F&F: Late P.M. Fun

Gretchen/Ingraham “catfight”; Brian’s Talkers profile; and Gretchen’s “sexual photos” promise. Fox & Friends memorable moments post-Memorial Day. Late: But, fun–and, for the record.

Gretchen/Ingraham “catfight”: Rowrr! Tuesday F&F co-host Gretchen Carlson got off on the wrong foot as she introduced Laura Ingraham, her former “Ice-Off!” dance-off rival and F&F regular contributor.* Introducing Ingraham, Gretchen remarked, “Now it’s time to bring in Laura Ingraham as we do every week. Although it’s not always on this day, is it, Laura?”

Smiling, a sarcastic Ingraham responded, “Um, what’s today? Is it Tuesday?” Bemused, Gretchen answered, “Tuesday.” Seemingly, slightly  miffed at Gretchen’s inadvertent dis, a grinning Ingraham retorted, “Yes, it is Tuesday. Gretchen, come on, come on! I’m now, I feel really, really sad now. I’ve got to.” Clueless, Gretchen queried, “Why?”

Then, as a slightly miffed Ingraham playfully rose from her seat as if to go, co-anchor Steve Doocy interjected, “[I]t’s our Tuesday girl, Laura Ingr[aham]. Hey, sit down! Sit down.” Smiling sheepishly, co-host Brian Kilmeade added, “Laura, come on!”

Throwing her hands up in the air, an embarrassed Gretchen unconvincingly declared, “Well, I’d, I’m sorry. I thought that that kept it fresh.” Her eyes narrowing, Ingraham riposted, “Wait, weren’t you hosting on the weekend last time I checked?” Chuckling, Brian interposed, “Ah, ha, ha! That hurt!”

Seemingly, trying to prove to Ingraham that her jaunty jab did not hurt, Gretchen emphatically replied, “Yes! Thank you very much. I love Saturdays and Sundays.”

Shaking her head, a smiling Ingraham answered, “Me, too. I’m just teasing.”

Of course, the “B Team,” the F&F Weekend crew of Clayton Morris, Dave Briggs, and Alisyn Camerota–or, now, it it Molly Line or Ainsley Earhardt–might find scant humor in Ingraham’s acidic broadside.

Kilmeade’s Profile: Wednesday Brian celebrated his first year as solo anchor of his radio show, Kilmeade & Friends, formerly known as Brian & the Judge (Napolitano). Perhaps, fittingly, Brian graced the cover of the talk media trade publication Talkers and was featured inside. On F&F Wednesday, Brian was praised by both Steve and Gretchen for the distinct honor: when Gretchen lauded him for his “whole full-page article” on page 12, Brian waggishly remarked that on a following page he had “absolutely no clothes on”: Mercifully, Talkers readers are in fact spared.** Congrats, Brian!

Gretchen’s “Sexual Photos” Promise: “I don’t know about you guys but I can unequivocally say that I have not taken sexual photos.”*** In her colorful commentary with Brian and Steve about “Weinergate” as F&F began, Gretchen so ridiculed Rep. Anthony Weiner’s tergiversation about whether the arousal shot heard ricocheting around the Beltway was his own. An hour later, she similarly twice more emphatically declared her own abstinence from taking such pics to her co-hosts.

After Gretchen did so, Steve went one step further, asserting, “I haven’t taken any pictures of myself in my underwear and I don’t know that anybody has taken any of me.”**** Then, pointing his finger at Brian, he teasingly taunted, “Brian, can you say the same thing?” After a brief moment of silence (comedic or not), Brian responded, “Yes. Thank you.” Laughing heartily, Gretchen interjected, “Uh, oh!”

Unlike Brian, Gretchen did not “see” Steve’s statement. I.e., she remained mute as to her not knowing that anybody had taken any “sexual photos” of her. Again, an oversight or simply smarts from Bill O’Reilly’s Culture Warrior?

*Fox & Friends – 05/31/11 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 06/01/11 (@ 6:32 a.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 06/02/11 – (@ 6:05 a.m. ET)

****Ibid. @ 7:07 a.m. ET.

O’Reilly’s Warriors: Culturally Illiterate?

Gretchen & Margaret: No spanking alllowed! Really? O’Reilly Factor “Culture Warriors” Gretchen Carlson and Margaret Hoover went to war woefully unprepared Thursday. During their segment, both Gretchen and Margaret did know the facts of their lead story (about a Connecticut high school teacher who had been charged with sexual assault for purportedly spanking an obstreperous female student) but not the applicable law.

When host Bill O’Reilly had introduced the spanking story and his blond battling beauties had recited the relevant facts, host Bill O’Reilly asked, “Do we know in Connecticut public schools whether corporal punishment is allowed?* Emphatically, Gretchen asserted, “Corporal punishment is not allowed in any school system anymore. No way!” Equally confident, a beaming Margaret declared, “Corporal punishment is not allowed. No, not allowed! Not allowed.”

Unconvinced by their bluster, O’Reilly replied, “In some school systems, it is.” Rendered uncertain, Gretchen responded, “Seriously?” Smiling, Margaret scoffed, “No, no, no. Bill O’Reilly, when you taught in Miami, they allowed you to hit children.”

Losing his own certitude, O’Reilly answered, “I could be wrong on this but I don’t think I am: in some school districts, corporal punishment is allowed. I can’t imagine it’s allowed in Connecticut but it is allowed in some school districts. So, we don’t know that: we don’t know whether it’s allowed or not.”

Subsequently, when O’Reilly and Gretchen tried to move on to discuss the particular Connecticut case, Margaret persisted, “Let’s be very clear. It is very unlikely that anyone anywhere in the United States teachers are allowed to beat children in the classroom. Unallowed. Corporal punishment is probably not allowed.” She continued, “The most that a teacher should ever be able to do is grab a kid by the wrist and take them to the principal’s office. This is totally unacceptable.”

Realizing that Margaret was merely opining, O’Reilly remarked, “We’ll clarify tomorrow. I’ll clarify tomorrow about the corporal punishment.”

Unfortunately, both O’Reilly and his “Culture Warriors” were unprepared to clarify the most salient issue of the story, i.e., the legality of corporal punishment in the Connecticut school system. If they had merely Googled the matter, they would have quickly learned that 20 states allow corporal punishment but Connecticut does not. To make matters worse, their negligence was all the more acute since the topic has come to the fore with the recent introduction (June 29, 2010) of the “Ending of Corporal Punishment Act” by U.S. Rep. Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY).

O’Reilly’s “Culture Warriors” Thursday: Unread and unarmed.

*O’Reilly Factor – 08/05/10 (@8:30 p.m. ET)