Oops! FNC’s Blonde Tweet of the Day [Deleted!]

Anna’s off-teleprompter meme moment. Perhaps, in one of the funniest Fox News faux pas of the day, Fox News correspondent Anna Kooiman Tweeted, “Is the NSA WHISTLEBLOWER a HERO or a TRADER?” Apparently, the poor South Carolina lass was not paying enough attention this afternoon and was simply parroting what she thought was FNC’s query of the day: Actually, it was “Hero or traitor”?

Homophone gaucherie or not, fortunately, for the former Fox & Friends First twin of Ainsley Earhardt, none of her followers had the heart to correct her: But, comically, two of her acolytes did favorite her. Nevertheless, Carpe Diem had to, at least, take note.

Thanks for the laugh, Anna!

[Author's aside: As this article was being written, Anna deleted her 2:22 p.m. CT Tweet: However, the CD reader can still enjoy that laugh.]

F&F First Flubs: Time Out!

Fox & Friends First did not start on time again? For some strange reason, producers have started, at least, four of the latest five F&F‘s at 4:58 a.m. instead of its scheduled time 5:00 a.m. ET. For fans of the show who want to watch the entire program (especially, those who deem to DVR it), the producers’ lapses are a painful way to start the morning.

Tighten up, F&F! Excellence should begin even before the break of dawn.

Purring Aly Cat: “With…a Leash in My Teeth?”

C.O.M.A. today: But, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota decidedly heated up the set last Sunday with her wicked game. After a cute headline news story with a dog walking a horse by a lead, co-host Clayton Morris pruriently queried, “You ever walk a stallion like that?” Always one to enjoy a double entendre, Aly coquettishly riposted, “With, with, uh, a leash in my teeth?” Pausing for affect, she bawdily added, “No, I haven’t. Strangely!” As she chuckled heartily at her own Mae West wit, a goatish Clayton grinned as their almost clueless co-host Tucker Carlson remarked, “Well, I have.”

*Fox & Friends Sunday – 06/02/13 (@ 6:31 a.m. ET)

[Author's aside: C.O.M.A. double entendre explained: "Cleaning Out My Attic"-- and coma (dull day today).]

“Exposing Myself” Again? Agonized Geraldo Out!

“There were tears! My adult daughters were there with my wife….nasty super PACs…having to relive…details in my book. FNC “Geraldo at Large” host Geraldo Rivera announced today that he is not running as a GOP candidate for the New Jersey U.S. Senate seat left open after the recent death of Senator Frank Lautenberg.

As Geraldo’s usual Friday Fox & Friends weekly promo segment for his show concluded today, F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade queried, “Are you going to run for the Senate seat in New Jersey, Geraldo Rivera?”*

In reply, Geraldo revealed, “Last night, I met with my family….Looking at the lay of the land, running as a Republican in a Democratic state, I would have…had to have…tens of millions of dollars. I was willing to spend a substantial part of my own, our family’s savings but it would have been a very difficult road.”

Clarifying Geraldo’s quasi-definitive answer further, Brian pointedly asked, “You’re not running?”

Without equivocation, wannabe pol Geraldo asservated, “I am not running for Senate.”

Following up, Brian sympathetically probed, “But, it was really agonizing for you?”

Shaking his head mournfully, Geraldo declared, “It was agonizing. There were tears! My adult daughters were there with my wife. We were talking about going up against super PAC’s, nasty super PAC’s, unlimited funds in the opponent.” With a defiant wave of his hand to his probable detractors, he explained, “Having to relive all of the, the things that Gretch [en Carlson] read in my book ['Exposing Myself'].”

Chuckling knowingly, Gretchen responded, “Alright. Tough decision. Thank you, Geraldo.”

*F&F – 06/07/13 (@ 8:12 a.m. ET)

Aly: “I’m Gonna Come Back!” Not!

Oops! She did it again–but, even worse! Yesterday, Fox & Friends fill-in Alisyn Camerota overslept and was half an hour late for the show: Today, she did not even make her promised return!

Substituting for the frequently absent Gretchen Carlson Monday, a chagrined Aly made her appearance on the program tardy by more than thirty minutes: After initially jesting that she had run off with the band Lonestar (F&F’s Friday summer concert band with Aly as sexy cowbell belle), she blamed it on her Blackberry alarm not going off and her malfunctioning internal alarm clock. Aptly, she said that she was sorry to her co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, and emergency sub Ainsley Earhardt and asked for her audience’s forgiveness, saying, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Much later, when the show was about to end, Steve alluded anew to Aly’s faux pas, saying, “Well, you know, things started, Aly actually didn’t look like [she] was going to make the show because the alarm didn’t go off.”* Deadpanning, Aly mischievously asked, “Is that the story [that] you are going with?” Smiling, Steve riposted, “Well, that’s what you told us!” Licking her upper lip impishly, Aly answered, “Oh! I didn’t know if we were going with the tour bus story or the alarm clock. I like both!”

Subsequently, as usual, Brian teased the next day’s show, announcing F&F‘s upcoming guests (Dr. Oz, Senator Marco Rubio, Miranda Kerr, and Laura Ingraham). Touting Tuesday’s show further, Steve remarked, “It’s a fantastic show.” In concert, raising her left hand for emphasis immediately, Aly declared, “I’m gonna come back!” Concluding, Steve exclaimed, “Alright!”: Turning to his F&F viewers, he added, “And, we hope you do, too!”

Unfortunately for Aly’s fans who returned to F&F today, their lovely lady was not true to her word. I.e., she did not return. On the bright side today, a second South Carolina “Morning Glory,” Anna Kooiman, was there today to arouse them at the break of the dawn.

*Fox & Friends – 06/03/13 (@ 8:59 a.m ET)

Aly Cat: “Sorry about That!..It’s So Embarrassing!

Waking hubby: “Hey…what are you doing?” Oops! Tardy substitute Fox & Friends co-host Alisyn Camerota had a very bad early morning: But, on the bright side, she may have had a very good late night.

When Aly failed to appear in for an absent Gretchen Carlson on the F&F curvy couch at the start of the show, a seemingly surprised Ainsley Earhardt, Fox & Friends First co-anchor, surfaced instead on F&F after her own show F&F First, exclaiming, “Well, good morning to you! It is Monday June 3rd….I’m filling in for Gretchen [Carlson] this morning.”

Providing scant cover for his long-time FNC colleague in the show intro (as producers ran a clip of Aly and FNC meteorologist Maria Molina suggestively jamming out with Lonestar last Friday on A.S.S.), co-anchor Brian Kilmeade jested, “Last we saw Aly Camerota, she was partying with the band on our Friday summer concert series and…she’s supposed to be here….[A]ll I know is she is not here. What happened? That story we have.”

Chiming in bawdily, co-host Steve Doocy teased, “She took off with the band! Hello!”

Then, after the F&F theme had played, Ainsley revealed, “Okay, so…we have to be honest here. I’m, like, anchoring the 5 a.m. show, and they’re saying, “Ainsley, we need you to stick around and zip downstairs to Studio B because Aly has overslept this morning! Aly was filling in for Gretchen.” Elaborating, she animatedly disclosed, “So, Aly moved out to Connecticut…recently…a year ago or something….So, this morning, we were…all saying, ‘Oh, her husband [Tim Lewis is] in trouble.’ She’s gonna be like, ‘We’re moving back into the city (NYC): I can’t be this far away from work.”

Trying to come to the aid of Aly valiantly, Brian added, “Well, here, here’s the problem, Ainsley, as you know: They had a five-and-a-half marathon on Saturday and then four hours again on Sunday and then they had the After the Show Show and then some post-tapes. This woman is worn out!”

Giving slightly less succor to the alluring Aly, Steve jibed, “Oh, come on! And, then throw in that she looked like she wanted to join the band.”

Much more amenably, Ainsley interjected, “Right! And, throw in a few kids and a husband. I mean, come on!”

Smiling comically, Steve concluded, “If and when she shows up, you’ll see her…as Ainsley disappears shortly.”

Approximately, thirty minutes later, Aly finally emerged from her make-up room and sashayed to the set, laughing, “I’m ready now!…I just got off the Lonestar tour bus: But, I’m back now.” Reaching the curvy couch with pastry sops, she apologized, “Thank you, guys! Sorry about that!”

Feigning irritation, Steve queried, “Where were you?”

Chagrinned, Aly exclaimed, “My Blackberry did not go off this morning! Yes, I’m blaming my alarm clock, and my internal alarm clock malfunctioned as well!” Looking into the camera at her fans and bowing her head as their supplicant, she said, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Turning to Aly empathetically, Ainz asked, “Isn’t is so embarrassing when you wake up and the husband says, ‘Aren’t you supposed to be at work?’”

Heartily, Aly agreed, “It’s horrible! Revealing some benign early morning bedchamber chat with her mate, Aly added, “My husband goes, ‘Hey, It’s 4:30. What are you doing?’ I’m, like, ’4:30!’ Like my hair’s on fire, and I jumped up.” Grinning naughtily, Aly racily remarked, “And, he wasn’t happy about me going on the tour with Lonestar either! So, I’m in the doghouse!”

Lonestar love to lonely lady! From “cathouse” to “doghouse”? Regardless, Aly is in the house!

[Author's aside: For a pic of Aly, Tim, their twin daughters (Alessandra and Francesca) and their son, Nate, link here.]

Flattered Janice: “Fox News Weather Skank”?

Anna Kooiman: “This must have been in your dancing days, Janice!” Fox News meteorologist Janice Dean reminded her fans why they love her this morning: their gorgeous gal is shameless! After a headlines story on the new Universal Studio Simpsons theme park opening this summer in Orlando, FL, Janice proudly revealed, “A little know fact, years ago on the Simpsons, they actually referenced a Fox News weather girl, and at the time, I was the only news weather girl. I believe the line was something like, ‘This coffee is hotter than a Fox News weather lady but the word lady wasn’t used: It was something that was a little bit more, uh, not morning show friendly.”*

“Risque?,” chuckled fill-in Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman. As fellow guest co-host Mike Jerrick nodded, “I hear you,” co-anchor Clayton Morris asked, “Were you flattered?” Without answering, FNC meteorologist Janice Dean declared, “You could probably Google it.” Grinning and shimmying in her seat, Anna replied, “This must have been in your dancing days, Janice!”

Correcting Anna’s inadvertent slight subtly, Clayton interjected, “Which still are going on.” Appreciatively, a smiling Anna concurred, “Well, true!”

For those, who missed that Simpsons episode “lauding” JD, the self-dubbed “Dancing Machine,” Janice teased, “But, one of these days, I will add it on to my resume tape.”

Unfortunately, Janice did not reveal her salty Simpsons moniker today: However, she frankly disclosed it in her FoxNews.com blog post titled, “Hotter than a Fox News Weather Blank…” on November 23, 2007. In that article, she wrote, “I was…reminded of a line off that show that many Simpsons fans have since referenced in my presence (mainly my little brother!). It was a few years ago and at the time I was strangely flattered…Here’s the line: ‘Careful. It’s hotter than a Fox News weather skank.’” Proudly, she added, “It’s pretty funny. I think that I have it on tape somewhere.”

Unfortunately, the author has not found that Simpsons tape yet, Janice. But, please post it: your F&FW fans would love to see it!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 05/25/13 (@ 7:37 a.m. ET)

CNN’s Indra vs. FNC’s Maria: Weathergal Catfight?

Rowrrr! Yesterday, Early Start co-anchor John Berman introduced blonde beauty Indra Petersons as “our brand new CNN meteorologist and the newest addition to our team here in the morning.”* The Latvian lovely stands in stark contrast to Cosmo’s caliente Nicaraguan nymph Maria Molina, the brunette beauty who just snared her own early morn Monday-through-Friday gig on FNC.

According to IndraPetersons.com, Indra is of Latvian heritage, speaks the language fluently, and has learned her country’s “native folk songs and dances” (including the polka). Furthermore, she is said to be a Los Angeles native who started her career in El Paso at KVIA as a weathergal; moved on to Santa Barbara at KEYT as a meteorologist; and then went to Los Angeles’ ABC7 in 2004 as not only the weatherwoman but also as a “general assignment reporter” before replacing Rob Marciano as CNN’s premier meteorologist.  As far as her hobbies are concerned, the hottie is a travel enthusiast who chronicles here travels on her Facebook page.

Whether one agrees with global warming or not, the weather just got a lot hotter with the new girl in town! And, the mornings may dawn just a little sweeter with the potential pillow fights in the offing between CNN’s new  long-tressed towhead and her FNC brown-maned rival. CNN’s Indra vs. FNC’s Maria: a cable dream pay-per-view!

*Early Start – 05/20/13 (@ 6:05 a.m. ET)

Clayton No Dave: “Wins” Rigged Kayak Race

Stuttering Tucker takes one for “the team”: “I’m not, I, you know, I, I think Clayton won.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris finally took the gold in the annual F&FW-Bass Pro Shops kayak race–albeit with an abetting hand. With perennial champion Dave Briggs sidelined at NBC Sports Network, Clayton seemed possibly positioned to, at least, have a chance at a viable victory in view of his F&FW fans. But, apparently, F&FW producers had little to no faith in his ability alone to vanquish his new opponent, co-anchor Tucker Carlson.

Introducing the 2013 keen competition between Clayton and his new competitor Tucker (kayak racing vid), co-host Alisyn Camerota remarked, “The Great American Kayak Race has become a tradition on Fox & Friends: This weekend we continue with that venerable tradition.” Looking out at her lads on the water, Aly declared, “Tucker, you don’t know what you’re in for: This is your first annual kayak race. Clayton, you’re old hat: But, you’ve never won. So, let’s see what happens today.”

Standing in support next to the ever also-ran Clayton, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth animatedly interjected, “Tucker, what you need to know is that Clayton, um, is incredibly athletic. And…you’re really in for a big challenge here.” As Tucker derisively laughed, “Yeah,” Rick continued, “He’s also not afraid of getting wet! We’ll just put those two things [out].”

Subsequently, when Aly counted down to takeoff, Clayton’s F&FW/Bass Pro kayak handler propelled him forward as Tucker’s counterpart held him back until Clayton had reached virtually the first leg end point. Chuckling at the injustice, Tucker robustly oared forward and appeared to actually win the race by a nose. With the fix in, though, apparently, Clayton raised his arms in “triumph” as the Bass Pro ref and the handler who had held Tucker back pointed to Clayton as the purported winner.

Trying to appear, at least, a little fairer, Aly exclaimed, “That was a tie. You think so?” The “unbiased” Bass Pro ref shook his head and alleged that Clayton had won albeit barely. Aly countered, “I think it was a tie. I really think it was a tie!” As a smiling Clayton claimed, “Finally!,” Aly countered, That was a photo finish: I need to see the instant replay!”

Nevertheless, the Bass Pro spokesperson took the gold medal to Clayton, saying, “I’m going to give, I’m going to give first over here. I think you deserve it.” Turning to Tucker with the silver, he continued, “Even though, even though, you got cheated just a little bit.”

As the segment concluded, Rick stood beside Clayton: Pointing to Tucker, he aptly asserted, “I think you might want to thank his, um, four-second late start.”

When the show concluded about fifteen minutes later with Clayton the only cast member strangely absent, producers aired the photo finish again. As it ran, Aly declared, “Thanks so much for joining us. You can see here the very suspenseful final seconds of our annual kayak race. I think it was a tie.”

To her newly initiated co-host, she “innocently” queried, “What do you think, Tucker?” As Aly grinned at F&FW‘s compliant tyro, Tucker dutifully stuttered, “I’m not, I, you know, I, I think Clayton won.” Patting her new student on the shoulder approvingly, Aly replied, “Wow! Very big of you. Very big of you!”

Poor Tucker: Sounded like Clayton’s Baghdad Bob today!

“History Bluff” Clayton: Clueless–Again?

“We haven’t had a Triple Crown winner since what, since Secretariat?” Fox & Friends co-host Clayton Morris, who prides himself in his purported historical ken, got his comeuppance for the second week in a row. Last Sunday, he was the only co-anchor to “need a refresher course on the Founding Mothers” as his co-anchor Alisyn Camerota so aptly asserted. (Vid: 2:48/3:10.) Today, he sorely needed a cheat sheet on the last Triple Crown winner of thoroughbred racing.

During a Preakness Stakes segment this morn with DailyThoroughbredNews.com editor Christina Bossinakis, the co-hosts’ discussion turned inevitably to whether Kentucky Derby winner Orb could conquer the second leg of the Triple Crown. When Bossinakis indicated that she thought that he would win unless a surprising variable occurred, Clayton regrettably ad libbed, “One of the variables, because we haven’t had a Triple Crown winner since what, since Secretariat?”

In response to Clayton clearly clueless, Bossinakis charitably replied, “It was actually Affirmed in 1978 and then we had Seattle Slew in 1977.”

Duly corrected, Clayton confessed, “I don’t know why…it just sounded good.”

Not.

Kooiman’s Kinky “White Wedding”

Anna the next F&F spring bride-to-be? FNC correspondent Anna Kooiman subtly announced today that she is getting married (at least, if the past two years of Fox & Friends spring wedding exercise segments are a precedent). In her first promo of her “Wedding Workout! How to Slim Down for the Big Day” racy couples fitness segment, Anna excitedly did jumping jacks with her white veil and faux marital garb to the tune of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”: Off camera, F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade teased, “I think one is getting married: I think they’re all getting married, including Kooiman.”*

Later, when F&F co-anchor Alisyn Camerota introduced F&F‘s “Wedding Workout!” segment in the second hour, a smiling Anna appeared on camera in her ivory attire animatedly doing jumping jacks new–but this time with a suggestive ebony blindfold over her eyes.** Pulling it up momentarily, Anna remarked, “A couple that works out together stays together. And, that’s the idea behind…a brand new wedding season class at New York Sports Club.” Turning to her musclebound, blindfolded partner dressed all in black, she said, “This is my hubby….As if her real man were watching, she reassuringly declared, “He’s my stand-in hubby, just for the day!” [Italics added for emphasis.]

Subsequently, she had her “man of the moment” massage her shoulders as she interviewed the NY Sports Club instructors, asking them the name of their class: When the lady instructor responded “Tough Love,” Anna prompted her to give the rest of the risque rubric, “Bars, bands, and blindfolds.” Pulling her blindfold back over her eyes seductively, Anna racily remarked, “And, blindfolds. We are channeling Fifty Shades of Grey [an erotic romance thriller].” Subsequently, she did some “trust squats” blindfolded back-to-back with her partner and some bondage exercises (albeit free of the large rubber band loosely binding the ankles of some of the others).

When Anna began to wrap her report and segue back to the three F&F co-anchors, Steve Doocy randily queried, “What does the blindfold do?” Blushing, a grinning Anna answered, “This is what’s building the trust.” As Aly arched her eyebrows knowingly and echoed “the trust,” Ann continued, “I think because of the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, they are trying to…capitalize on that a bit.”

As Anna’s segment concluded, Aly intoned, “That’s great. Anna, I love that you turned to your partner like ‘married only for the day,’ ‘only for right now’ you had to tell him.” Hugging her hunk du jour in response, Ann chuckled, “Just for the day. Great, though!” Interjecting bawdily, Brian jested, “Right. Because he was hoping for the honeymoon!” As Steve smiled and Aly laughed, Anna tersely replied, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Yeah, yeah, Brian.” Anna probably already has her boy toy in tow if F&F‘s past is a prelude to her future. Almost two years ago (June 5, 2011), F&FW guest co-host Molly Line did a Nikki Fitness segment with “brides” in white entitled, “Bridal Boot Camp: Tips to get in shape for the big day”: Four days later on F&F weekday, she proudly proclaimed that she was betrothed and happily displayed her new engagement ring. Last year (June 14, 2012), Ainsley did her own Nikki Fitness segment titled, “Wedding Workout: Exercises to Get You Ready for the Big Day” in white connubial dress: Two weeks to the day later, Ainz was sporting her own connubial bling but waited until another month and half to announce, “Yes, I’m getting married.”

This year, Anna followed with her saucier version of the annual spring “white wedding” exercise segment: Today, it sounded as if Anna may have her own marital band in full view. Anna’s foot may not have fit into Cinderella’s glass slipper two days ago: But, she appears to have her real Prince at the ready.

*F&F – 05/02/13 (@ 6:56 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at @ 6:38 a.m. ET.

Game Day Over: Aly’s “B Team” Back!

No news is good news for Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson. Yesterday, FNC’s “A Team” took the field after the capture of the last of the Boston Marathon bomber brothers: From an early edition F&F First to America Live, FNC’s regular programming (save for Happening Now) and their co-hosts returned to the day’s fare. Nevertheless, F&FW co-host Alisyn Camerota maintained her pivotal position on F&F‘s curvy couch as she was joined by FNC’s week-day alpha dogs, Brian Kilmeade (F&F co-anchor) and Jon Scott (Happening Now co-host). Notably, F&FW “B Team” boys, Clayton and Tucker were sent to the sidelines without a mere mention to their F&FW fans.

But, today was a new day. As the news returned to normal, Aly still reigned supreme on her curvy couch. And, joining her again were her courtiers, Clayton and Tucker, comfortably ensconced as her bookends: The alpha males had gone away and the beta boys were back in town.

Today, all was right again–at least, in F&FW‘s world.

Terse Gretch Explains Absence

“I’m glad to be back here today.” Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson seemed rather defensive this morning about her absence yesterday from F&F‘s Boston Marathon tragedy special edition. Appearing eager to explain America Live‘s Megyn Kelly‘s appearance on the curvy couch in her place, Gretchen got straight to the point as soon as the show started.

After the obligatory opening teases for the program, Gretchen solemnly said, “Welcome, everyone. Good to be back.” As her co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy looked at her with stone faces, a seemingly agitated Gretchen declared, “Unfortunately, I was on an airplane when all of this happened in Boston and could not get from the West Coast. I’m glad to be back here today.” In response, Steve stayed strangely silent and Brian simply said, “Yeah.”

Yeah. Sounds like someone may have heard the scuttlebutt. Or, read Carpe Diem yesterday.

F&F’s Special Megyn Kelly: “Now I’m Curvy”

Preggers pretty: “This is interesting for me.” America Live anchor Megyn Kelly returned regally to Fox & Friends‘ curvy couch this morning to fill-in for the seemingly increasingly absent Gretchen Carlson. Looking resplendent in a purple modest dress with a demurely plunging neckline, the gravid beauty joined co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade for a Boston Marathon tragedy special edition. Like F&F Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota who oft takes the field for F&F‘s ”A Team” on other momentous occasions, Megyn provided her usual grace and necessary gravitas to carry the show with the boys for four long hours of in-depth coverage of the horrific killings and the monstrous maimings on Patriot Day as the Bean City showcased the national’s oldest marathon.

After F&F coverage of the chaos for over two long hours, Megyn decided to give her audience a short interlude of levity. Mid-show, subsequent to Boston-based FNC correspondent Molly Line‘s report subtitled “Boston Terror Bombings,” she started to discuss the survivors’ loss of their limbs and security and to contrast their plight with the comfort of the co-hosts and their viewers, saying, “Here we are…on the curvy couch.” Interrupting herself mid-sentence, Megyn declared, “This is interesting for me. I did it [co-hosting] once seven years ago”: Placing both her palms on her stomach, she chuckled, “But, never pregnant!”

Pointing to Megyn’s baby bump in reply, Steve smilingly jested, “Now you’re curvy to go with the couch!” Grinning jauntily, Megyn replied, “Now, I’m curvy, right! You’ve got a curvy anchor to go on the curvy couch!”

Vintage Megyn Kelly: serious news–with her saucy take. Lawyer journo GQ “hot”!

[Author's aside: For Megyn's AL announcement of her third-to-be, cf. here for video.]

Maria Molina: Tart Tatt or Beauty Birthmark?

Pretty in pink. Hottie FNC meteorologist Maria Molina is on a new schedule and is sporting a new look. Cosmo‘s caliente Latina announced a few weeks ago that she will be on Fox News from 5 a.m. to 12 noon E.T. Mondays through Fridays: Apparently, Maria has replaced Janice Dean on Fox & Friends First on Thursdays and Fridays.

As to her new look, Maria eschews her nubial naked appeal re jewelry: Instead, the Nicaraguan nymph now not only wears her de rigeur earrings but also she “dresses to kill” (vid) as she dons a bracelet on her left wrist and a watch on her right one. Consequently, her fans rarely espy that pink ring with two barbs on the bottom of her left wrist hidden that seemed to whisper naughty nothings to her fans.*

Still, tatt or birthmark? ‘Fess up, Maria!

[Author's aside: Whether her beauty barbs are a tatt or a beauty mark, she has failed to disclose when asked.]

*Fox & Friends First – 04/09/13 (5:38 a.m. ET)

Aly Revives “In the Green Room”

But, uncensored this time? Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota (and her indefatigable assistant Jenn Marie Rivera) resurrected F&F’s moribund “In the Green Room” blog today after almost a year in the grave. Alerting Aly acolytes and other F&FW fans to the good news, Jenn promised them a weekly “behind-the-scenes…Curvy Couch” peek. Unedited, hopefully.

As her long-time fans remember, Aly ran a fun, fab In the Green Room earlier iteration a few years ago. In it, she shared special moments from her past and included family beach photos, prom pics and even a purported “figment of [her] former self” bikini shot–not to mention her “You Sexy Thing” wedding video. Unfortunately, the Bristol Bay babe herself got cold feet over her sexy posts or some priggish FNC philistine decided to bowdlerize (or Bloombergize) them for the public good.

Now, she’s back! Hopefully, she will deliver the goods again. Unvarnished–and unredacted!

[Author's aside: Aly's renewed “In the Green Room” appears to be a probable replacement for her once public website alisyncamerota.com that is now private. Cf. Carpe Diem‘s “Sexy Aly: My New Website.”

Aly in White: “I Married for Looks”

Timothy Lewis: Aly’s Ivory League Hubby. Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota let her acolytes know that she is still “tethered” to her Ivory League hottie even if she somehow forgot her wedding ring Wednesday on America’s Newsroom. Without identifying hubby Timothy Lewis by name, she took the opportunity to elaborate on her connubial state this morning during an F&FW story on college and marriage.

In a second-hour segment on an opining Princeton mom who encouraged female students to snag their eligible schoolmates (like her son because they would never have a better pool from which to pick), Aly smirked at this out-dated dating tip on the preeminence of getting one’s M.R.S. degree in college. Comically, co-anchor Clayton Morris asked Aly whether she as an “intelligent beautiful woman” who had “dated…some morons” and “ended up with marrying a very intelligent man” had not married the “morons” because she “felt intellectually superior” to them: In response, Aly jested, “Look, I don’t call them ‘morons,’ I call them ‘convicts’….As you know–you both [Clayton and guest co-host Kelly Wright] have met my husband–I married for looks!” [Pic of Aly, her handsome hubby Tim, and their three children.]

Elaborating, Aly exclaimed, “I could never have followed her advice:  Thank goodness, I didn’t married anybody right out of college!” Countering, Kelly interjected, “And, then was your husband from an Ivory League school?” Laughing, Aly acknowledged, “Yes….Yes, he is!” When Kelly persisted that she was giving the Princeton mother some validity because she had married an Ivy Leaguer, Aly aptly riposted, “But, but, it took me a LONG time to get there!”

[Author's aside: Unfortunately, for F&FW fans who would like to see more of Aly and her guy, their edgy "You Sexy Thing" wedding dance video has been deleted from F&F's "In the Greenroom" blog. P.S. Re "Aly in White" in the title, it refers to Aly's demure bridal-like white dress today.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/30/13 (@ 7:33 a.m. ET)

Aly in Red: Naked Again!

Rocking and ringless anew? Sexy Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota guest-hosted America’s Newsroom in a state of connubial dishabille yesterday. Filling in for AN co-host Martha MacCallum (who also has had her own “ringless” AM moments), Aly sported a demure fire-red dress with tanned-nude high heels to match sans wedding band.* Sitting beside her co-anchor Bill Hemmer, a lovely Aly appeared unencumbered, embodying DeBurgh’s lovely lady in red.

As long-time F&FW fans may remember, Aly interrupted her five-month abdication of her throne in 2011 to guest-host F&F weekday on July 10, 2011. While doing so, the Bohemian beauty ditched her marital band and rocked out during Loverboy’s live rendition of “Working for the Weekend” in her “‘hep’ headband and a matching wristband” atop the shoulders of an appreciative co-anchor Brian Kilmeade.** Since Carpe Diem chronicled that festive event (Aly’s Back: She’s Rocking–& Ringless), she has dutifully adorned herself in her connubial bond to hubby Tim Lewis.

“Lady in Red”: naked again! Tethered or not, Aly’s never “shine(d) so bright.”

*America’s Newsroom – 03/27/13 (vid – 2:47/5:35)

**Fox & Friends – 06/10/11 (vid – 1:59/4:13)

“I’m Alisyn Camerota”: Gretchen Who?

“Gretchen is off this week and Aly is in her spot.” Thus, Fox & Friends co-anchor Steve Doocy explained yesterday the latest absence of co-host Gretchen Carlson, who has reportedly been haggling with FNC for her own show.*  However, today, without any mention of filling in for Gretchen, guest co-anchor Alisyn Camerota introduced herself at the start of each hour simply saying, “I’m Alisyn Camerota.” Noteworthy? Perhaps.

As Gretchen absences seem more and more oft, Fox & Friends fans may be forgiven for wondering if FNC Executive VP of Programming Bill Shine is auditioning vixens anew for the center seat on the curvy couch. Monday, Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt made an appearance; Tuesday, Anna Kooiman, the former F&FF co-anchor who has suddenly enjoyed a significant presence on F&F (corresponding with the one-year anniversary of the latest iteration of F&FF which she and Ainsley christened together).* Yesterday and today, Aly, the consummate center F&F curvy couch co-anchor, took “Gretchen’s place” not only without a hitch but took it up a notch as usual.

If Gretchen does leave her seat on the F&F shared sofa for her own FNC chair, it seems obvious that Aly would be the natural choice. But, Anna appears to be the “wild card”: She’s smart, beautiful, and, oh, so ENERGETIC–and F&F wants its viewers to get to know her better:  Lately, it has proudly showcased her on a very regular basis, e.g., as the sexy “turbo kicking” teacher [vid]; the sensual Cirque du Soleil acrobat; and as the fearless five-city reporter in search of an “honest man.”

Nevertheless, the author tends to think that the more seasoned Aly is and would continue to be a natural fit with the weekday A-Team of Steve and Brian Kilmeade. As for Anna? She certainly would serve as a sexy, sharp, spunky F&F Weekend co-host to contrast with the ever awkward Tucker Carlson and “tech geek” Clayton Morris if Aly moves up when Gretch moves out.

*Fox & Friends – 03/20/13 (@ 8:01 a.m. ET)

“Proud” Tucker: It Hasn’t Impaired My Dignity!

Co-host Clayton Morris: “I gave that up a long time ago!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Tucker Carlson seems to finally be “let[ting] us in” as his co-host Alisyn Camerota obliquely requested over three months ago. Yesterday, the usually uptight conservative Daily Caller co-founder decided to do a “down and dirty” tease with the “Clean Momma” a la his Dancing with the Stars days [via F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth's  vid]:* In fact, he even did an encore in the subsequent fitness segment illustrating the “Dustpan-Busting Butt-Burner” for Clean Momma who “want[ed] to watch [his] butt go up and down.”** Today, Tucker dutifully donned with good humor F&FW‘s de rigeur St. Patrick’s Day kitsch alongside Aly and Clayton for the amusement of their F&FW fans. [Aly assistant Jenn Rivera pics: 1, 2.]

Over three months ago (on his third day as unofficial new F&FW co-host), Tucker and his co-anchors (Aly and guest co-host Mike Jerrick) had their personal signatures analyzed by handwriting expert Michelle Dresbold, author of Sex, Lies and Handwriting.*** When Tucker showed Ms. Dresbold’s his autograph (“TSMC”), she incredulously declared, “Most people, at least, cursive their signature: When you print, it…means you’re not letting anyone see you too much. And, you only write your initials which means ‘I’m really not letting you see too much: I’m doing quick as I can and get it done.”

Downplaying Dresbold’s rather frank assessment, a stone-faced Tucker joked, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.” Not letting him off so easily, Aly interjected, “Um, why won’t you let us in, Tucker?” Smiling and pointing at his heart, Tucker riposted, “I don’t know. Because it’s too dark inside.”

Perhaps, with the assistance of a few early morn Irish coffees, Tucker finally opened himself a mite on this St. Paddy’s Day weekend. But, if he really wants to win his F&FW viewers over, Tucker will have to follow Aly’s intimated advice to let them in. Otherwise, FNC’s sun-”Shine” may reconsider allowing the “other Carlson” to brighten too many more F&FW dawns.

[Author's aside (re title and subtitle): As the third hour of F&FW opened, Tucker donned a fake green mustache and Clayton and Aly sported matching gawdy sunglasses. Undaunted, Tucker protested, "We're not too proud to celebrate St. Patrick's Day on this program....It hasn't impaired my dignity!" With a slight smile, Clayton comically replied, "I gave that up a long time ago!"]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 8:49 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 3:22/4:12)

***FNC vid via Mediaite.