F&F Embarrasses Ailes?

May 10, 2014

Steve Doocy: “Shepard must be happy!” Almost two years to the day that Studio B anchor Shepard Smith announced that he could not show the Trampoline Bear vid anymore, Fox & Friends resurrected the odious decade-old footage of a black bear falling from a tree onto a trampoline and subsequently doing a hard head-first plunge into an unforgiving ground.* To make matters worse, they ran the seemingly sadistic footage twice.**

Perchance, it was the F&F producer who has an apparent fixation on the “wussification of America” that made the callous call. Regardless, it must embarrass FNC chief Roger Ailes who seems to have tried to embrace a more animal-friendly approach with glowing coverage of his now deceased friend‘s favored Westminister Dog Show at Madison Square Garden and his underlings’ F&F fun, informative F&F segments with famed wildlife advocate Jack Hanna–not to mention, their whilom “Good Shepard‘s” “Cool Critters” stories.

It’s time for Shine to have Ailes’ back re animal rights. And, it’s time for his rogue producers to end the Trampoline Bear airings. It’s been over ten years since it was news: Now, it should be history!

*Fox & Friends – 05/01/14 (@ 6:00 a.m. ET).

**Fox & Friends – 05/01/14 (@ 8:00 a.m. ET).

[Author’s aside: Re Steve Doocy‘s Shep quote, supra, he said that at the beginning of F&F‘s May Day show when co-host Brian Kilmeade joked that Russia had said that that “bear on the trampoline is now [America's] ticket to space.”]

Sambora Strums Ainsley

May 3, 2014

Tucker Carlson: “There was a lot of touching…It was getting a little steamy! We cut away at the end.” Blond beauty FNC anchor Ainsley Earhardt had rocker Richie Sambora all hot and bothered this morning seemingly. In fact, by the end of her interview of the lead guitarist of Bon Jovi, she appeared to have the bad boy all primed for a romp in her perfumed “Bed of Roses” at Churchill Downs.

In the bumper promo preceding Ainsley’s interview of Sambora, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman cooed, “Our Ainsley Earhardt is at Churchill Downs. A very special guest: who’s that?”* As the camera panned to Ainsley and the Bon Jovi rocker, Sambora amorously caressed Ainsley’s bare left shoulder: Beaming, Ainsley animatedly answered, “I never thought I would say this but I’m getting warmed up by Richie Sambora.” Embracing her tightly, Sambora remarked, “Wooh! I’m getting warmed up, too, Baby!” As Anna chuckled off-camera, a reddening Ainsley turned to Sambora, exclaiming, “Thank you!”

After the commercial break, Anna and her co-hosts, Tucker Carlson and Clayton Morris, introduced the Kentucky Derby segment. Segueing to Ainsley’s interview, Anna remarked, “Our very own Ainsley Earhardt looking good! She’s doing some star-gazing right now, though: Who’s there with you, Ainsley?” Still in the embrace of Sambora, Ainsley replied, “One of our Fox favorite celebrities, Richie Sambora is here with me. Anna, you’re looking good in your hat.” Turning to Sambora, she added, “And, you look good, too!” Looking into her eyes, Sambora responded, “Oh, sweetheart! No, you look beautiful! Honestly, Ainz!”

Before the split-screen ended, viewers were treated to the priceless reactions of the co-hosts: Tucker’s jaw literally dropped and his eyes rolled as he looked at Anna in incredulity. Turning toward Tucker, a similarly disbelieving Anna smilingly arched her eyebrows, gnashed her teeth, and looked downward. Meanwhile, Clayton managed merely a chuckle as tried to look away.

During the interview itself, the mutual admirers discussed Sambora’s Barnstable Brown (B.B.) performance, his donation of his custom-made Swarovski guitar played at the B.B. to a diabetes charity, and their shared diabetes concerns. Before the confab was over, Ainsley smilingly noted, “US Weekly just voted you and Heather Locklear, your ex-wife–you have a daughter together–voted you the happiest exes. What’s the secret?” When Sambora replied that one has to keep the child’s interest first and that he thought he and his ex were better friends now than we they were married, Ainsley answered, “Good!”

Subsequently, Ainsley mentioned Santora’s designing of clothes, giving him the opportunity to plug his companies, Nikki Rich (women) and Chrome (men): After doing so and picking his Derby horse (California Chrome), he casually commented, “But, I did, I did buy you something, Baby!” As Santora reached into his back pocket, a flattered Ainsley asked, “What did you buy me?” “From the gift shop,” intoned Sambora.

Flushed, Ainsley queried, “You bought this for me?” Boldly, Sambora replied, “Yes, I did, Darling!” As he handed what appeared to be a short white skirt (with a powder blue Churchill Downs print), an appreciative Ainsley responded, “Vineyard Vine(s), this is the official designer of the Derby. How beautiful is that! Right up my alley!”

“[My] pleasure!” answered Sambora. And it was to be. As Ainsley displayed his tribute to her for the camera, Sambora reached forward and downward toward her blue-dress-clad hip. Patting Ainsley’s hip thrice, Sambora slyly said, “Hey, it matches your thing.” Elated, Ainsley answered, “How great! Thank you so much!…Thanks, Richie! And, thanks for being there with us today!”

As Ainsley hugged him anew, Sambora aptly exclaimed, “My pleasure!”

When the beaming Ainsley segued to her three co-hosts, Anna took the toss: Holding up her ring finger a la Beyonce, Anna scolded, “Richie, easy! We know you like your blondes but she does have a ring on her finger.” Turning to Clayton, she laughed, “I think he’s really liking his Ainsley Earhardt today.”

Not willing to cast such stones too hard, Clayton jested, “There’s a lot of touching going on down there at the Derby. Well you know why: The mint juleps have been flowing since 7 a.m.”

Holding Sambora close, an unrepentant Ainsley riposted, “I’m not letting go!” Concurring, Sambora exclaimed, “I’m not letting go either!”

Nor were Ainsley’s F&FW colleagues: Not surprisingly, meteorologist Janice Dean was intent on joining in on their fun. As the show concluded with producers giving a shout-out to Ainsley’s hatmaker Frank Olive Hats (with two pics of its hats atop Ainsley), Anna declared, “It’s no wonder that Richie Sambora was putting the moves on our Ainsley Earhardt: She looked so good out there the last couple of days at the Derby.”

Interjecting, meteorologist Janice Dean exclaimed, “Where’s the picture, where was the picture of Richie Sambora?” Almost unresponsively, Clayton commented, “He was pretty close there.” Not satisfied, Janice demanded, “Like what was he doing?” Snuggling up to Clayton playfully with both of her arms around his shoulders and raising her right knee toward his body, Anna chuckled, “The whole interview was like this.” Concurring, Clayton chuckled, “It was like this. ‘Don’t stop.'”

Stirring the proverbial pot, Tucker chimed, “There was some touching.” Racily, Janice rejoined, “Some touching?” Smiling goatishly, Tucker answered, “There was a lot of touching, actually.” With mock concern, Janice queried, “It was TV friendly, though?

In a denouement of the F&FW fun du jour, Tucker riposted, “Oh, yeah! No, it was totally within bounds but it was getting a little steamy! We cut away at the end.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 05/03/14 (@ 9:26 a.m. ET).

Outnumbered: Outmanned?

April 30, 2014

Girls, girls, girls: “You just submit from the first moment!” Fox News beauties Harris Faulkner, Sandra Smith, Kimberly Guilfoyle, and Jedediah Bila kicked off their inaugural show Outnumbered with token troglodyte Tucker Carlson of Fox & Friends Weekend fame Monday.

As FNC’s femme fatale showcase started, Sandra introduced the “big reveal” Tucker and Harris revealed that he lived with a lot of women: Chuckling,the #OneLuckyGuy du jour remarked, “I live with exactly this number four: So, this is like dinner at my house. Yes, I’m in a defensive crouch already.” Cocking her head jauntily, Sandra queried, “So, how does it feel to sit in the hot seat, Tucker? He laughed, “Well, you just submit from the first moment: you already give up. So, if you begin at that point, you can’t lose!”

And, for the most part, Tucker did just that. But, to keep the boys watching FNC’s “View,” Tucker took the view of most adolescent boys when it came to a sexy teacher who allegedly gave one of her fifteen-year-old male students a lap dance for his birthday in class. Introducing his segment, Tucker riantly remarked, “I think [that] legitimate opinion divides whether this was appropriate for the classroom or not.”* As his female co-hosts looked at him in utter disbelief, he declared, “There are people out there who believe that there ought to be criminal sanctions brought against this woman. And, I think that’s deranged because…there’s no victim here!”

Outnumbered: But, not outmanned! Tucker: Boys will be boys! The ladies were almost in control!

[Author's aside: More estrogen friendly, Brian Kilmeade was the boy in the middle the following day and today. His only guy gaffe: caviling over whether cheerleading was a sport or not.]

*Outnumbered – 04/28/14 (12:49 p.m. ET).

Jenna’s “Happening Now”: Her Frogman Curse?

April 28, 2014

My husband and I are expecting our first child…in early fall. Friday, Happening Now co-host Jenna Lee confirmed what many of her viewers were expecting: the auburn-tressed beauty’s growing girth was not necessarily diet-induced.

Before announcing her gravid state [vid via J$P], she read a Tweet from a fan who asked, “Is it me or is Jenna Lee putting on a little weight in the tummy?” Turning to her co-anchor Jon Scott, she teased, “Jon, do you want to answer this one?” After he wisely refused to do so, Anna read a few more audience questions as to whether she was pregnant. In answer, Jenna joyfully remarked, “I can confirm that my husband [Leif Babin] and I are expecting our first child: It’s very much “happening now”: But, it will be happening in early fall.

Interjecting, Jon joked, “He’s [Jenna's hubby Leif (pic)] former Navy SEAL….Did they teach him how to deal with a pregnant woman?” Chuckling, Jenna replied, “I can’t reveal all their…top secret training, Jon, but I do know that the SEAL’s have something that they call the frogman curse–which I think I can talk about–which is that a lot of them end up having little girls.” When Jon queried, “Should our viewers take that as a hint, Anna answered, “[N]o….We don’t know the gender: we’re not going to know, and it’ll, it’ll just be breaking news when it happens.”

Congratulations, Jenna and Leif! A little girl: Frogman curse? Nah, frogman blessing!

H/t, J$.

 

Missing Aly: I Plan to Come Back

April 27, 2014

Camerota and Chetry back together again: “That would be a blast.” Former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota has been reaching out to her fervid fans and letting them know that she may have left the FNC building but she is ready for an encore. In a fab flurry of Tweets, the formerly Twitter-phobic queen of the curvy couch is loving on her acolytes in an unprecedented fashion. And, the too oft censored Camerota has a website for them and it ain’t FoxandFriends.com: It’s the one and only alisyncamerota.com.

Last month, the Bristol Bay Babe roiled the intrigue, when an admirer Tweeted, “Where ARE you??!”: Coyly, Aly answered, “At the moment CVS.” Subsequently, another devotee wrote, “What kind of dastardly scheme is this? Where are you going, Alisyn?” Deftly, she jested, “It’s quite nefarious.” When another asked why she had left FNC and whether it had been her former America’s News Headquarter’s co-host Bill Hemmer’s fault, she joked, “Exactly! @BillHemmer = diva.” Fanning her devotee’s desire all the more, she later Tweeted, “For anyone wondering what I’ve been up to…: Included in her missive was an pulchritudinous photo of the bathing beauty posing like a Hollywood starlet with a sexy come-hither look.

Less than two weeks ago, Aly continued to stoke the fires of her fervent followers. When a true-blue F&FW fan of hers Tweeted, “You and @kiranchetrytv should team up again. You two were great.” Quickening the zeal of such votaries from the golden age of F&FW, she teased, “That would be a blast:” When another devotee chimed, “Bring back Julian Phillips so you’ll have someone to pick on ;),” Aly artfully answered, “Another good idea.”

Later, the queen of the curvy couch gave her restless troops a semi-serious message. When a soldier in her amorous army asked, “My queen, we miss u so much. any marching orders for the nation of camerota?,” she declared, “I preach patience — pizza for all!

The pizza sounds good, Aly: But, your return would be even better! Hurry back–and bring the comely Kiran Chetry with you!

[Author's aside: Re the title, supra, when an Aly Twitter follower yesterday remarked, " hope all is well..will you ever come back to TV so we can see your beautiful smile again?," she answered, Thanks! I plan to...."]

 

Kiran: Back on Fox News!

April 16, 2014

At least, for a few seconds. Yesterday, former FNC anchor Kiran Chetry reappeared on the network that made her famous–and that infamously “fired” her. Last night, on the Kelly File, the Nepalese beauty was included in a montage of  host Megyn Kelly’s snippets (concerning View co-host Jenny McCarthy‘s position on vaccinations):  In a CNN clip, Kiran is shown for about five seconds during her American Morning interview of the autism activism advocate.* Even though Kiran was not acknowledged by a chyron or Megyn herself, it was still a delight for Kiran’s loyal Fox & Friends fans to see their fave fox back on FNC–even if but for a moment or two and on vid–especially, since she has been virtually M.I.A. as of late.

Cheering her acolytes all the more, Kiran’s karma may be looking bright anew: If so, it would be a veritable “blast from the past.” When her whilom Fox & Friends Weekend co-host, Alisyn Camerota, was told earlier yesterday (before the Kelly Files aired) “you and @kiranchetry should team up again: You two were great,” Aly responded, “That would be a blast rt”! One that Fox News would well deserve since its Executive VP of Programming, Bill Shine, inanely ushered both FNC fan favorites, Kelly and Aly, unceremoniously out the FNC door.

Kiran and Aly Kat together again? Foxes and Friends!

* Kelly File – 04/15/14 (@ 9:44 p.m. ET) and Fox News Insider vid – 04/16/14 (@ 00:45/05:00).

Kooiman Struts: Huddy Subs

April 14, 2014

Svelte “Boston Strong” Anna: I would love to hit 3:30. Toned and tanned, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman is ready to “strut her stuff” as she runs the storied 26.2-mile run in Beantown on April 21. In a Tweet, the erstwhile AFAA-certified fitness instructor announced that not only will she run the 118th Boston Marathon but also she will cover it. When asked by her F&FW co-anchor Clayton Morris yesterday what her goal in time was, she replied, “I would love to hit 3:30 (three hours thirty minutes): Pulling her towhead tresses from her lambent orbs, she cooed, “My best time is 3:27:23 but I just don’t think I’ll get it.” As if any of her acolytes’ eyes will be on the time clock.*

Apparently, Anna will give her full concentration to the Boston Marathon next Monday and will hand over her spot on the curvy couch this weekend to the still sexy blonde from F&FW yesteryear, Juliet Huddy: A few weeks ago (March 27), Juliet Tweeted, “[I] will be anchoring Fox and Friends weekend of Apr 19th.”

Good luck, Anna! Welcome back, Juliet!

Fox & Friends Weekend – 04/13/14 (@ 8:42 a.m. ET).

Clayton’s Family Secrets

April 12, 2014

Morris revealed: “I’m nervous about it.”* Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris got to know himself even better this morning–if that’s possible. And, Clayton’s fans probably still wanted to know a few more of his family secrets.

Promoting an upcoming segment on himself at the top of the second hour, Clayton teased “all kinds of crazy stuff about my history and my family.”** Before the really “good stuff,” Clayton and his co-anchors, Tucker Carlson and Anna Kooiman, gave author Yvette Corporon an opportunity to discuss her book (When the Cypress Whispers) and to give ancestry research tips: Then, she returned for a block on Clayton’s “amazing” family history, entitled “Clayton Revealed: An Inside Look at His Family Lineage.”***

Providing Clayton with a freebie for the curvy couch, Corporon declared, “Your family goes way, way, way back….Your earliest relative…we found was in 1659 in France, Peter Chastain: He was…a surgeon/barber…[who]… settled here [United States].” Much to Clayton’s surprise and amusement, she announced, “The next relative we find for yours [sic] is the Reverend John “Ten Shillings Bell” Chastain….He was your five-times…great grandfather: He was a Baptist preacher, and his family was forced to move from Virginia to South Carolina due to religious persecution. Elaborating, she stated, “He was a great speaker: Now the reason they called him “Ten Shillings Bell” was because he was such a brilliant speaker that his voice resonated like a bell and a bell back then cost…ten shillings.” Continuing, she said, “We also found…Absolom Hooper….He was your four times great grandfather. Now he was in the Revolutionary War: Not only that but he was shot twice by a musket ball, once in the arm [and] once in the leg; then, he was taken prisoner; escaped; taken prisoner again; and then fought on the lines until peace was declared.” [Photo of graves of Absolom Hooper (1757-1845) and his wife Sarah Hooper (1762-1856) ran]. She concluded, “We also have for you Calvin Chastain: Now, he was your great-great grandfather, and he was a farmer….And, we found the Census from 1860 when he was 39 years old and he lived with his wife and children in Independence, Arkansas.” [Photo of Calvin Chastain and his apparent wife and 1860 U.S. Federal Census - Calvin F. Chastain (MyHeritage) aired.]

In reply to Corporon’s revelations, Clayton remarked, “Wow!…I knew we had a strong history to Arkansas: A lot of the family lived in Arkansas. So, unbelievable!” Inquisitively, Corporon responded, “Did you know that you had a surgeon/barber in your family as well?” Clayton jested, “No, I didn’t know that you could have that profession.”

Subsequently, after thanking Corporon and the researchers, Clayton eagerly asked, “Can you hand the documents over after the segment?” After getting two blocks to plug her book, Corporon unsurprisingly answered, “Absolutely! All yours: Framed!”

No worries, Clayton: Just another F&FW perk!

*F&FW – 04/12/14 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET).

**Ibid.

***Ibid at 7:31 a.m. ET.

Update: Clayton-family-secrets-segment vid: H/t J$P.

Kate Bouldan Preggers!

April 11, 2014

And, her Mikey likes it! Today, New Day co-host Kate Bolduan confirmed to her viewers that she is indeed pregnant with her first child. In the first block of the final hour, guest news reader John Berman closed his headline news stories segment, saying, “And, finally, crossing just moments ago on People.com, I want you to take a look at this [photo of People.com article entitled, "Kate Bolduan Expecting First Child"].* Jesting, he deadpanned, “CNN currently working to confirm this story: And, by that, I mean, Kate Bolduan, tell us everything!”

As applause erupted on the set, a chagrined Kate replied, “What is there to tell! My husband and I are expecting our first child.” She continued, “And, we finally are at a place where we are very excited to share the news with everybody.” Looking over at her co-anchor Chris Cuomo, she added, “And, very thankful because you all without probably even knowing it put up with some pretty gnarly morning sickness.”

Disabusing Kate of that notion apace, Chris riposted, “No. We’re all painfully aware.” Turning to Kate and embracing her with a kiss, Chris assured, “And, it’s worth it! Worth it! Congratulations!” Bussing him back with a hug, she replied, “I love you.”

As Kate beamed and reddened, Chris turned to the camera in a quick “shout out” to Kate’s hubby Michael Gershenson [pic and bio]: As if to assuage any jealousy from Kate’s hubby, Chris exclaimed, “Congratulations, Michael!” Then, he heartily sent out a feigned embrace with both arms around Michael and a closed-eyed kiss on the mouth of the poor man for “good measure.”

Turning to Kate anew, Chris declared, “We’re so happy!”

Indeed. Congratulations, Kate, to you and Michael!

*New Day – 04/11/14 (@ 8:12 a.m. ET).

Big Bad Bob Explains Brace

April 7, 2014

Five’s Beckel: “Some jerk outside starts talking about my politics.” Yesterday, The Five‘s boisterous, bumptious co-host Bob Beckel appeared on FNC anchor Howard Kurtz’s Media Buzz. And, the old New York brawler proudly explained to his Five fans that he’s not afraid to rumble–and how he got that new brace on his right hand.

Introducing his taped interview with Bob in a segment entitled “Beckel vs. The Right (vid),” Kurtz remarked, “Anyone who watches The Five knows that Bob Beckel is outnumbered on that show: The former Democratic strategist carries the liberal banner at five o’clock and has the scars to show for it. But, I had to change my first question the moment I saw him in New York.”

Subsequently, the on-vid Kurtz welcomes Bob, remarking, “I can’t help but notice that your hand is bandaged. Did you finally get fed up at the Five and take a swing at somebody?

Shaking his head with a slight smile, Bob answered, “No, I didn’t! I didn’t. Somebody gave me a little heat outside!”

Wanting his viewers to see Bob’s brace closer, Kurtz said, “Let’s see that! Let’s see it!”

Raising his right hand high in response, Bob displayed his braced and bandaged hand. Re his injury, Bob remarked, “Well, it’s, it’s like this. I mean, so I got dislocated fingers.”

Continuing his anecdote like a seasoned raconteur, Bob elaborated, “Some jerk outside starts talking about my politics: He can’t stand it, right….It happens to me all the time: But, this guy kept pushing me and pushing me and pushing me so I gave him a little tap back. And that was it. And, then I dislocated my fingers–which proves that you never want to fight, right.”

Concluding his tale with a smile, Bob declared, “And, I’m too old for this stuff, Howard! I mean…it’s no good!”

But, Bob, it does make a good story.

“Trashy, Porn-Star Looking Chick, Heather”?

April 6, 2014

Childers hits back hard: “Dana McCall, I’m…glad you aren’t my dentist.” Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Childers was not amused, in the least, by the diss of her fellow North Carolinian, Dr. Dana McCall, Thursday morning: The Raleigh cosmetic dentist had Tweeted (Childers’ cap1), “Flipped by FOXNEWS and saw the trashy, porn-star looking chick, Heather, who used to be at News14. When did THAT happen? Wow. Really….bad.”

Responding on Facebook to McCall’s disparaging remark, Heather wrote, “Normally, I wouldn’t comment about something like this but because I share several mutual friends with this person, Dana McCall, I felt compelled to do so. Subsequently, she shared his Facebook profile and his business website address with her FB friends. Before adding another McCall link, she concluded, “Dana McCall, I’m at least glad you aren’t my dentist. I don’t know you, but if I have offended you in some way, I’m sorry. Would you want this said about your wife or daughter?”

In a later FB post Thursday afternoon, Heather penned, “Hey! Thanks for all the kind comments! I didn’t post that tweet with that intention….[But, when] I discovered the person who posted it knows some of my friends it surprised me.” Dismissively, she declared, “Even on my worst “bad hair” day I don’t think [that] I look like a trashy porn-star :-).” Following up in another post, she acerbically added, “Sure, sometimes it gets to you: But THEY are the joke. Not you.”

Later, in an evening FB missive, the true-blue FNC co-host Heather announced, “‘Fair & Balanced’ Update. He apologized and I accept :-) Thank you Dana. Past my bedtime! See everyone at 5 am ET tomorrow! Goodnight.” And, so he had, less than twelve hours after his offense–probably after being bombarded on his FB page, his website, and his phone by irate Heather fans during the day: On Twitter (Childer’s cap2), the good doctor took his medicine, Tweeting, Hey, @HeatherChilders. Sorry about that tweet. Congratulations on your successes.” However, the cosmetic dentist apparently did some cosmetic surgery on his own mouth, at least, on his Twitter page: he deleted both his offensive Tweet about Heather and his subsequent apology to her.

Early Start: Much too Early!

April 2, 2014

Last September, Early Start co-host John Berman cursed the extra pre-dawn hour when CNN added an extra early hour (4:00 a.m. ET) to his program with Zoraida Sambolin: Subsequently, CNN shortened the show to begin at the more godly hour of 5:00 a.m. ET. Now that CNN has had an upsurge in ratings due to its all-consuming coverage of the star-crossed plight of the passengers of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, CNN has added the 4 a.m. back to ES this week. Perhaps, not too surprisingly, the salty JB is CNN’s happy warrior as he sits with his new co-host Christine Romans.

Will CNN continue to be the early bird? If so, could it ever “steal” FNC’s worm?

Comely Camerota: CNN’s Catch?

March 31, 2014

Bathing beauty Aly: “For anyone wondering what I’ve been up to….” Today, Alisyn Camerota, the quondam queen of Fox & Friends Weekend‘s curvy couch got her fans attention with that Twitter tease that featured her in a sexy bathing beauty pose. She may have been more demure than her daring ’80’s bikini shot but the Bristol Bay Babe was just as alluring with her sexy come-hither pose. The catch? The former F&FW fox has jumped ship to CNN according to FTVLive.

For Fox & Friends viewers, Aly’s move should come as no surprise. FNC’s Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine has seemingly given his erstwhile best anchor the shaft: When he ditched Gretchen Carlson on F&F weekday, it appeared that the long-suffering three-time co-anchor of F&FW and frequent guest-host of F&F would finally get her due. Instead, the same genius that chose Gretch to be E. D. Hill‘s replacement on F&F over the eminently superior Kiran Chetry decided to go outside of the FNC family and choose Barbara Walter’s View outcast, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, rather than F&F fan favorite Aly.

Hopefully, CNN Prez Jeff Zucker will put Aly on against Lis in the mornings to jump start his moribund morning show New Day. Of course, Aly will be at a distinct disadvantage having to contend against Shine’s FNC juggernaut trio that also includes F&F Everyman Steve Doocy and Puckish wit Brian Kilmeade. Hopefully, Aly will join a cast including current Early Start co-host, wag John Berman, and another engaging gal or guy during the New Day time period: I.e., if the proverbial CNN stars are aligned propitiously, ND co-anchor Kate Bouldan, Michaela Pereira, and Chris Cuomo will find new places on Ted Turner’s network and Aly can usher in a new dawn to CNN.

Congratulations, Aly! And, good luck!

H/t, J$P!

Slurring Kyra: I’m Married to a Robertson

March 26, 2014

Phillips confused or revealing hubby John Roberts‘ real surname? CNN correspondent Kyra Phillips had an “oops” moment during her New Day report this morning as she shared her taped interview of Duck Dynasty stars, Willie and Korie Robertson.* In the clip, Kyra began the confab, shamelessly trying to ingratiate herself with the Robertsons: She declared, “Alright, so I might as well just break the ice and let ya’ll know we have a lot in common.** Aptly, a surprised Korie queried, “Oh, really?”

As Korie and Willie looked on in bemusement, a slightly slurring Kyra answered, “Oh, yeah! Now I know my way awound [sic] a weapon or two but I’m married to a Robertson [italics added for emphasis]. Appearing perplexed but nodding their heads in unison, as any civil Southerner might, Willie “aahed” and Korie softly replied, “Oh, wow.”

Eagerly, Kyra exclaimed, “So, are we family?” Turning toward Willie for his take, Korie tersely answered, “Probably.” Hoping to end the awkwardness, Willie jested, “I know he’s not kin to me because he hasn’t asked me for money!”

Here’s to you, Mrs. Robertson: Confused or revealing, you do make CNN fun!

*New Day – 03/26/14 (@ 8:33 a.m. ET).

**Kyra Phillips vid – 03/26/14 (00:17/05:30).

[Author's aside: N.B. Whether Kyra and John (FNC's senior national correspondent) have actually tied the knot or simply deem themselves married seems to be an open question.]

DJ JD: “Love in an Elevator”!

March 24, 2014

Janice Dean: [Steven Tyler and I] had a wonderful date afterwards! FNC’s “Dancing Machine” [vid] meteorologist Janice Dean revealed to her Fox & Friends Weekend fans that she “used to date rock stars.”* No, not Steven Tyler of Aerosmith: Really!

Introducing one of her fabulous weather segments with that fun fact (March 9, 2014), Janice subsequently showed a photo of herself cheek-to-cheek with the bad boy himself, Steven Tyler.* As F&FW co-hosts Anna Kooiman, Clayton Morris, and Tucker Carlson looked on in disbelief at the pic of JD looking like a young Brooke Shields next to Liv Tyler‘s randy old man, Janice exclaimed, “No I didn’t ‘date’ him!” Belying her assertion almost immediately, Janice continued, ” But, I used to be a classic rock DJ back in the day when I was in my twenties when I had a cool job….I would love for him to sign that photo because we had a wonderful date afterwards!”

Intrigued, Tucker asked, “What year was that, Janice?” JD replied, “That was Get a Grip: So, that was ’93, and I was twenty-three years old! And, I have a lot more of these types of photos of rock stars that I’ve dated that I will post on my Facebook page!”

Pruriently, Clayton asked, “Well, is it a long list, Janice?”

Ignoring his concupiscent query, Janice playfully responded, singing “Love in an elevator! Livin’ it up as we’re goin’ down!” As Anna giggled, Clayton chuckled, “I knew there was a fun past to Janice!”

Janice: A fun past–and a fun present!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/09/14 (@ 9:39 a.m. ET).

**Fox5 NY (Youtube vid) – 09/28/07: 4:50/12:08.

[Author's aside: Pics of Janice Dean as CHEZ FM (Ottawa) "Sunscoop Reporter"; with Peter Frampton (after she asked him to autograph a poster saying, "Here's to another 20 years in your bedroom!"); with Travis Tritt; and with her bikini.]

Pinup Maria: She’s No “Angel”!

March 23, 2014

Molina: “The ride of my life….I passed out!” Flushed FNC meteorologist Maria Molina looked like a young Hollywood starlet who had just enjoyed “one wild ride” after she took the “ride of her life” with her Blue Angel escort.

Sharing her exciting personal encounter with one of America’s elite aviators on Fox & Friends First Wednesday, “Cosmo‘s Caliente Latina” gushed, “I had the incredible honor of flying with the Blue Angels and the experience blew my mind! Introducing her with footage of her flight, Maria exclaimed, “I knew it was going to be awesome. And, take a look for yourself at the ride of my life!”*

Subsequently, vid ran of Maria’s fearless navy flyer taking her on a fast steep climb, reaching six plus “g’s”: As he encouraged her on, Maria fainted and her helmeted head hit the cockpit glass hard. Coming too groggily, she reached frantically for the side of the cockpit, exclaiming, “I pa…I passed out!” When her sympathetic pilot answered, “Yeah. How you feeling?,” Maria repeated, “I passed out! What happened?” As she caught her breath, her Blue Angel asked, “We…pulled…some ‘g’ there: But, you back with me now?” Still light-headed, an ashen Maria reiterated, “Yeah! I passed out!”

As her Blue Angel clip continued with more aerial acrobatics to follow, voice-over Maria intoned, “So, what’s it like sitting in the cockpit of an F-18 jet? Well, it’s one wild ride!” As her “wild ride” ended and her plane taxied down the runway, on-vid Maria intoned, “Perfect landing!” When the cockpit cover opened for her to emerge, Maria look radiantly ruddy, demurely doe-eyed, and sensually smiling as if she were a pinup that once adorned America’s fearless fighter jets.

Maria Molina may be no “Angel”: But, the the navy boys seemed mighty happy to finally have their favorite pinup on their plane again–and, in person!

*Fox & Friends First – 03/19/14 (@ 4:22 a.m. ET). [N.B. Vid footage on F&F - contains same clip as F&FF.]

Aly Tears Up: “My Last Day”

March 14, 2014

“Censored” Camerota’s “Orwellian Twist”: A very special day.”Not! In her America’s News HQ tease today on Happening Now, Alisyn Camerota promised, “Today is a very special day for us: we hope that you’ll tune in at the top of the hour!”* For those who did tune in as Aly asked, it was anything but–special.

Of course, Aly’s fans knew the end was near. On Monday, TVNewser reported that her tenure at Fox News would conclude sometime this month. On Tuesday, Judge Napolitano clued Aly’s acolytes into the fact that her departure would possibly be this week when he rhetorically asked Aly if he would be on with her again, exclaiming, “Mother of God!” Today, the writing on Belshazzar’s wall needed no interpreting when Aly promised “a very special day.”

When America’s News Headquarters began to conclude this afternoon, Aly’s co-anchor Bill Hemmer announced, “And, today marks the end–of a wonderful run for our friend and our colleague, Alisyn Lane Cameota.”** As tears began to well up in Aly’s eyes, Bill continued, “I tried to talk her out of it: Oh, I tried! She’s leaving us after sixteen years here at the Fox News channel but she leaves us laughing because that’s what Aly does!”

On cue, a collage of innocuous Aly FNC clips ran: Unfortunately, it appeared to have been cobbled together at the last minute by an intern who had little knowledge of Aly’s tenure on the “Fair and Balanced” network. Bizarrely, there was no real footage of Aly with her Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts during her remarkable three stints on the show: Vintage Aly video with her comeliest of co-hosts Kiran Chetry and their stalwart colleague Kelly Wright was a no-show, e.g., the hilarious spanking tape; Aly clips with her Doublemen twins, Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs, on cam were absent, e.g., “Dave’s Farewell;” and Aly snippets with her final F&FW fellows Clayton and Tucker Carlson apparently were also left on the cutting floor, e.g., Aly’s full “Down and Dirty in the Mud.” To make matters even worse, there was no vid of Aly and the F&F week day boys, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade either (“Aly’s Back: She’s Rocking–& Ringless“).

In the strange melange today, it was almost all Aly and Bill: There was scant recognition of what Aly has meant to her fans throughout the years on Fox & Friends (weekend and week day). Aly was and is an FNC icon: Too bad, Bill Shine appears to not aptly appreciate that fact. But, Aly’s fans do.

Kudos, Aly! A job well done. You will be missed!

*Happening Now – 03/14/14 (@ 12:43 p.m. ET).

*America’s News HQ – 03/14/14 (@ 1:54 p.m. ET).

Update: J$P vid: “Alisyn Signs Off from Fox News.”

Moos’ Scat Chat Silences CNN Co-hosts

March 11, 2014

Michaela: She literally left us all speechless. Ugh! To the disgust of ND news reader Michaela Pereira and guest co-host Brooke Baldwin and the amusement of regular co-anchor Chris Cuomo, CNN correspondent Jeanne Moos plumbed the depths of the human anatomy and good taste this morning.

Introducing another wacky Moos’ story re a snake which had ingested a towel (vid), an unprepared Brooke intoned, “This next story I’m going to be watching like this [with her hands over her eyes] because it involves a very large snake…pet boa constrictor named Killer undergoing an hour-long emergency surgery….* After Moos reported on the successful surgery, she discussed other such pet stomach removals, namely, golf balls, pennies, and drugs.

Subsequently, she took it to a lower level. Snapping her towel prop into the camera as if into the viewer’s visage repeatedly, Moos remarked, “And, as for a towel, a towel is practically an appetizer compared with what people enjoy and ingest: Instead of plugging into the wall, imagine plugging an electrical chord into your very own rear socket.” In a disgusting, fulsome collage including an electrical chord, a salt shaker, an egg beater, spectacles, cassette tape, tuna can, light bulb, Barbi doll, and handgun, Moos seemed to revel ribaldly in her litany of items that had been found their way into the abyss of the alimentary canal. Signing off proudly, she proclaimed, “Jeanne Moos, CNN, New York.”

As Brooke brought her papers to her face in amazement and as Chris smiled faintly, an incredulous Michaela remarked, “She literally left us all speechless.” Repulsed, Brooked chimed, “And, people are eating breakfast! That’s all I’m saying!” In reply, Michaela exclaimed, “Sorry!”

Seemingly, similarly surprised, Chris declared, “That threw me! I thought it was a story about eating things because of the snake.” Shrugging her shoulders, Brooke said, “No, it was”: Before she could finished, Michaela interjected, “She kind of went there!”

Grinning goatishly, Chris gleefully guffawed, “Yeah! Kind of back-doored us on that one! Grimacing, Brooke aptly concluded, “Let’s move on!”

New Day: Poo Day today!

*New Day – 03/11/14 (@ 7:52 a.m. ET).

Alisyn Camerota: Departure “Bittersweet”

March 11, 2014

Staying classy. “Mother of God!,” exclaimed Judge Andrew Napolitano as he revealed beloved long-time FNC anchor Alisyn Camerota‘s imminent departure from the network to her America’s News HQ viewers today. Even though Aly had not yet announced her adieu to her audience, the Judge let them in on her “secret” at the end of his segment this afternoon.*

When the Judge finished his America’s News HQ analysis (on passenger rights on an ill-fated cruise), Aly remarked, “Judge, great to see you”: Grabbing her hand forthwith and kissing it affectionately, he animatedly remarked, “Pleasure. Aly, all the best to you! Is this the last time I’ll be on with you? Mother of God!” Not quite acknowledging his disclosure, she jested, “I doubt it! I sense [that] you’ll be at my house a lot!”

But, the erstwhile three-time queen of Fox & Friends Weekend was more forth coming to her Twitter followers earlier in the day. In a obvious nod to her fans who had Tweeted or otherwise expressed their love for her and her work after learning of her leaving Fox News, Aly Tweeted, “Wowee! Thanks for all the beautiful tweets and well wishes. It’s great to feel the impact of the work I’ve done. #bittersweet.”

Bittersweet indeed. According to the TVNewser’s scoop, Aly is expected to leave the building later this month. Encore, Aly!

*America’s News HQ – 03/11/14 (@ 1:49 p.m. ET).

Clayton’s “Queer” Echo: “Wide Stance” Rick

March 9, 2014

Tucker: “Wide stance!” Off-handed remark or odd “outing”? Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Tucker Carlson appeared to incredibly and inanely allude to the infamous Larry Craig airport restroom incident–as he, his co-hosts, Clayton Morris and Anna Kooiman, and chief meteorologist Rick Reichmuth were taught a new groove on the treadmill by Nikki Fitness‘ sexy Nikki Glor.

In a segment entitled “Treadmill Tricks: How to Make the Most of an Indoor Workout,” Nikki introduced the “Wide Walker” exercise [vid]. As they all strangely strode atop the rotating rubber, Clayton suggestively queried, “Wide walker?”* Without much apparent reflection on his FNC present (or any recollection of his 2007 MSNBC past), Tucker rashly riposted, “Wide stance!” As laughter rang out in the background, Clayton quipped, “That’s what we call Rick!”

Looking at Clayton, Rick laughed: In response, Clayton chuckled as if it were an inside joke. A few seconds later, he conveniently added, “Like a cowboy.” Clayton channeling Bill Press? Perhaps, perhaps not.

Stay tuned.

[Author's aside: As the author listened to the tape (for another article), he noticed the aforementioned strange exchanges. When he heard Tucker's "wide stance" comment, he immediately thought of the much ballyhooed phrase re Larry Craig (re Urban Dictionary's top definition). Upon further review, the author still wonders if Clayton's quick quip was an off-handed remark to FNC's beloved chief meteorologist or an odd "outing" of his friend.]

*F&FW vid – 03/08/14 (@ 00:58/04:06).


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