered an enraptured Dave virtually mute as he nervously coughed continuously throughout their interview.

Apparently, it just comes naturally for Nicole. On F&FW (March 24) as a guest co-host, she revealed her “little secret” to captivated co-anchor Clatyon Morris that she her (pre-cell) CB handle was “Wonder Woman” as she cruised the the Long Island Expressway in her Datsun 280ZX.** Furthermore, she has enchanted her FBN fans as a “Foxy’s Angel” on Happy Hour (alongside regular Rebecca Diamond nee Gomez and guest Sandra Smith). And, now, she serves as FBN’s resident “Stocks Fox.”

FBN’s Nicole: FNC’s future F&FW Fox?

*F&FW – 11/10/12 (@ 8:42 a.m. ET)

**F&FW – 03/24/12 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

Mike Jerrick: “Debby Does Tampa”

The boy can’t help it.  Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Mike Jerrick had to go there: Heboken Now’s randy rake who “will jump at every opportunity to make a double entendre” could not resist the one virtually served up to him today on a platter by his co-host Alisyn Camerota (and the WMO).

As the third hour of F&FW began, Aly announced, “We have an extreme weather alert for  you because a storm is brewing and it has its eyes on the Gulf Coast and parts of Florida. Debby is gearing up to become a tropical storm: We’ll tell you what’s in store straight ahead.”

Segueing to his intro of an upcoming segment (ironically subtitled “Bottom Up Economics”), Mike, “F&FW’s Golden Goat,” bawdily deadpanned, “Debby does Tampa.”

In other words, Mike does F&FW. But, not in the same way. Happily.

Aly: “Poor Karl Rove! Poor Karl Rove!”

Redux Dave: “Wow. ” Yesterday, FNC contributor Karl Rove‘s faux pas of calling F&FW co-anchor Alisyn Camerota “Gretchen [Carlson]” yesterday was characterized as “awkward” by Mediaite and “addled” by Carpe Diem. Seemingly, in response, F&FW producers and co-hosts Aly, Dave Briggs, and Mike Jerrick (fill-in for Clayton Morris) appeared eager to quickly put the incident to bed.

When the second hour of F&FW started with its trio seated on the curvy couch as usual, Aly welcomed guest co-host Mike Jerrick to the show. Subsequently, Dave turned to Aly, deadpanning, “Good to have you back, Gretchen.” Seemingly simulating amusement, Aly chuckled, “Poor Karl Rove! Poor Karl Rove!”

As Mike guffawed, a grinning Dave elaborated, “For those of you that weren’t here watching yesterday, Karl Rove, he called her [Aly] Gretchen.” Offering a rather lame excuse for Rove’s gaffe, Mike interjected, “Well, he can’t see us.” Sympathetically, Aly insisted, “I know! And, also, that’s just a…slip….He knows who I am!”

Then, defending her maladroit “wooer” further, Aly protested, “He does protect me from you [Dave] all of the time. That was his goal to protect me from Dave and Clayton which is a very altruistic, honorable goal, I believe.”

Interjecting, Mike jested, “Yeah. He’s scary! It’s fine, Juliet [Huddy]. It’ll be fine!”

Then, appearing to spoof his response yesterday to Rove’s gaffe, a slightly smiling Dave feigned outrage, arching his eyebrows, tilting his head, and monotoning, “Wow.”

Shaking her head, Aly pointed to Mike, giggling, “Well, nah. Makes sense!”

Nah. But, it was funny. Poor Karl Rove!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/08/12 (@ 6:59 a.m. ET)

Juliet: “It’s a Kitchen Cousins Sandwich!”

Huddy happy in the middle–again: “I’m a giver! I’m a giver!” Sexy Fox & Friends guest co-host Juliet Huddy just “can’t help it“: The carnal cougar seems to relish being in the center of a manwich. Less than four months ago, Juliet celebrated being in a “Philly sandwich” between fellow F&FW co-hosts Clayton Morris and Mike Jerrick: Yesterday, she relished being the treat in a “Kitchen Cousins sandwich” between beefcake kin Anthony Carrino and John Colaneri.

In a pre-break promo for the upcoming Kitchen Cousins segment almost mid-show, Juliet stood between the two cousins in the F&FW kitchen.* As the camera panned in on the three, Juliet coaxed the boys to get closer to her, saying, “Come get in here! So handsome, you guys.” As she fanned her flushing face with her hand, Juliet eyed each cousin suggestively, purring, “It’s a Kitchen Cousins sandwich!” As she laughed wickedly, a chagrined Colaneri blushed and goatish Carrino replied, “Oh, boy!”

Later, when F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy began the interview with the two cousins, an off-camera Juliet yelled, “Hoooo!”** As the boys smiled, Steve turned around toward his randy co-host, instructing, “Stop hooting over there, Juliet.” Subsequently, after querying them about their HGTV show and whether they were looking for more kitchens to redo, Steve jested, “And, Juliet said you’re also looking for girls.”

When the abashed Kitchen Cousin guys reddened, producers went to a split screen of them and Juliet. In response, Colaneri stammered, “I guess, I, are, you [Juliet], you just exploded something,” as Carrino chuckled, “Thank you, Juliet.” Pointing back to the boys, a smiling Juliet proclaimed, “I’m a giver! I’m a giver!”

Arching his eyebrows, Steve looked back at Juliet, exclaiming, “What!” Embarrassed, Juliet stuttered, “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, you know, I’m just, jus [sic] saying, you know.” As Carrino howled and clapped his hands with glee, Juliet insisted, “I’m just giving, giving the information.”

Jaunty Juliet: Just giving.

*Fox & Friends – 12/07/11 (@ 7:41 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at 7:52 a.m. ET.

Huckabee: “An Angry Phone Call from My Wife”

“Burkas would be a lot more popular if that were a burka.” In an appearance of Fox & Friends Weekend this morning, former Arkansas governor and erstwhile preacher Mike Huckabee, weighed in on politics, then he humorously dared to assay sexy fashion. Perhaps, to his detriment.

Huckabee, host of his eponymous FNC weekend show, may have heated things around his home hearth this morning with a rather racy remark on F&FW. After he was interviewed by co-hosts Alisyn Camerota, Dave Briggs, and Mike Jerrick about GOP candidates Herman Cain and Rick Perry, Dave teased an upcoming segment, asking, “And, why is Kim Kardashian wearing a burka?”* As a picture of a busty Kim practically spilling out of her strapless dress at the “Spin Crowd” premiere party appeared on screen, Aly exclaimed, “That’s not a burka!” Chuckling, Huckabee jested, “Burkas would be a lot more popular if that were a burka!”

As Aly laughed, Dave declared, “And, we will not have the governor weigh in on that.” Chortling, he rejoined, “I just did!” As the audio began to fade and the camera panned away, a grinning Huckabee remarked, “I’ll probably, I’ll get an angry phone call from my wife.”

Huckabee on Huckabee tonight?

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/15/11 (@ 8:39 a.m. ET)

Juliet’s Amber Ring

“Engagement ring?” Strangely, Fox & Friends Weekend guest anchor Juliet Huddy wore her large amber ring on her true ring finger again today.” When a curious viewer inquired whether it was an “engagement ring,” she Tweeted, “Just a ring I bought myself. Doesn’t fit on other fingers.” Perhaps–today.

However, Juliet’s observant fans have seen her amber ring migrate from  her true “ring finger” on her left hand to the corresponding one of her right hand and back again repeatedly. For example, when she was reunited with her former TV hubby Mike Jerrick on F&FW on August 13 of this year, she wore the very same ring on her RIGHT hand.*

Obviously, the thrice-married and thrice-divorced Juliet knows full well the message that a ring on her left ring finger signals. Ergo, she may have fudged the truth a bit today. Yes, physiological factors may determine whether her amber ring fits on her right hand or her left on any given day: However, she may simply be sending somewhat subtle signals to her male admirers from day to day. I.e., “stay away” or “I’m still in play.”

Apparently, today, it was stay away. Or, at least, proceed with caution.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/13/11 (@ 7:00 a.m. ET)

Juliet: “This is Weird!”

A.S.S.: Caught in Mike’s lap. Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-hosts Juliet Huddy and Mike Jerrick seemed like old flames Saturday. As the two former two-time TV spouses [F&FW and Morning Show with Mike and Juliet] got back together on F&FW, they seemed to reignite that old spark in a “Philly Sandwich” with co-anchor Clayton Morris: But, according to Juliet, it got “just weird” during the After the Show Show (A.S.S.).

As A.S.S. began, Mike, Juliet, Clayton, and meteorologist Rick Reichmuth walked over to the nearby “trading desk” to talk with FBN anchor Nicole Petallides and two other business guests about stocks. With only two seats available (one at each end of the desk), Clayton took one and Mike the other: Meanwhile, Juliet stood behind Nicole and Rick next to Mike. When Clayton began to interview Nicole and before the camera zoomed in on her, Juliet walked over toward Mike as he pulled back his chair. Putting her hand around Mike’s neck, a smiling Juliet then sat down seemingly in his lap (by then off-camera).*

As Nicole finished her answer and the camera panned out for a shot of the whole cast, there sat Juliet comfortably on Mike’s knee!** When Juliet realized that the viewers could see her in Mike’s lap, she smiled and blushed. Chuckling uncomfortably, she stood up and turned to Rick, whispering, “This is weird!”

As Rick sheepishly grinned, Mike looked down as if nothing unusual had happened. Weird? No, just classic Fox & Friends.

*After the Show Show – 08/13/11 (@0.54/5.53)

**Ibid at @1.17/5.53.

Juliet Huddy: Inside a “Philly Sandwich”

Clayton Morris: “Juliet, I’ll be over a little bit later to help you with your plumbing.” FNC anchor Juliet Huddy returned to the center seat on the curvy couch this weekend between regular F&FW co-host Clayton Morris and guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick. When Mike noted today that Juliet was with a “couple of Philly guys,” she laughed and naughtily stated, “A Philly sandwich!” And, quite a sandwich it was–at least, yesterday.

As the two-day reunion between Juliet and her former F&FW hubby Mike began Saturday innocently enough, Mike remarked, “All of the sudden we’re back in 2002 (when the two co-hosted F&FW with Julian Phillips).” Clayton chuckled, “Feel like I’m in a time warp, too. Yeah, hi, hey, a third wheel.” But, he did not remain one for the entire show.

About two hours later, after a “Marriage Matters” segment with comedian Steven Crowder, Mike pointed to Juliet, joking, “We’ve known each other so long people do think that we’ve dated….We are like a married couple though: we annoy each other and there’s no sex.”*

Perhaps, with Juliet and Mike’s purported platonic relationship in mind, Clayton decided to make his own Philly “pass” at Juliet about an hour later. After a Home Depot segment on replacing a faucet ended, Clayton tossed backed to Mike and Juliet, randily deadpanning, “Juliet, I’ll be over a little bit later to help you with your plumbing.”** As a blushing Juliet shook her head and smiled, Mike arched his eyebrow and exclaimed, “Well!”

Feigning innocence, Clayton insisted, “She said, she said she needed it!” Reddening even more, Juliet stammered, “I, I, I didn’t.” Grinning goatishly, Mike jested, “It could, it could use some help.” Suddenly, Mike’s words were muted–perhaps, by the producers–as his lips continued to move. Seemingly, still at a loss for words, an embarrassed single Juliet simply giggled in response.

Juliet’s F&FW “Philly Sandwich”: extra beef and a little cheese.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/13/11 (@ 7:55 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at 8:42 a.m. ET.

“King” Jerrick: “I Guess I Should Say”

“I’m Mike in for, uh, what’s the guy’s name? Uh, Clayton.” After a critical Carpe Diem report yesterday, the “King of Philadelphia” Mike Jerrick seemed eager to assure Fox & Friends Weekend fans that he intended no snub yesterday to his F&FW successor and fellow Philly Clayton Morris. As CD noted, the F&FW alum and great failed to acknowledge Clayton for the second time consecutively on the show (as his replacement host). To make matters worse for Clayton,  his regular F&FW co-host Dave Briggs did not mention him either.

Today, F&FW producers seemed eager to assure Clayton and his fans that they meant no slight. At mid show today, Mike appeared to make light of his conspicuous omission: as the third hour began, he joked, “Hi, everybody! By the way, I guess I should say [that] I’m Mike in for, uh, what’s the guy’s name? Uh, Clayton.” As Mike then chuckled, Dave tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile. Looking over at Mike, he answered, “His name is Clayton Morris on vacation this morning.”

Feigning ignorance, guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt “earnestly” asked, “Where is Clayton?” Slapping his knee for effect, Dave replied, “Clayton is out West in an undisclosed location.” Grinning at the intended intrigue, Mike interjected, “Is that right? In a bunker?” Dave replied, “I’ll just say out West with his wonderful wife and child. And, we miss them.”

Mike, bravo for your belated hat tip to Clayton.

[Author's aside: As to Clayton's whereabouts, no great mystery: He, his wife Natali nee Del Conte, and son Miles are camping in California on a family vacation.]

“King” Jerrick: Clayton Who?

Yet again? Yes, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Mike Jerrick returned to the curvy couch today once more without a single word of acknowledgement of the co-anchor that he had replaced, Clayton Morris. His odd omission was made especially conspicuous in light of the fact that his fellow F&FW “guest” co-host Molly Line began each hour proclaiming that she was “in for Alisyn Camerota.” Stranger yet, co-host Dave Briggs likewise failed to mention the vacationing Clayton when he introduced Mike at the start of the show: He simply said, “Good morning to all of you! Molly and Mike are in this morning….It’s been a while, Mike.”

An unceremonious snub to Clayton? Perchance. But, perhaps, the F&FW producers merely deemed it a mite mal a propos to point out that their F&FW golden oldie was subbing for his greener, younger Philly friend. Nevertheless, even F&FW guest Karl Rove seemed to conveniently overlook his chum Clayton’s absence. In fact, when he was introduced for his regular F&FW segment by Mike, Rove fulsomely flattered, “I can’t believe it: We have the king of Philadelphia here in New York today, Mike.”*

Taking his cue, Dave playfully bent over in obiesance twice to Mike as Molly dutifully followed suit, saying, “Now, we have to bow.” Smiling, Rove remarked, “Dave, Molly, I went to Philadelphia and he made me kneel and kiss the ring before he allowed me into the studio. It was really amazing.” As a deadpanning Dave declared “Right,” Molly pointed to Mike’s ring finger, jesting, “Oh! Wow! We had to do that, too, this morning.”

Perhaps, a fitting tribute to the former F&FW royal. But, a tip of the hat to the new kid on the curvy couch who would be king might have been in order, too. Unless, of course, the “King of Philadelphia” is plotting his return to his erstwhile F&FW throne.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 07/09/11 (8:16 a.m. ET)

Mike Jerrick: We’re Not Even the “B” Team

Molly Line: “I don’t know what we are: I don’t know what happened.” Nor did Fox & Friends Weekend fans as they were treated Saturday to yet another line-up of co-hosts: “the new girl” Molly Line, golden oldie Mike Jerrick, and steady standby Eric Bolling. Unfortunately, viewers were offered no on-air explanation for the absence of regular co-hosts Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Alisyn Camerota.

As FNC Executive VP of Programming Bill Shine continued to offer up his F&FW iterations du jour with little apparent rhyme or reason, F&FW fans had to look off-air for a clue.  While Aly remained mute on her Twitter page, Clayton and Dave offered their own explanations. Before the show (Friday), Clayton Tweeted, “Enjoying a family vacation….Be back next week.” After the show (Saturday), Dave, tardily wrote, “We’re both at separate wedding’s…sleeping in. RT @MyrtleBeachSC2: WHERE R U AND CLAYTONhttps://twitter.com/#??”

As I pen this article, yet another F&FW incarnation appears: Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt, and Mike Jerrick. As Ainsley and Mike laugh, Steve remarks, “Live from Studio E where there are three people who have never worked together at the same time. Welcome to Fox & Friends.”

Exactly. To paraphrase Forrest Gump, “Life is like waking up to Fox & Friends Weekend. You never know what you are going to get.”

Huddy: Holiday Honey

Juliet was back! Fox & Friends Weekend guest host Juliet Huddy reigned anew as she bid 2010 adieu and 2011 bonjour. Substituting for Gretchen Carlson and Alisyn Camerota, respectively, on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, the leggy lovely reminded her audience aptly of F&FW‘s auld lang syne.

F&FW‘s alluring alum brought back fond remembrances to many fans of the era when she once sat in the center seat between her partner-in-mischief Mike Jerrick and the third-wheel Julian Phillips. Sporting a shameless joie de vivre, she then happily traded in the coin of the F&F realm, the double entendre. Emblematic of her embrace of the tawdry trope was her reaction when F&FW would open with Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy saying, “Yes, the carpet does match the drapes!”: A sassy, saucy Juliet would blush but beam.

As the new year rolled in, the thrice-divorced Juliet showed that she is still no shrinking violet. Characteristic of her racy cant were her remarks yesterday during the “New Year, New You: Kick Off 2011 by Tossing Useless Things” segment. When her guest said that one might want to throw out a too-tight sweater, Juliet scoffed and and suggested that one might want to toss out an old husband instead.*

F&F‘s golden goddess? Janus Juliet.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/01/11 (@ 9:54 a.m. ET)

Jerrick: F&FW’s Golden Goat

FOX’s new Morning Show with Mike & Aly (& Clayton)”? No, but FNC’s Fox & Friends Weekend viewers got a glimpse of the goatish golden era of their show this weekend with the return of F&FW‘s former co-anchor Mike Jerrick. The wizened satyr was in rare form as he brashly brought his metro Sexyback swagger to the F&FW set. Unlike the old days when he and Juliet Huddy somewhat reluctantly swapped salacious double entendres in front of a more priggish Julian Phillips on F&FW, Mike freely bantered bawdy innuendos about with both of his appreciative co-anchors, Alisyn Camerota and Clayton Morris.

Mike’s infectious risque humor was evident throughout the weekend. For example, Saturday, Mike and Clayton coaxed Aly into standing up and demonstrating a recent University of Texas study showing that men look at women’s faces for real relationships and their bodies for casual hookups: Subsequently, as a blushing Aly saucily posed for inspection by her male viewers, Mike partially hid her body with his pad and asked if they would like to marry “this woman” and then covered her face and queried if they would like to have a very quick relationship with her. Other salient instances were Saturday when Mike racily asked Aly if she wanted to blow up his (regular) tie during an inflatable tie story and Sunday when Mike, Clayton, and Aly regaled themselves and their audience with some of the most sexually suggestive remarks (pertaining to hammers and a drill during the “All American Handyman” segment) since the old days of Mike, Juliet Huddy, and Julian Phillips.

The old goat was back. And, he was golden as he reminded the audience of the halcyon days of Fox & Friends Weekend when the unfettered co-hosts fully embraced a zany, irreverent, and saucy take on the news. With little doubt, Mike will soon be more regularly gadding and gamboling about the F&FW studio with reckless abandon to the delight of his many fans.

Rick Reichmuth: M.I.A.

Fox & Friends Weekend’s Fall? On the very first autumn weekend, Fox & Friends Weekend‘s meteorologist Rick Reichmuth was missing: Noone seemed to notice. On-set colleagues, co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Clayton Morris (and guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick) did not even mention Rick’s absence. More tellingly, F&FW producers offered no replacement for Rick nor did they feature any weather segment.

So, where is Rick Reichmuth? Not even officemate and BFF Dave Briggs seems to know. The F&FW co-anchor (apparently, not watching the program) ironically Tweeted, “Ahh to sleep in on a Saturday morning, miss you @ClaytonMorris, @rickreichmuth & @alyatfox.” So, do his F&FW viewers–the ones actually watching today.

Rick Reichmuth: M.I.A. Missing in Autumn. But, more importantly, Missing in Action. And, remarkably, without a clue, at least, to the Fox & Friends Weekend audience.

Update: Rick Reichmuth found. Tweeting in, Rick replied: “@Jakeho dude I’m sick as a dog. Horrible flu came on fast last night.”

FNC: Missing Mike?

From Gretchen’s “secret” to Janice’s plea, Philly Fox 29 host Mike Jerrick was back–or, perhaps, well on his way back. The former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host received an extra tight embrace from his former colleagues, especially, F&F femmes, anchor Gretchen Carlson and meteorologist Janice Dean today. The bad boy was back and the girls were loving every minute of it.

Welcoming Mike warmly as the show began, co-anchor Gretchen Carlson turned to him and cheerfully announced, “Mike Jerrick [is] back!” As Mike exclaimed, “Good to see you!” and eagerly kissed her cheek, Gretchen continued, “We haven’t seen each other for so long. Or, well, we see other but [have] not worked together.” When Mike then animatedly answered, “Yeah, yeah. It’s been three, four years, I think,” Gretchen turned to the audience and teased, “Coming up sometime during the show, I’m gonna share a secret about Mike Jerrick.” As Mike playfully tensed up and an off-camera floor crew member muttered, “Uh, oh!,” Gretchen added, “There’s many but I’m gonna share one secret.”

Apparently, Gretchen was right. When she segued to FNC meteorologist Janice Dean for her Hurricane Earl story, Janice laughed, “And, can I just say that most women around here have secrets about Mike Jerrick.” Chortling, Gretchen exclaimed, “No kidding!” When Janice concluded her report and tossed back to the co-hosts, Gretchen declared, “Mike’s speechless ’cause he’s wondering what your secret is.” Not quite so, Mike interposed, “I’m very scared about Janice’s secret.” Smiling and shaking her head, Janice sweetly responded, “We love Mike so much! It’s such a pleasure to see you.” Nodding her head, Gretchen concurred, “Very true.”

The lovefest continued unabated. Later, when Janice finished her final weather segment of the program and tossed to the co-hosts, Gretchen stated, “Earlier, I said there’s a secret about Mike Jerrick….I just want to say real quickly that when I started at Fox, you were the nicest person in the world to me. And that’s my secret.”* Seemingly incredulous at her innocuous revelation, Mike queried, “That was the secret?” Gretchen replied, “That’s my secret. And, I, I miss you not being here anymore but I still love you.” Interjecting, Janice pleaded, “We love you. Come back!” Chuckling appreciatively, Mike succinctly answered, “Okay.”

Perhaps, Mike shall–if Juliet Huddy, his television wife (FNC’s F&FW & FOX’s The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet), gets her wish, too. When the author Tweeted, “Would be fun to see Mike [Jerrick] back on w/ you sometime, too, Juliet replied, “Would love to be back on with Mike! Miss him terribly.”

Apparently, Juliet is not alone. And, perhaps, FNC had put out the word to F&F today. Welcome back, black sheep?

[Author's aside: Today, even one of Mike's most macho whilom colleagues was showing him the love this morning. During a segment promoting a retrospective on his journalistic work, Geraldo Rivera playfully slapped Mike on the the thigh repeatedly and remarked, "Nice to see you from Philly!" When Mike fondly recalled their spending time together on Fridays, Geraldo replied, "I miss that." When he added that he had "stopped drinking, though," Mike jested, "You did? Oh, we can't hang out." At least, not during off hours.]

*Fox & Friends – 09/03/10 (@8:42 a.m. ET)

“Pop Tart” Ainsley

Mike Jerrick: “Very tarty.” A fun and flirty Ainsley Earhardt returned to Fox & Friends Weekend Sunday. Joining fellow F&FW alum Mike Jerrick and current co-host Dave Briggs, the now single beautiful blond kept her mittens off a married Dave but she trifled with her similarly single Mike. In fact, Ainsley got especially playful during a story on the new Times Square Pop Tarts store and its paraphernalia.

In the Pop Tarts segment, Dave showed off various examples of the store’s wares to the audience, handing out Pop Tarts sushi to Mike to taste and Pop Tarts lip balm to Ainsley to sample.* When Mike tried the tart and reacted in disgust, Ainsley coquettishly commented, “I’ll take it, honey” as she offered Mike her hand for him to spit out the offensive ort. Then, after she had applied the lip balm to her lips, Ainsley commented, “This is good!”: turning toward Mike and puckering up, she teased, “Do you want to taste it?”

Apparently game, Mike leaned in as if to buss Ainsley on the lips but gave her a peck on the cheek instead at the last minute. Witnessing this amorous exchange between his co-anchors, Dave, his eyes widening, exclaimed, “Wow!” Meanwhile, an animated Mike exclaimed, “I love this show!” Glancing at him, Ainsley put down her lip balm in feigned disappointment and cooed, “Aw, I thought I was, I thought I was going to get a kiss this morning.”

As the segment concluded and Ainsley was about to begin reading the headlines, Mike deadpanned, “Very tarty.”

Indeed, Mike.

Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/29/10 (@7:31 a.m. ET)