Tearful Briggs Leaves F&FW

Dave: “I’m not going away! Just going somewhere else in the New Year.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris dropped a bombshell this morning by announcing that co-host Dave Briggs is leaving their popular FNC morning weekend show. After the final half hour began with the “Shot of the Morning,” Clayton turned to Dave and their fellow co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, remarking, “I want to take a moment here because this is going to be the last time that the three of us…are going to be on the couch together. Looking down, Dave replied, “Wow! I didn’t expect you to say that: But, yeah, I am. I will be moving on.”

Tearing up, Dave continued, “I will miss the two of you more than I can speak. You’ve made me better and you’ve made the show better. You’ve been my work family!”

Growing emotional, too, Clayton interjected, stammering, “Likewise, man! It’s like a, like losing, you know, having a brother leave, you know, with a family and move on.”

Chiming in, Aly exclaimed, “We will miss you so much, Dave!”

Sentimentally, Dave stated, “I will miss you both! It’s been the best show, best job of my life. I will never have a job I enjoy more, no matter where I go.” Looking into the camera at his fans, he assuring stated, “But, you will see me. I’m not going away! Just going somewhere else in the New Year but it’s been a wonderful experience here.”

As to Dave’s departure date, Aly explained, “Dave will be through here through the end of the year: But, I won’t be working during these shows.”

Sounding as if he may be leaving Fox News to boot, Dave declared, “But, I should say thanks to…Roger Ailes, and to Bill Shine, and Suzanne Scott, and some of the people who brought me here as well. And, all the producers who have helped me out for a couple of years. But, I just, I love you guys!” Then, as FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth appeared in a split screen shot, Dave added, “And, Rick, Rick has been my confidante and my office mate. And, you guys are, you’re my family: I’ve never had a work family….Damn, I’m gonna miss it!”

Nodding his head for emphasis, Rick replied, “We’re gonna miss you, Dave! But, you know, the good part is you’re not moving anywhere….This is Aly’s and this is my last day with you, Dave. So, it been wonderful to have you here: And, we will miss you a ton.”

So, where will Dave be? Before his big announcement, a Twitter follower asked, “What’s with the beard cutie?”: In answer to his avatar change, Dave cryptically Tweeted, “Explanation coming soon…”

Perhaps, much more telling, in the final segment of F&FW today, Aly gave Dave multiple pairs of hosiery as a parting present, saying, “So, Dave, I don’t know if your new co-anchor is gonna want to match her outfit to your socks: But, if so, I have gotten you some possibly anchor-friendly new socks to match with her outfits.” Seemingly, confirming that he will be co-hosting a new show with a new female co-host, he answered,”I think she’s gonna love them!”

Pleading with his fans for their continued loyalty in his future endeavor, Dave subsequently Tweeted, “I will miss our viewers almost as much as Clayton, Aly & Rick. I really appreciate every one of you and hope you stick w/me in 2013…”

Good luck, Dave!

[Author's aside: Notably, on this august occasion, Dave dutifully donned his connubial band today after approximately three weeks on F&FW sans it. Bravo, Brandi!]

Update: In the After the Show Show (via J$P), Aly more definitively verified Dave new gig, saying, “You new co-anchor is such a lucky woman!”

Update2: According to J$P, the “likely destination for @davebriggstv – NBC Sports Network.” Subsequently, he RT’d @SPORTSbyBROOKS: SbB has learned NBC Sports Network is planning a daily show hosted by @MichelleDBeadle & @davebriggstv.” As further evidence, he teased, “RT @MichelleDBeadle (yesterday): Cranked out promos for my new sports show and my last Access Hollywood of the year….”

Kiran Chetry: Way Too Early?

“With (M)NBC’s Willie Geist, a good buddy of mine.” Former CNN and FNC anchor Kiran Chetry announced today that she will give the keynote address on Pace University’s Financial Education Day (Pleasantville, NY) on November 17, 2012. On her Facebook page that asks her friends to “stay tuned for Kiran Chetry’s next move,” she also reveals that she will share the duty with NBC’s Willie Geist. And, perchance, in a Freudian slip, she nonchalantly calls Geist ” a good buddy of mine” in the video to which she links.

Kiran’s “very special opportunity” at hand? As long-time Kiran acolytes know, their Nepalese goddess had a stellar, approximately seven-year run on Fox News (2001-2007) as a reporter and an a.m. anchor on both Fox & Friends Weekend and F&F First. When her contract renewal talks with FNC in 2007 soured, she was summarily selected to be the femme face of  CNN’s American Morning. After more than four years of awakening her AM fans with her inimitable “ray of light,” she bid them an emotional “namaskaar” on July 29, 2011, with the promise to see them again soon. In 2012, Kiran finally reappeared on TV–but as a special E! correspondent in January and February: subsequently, she did return to news, albeit Internet news, as a guest-anchor on GVTV (April 20).

Perhaps, as the year draws to a close, Kiran is once again ready to arouse her fans in the early morn on yet another cable news network, MSNBC. N.B. Kiran’s “very good buddy” Pace keynote speaker Willie Geist will soon leave his MSNBC’s Way Too Early with Willie Geist post for greener pastures as co-host of the Today Show (third hour).

Kiran’s “very special opportunity”: Way Too Early with Kiran Chetry?

H/t, J$P.

Clayton Morris: “NY’s Funniest Reporter”?

F&FW’s “Rodney Dangerfield”: Really can’t believe I won.  Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor  Clayton Morris was crowned “New York’s Funniest Reporter”at the Comedy Strip Live Comedy Club on last Thursday night (September 27). bested his FOX fellows, Dr. Manny Alvarez (FNC) and Greg Kelly (Fox 5) and the foxy femmes, Lauren Lyster (RRTV), Michele Steele (ESPN); and Marianne Garvey (In Touch Weekly). After winning the laurel and proudly hoisting his trophy, Clayton Tweeted, “Really can’t believe I won.” Critiquing his routine, he joked, “I was like Rodney Dangerfield up there.*

Apparently, Clayton’s needed “pre-show cocktail” at Toloache 82 was just what the doctor ordered. Congratulations, Clayton!

H/t, J$P.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 09/29/12 (@7:01 a.m. ET)

Update: In the After the Show Show Saturday, Clayton discussed his comedic approach with Dave and Aly. According to a review by the New York Comedy World, Clayton “did his homework and really came off as a stand-up.”

Gretchen Gets Punked: “Fun with Perverts”

Brian: “I think he was vacuous and drunk.” Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson got “punked” this morning by University of Texas at Austin student Max Rice, seemingly. In a segment ironically entitled “Boomerang Generation Votes,” Gretchen touted him as an unemployed college graduate who had moved in with his parents and portrayed him as an Obama voter who may have changed his mind on the President. Instead of hitting President Obama with this Boomerang voter, Gretchen herself got suckered instead by an apparent young wannabe comedian who styles himself as a gonzo journalist.

After Gretchen wished him a good morning, Rice animatedly answered, “Well, hello, Miss, Miss U.S.A.: It’s an honor!” Rolling her eyes at his misnomer, a slightly agitated Gretchen stammered, “Uh, Miss America [1989] but, but, but close enough.” Grinning, a goofy Rice replied, “Miss America! Miss Universe, in my book, in my book.” Smiling, Gretchen responded, “Oh, okay. Well, well thank you very much.”

Turning serious, Gretchen stated, “Now, tell me your story. You believed in the  “hope and change” of President Obama…so you voted for him….[T]ell me about the next three-and-a-half years.”

Grabbing his Starbucks coffee cup for an insouciant on-camera swig, Rice implausibly declared, “Oh, I was a huge Obama supporter in 2008. I met him in third grade. I met him when I was little.”

Arching her eyebrows, Gretchen asked, “Okay. And, why now are you supporting Mitt Romney?”

Shaking his head, Rice remarked, “Uh, why am I supporting Mitt Romney? It’s actually a funny story: I lost a basketball game to a friend of mine, Alex Dern, who’s a huge supporter of this show.”

Pursing her lips with apparent annoyance, Gretchen replied, “Okay, so it sounds like your not being very serious about this.”

Seeming to realize that his apparent gig was almost up, Rice quickly responded, “I’m also disappointed in the direction that Obama is taking this nation: But, yeah, I will be casting my ballot for Mitt Romney!”

Quizzically, Gretch queried, “And, is it true that you had to go back and live with your parents after you graduated from college?”

Cagily, Rice replied, “Oh, yeah. After I went to college for a bit, I had to absolutely go back and live with my parents this summer. I’m back on my own, independent. I’m on national TV….It’s an honor.”

Her skepticism renewed, Gretchen asked, “Okay. Well, are you being serious about this interview or not?” With a mischievous grin, he answered, “Yeah! I can’t see your face right now: this is so weird.” Smiling, Gretchen sweetly answered, “Alright, actually we’re going to wrap this up right now because I’m not so sure that you’re actually being totally serious about the interview.”

Reluctant to give up his proverbial “fifteen minutes of fame,” Rice demanded, “Oh, we are? I am. Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait.” Chuckling, she responded, “I’m not so sure that you’re ready for prime time yet, with this interview.”

As a still hopeful Rice’s shot ended and before she teased the second hour, Gretchen charitably remarked, “Alright, we’re gonna give Max another chance, maybe, when he’s ready to do the interview.”

When Gretchen and her co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy returned from commercial break, Gretchen laughed, “Usually, Brian gets assigned those interviews….I remember the interviews that you’ve done with kids who didn’t have much to say: In this case, I got a big kid that didn’t have much to say in that last [block].” Sweetly, she added, “I feel sorry for this guy; I don’t know him; [and] maybe, he didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Acerbically, Brian remarked, “I think [that] he was vacuous and drunk, personally. He probably doesn’t have a lot to say on his best day! And, this was probably his worst day.”

Author’s aside: It F&F had vetted Max Rice a mite more, Brian, he does have a lot to say. And, to put it politely, some of it is not very nice. The 2010 Senior Class President at New Trier High School‘s graduation speech (1,2) and stand-up comedy routines (1,2) would have provided a clue. Not to mention, a simple perusal of younghotmeat‘s cruel YouTube video series “Fun with Perverts”  should have put an immediate kibosh on any thought of such an interview with Rice.

*Fox & Friends – 09/17/12 (@ 6:54 a.m. ET)

Update: Vid via TVNewser (within article by Alex Weprin).

[Author's aside: Weprin gives Mediaite a "hat tip" in his main article for noting that Rice was "snarky." But, he fails to give another to Carpe Diem in his later update for noting that Rice is a "wannabe" stand-up comedian [supra]. He nonchalantly claims, “After about three minutes of Googling, it looks at though Rice is a (wannabe?) stand up comedian.” Guess Weprin should Google before his writes a piece or just check “Carpe Diem” for the rest of the story.]

Update 2: According to the Washington Examiner, FNC Executive VP of Programming Bill Shine addressed Gretch’s punking, saying, “We are still examining the situation but it will be addressed with the appropriate parties involved.” In genteel terms, someone is going to the woodshed at best for that inexplicable blunder.

Update 3 (correction and addendum): As the author indicated, supra, Rice is no college graduate: However, he is no longer enrolled at the University of Texas at Austin. Rather, he is now a matriculate at Columbia College in Chicago according to the Washington Post. Of his dubious brush with fame, Rice remarked, “Anyone can say what they want as long as they realize that [Fox & Friends is] a sham and it’s wrong….I’ve always hated Fox & Friends.” H/t J$P (and Chicago Sun-Times).

Brian: Kooiman, I’m Better at Screwing Than You!

Blushing Anna Kooiman: “Get out! Get out!” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade may have taken his James Bond fantasy a bit too far on air. Yesterday, he proudly proclaimed himself a virtual 007 with “the fancy car” and “the beautiful women, ” not to mention a newly acquired  jet-pack expertise [on his Tampa vid (via J$P) during RNC last week]. Hoping to prove his Irish/Italian machismo anew during the DNC this week, Brian challenged his beautiful blond FNC colleague, Anna Kooiman, to a drag race on the Charlotte Motor Speedway in her hometown: But, that sweet Southern belle was not about to let him have a victory on her turf. Nevertheless, in true Fleming fashion, the boy got the girl in the end–in a fashion, to her chagrin.

In Anna’s first-hour visit on the curvy couch with the F&F co-hosts, Brian teased her report on NASCAR, saying, “They [NASCAR] even gave us the keys to their cars at the Charlotte Motor Speedway.” Subsequently, Anna aired footage of her interviewing CMS CEO and President Marcus Smith; of her taking a scary ride with a driver on the track; and of her beginning to race a cocksure Brian (adorned in full NASCAR regalia).

When Anna’s video ended with Anna and Brian’s speeding off into the distance, co-anchor Steve Doocy asked, “And, who’s the winner?” Raising her arms in triumph, a chuckling Anna chimed, “Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! Reddening, Brian admitted, “Alright, she definitely beat me!…She averaged 89 miles an [sic] hour: I averaged 75 miles an [sic] hour.” Elaborating, Anna said that she thought Brian was playing a joke on her and that she offered him a rematch but a sudden pouring rain precluded one.

But, Brian did get, at least, a measure of revenge. In the final hour of F&F, he took Anna on in the NASCAR Hall of Fame Pit Crew Challenge (“tire change” which included unscrewing and screwing bolts).* After easily finishing first, Brian walked over to Anna and knelt down beside her as she tried vainly to complete the contest. Taunting her, Brian bawdily teased, “Kooiman, give it up! Face it: I am better at screwing than you!” Reddening in chagrin, Anna smilingly exclaimed, “Noooo! No!”

Subsequently, admitting defeat for the moment, Anna challenged Brian to a future rematch in New York City. After he agreed to a tie-breaker, he tossed back to his amused co-hosts, Steve and Gretchen Carlson. Almost flustered, Gretchen chortled, “Brian, the only thing I remember from that whole thing right there was just what you said just two seconds ago.” Feigning ignorance, a beaming Brian deadpanned, “That we’re one-and-one lifetime against each other.”

Blushing all the more, Anna interjected, “Right!” Shaking her head in disagreement, Gretchen laughed, “No!” Putting her hand frantically to her throat (as if cutting it repeatedly) in a hopeful plea to F&F‘s producer, a fully flushed Anna implored, “Get out! Get out!” When the cam mercifully began to pan out, Anna, embarrassed, pulled her head back in almost utter disbelief.

Welcome to Brian’s wacky world, Anna!

*Fox & Friends – 09/05/12 (@ 8:47 a.m. ET)

Update: Kilmeade/Kooiman Pit Crew Challenge video via J$P. H/t, Johnny Dollar!

FNC’s “Mean Girl”: Kirsten Goes Loco on Lolo

Today’s “Beast”? Anthony Weiner’s former girlfriend and erstwhile defender Kirsten Powers. Fox News’ self-professed Christian progressive must have forgotten all about I Corinthians 13 (“The Love Chapter”) today. In her Happening Now appearance this afternoon, the usually compassionate Daily Beast columnist defended New York Times sports columnist Jere Longman’s misogynistic attack against Olympian Lolo Jones, a born-again Christian who posed a la a shy pre-Fall Eve in ESPN Body Issue 2009, for her sensual allure to an appreciative media at the perceived slight to her competitors. [N.B. No mention from Longman that Lolo is the first woman who has won back-to-back World Indoor titles in the 60-meter hurdles and that she was a three-time national champion hurdler and an eleven-time All-American at LSU.]

In Kirsten’s HN segment, her fellow Fox News colleague, former NYT investigative reporter Judith Miller opined, “I think it was very unfair….It was so harsh on her. It was so unforgiving.”* Substantiating her point, Miller cited the criticism of the NYT‘s very own ombudsman Arthur S. Brisbane, who said, “I think the writer [Jere Longman] was particularly harsh, even unnecessarily so….[T]his piece struck me as quite harsh and left me, along with others, wondering why the tone was so strong.”

Shaking her head, Kirsten emphatically countered, “I don’t agree! I do not agree.” Clad in her low-cut, sleeveless, short black dress, FNC’s blond beauty, perhaps, ironically groused, “He [Longman] never called her the Anna Kornikova: he interviewed somebody who said that….The point that he was actually trying to make is that here are actually two other American athletes whose names we don’t even know really…[who] have gotten no endorsement deals, have gotten no media coverage even though they have medals when this person who didn’t even get a medal is getting all of this media attention….How did she become the victim?”

Then, Kirsten added, “In terms of him talking the stuff about her, she’s the one who put it out there….She’s a woman. She’s, at least thirty….She cannot complain about media coverage that’s critical of her.” Coming to Lolo’s defense, Miller exclaimed, “Oh, yes, she can. Yes, she can when she’s really being attacked.” Shrugging her shoulders, Kirsten replied, “I don’t think it was an attack.”

Miller answered, “It was an attack! The only two people quoted in the entire piece are negative quotes.” Smirking, Kirsten caustically queried, “You’re not allowed to write a negative article about an athlete?” Miller riposted, “Wait a minute! He left out the fact that she had spinal surgery the year before. Her own extremely back story left out.” After clenching her teeth as Judith spoke, an irate Kirsten argued, “But, hasn’t that been covered extensively.”

Miller responded, “But, not in his column! If somebody’s reading that column, you have no idea where [she's coming from]…Why beat up on this woman?” Unconvincingly, Kirsten replied, “He’s not beating up on her!” Immediately, Miler countered, “He was!” Appearing to contradict herself, Kirsten answered, “And, why he is not allowed to do that? I don’t understand.”

Interjecting, HN co-host Jon Scott remarked that while Lolo’s competitors may have won medals she was apparently the only woman to have won the national indoors hurdling championship twice. Cutting to the quick, he said, “Let’s show the photo that…aroused so much, I guess, ire, so much negative attention to her.” As the photo of a seated nude Lolo looked backed at the camera with all of her “lady bits” discreetly covered, Jon continued, “What doesn’t get noted is the small type there…a quote from her coach at LSU Dennis Shaver who writes, “She has the perfect core, which is where her horsepower comes from. Her abs are like a washboard, all muscle fiber and no fat. You don’t get like without proper diet and training: And, even then, you’d need Lolo’s determination.’ That gets lost in the coverage of that photo.”

“Exactly: it certainly did,” concurred Miller. As Kirsten laughed in derision, Miller chastened, “And, the back story gets lost. And, Kirsten, I’m really surprised.” Interposing, a bemused Kirsten queried, “What back story? I don’t even understand.”

Miller explained, “Wait a minute! You can make the point that the media likes some people and the companies choose to use some people without beating up on her, without demeaning her or her achievement. And, the fact that she’s a self-proclaimed Christian virgin and comes from this poor family. I think it’s an amazing story.”

Gesticulating animatedly, Kirsten interrupted, “As one of the other girls comes from a very poor story [sic]. And, it’s an amazing story that been covered ad nauseum.“

As Kirsten ranted, a smiling Miller interposed, “She’s beautiful. Why should we hold that against her?”

In a seemingly disingenuous response, Kirsten said that “we shouldn’t” but then echoed Longman’s plaint that Lolo was getting a disproportionate amount of attention. Then, baring her claws, Kirsten caustically exclaimed, “And, I’m sorry, but, you know, the whole born-again Christian thing and posing naked, I don’t think they really go together. Call me crazy!…I talk about my faith all the time, and if I posed like that I would expect to hear about it!”

Conversely, if Kirsten posits like that, she should certainly expect to hear about it.

Happening Now – 08/10/12 (@ 12:45 p.m. ET)

Update: Video via J$P.

“Free P*ssy” Penalty: Bob Beckel Apologizes

“I’m very sorry….I’m gonna be quiet now.” Today, The Five co-host Bob Beckel apologized for his “foul” mouth and announced that he would be having the day off tomorrow because of it. As Carpe Diem reported Monday, an apoplectic Bob incoherently stammered “free, pre p*ssy” when he was defending President Obama’s purported disdain for his GOP opponent Mitt Romney. (A day later, after reviewing Johnny Dollar’s video of the incident, HuffPo aptly opined that Bob was “referring to…Reince Preibus,” the GOP National Chairman.)

This afternoon, during the final Five segment, a chastened Bob declared, “My ‘one more thing’ is to say, ‘I’m off tomorrow and that’s going to make me happy and…a lot of conservatives out there happy. I need a break because lately on this show…my mouth has been moving a little bit too much and sometimes dumb things–which is surprising for a MENSA guy–comes [sic] out of it.”

As his co-host Eric Bolling laughed off camera, Bob continued, “Last night when I was checking Twitter, I saw that some people out there were offended by something I said.”

Then, raising his palms in a mea culpa, Bob declared, “Now, I’m not going to say it again but I want to say to those who were offended, ‘I’m very sorry.’ That’s the last you’re going to hear that. I’m going to be quiet now.” Announcing anew Fox News’ apparent one-day sanction, Bob added, “I’ll see you on Friday.”

Apoplectic Bob Beckel: “Free…P*ssy”

Eric Bolling: “Let’s move on.” Let’s not: If it were free, The Five co-host Bob Beckel might make for a much less colorful “Smoking Gun” Democratic rogue. But, fear not! The bad boy of FNC can not or will not keeps his wild ways under control.

Less than four months ago, Bob went off with an “f” bomb inadvertently on Hannity. In what he deemed an off-air moment, he lambasted a conservative panelist, saying, “You don’t know what the f**k you’re talking about.” When host Sean Hannity apprised him that they were live, Bob appeared to be in a state of disbelief. Finally, coming to his senses, Bob groused that he was going to be fired after the show.

Bob was not. But, today, he pushed the envelope even further. In a segment including President Barack Obama’s purported disdain for his GOP opponent Mitt Romney (“no g**damned war hero”) as noted by Politico‘s Mike Allen, co-host Eric caustically queried, “Bob, should President Obama be taking shots at Mitt Romney’s military service when…the guy never picked up a gun, pulled the trigger of…blew anyone away? Oh, wait a minute, that’s right, he shot bin Laden, right!”*

After initially calling into question Allen’s assertion, Bob remarked, “Does he [President Obama] not like Mitt Romney?…When he started out, he said [that] he was neutral about Mitt Romney. And, frankly, so was I. I thought he was a nice guy.”

Elaborating, Bob remarked, “I’ve come to believe [that] he is a terrible, uh, a terrible–I won’t say liar because I won’t, because I don’t want to diminish myself down where Republicans [are].

Unfortunately, continuing, a suddenly incoherent Bob stammered, “Or, free, pre p*ssy, for proof of pre pro puss. Excuse me! Pre puss.”

Throwing him a lifeline, Eric mercifully interjected, “Let’s move on.” Bemused, co-anchor Andrea Tantaros beamed broadly and shook her head at Bob latest blooper. Meanwhile, co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle laughed heartily as she hid her face in her hands.

Babbling Bob: a sight to behold–for better or for worse.

*The Five – 08/06/12 (@ 5:07 p.m. ET)

Update: Vid (courtesy of J$P).

T. J. Holmes: BET Bound

“Simply ecstatic.” CNN Newsroom weekend host Loutelious Ann “T. J.” Holmes indeed had “another gig lined up” before he bid his CNN colleagues adieu, apparently. According to Deadline Hollywood, CNN’s ebony Adonis has inked a “multi-platform” deal with BET Networks: I.e., T. J. will anchor a new television program for BET and “contribute” to its website.

In a BET.com report, Music Programming and Specials Prez Stephen G. Hill declared, “We are simply ecstatic to have T. J. Holmes coming to our fold. He’s been an outstanding news anchor and we look forward to working with him in a variety of ways on BET.” Perhaps, waxing a whit hyperbolic about his prized new catch, Hill elaborated, “It’s now upon us to develop vehicles that capture his intelligence, curiosity about the world, warmth, humor, and compassion. It’s a challenge that we are happy to have.”

T.J, you and your better half should be proud. Congratulations!

H/t J$P.

The Five’s Beckel: Bolling Saved My Life

“You’re a reluctant hero, my friend.” A grateful The Five co-host Bob Beckel revealed yesterday that his conservative co-anchor “nemesis” Eric Bolling saved his life shortly before the show. After Bolling opened the program with a query about the latest GOP jobs bill, he turned to co-anchor Greg Gutfeld for his opinion. Grinning as if on cue, Gutfeld replied, “I can’t discuss this story until we acknowledge what happened this afternoon”: then, pointing to Beckel for the obligatory explanation, he said, “Bob.”

Looking down at the table soberly, Beckel replied, “I guess you can’t make these things up….I have a couple of people to thank. We were having a celebratory lunch for The Five, the kickoff of The Five, and I choked. Literally choked, I mean I couldn’t breathe at all.”

Continuing somberly, Beckel remarked, “And, the boss of bosses here at Fox, Roger Ailes, stood up and gave me the Heimlich [maneuver]….He couldn’t get his arms all the way around me but he loosened it up enough.” Putting his hand on Bolling’s shoulder, an appreciative Beckel stammered, “And, then my brother here saved my, my, my existence because he got it out.”

Then, as he added, “And, it’s been a long and rough day…but I want to thank everybody for what he did,” co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle tenderly carressed his arm. Subsequently, Beckel dutifully cautioned viewers not to eat too fast, particularly big shrimp as he had. Interjecting, Gutfeld exclaimed, “You scared the hell out of us!” Feeling “the love,” Beckel replied, “I know I did, and I apologize for that. But, anyway, let’s get moving on.”

However, before they did, Bolling got the crew to declare the day “Bob Day” and maternal co-anchor Dana Perino reminded Beckel that it is not so smart to cry “wolf.” Pointing her pencil at him and arching her eyes, she gently chided, “Remember…it was just a week ago when you and I were in Atlanta together where you faked a heart attack and I thought it was real. So, today I was like, ‘Uh, okay, what is he doing now? Okay.’ And, then I kept talking to the neighbor on my left, and then I realized it was real.” Adding a little levity, Perino declared that had Bolling not been there, she would have had “to drop the atomic elbow” on him.

Chuckling Bowling interposed, “Can we get back to jobs now?”" Looking over at Bowling thankfully, Beckel declared, “You’re a reluctant hero, my friend. You a reluctant hero.” Seemingly somewhat embarrassed, Bowling replied, “God bless. Thank God it all worked out great.”

Indeed. Glad you’re still with us, Bob! And, kudos, Eric, for saving the day–and Bob’s life!

Author’s aside: For The Five footage, cf. J$P Video.

FNC’s Sweet Schadenfreude?

Christine Romans, “you’re just carrying the water for Mr. Obama.” Last night, FNC ratings juggernaut, the O’Reilly Factor, led with this caustic charge against the CNN anchor by CIA counter-terrorism analyst Michael Scheuer. This morning, Fox & Friends Weekend ran it thrice and gave Scheuer himself another shot at the co-host of its CNN rival, American Morning.

As Carpe Diem first reported, Romans and her co-anchor Kiran Chetry’s interview of Scheuer on the CIA’s role in Libya Thursday turned rather testy as it concluded. When Scheuer bemoaned the U.S.’ “spend[ing] enormous amounts of money [where there are no U.S. interests at stake] at a time when we’re nearly bankrupt,” Romans lectured, “And that’s a whole ‘nother story….The economy and this mission in Libya are two separate issues.” Acerbically, Scheuer responded, “They’re not separate issues, ma’am. You’re just carrying the water for Mr. Obama.” Bristling, Romans riposted, “I’m certainly not carrying anyone’s water!”

Last night, O’Reilly opened with an abbreviated clip of that very scene with Scheur’s saying, “You’re just carrying the water for Mr. Obama!” and Romans’ responding, “I’m certainly not carrying anyone’s water”: Concomitantly, O’Reilly remarked, “Former CIA guy Michael Scheuer attacks CNN for what he sees as biased coverage of Libya. We’ll get into it.”

Shortly thereafter, during his first Factor segment titled “War and Money,” O’Reilly aired more of the caustic exchange as described, supra. After doing so, he declared, “Right now the Libyan action is estimated to have cost the U.S.A. more than a half  billion dollarsm and, of course, the figure will rise. Not mincing words, he confidently concluded, “The CNN anchor is wrong when she says the Libyan action and the American debt are separate. They are not!” Elaborating, he added, “Sad truth is every action America takes from now on will have to be evaluated from a cost standpoint: That’s what happens when you’re 14 trillion dollars in debt.”

Today, Fox & Friends Weekend appeared to more patently revel in their CNN rival’s plight as they aired the diss of Romans repeatedly (twice in promos for their interview of Scheuer and once during it) and provided a facile forum for Scheuer to sneer anew at Romans. During the segment, “‘Flickers’ of Qaeda [in Libya]“, co-host Alisyn Camerota aired the AM clip and “innocently” inquired, “Michael, what, what did you object to in how it was being depicted there?”*

Smiling sardonically, Scheuer answered, “I always get a little angry when people treat me as if I’m dumber than I look.” As Camerota chuckled at his jest, Scheur sniped again at Romans, remarking, “And, to argue at a time when the government’s belly up with finances and we’re spending a hundred million dollars a day…on a useless war in which we shouldn’t be involved and say there’s no connection between the two is just apologizing for the [Obama] administration.” [Italics added for emphasis.]

FNC sweet Schadenfreude? Nah. Just a Roman(s) holiday.

Author’s aside: Ironically, in the background of the AM clip and the controversy stands CNN’s Kiran Chetry, American Morning‘s Aphrodite. As Romans receives its fire, FNC may be more than happy if its erstwhile rising star (and former Fox & Friends co-anchor) suffers some of the collateral damage. Especially, if boss Rupert Murdoch deems her to have crossed his proverbial Rubicon.

Update: Fox & Friends Weekend Scheuer interview vid (courtesy of J$P).

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 04/02/11 (@ 9:19 a.m. ET)

“You’re Just Carrying the Water for Mr. Obama!”

Christine Romans: “I’m certainly not carrying anyone’s water! And, I will assure you of that.” No milquetoast for breakfast today. Polite American Morning co-host Christine Romans got a piece of Michael Scheuer’s mind instead.  And, she was not amused.

During the AM segment entitled, “CIA in Libya,” Christine and co-anchor Kiran Chetry interviewed Michael Scheuer, a “former CIA counter-terrorism analyst, about the United States’ latest intervention in the Middle East. Skeptically, Scheuer propounded his concerns about the efficacy of arming and training the Libyan rebels in time to defeat Khadafy; “the [President's] putting himself into a corner where his only option is ground troops”; and the U.S.’ role in Libya being a “recruiting tool for extremists” (because it was perceived as the “American-led West attacking a Muslim country that has oil”).

Pressing Scheuer about his final point, supra, Kiran countered that U.S. officials had said that NATO had fully taken over operations and that their coalition included Arab states. Scoffing, Scheuer answered that the “U.S.-to-NATO leadership transfer was a “piece of theater set up by Ms. Clinton and Mr. McCain and the bipartisan group that loves to intervene abroad”) and that the “U.S.-led operation” was seen “in the Muslim world…[as]…Americans killing Muslims again…for oil.” Subsequently, when Kiran asked Scheuer whether America’s aid for the Libyan rebels was actually support of “Islamic democracy…tired of totalitarian rule,” he acidly asserted, “If we were supporting Islamic democracy, that would be one thing. But, if you listen to Ms. Clinton and, especially, the rather crazed Ms. Rice at the U.N., this is all about democracy in a world were democracy is not going to take hold.”

As Christine listened to Scheuer’s increasingly cutting criticism of the U.S. involvement in Libya, she appeared to become agitated in tandem with his answers (as she repeatedly put her hand on her hip, crossed her arms, and furrowed her eyebrows).

When the interview concluded, Christine dismissively interjected, “I think it’s very clear, Michael Scheuer, that you are no fan of this policy and this administration.”  Then, looking at Kiran repeatedly (as if for succor), Christine scolded, “I think calling Ambassador Rice crazed is certainly a significant charge.”

Unrepentant, Scheuer acerbically retorted, “Oh, I don’t know! I’ve just listened to her! That’s only my impression. Elaborating, he remarked, “[T]his is not a Democratic problem: this is a Republican problem, too. Both parties love to intervene in other people’s business where there are no U.S. interests at stake and where we spend enormous amounts of money at a time when we’re nearly bankrupt.”

With her arms crossed defiantly (and Kiran looking down at the desk demurely), Christine sharply disagreed, declaring, “And, that’s a whole nother [sic] story. To call the United States bankrupt–the United States is running humongous deficits, yes.” But, the economy  and this mission is Libya are two separate issues.”

Smiling, Seuer sneered, “They’re not separate issues, ma’am. You’re just carrying the water for Mr. Obama.”

Bristling at Scheuer’s slam, Christine retorted, “I’m certainly not carrying anyone’s water! And, I will assure you of that.”

Then, after thanking him for his time, Christine icily concluded, “You, know, we’ve had a very long, exhaustive interview. You’ve had plenty of time to give your point of view on that.”

For tea-sipping Christine, her Scheuer segment may have been “too early in the AM for  [such] insults.” But, for this coffee-quaffing viewer, it was a timely AM java jolt. Or, was it a Jautz jolt?

Update: This evening Mediaite‘s Matt Schneider found the story, supra, via Johnny Dollar’s Place and basically recapped it. However, Chickaboomer seized it saucily and gave it her own inimitable take.

Update2: Bill O’Reilly weighed in Friday during his O’Reilly Factor opening “Talking Points” segment on the Scheuer/Romans spat. After playing the clip of Scheuer skewering Christine, O’Reilly remarked, “This CNN anchor is wrong when she says the Libyan action and the American debt are separate: they are not. He opined, “The sad truth is every action America takes from now on will have to be evaluated from a cost standpoint: That’s what happens when you’re 14 trillion dollars in debt.”

Megyn: No Body Shots

Kelly: “There’s nothing wrong with sex appeal and there’s nothing wrong with sex.” Today America Live co-host Megyn Kelly adamantly defended coming-of-age Miley Cyrus’ sexy new video, “Who Owns My Heart.” In a segment with Parents Television Council president Tim Winter, who took issue with the young music star for her video’s risque content, Megyn observed, “Miley Cyrus, yes, she’s seventeen years old but she is, she looks like, she acts like a woman now….Isn’t she entitled to be a little sexy?”* Elaborating somewhat lubriciously, Megyn continued, “I know, I know she’s racy in this in black underwear, black and lace eye mask, scantily dressed, and there’s gyrating and there’s caressing herself.” Then, she queried, “But…how long does she owe this obligation to these young girls to sort of maintain a G-rated image?”

As Winter began to respond that most parents did not want Miley to follow the steps of Britney Spears from wholesome Disney star to wayward idol, Megyn asked, “What do you think this is going to do to the little girls who have loved her as little Hannah Montana?” When Winter replied that it was the “latest symptom in…a very broad epidemic of sexualization of little girls” in the modern culture, Megyn responded, “You know, some people would talk about it as sexual liberation as sort of–I’m not talking about the little girls–but sort of getting to the point where you’re almost at the age of maturity–Miley turns eighteen in November–and…coming into your own as a woman and understanding your own sex appeal.” Concluding her spiel, she declared, “There is nothing wrong with sex appeal and there’s nothing wrong with sex….How old does she have to be before that piece of her personality, her personhood can be embraced?”

Ironically, of late, Megyn herself has failed to appreciate her own sex appeal. Rather, than flaunting her sexy stems as usual, she has recently eschewed any shots below the waist. Perhaps, Megyn should ask herself when she will embrace anew that “piece of her personality, her personhood”?

America Live – 10/11/10 (@1:47 p.m. ET)

Update: Johnny Dollar kindly e-mailed the explanation for AL‘s recent lack of “body shots” of Megyn. He revealed, “Megyn is in a different studio. Hers is being revamped for election-night duties. The shots are close-in because it’s a smaller space.”

Megyn Goes Bottomless

America Live co-host Megyn Kelly treated her male admirers to a strange exhibition this morning. As Slate author Troy Patterson aptly observed, Megyn is “comfortably upfront about working her sex appeal.” However, today, was a different matter altogether: Fox News’ sexy siren went completely bottomless.

Unfortunately, for Megyn’s amorous acolytes, the DVR will probably not display their ardent desire: Rather, it may give them their most noxious nightmare. No, her long luscious legs were not on display nor were her “killer B’s” but Fox News censorious content of late was. E.g., instead of FNC’s usual lingering looks at Megyn’s sexy stems during interviews with regular guests such as Stuart Varney, Monica Crowley, and Richard Socarides, it gave its viewers not a single shot of Megyn’s legs nor a compensatory gaze at her ample bosom to boot.

With America’s Newsroom’s new look, Happening Now‘s Live Desk design, and, apparently, now America Live‘s sexless schema, Fox News vibrant viewers are simply left with Fox & Friends femme fatale, Gretchen Carlson. Enough to carry the day, or, at least, the morning? Only the ratings will tell.

Update: Johnny Dollar kindly e-mailed the explanation for Megyn’s “going bottomless” on AL. He revealed, “Megyn is in a different studio. Hers is being revamped for election-night duties. The shots are close-in because it’s a smaller space.”

Skinner Skedaddles: Dean Dolorous

Adieu, audience! Happening Now co-host Jane Skinner shocked her viewers with a short, sweet farewell this morning. As her show was about to end, Jane remarked, “Before we go today, I want to take just one minute and nine seconds of your time to let everybody know this is my last day on the air at Fox….[I]t’s been a thrill to have been a part of this incredible success of this place over the past twelve years that I have been here.”* She continued, “However, my life in those twelve years has changed pretty significantly in wonderful ways, and they’ve created a lot of new responsibilities. I added a husband [NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell]….I have twin daughters….So, to do justice to this new life, I’ve decided to take a break from this business.”

Subsequently, as Jane thanked boss Roger Ailes, co-host Jon Scott, and colleague Janice Dean (the “Weather Machine”), Jon’s eyes began to well up with tears. Then, with a quivering voice, Jon replied, “We are going to miss you like oxygen….I had a little ‘heads up’ on this–very little ‘heads up–and I thought it was going to keep me from getting all emotional. But, it didn’t!” With tears beginning to stream down his face, Jon continued, “Your girls and your husband are very lucky that you’re making a decision like this because there aren’t many women in this business who would do what you’re doing. And, I really admire you for it.”

Meanwhile, out of nowhere, Janice leaned into the shot and planted a mournful kiss upon Jane’s cheek. After cupping Janice’s face affectionately in her hand, Jane declared, “They’re pretty amazing. And, we have a lot of opportunities in our life to do a lot of great things, and I just don’t want to miss out on ‘em. So, but, thank you everybody, and thanks everybody for watching. It’s been so much fun!”

Then, looking back at Janice who was clenching her hands tightly together and weeping greatly, a slightly uncomfortable Jane laughed, “Do not cry! Don’t cry!” Interjecting, Jon remarked, “Somebody get the Weather Machine a tissue. We got a hurricane erupting on stage here.” Jane answered, “Oh! The emotional Weather Machine. Now you know why I love her. See, everyone else loves her, too.”

Shortly thereafter, Jane stoically concluded, “But, anyway, thanks everybody for watching. And, we will see you down the road. We will see you at the Super Bowl, for sure….And, Jon’ll see you tomorrow!”

*Happening Now – 06/24/10 (@12:56 a.m. ET)

Update: Vid (courtesy of J$P)

Megyn: Veils “View”

America Live co-host Megyn Kelly felt “definitely nervous” going on Howard Stern on Sirius today and it showed–in her clothing choice for his show.* Actually, Megyn seemed to intentionally make sure that she did not show it–at least, in a wardrobe malfunction. So, she “slacked” for the self-proclaimed King of All Media before shedding her pants for The View and America Live in favor of a short, sleeveless dress.

After Howard’s racy show, a relieved Megyn Tweeted, “Finished Stern – it was like an out of body experience. I liked him! & Robyn was cool. Some R-rated Qs but not bad. What’d u think?” Later, revealing that she was not quite the prudish prig, Megyn elaborated, “Well, of course, he’s Howard Stern so he did ask me some very personal questions. The answers, some I gave, some I didn’t.”** Then she teased, “The ones I gave may be a bit too edgy for daytime but his show replays all day on Sirius satellite radio so if you don’t get it you can subscribe now and listen to it.”

Megyn: Hiding from Howard? Not completely.

*America Live’s Stern snippet indicated that Megyn was wearing slacks and its vid clip of The View showed her wearing the dress. For the transcript of Howard Stern on Sirius clip it is as follows:

Stern: Look at you.

Megyn: I feel a little nervous, Robin.

Robin giggles.

Stern: Are those rip-away pants?

Robin: Rip-away pants?

Stern: Don’t they make such a thing as rip-away pants?

Robin: Not for newscasters.

Megyn: Yeah, exactly.

Howard: Baby, look at you!

Megyn: Aw, thank you!

** AL – 04/20/10 (@12:38 p.m. ET)

Update: An additional nearly 10-minute video of Megyn’s Stern interview can be found at Meidiaite. (H/t J$P.) Megyn gets personal as she discusses her friend Julie Banderas (“hot mama”), her “killer B’s” (real), and her love life (while pregnant).

F&F Goes “Nuclear”

Kaboom! As Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson Tweeted (after her Obama arms restrictions plan debate segment), “Whew….[T]hat’ll wake u up!” In a segment that promised to be prosaic and soporific, Carlson interviewed both Richard Grenell (former advisor to four U.S. ambassadors to the U.N.) and Joseph Cirincione (former director for nonproliferation of the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace) as to whether Obama’s proposed agreement with Russia’s President Medvedev would make Americans safer. However, fireworks quickly ensued and did not abate thereafter.

Moderator Carlson asked if the “whole point” was that the U.S. was trying “to stop these rogue states” and whether Iran and North Korea’s presidents would suddenly “get it” and “not…do nukes anymore.” Grenell posited that Obama’s announcement was “based on the erroneous assumption that if we Americans will lay down our weapons first, that others are just going to follow suit”: He added that the U.S. could deal with Iran and North Korea separately but that “the real problem is with non-state actors…[who] are not just going to lay down their weapons.” Cirincione countered, “That’s a phony argument [Carlson's] and Rick’s argument is totally naive: He continued that Obama’s plan was to get the world on board and to isolate the rogue leader(s).

Before Cirincione concluded his comments, Grenell interjected, “That is a left-wing fantasy. That is a left-wing fantasy!”* Enraged, Cirincione retorted, “Hey, man! Don’t smear me! Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that!” Then, after subsequently citing the support of the Secretary of Defense Robert Gates and the Joint Chiefs of Staff, he agitatedly added, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, man!”

When the allotted time had elapsed and the polemics battled still, Gretchen interjected, “Guys, I gotta wrap it up, unfortunately. Joseph and Rick, thank you very much for your very spirited debate. Appreciate it, especially, so early in the morning.” Arching his eyebrows, pursing his lips, and feigning a backhand through the camera, Cirincione disdainfully snarled, “Spirited? This was insulting!” Not satisfied, he then stared at Gretchen with deadly daggers until he disappeared off-screen.

Raw must-see F&F.

UPDATE: Vid (courtesy of  Johnny Dollar’s Place)

*Fox & Friends – 04/07/10 (@6:18 a.m. ET)

Julie: “I’m Following You Now, Alan”

“Teabagger” rift continues. Julie Banderas, FNC’s Big News Weekend host has taken sides with Alan Colmes against Red Eye’s Andy Levy and the Tea Party. After Carpe Diem reported that Andy had quit following Alan because of his continued use of the derogatory term “teabaggers” to describe members of the Tea Party, Andy RT’d a J$P Tweet that linked to the article. Responding shortly thereafter, Julie Tweeted, “You [Andy] got my attention.. I’m following you now Alan.”*

Unfortunately for Julie, her Twitter followers took note, too. One, IloiloKano, Tweeted, “Well you got my attention too @JulieBanderas, so this ‘teabagger’ is no longer following you..” Another, DaveMolinarolo, wrote, “@JulieBanderas I agree with @andylevy about the term “teabagger”…it’s not funny, it’s stupid. @AlanColmes is part of the problem.”

Related or not to the negative feedback from her followers, Julie deleted her controversial Tweet. (It is still available here.) Nevertheless, she remains true to her word: i.e., she is still following Alan.

Keeping Up with the Banderas.

* The entire Tweet read, “You got my attention.. I’m following you now Alan RT @andylevy: RT @johnnydollar01: Why @andylevy quit @AlanColmes. http://bit.ly/ahvT7E

Dead Show Airing?

A.M.: R.I.P.? After noting that American Morning co-hosts John Roberts and Kiran Chetry have seldom been seen behind the AM desk together lately and that a host of substitute co-anchors have been paraded before the AM audience, last week Carpe Diem asked, “AM: Shake-up Looming?” Yesterday, TheWrap.com answered in the affirmative–or, at least, indicated that it appears to be in the works. According to media expert Dylan Stableford (former Mediabistro.com managing editor and contributor to Salon, New York, and Rolling Stone), an inside source indicated that “CNN is testing a concept that would include personalities with dueling political ideologies and opinions” for “a new morning show pilot.”

Apparently, CNN/US prez Jon Klein has finally taken the blinders off. After trying to revitalize American Morning’s anemic ratings three years ago by bringing in seasoned journalist John Roberts and Fox News’ rising star Kiran Chetry, Klein’s endeavor has met with dismal disappointment. In fact, based on TVbytheNumbers.com’s figures and the author’s calculations, the total viewer ratings of 2010 (1st quarter) are identical to those of 2007 (1st quarter). Even more troubling, TheWrap.com reports that Nielsen numbers show that AM has declined 30% in 2010 in both total viewers and the prized 25-54 demographic.

According to Stableford, it is unclear what the purported changes mean for Roberts or Chetry. In the last few weeks, Roberts has been temped for by T.J. Holmes, Jim Acosta, and Christine Romans whereas Chetry has been filled in for by Sara Sidner and Kate Bolduan. In doing so, Klein has seemed to substitute AM regulars for Roberts and new faces for Chetry. Perhaps, he will keep this part of his formula but acribe to a more provocative, zanier, and, yes, “Friendlier” approach. [N.B. Roger Ailes' Fox & Friends shellacked Klein's American Morning by 4:1 (overall viewers) and by 3:1 (25-34 demog) in the latest numbers (03/09/10)]

As to Roberts and Chetry’s respective futures, a Klein canning could actually inure to their benefit ultimately. Roberts would be in a position to stake his claim anew to Uncle Walter’s seat if the old Tiffany network does not renew Katie Couric’s costly contract. And, Chetry may finally find redemption with her many fans at the top-rating cable news network if she is but granted Ailes’ absolution.

[Author's aside: Since Chetry's absences have been fewer than those of Roberts, Klein may be considering whether to keep Chetry. If so, he could use the former Fox & Friends (First & Weekend) co-host to guide CNN's version of FNC's morning news juggernaut.]

Hat tip to J$P (Johnny Dollar’s Place).

“America Live”: “NON-Sexy” Megyn?

America Live with Megyn Kelly: Fox News revealed the name and nature of Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly’s new show in promos aired yesterday on the cable news network.* Previewing Kelly’s new role on the program that begins next Monday (February 1), FNC somberly heralded Kelly as “smart, tough, trusted” (as it boldly emblazoned the words individually on the screen for emphasis). As a video montage of a serious, somewhat stern Kelly ensued, Fox News declared, “[D]igging deep, debating key issues, discussing the topics impacting you.” In other words, mind you, viewer, not sexy but serious.

Apparently, FNC did not intend to make the same mistake as CNN did when it introduced its new show for its beautiful blonde, Paula Zahn, eight years ago. I.e., FNC did not want its own version of the infamous “zipper” promo. In that instance, when CNN controversially previewed its then new show, American Morning, with Zahn, a male voice-over announced her as “provocative, super-smart, oh yeah, and just a little sexy: then, as the word “sexy” flashed on the screen, the seeming sound of an unseen zipper opening could be heard. (CNN pulled the ad posthaste after the ensuing media uproar.)

However, FNC may well want to remember, as it certainly knows, that indeed “sex sells.” The former co-host of America’s Newsroom and legal eagle of the O’Reilly Factor is not only known for her serious smarts and mental acuity but also for her sexy stems and short skirts. Trying to make Fox News viewers forget the latter may make them somewhat less inclined to watch her.

* Vid link: via Johnny Dollar’s Place (J$P).