Archive for the ‘Steve Doocy’ Category

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”?

July 25, 2013

Religion, politics, and scandal: fact or fiction? No, Persecuted is not a biopic of the Fox & Friends co-host oft lampooned by Saturday Night Live or facilely skewered by Jon Stewart. But, it might just be the name of the major film that she said that she would be filming within the next ten days today in the After the Show Show. [Vid via J$P.]

As A.S.S. started this morning, F&F co-hosts Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade and FNC meteorologist Marina Molina sat together on the curvy couch. As usual, Brian Kilmeade left almost immediately to go to his Kilmeade & Friends radio show. Shortly, thereafter, Gretchen started to arise, saying, “I’m going off to shoot a movie, actually: So, I’ll see you in about ten days.”

Seemingly, on cue, Steve asked, “In a movie? What kind of movie?” Gleefully, Gretchen answered, “Yeah. A major motion picture.”

As Gretchen walked off the set, Steve queried, “What are you gonna do?” Coyly, Gretchen replied, “It’s a secret!” Following up, Steve asked, “Are you gonna be like the local newsperson or an anchorperson?” Gretchen responded, “Something like that.”

Probing, Steve demanded, “Where are they filming the movie?” Gretchen insisted, “It’s a secret!” “Albuquerque, New Mexico?” Steve persisted.

As Gretchen ignored Steve’s question, Maria queried, “What made you pick that location?” Putting his hand to his forehead suggestively, Steve said, “A voice in my head!” Apparently, to their F&F producers, Maria laughed, “Oh, you told him!”

According to a New Mexico Film Office press release, “feature Persecuted” began mid-July and will end in early August in Albuquerque. Gretchen’s probable “major motion picture” is co-produced by Oscar-winning Gray Frederickson (Apocalypse Now and Godfather) and includes actors, James Remar (Django: Unchained, X-Men: First Class, etc.); Bruce Davison (Lost, X-Men, etc.), and Fred Thompson (Die Hard 2 and Law & Order and former U.S Senator of Tennessee). (The plot revolves around an evangelist framed by a Senator for the murder of a young girl and the persecution that inevitably ensues.)

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”? Or, will she, perhaps, “Transcend” it all?

H/t: J$P.

Clayton Morris “Returning Champ”: Not!

July 22, 2013

2012 “New York’s Funniest Reporter” no-shows at the Comic Strip Live Sunday (and fails to congratulate the new 2013 winner, an FNC colleague on F&F the very next day). Last night, FNC’s “Dancing Machine” meteorologist Janice Dean was crowned as 2013 New York’s Funniest Reporter (along with PIX 11 reporter Magee Hickey) at the illustrious comedy club, Comic Strip Live. Strangely missing from the stage was the 2012 winner, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris, who was scheduled to return “for an encore” as “Returning Champ.”

This morning, odder yet, Clayton did not even acknowledge his new successor Janice when he showed up on Fox & Friends for his social media segment with F&F co-host Gretchen Carlson:* Less than fifteen minutes earlier, Gretchen had teased him and his interview as she touted Janice’s big win as “New York’s Funniest Reporter,” noting that Clayton had won the same award last year. (Interestingly, in that promo, Gretchen did not reveal that Clayton had failed to appear as planned at the Comic Strip Live event last night even though she did note FNC Senior Medical News Editor Dr. Manny Avarez‘s absence from his initially scheduled placement in the show.)

However, in the “After the Show Show,” Gretchen “let the cat out of the bag” as she discussed “New York’s Funniest Reporter” contest on the curvy couch with co-host Steve Doocy and FNC meteorologist Maria Molina.** After Gretchen had lauded victor Janice’s performance and Steve mentioned third-place winner Charles Payne, Maria asked about Clayton Morris’s routine.*** When Gretchen stammered, “Clayton didn’t, no, Clayton did not, he won last year but he was not there last night,” Maria seemed suddenly befuddled. Looking uncomfortable, Gretchen lamely answered, “But, he was on our show this morning: Maybe, that’s why.”

Or, maybe, not.

*F&F – 07/22/13 (@ 6:11 a.m. ET)

**After the Show Show (vid via J$P) – 07/22/13

*** Ibid at @ 4:33/05:24.

Fox & Friends Fail: “Sh*t” Hits the Fans

July 10, 2013

And “the fan,” too? Today, Fox & Friends fans were the victims of a scatological aural assault this morning. Even though some may have felt that way when they first heard that heir apparent F&F Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota was snubbed in favor of outsider ABC View babe Elisabeth Hasselback (for Gretchen Carlson‘s seat on the curvy couch), they actually were accosted with it as F&F transitioned to its final half hour after a baseball segment with erstwhile NY Mets pitcher Al Leiter.

When co-anchor Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy completed their interview of Leiter, Gretchen teased the final thirty minutes: When she had finished, the camera panned back to the trio on the mock field as producers aired Blake Shelton’s “Boys Round Here.” Apparently, someone had forgot to read the lyrics: As the final seconds ran, Blake is heard singing, “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Someone hit the mute button but to no avail: the damage had been done.

Today, the “sh*t” hit the fans. Did it hit their fan, too? Time will tell.

[Author's aside: In a classy response to her fervid fans who thought that she had been slighted, Aly Tweeted, "Hi Everyone -- thanks for the kind words of support. Stay tuned... I'll tweet more soon."]

“Haggling” Gretchen Gone: Hottie Hasselbeck In

July 10, 2013

Finally. Carlson “promoted” to her own afternoon show. As Fox & Friends began this morning, co-anchor Gretchen Carlson announced to her Fox & Friends viewers that she was leaving the curvy couch sometime in September for her own Fox News afternoon show. Referencing obliquely the New York Post “Page Six” exclusive yesterday that she would be replaced by The View‘s co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and that she would get a one-hour show in the early fall, a smiling Gretchen threw up her hands, saying, “Welcome, everybody! Hey, I, I think we’ve been in the news recently!”

The news comes as little surprise to cable news watchers who have noticed that Gretchen has seemed to be increasingly absent from the show over the past year. On August 4, 2012, Carpe Diem noted in “Gretchen’s Last Summer Vacation” her very frequent vacations and F&F‘s showcasing of possible replacements, including regular fill-ins, Alisyn Camerota and Ainsley Earhardt, and outside talent, Dara Torres and Kara DioGuardi. Over a month later, New York Magazine indicated that Gretchen’s “conspicu[ous] absen[ces] from Fox  & Friends for days on end” that summer coincided with her “haggling over her contract terms,” including a contentious one for her own show, with Fox News.

Apparently, Gretchen has finally won that year-long battle with the FNC suits. Now, she will have to live or die on her own smarts, talent, and charisma. After seven years of Gretchen’s being buttressed by her bulwark F&F co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, Roger Ailes and his Fox family and friends will finally find out if she can stand on her own.

Update 1: J$P “‘advance'” video of Gretchen explaining her “move forward in [her] career.” H/t, Johnny.

Update 2: In Elisabeth’s adieu on The View today, she emotionally declared, “I’m really happy and excited to confirm that indeed I will be joining the Fox & Friends team in September. And, [I] would like to thank Mr. Roger Ailes, Bill Shine, [and] the entire news channel for this incredible opportunity. Today is officially my last day at The View.” [Vid via Mediaite.com - @ 1:03/9:16.]

Aly: “I’m Gonna Come Back!” Not!

June 4, 2013

Oops! She did it again–but, even worse! Yesterday, Fox & Friends fill-in Alisyn Camerota overslept and was half an hour late for the show: Today, she did not even make her promised return!

Substituting for the frequently absent Gretchen Carlson Monday, a chagrined Aly made her appearance on the program tardy by more than thirty minutes: After initially jesting that she had run off with the band Lonestar (F&F’s Friday summer concert band with Aly as sexy cowbell belle), she blamed it on her Blackberry alarm not going off and her malfunctioning internal alarm clock. Aptly, she said that she was sorry to her co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, and emergency sub Ainsley Earhardt and asked for her audience’s forgiveness, saying, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Much later, when the show was about to end, Steve alluded anew to Aly’s faux pas, saying, “Well, you know, things started, Aly actually didn’t look like [she] was going to make the show because the alarm didn’t go off.”* Deadpanning, Aly mischievously asked, “Is that the story [that] you are going with?” Smiling, Steve riposted, “Well, that’s what you told us!” Licking her upper lip impishly, Aly answered, “Oh! I didn’t know if we were going with the tour bus story or the alarm clock. I like both!”

Subsequently, as usual, Brian teased the next day’s show, announcing F&F‘s upcoming guests (Dr. Oz, Senator Marco Rubio, Miranda Kerr, and Laura Ingraham). Touting Tuesday’s show further, Steve remarked, “It’s a fantastic show.” In concert, raising her left hand for emphasis immediately, Aly declared, “I’m gonna come back!” Concluding, Steve exclaimed, “Alright!”: Turning to his F&F viewers, he added, “And, we hope you do, too!”

Unfortunately for Aly’s fans who returned to F&F today, their lovely lady was not true to her word. I.e., she did not return. On the bright side today, a second South Carolina “Morning Glory,” Anna Kooiman, was there today to arouse them at the break of the dawn.

*Fox & Friends – 06/03/13 (@ 8:59 a.m ET)

Aly Cat: “Sorry about That!..It’s So Embarrassing!

June 3, 2013

Waking hubby: “Hey…what are you doing?” Oops! Tardy substitute Fox & Friends co-host Alisyn Camerota had a very bad early morning: But, on the bright side, she may have had a very good late night.

When Aly failed to appear in for an absent Gretchen Carlson on the F&F curvy couch at the start of the show, a seemingly surprised Ainsley Earhardt, Fox & Friends First co-anchor, surfaced instead on F&F after her own show F&F First, exclaiming, “Well, good morning to you! It is Monday June 3rd….I’m filling in for Gretchen [Carlson] this morning.”

Providing scant cover for his long-time FNC colleague in the show intro (as producers ran a clip of Aly and FNC meteorologist Maria Molina suggestively jamming out with Lonestar last Friday on A.S.S.), co-anchor Brian Kilmeade jested, “Last we saw Aly Camerota, she was partying with the band on our Friday summer concert series and…she’s supposed to be here….[A]ll I know is she is not here. What happened? That story we have.”

Chiming in bawdily, co-host Steve Doocy teased, “She took off with the band! Hello!”

Then, after the F&F theme had played, Ainsley revealed, “Okay, so…we have to be honest here. I’m, like, anchoring the 5 a.m. show, and they’re saying, “Ainsley, we need you to stick around and zip downstairs to Studio B because Aly has overslept this morning! Aly was filling in for Gretchen.” Elaborating, she animatedly disclosed, “So, Aly moved out to Connecticut…recently…a year ago or something….So, this morning, we were…all saying, ‘Oh, her husband [Tim Lewis is] in trouble.’ She’s gonna be like, ‘We’re moving back into the city (NYC): I can’t be this far away from work!”

Trying to come to the aid of Aly valiantly, Brian added, “Well, here, here’s the problem, Ainsley, as you know: They had a five-and-a-half marathon on Saturday and then four hours again on Sunday and then they had the After the Show Show and then some post-tapes. This woman is worn out!”

Giving slightly less succor to the alluring Aly, Steve jibed, “Oh, come on! And, then throw in that she looked like she wanted to join the band.”

Much more amenably, Ainsley interjected, “Right! And, throw in a few kids and a husband. I mean, come on!”

Smiling comically, Steve concluded, “If and when she shows up, you’ll see her…as Ainsley disappears shortly.”

Approximately, thirty minutes later, Aly finally emerged from her make-up room and sashayed to the set, laughing, “I’m ready now!…I just got off the Lonestar tour bus: But, I’m back now.” Reaching the curvy couch with pastry sops, she apologized, “Thank you, guys! Sorry about that!”

Feigning irritation, Steve queried, “Where were you?”

Chagrinned, Aly exclaimed, “My Blackberry did not go off this morning! Yes, I’m blaming my alarm clock, and my internal alarm clock malfunctioned as well!” Looking into the camera at her fans and bowing her head as their supplicant, she said, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Turning to Aly empathetically, Ainz asked, “Isn’t is so embarrassing when you wake up and the husband says, ‘Aren’t you supposed to be at work?'”

Heartily, Aly agreed, “It’s horrible! Revealing some benign early morning bedchamber chat with her mate, Aly added, “My husband goes, ‘Hey, It’s 4:30. What are you doing?’ I’m, like, ‘4:30!’ Like my hair’s on fire, and I jumped up.” Grinning naughtily, Aly racily remarked, “And, he wasn’t happy about me going on the tour with Lonestar either! So, I’m in the doghouse!”

Lonestar love to lonely lady! From “cathouse” to “doghouse”? Regardless, Aly is in the house!

[Author's aside: For a pic of Aly, Tim, their twin daughters (Alessandra and Francesca) and their son, Nate, link here.]

Kooiman’s Kinky “White Wedding”

May 2, 2013

Anna the next F&F spring bride-to-be? FNC correspondent Anna Kooiman subtly announced today that she is getting married (at least, if the past two years of Fox & Friends spring wedding exercise segments are a precedent). In her first promo of her “Wedding Workout! How to Slim Down for the Big Day” racy couples fitness segment, Anna excitedly did jumping jacks with her white veil and faux marital garb to the tune of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”: Off camera, F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade teased, “I think one is getting married: I think they’re all getting married, including Kooiman.”*

Later, when F&F co-anchor Alisyn Camerota introduced F&F‘s “Wedding Workout!” segment in the second hour, a smiling Anna appeared on camera in her ivory attire animatedly doing jumping jacks new–but this time with a suggestive ebony blindfold over her eyes.** Pulling it up momentarily, Anna remarked, “A couple that works out together stays together. And, that’s the idea behind…a brand new wedding season class at New York Sports Club.” Turning to her musclebound, blindfolded partner dressed all in black, she said, “This is my hubby….As if her real man were watching, she reassuringly declared, “He’s my stand-in hubby, just for the day!” [Italics added for emphasis.]

Subsequently, she had her “man of the moment” massage her shoulders as she interviewed the NY Sports Club instructors, asking them the name of their class: When the lady instructor responded “Tough Love,” Anna prompted her to give the rest of the risque rubric, “Bars, bands, and blindfolds.” Pulling her blindfold back over her eyes seductively, Anna racily remarked, “And, blindfolds. We are channeling Fifty Shades of Grey [an erotic romance thriller].” Subsequently, she did some “trust squats” blindfolded back-to-back with her partner and some bondage exercises (albeit free of the large rubber band loosely binding the ankles of some of the others).

When Anna began to wrap her report and segue back to the three F&F co-anchors, Steve Doocy randily queried, “What does the blindfold do?” Blushing, a grinning Anna answered, “This is what’s building the trust.” As Aly arched her eyebrows knowingly and echoed “the trust,” Ann continued, “I think because of the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, they are trying to…capitalize on that a bit.”

As Anna’s segment concluded, Aly intoned, “That’s great. Anna, I love that you turned to your partner like ‘married only for the day,’ ‘only for right now’ you had to tell him.” Hugging her hunk du jour in response, Ann chuckled, “Just for the day. Great, though!” Interjecting bawdily, Brian jested, “Right. Because he was hoping for the honeymoon!” As Steve smiled and Aly laughed, Anna tersely replied, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Yeah, yeah, Brian.” Anna probably already has her boy toy in tow if F&F‘s past is a prelude to her future. Almost two years ago (June 5, 2011), F&FW guest co-host Molly Line did a Nikki Fitness segment with “brides” in white entitled, “Bridal Boot Camp: Tips to get in shape for the big day”: Four days later on F&F weekday, she proudly proclaimed that she was betrothed and happily displayed her new engagement ring. Last year (June 14, 2012), Ainsley did her own Nikki Fitness segment titled, “Wedding Workout: Exercises to Get You Ready for the Big Day” in white connubial dress: Two weeks to the day later, Ainz was sporting her own connubial bling but waited until another month and half to announce, “Yes, I’m getting married.”

This year, Anna followed with her saucier version of the annual spring “white wedding” exercise segment: Today, it sounded as if Anna may have her own marital band in full view. Anna’s foot may not have fit into Cinderella’s glass slipper two days ago: But, she appears to have her real Prince at the ready.

*F&F – 05/02/13 (@ 6:56 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at @ 6:38 a.m. ET.

Terse Gretch Explains Absence

April 17, 2013

“I’m glad to be back here today.” Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson seemed rather defensive this morning about her absence yesterday from F&F‘s Boston Marathon tragedy special edition. Appearing eager to explain America Live‘s Megyn Kelly‘s appearance on the curvy couch in her place, Gretchen got straight to the point as soon as the show started.

After the obligatory opening teases for the program, Gretchen solemnly said, “Welcome, everyone. Good to be back.” As her co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy looked at her with stone faces, a seemingly agitated Gretchen declared, “Unfortunately, I was on an airplane when all of this happened in Boston and could not get from the West Coast. I’m glad to be back here today.” In response, Steve stayed strangely silent and Brian simply said, “Yeah.”

Yeah. Sounds like someone may have heard the scuttlebutt. Or, read Carpe Diem yesterday.

F&F’s Special Megyn Kelly: “Now I’m Curvy”

April 16, 2013

Preggers pretty: “This is interesting for me.” America Live anchor Megyn Kelly returned regally to Fox & Friends‘ curvy couch this morning to fill-in for the seemingly increasingly absent Gretchen Carlson. Looking resplendent in a purple modest dress with a demurely plunging neckline, the gravid beauty joined co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade for a Boston Marathon tragedy special edition. Like F&F Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota who oft takes the field for F&F‘s “A Team” on other momentous occasions, Megyn provided her usual grace and necessary gravitas to carry the show with the boys for four long hours of in-depth coverage of the horrific killings and the monstrous maimings on Patriot Day as the Bean City showcased the national’s oldest marathon.

After F&F coverage of the chaos for over two long hours, Megyn decided to give her audience a short interlude of levity. Mid-show, subsequent to Boston-based FNC correspondent Molly Line‘s report subtitled “Boston Terror Bombings,” she started to discuss the survivors’ loss of their limbs and security and to contrast their plight with the comfort of the co-hosts and their viewers, saying, “Here we are…on the curvy couch.” Interrupting herself mid-sentence, Megyn declared, “This is interesting for me. I did it [co-hosting] once seven years ago”: Placing both her palms on her stomach, she chuckled, “But, never pregnant!”

Pointing to Megyn’s baby bump in reply, Steve smilingly jested, “Now you’re curvy to go with the couch!” Grinning jauntily, Megyn replied, “Now, I’m curvy, right! You’ve got a curvy anchor to go on the curvy couch!”

Vintage Megyn Kelly: serious news–with her saucy take. Lawyer journo GQ “hot”!

[Author's aside: For Megyn's AL announcement of her third-to-be, cf. here for video.]

“I’m Alisyn Camerota”: Gretchen Who?

March 21, 2013

“Gretchen is off this week and Aly is in her spot.” Thus, Fox & Friends co-anchor Steve Doocy explained yesterday the latest absence of co-host Gretchen Carlson, who has reportedly been haggling with FNC for her own show.*  However, today, without any mention of filling in for Gretchen, guest co-anchor Alisyn Camerota introduced herself at the start of each hour simply saying, “I’m Alisyn Camerota.” Noteworthy? Perhaps.

As Gretchen absences seem more and more oft, Fox & Friends fans may be forgiven for wondering if FNC Executive VP of Programming Bill Shine is auditioning vixens anew for the center seat on the curvy couch. Monday, Fox & Friends First co-host Ainsley Earhardt made an appearance; Tuesday, Anna Kooiman, the former F&FF co-anchor who has suddenly enjoyed a significant presence on F&F (corresponding with the one-year anniversary of the latest iteration of F&FF which she and Ainsley christened together).* Yesterday and today, Aly, the consummate center F&F curvy couch co-anchor, took “Gretchen’s place” not only without a hitch but took it up a notch as usual.

If Gretchen does leave her seat on the F&F shared sofa for her own FNC chair, it seems obvious that Aly would be the natural choice. But, Anna appears to be the “wild card”: She’s smart, beautiful, and, oh, so ENERGETIC–and F&F wants its viewers to get to know her better:  Lately, it has proudly showcased her on a very regular basis, e.g., as the sexy “turbo kickingteacher [vid]; the sensual Cirque du Soleil acrobat; and as the fearless five-city reporter in search of an “honest man.”

Nevertheless, the author tends to think that the more seasoned Aly is and would continue to be a natural fit with the weekday A-Team of Steve and Brian Kilmeade. As for Anna? She certainly would serve as a sexy, sharp, spunky F&F Weekend co-host to contrast with the ever awkward Tucker Carlson and “tech geek” Clayton Morris if Aly moves up when Gretch moves out.

*Fox & Friends – 03/20/13 (@ 8:01 a.m. ET)

Nicoles’ Sexy “Stalk”: Janice’s Breathy Walk!

February 28, 2013

Saucy Dean apes sultry Petallides: Fox-y catwalk catfight? Playful FNC meteorologist Janice Dean made racy sport of her colleague FBN correspondent Nicole Petallides‘ “stalk walk” this morning to the great delight of Fox & Friends‘ co-hosts and its fans.

Less than five minutes after the always sensual Nicole gave her usual “walk-and-talk” business report (from the floor of the New York Stock exchange), a playful Janice appeared for her weather report outside the studio.* After her intro from F&F co-host Steve Doocy as the “Snowball Machine,” Janice remarked, “Now, Steve, Gretch [Carlson], and Brian [Kilmeade], I’m a big fan of Nicole Petallides’ stalk walk, you know when she walks and she talks about the stock. So…I think I’m going to do a weather walk: So, I’m going to talk about the weather while I walk.”  Raising her eyebrows wantonly, she purred, “Are you ready? Are you ready for this?”

Excitedly, Gretchen interposed, “Oh, my gosh!”

Pulling back her shoulders, Janice began to sexily sashay down the F&F veranda. As Steve giggled and Gretchen cackled, Janice breathily began to give her weather report. Joining in the bawdy fun, producers suddenly started to play stereotypical sexploitation music (a la Shaft‘s theme): Naughtily, an off-cam Steve teased, “Janice, how would you describe the voice you’re using right now?”

Staying in character, an undaunted Janice continued her rutty strut, cooing, “It’s my weather walk voice!” As an appreciative Steve laughed, an even more impressed Gretchen intoned, “Oh, my gosh! This is fantastic!” As Janice beamed broadly, a randy Brian interjected, “By the way, Ted on camera is going to need a shower after this segment!”

Bowing after her bravo performance, Janice declared, “There’s my weather walk everybody!” Smiling, Steve said, “Very nicely done! Pioneering a new aspect on Fox & Friends!” Chiming in, Gretchen added, “Janice, you realize [that] we’re going to expect that everyday now!”

Enthusiastically, Janice answered, “Fantastic! It’s the only time I’m going to get exercise.”

As the segment ended, Brian pronounced, “So, that’s the weather walk. Nicole will have her answer at some point, I’m sure.”

Indeed. And, assuredly, the gammy Greek goddess’ votaries eagerly await that answer to the cheeky Canadian’s challenge.

Until then, kudos, Janice! And, encore! Encore!

*Fox & Friends – 02/28/13 (@ 8:38 a.m. ET)

Brian “Kill-mead”: Governor “Bobby Kindel”

February 1, 2013

Sandra Lee’s special sauce at fault? Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade imbibed the New Orleans experience, perhaps, too literally this morning. During an F&F Sandra Lee Super Bowl snack segment at the New Orleans Convention Center this morning, Brian sampled Lee’s Bloody Mary, perhaps, as a “hair of the dog” delight after his foray onto Bourbon Street last night. Subsequently–or consequently, he thereafter mangled Lee’s apparent sponsor LG TV calling it LD TV. Not surprisingly, Lee responded by giving him apt grief for his gaffe: Furthermore, when Brian tossed back to his co-anchors, Steve Doocy ribbed him all the more about his drinking and his faux pas.

Obviously, a good swig of demon rum will not normally muddle one’s mind. However, Brian seemed to be suffering from some  lingering effect this afternoon before his interview of Louisiana’s governor, Bobby Jindal. Tweeting from outside the gubernatorial abode, Brian declared, “Heading in to gov mansion to intv Bobby Kindel @foxandfriends http://yfrog.com/mg4ybqsj.” After getting ribbed by his Tweeps about his obvious error (including the author), Brian did not respond: Rather, once the interview had concluded, he generically Tweeted, “Great 25 min with the Governor. Could not have been more upbeat and optimistic @foxandfriends http://yfrog.com/kj3wpuhj.”

Guess Governor Jindal pardoned Brian for his lese-majeste in the spirit of Mardi Gras. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

[Author's aside: "Kill-mead" is a not so subtle reference to the preferred intoxicant enjoyed in Beowulf.]

F&FW 2013: Tucker Time? Shhh!

January 27, 2013

Alisyn Camerota, Clayton Morris–and Tucker Carlson? With nary a word Saturday, Fox & Friends Weekend producers seemed to be sneaking Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson into their permanent co-anchor roster to replace recently departed Dave Briggs. Only a week earlier, co-host Alisyn Camerota told Tucker that he was enduring a “sort of hazing” that F&FW did to its “new co-anchors” (when he had to brave an automaton’s emetic expectoration during a “Fighting the Flu” segment).

Yesterday, at the start of each hour, instead of the usual presentation of all three co-hosts by one of the permanent ones, Tucker, Aly, and Clayton uttered not a syllable of introduction. Rather, they let their individual chyrons do the talking, “Tucker Carlson, Alisyn Camerota, [and] Clayton Morris” as if to indicate all three co-hosts, including Tucker, were now equals in a new F&FW iteration. In an apparent attempt to distract their long-time viewers from these new odd introductory voids, respectively, they discursively discussed, Aly’s being “slaphappy,” Aly’s “beloved assistant,” Andrew Dice Clay‘s F&FW intro, and Clayton’s at-home “Superman” garb.

Since Dave left the show on New Year’s Eve 2012, Tucker has taken on his mantle without fail in the New Year 2013. The only exception has been F&F‘s January 20 special edition when FNC  “scrambled” their F&F “A-Team” co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade to join Aly for Inauguration coverage a la 2009.*

F&FW 2013? Apparently, it’s now Tucker time!

*F&FW – 01/20/13 (@ 8:15 a.m.) – [Referring to himself, Steve, and Aly, Brian remarked, “That fact (Vice President Biden’s swearing-in) does not elude…Bret Baier who is scrambled on a Sunday like us because of [this] historic day in Washington.” (Italics added for emphasis.)]

Heather’s Virgin Vacation: Best Birthday Ever :)

January 14, 2013

“Thanks @tzb3.” Throwing caution to the winds, Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Childers shared her daily diary and personal pictures with her Tweeps as she took a rapturous romp in the Virgin Islands with her apparent beau @tzb3. From the time that  she and her honey left Charlotte, North Carolina, Heather regaled her followers with photos of her island destination (St. Thomas), with her sublime experiences (wading in the surf, greeting the sunrise, dining shore-side, catching the St. Thomas – St. John Ferry, imbibing her balcony rainbow, and basking in the Baths), and with a few sexy bikini pics to boot (1, 2).

Yes, Heather can hang with her shapely Fox & Friends First colleagues Ainsley Earhardt and Anna Kooiman (and alums of the same South Carolina elementary school). Surely, Ainsley caught Jay Leno’s eye when her derriere was ogled seemingly by former F&FW co-host Dave Briggs and Anna snared the attention of F&F co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy with her “booty shaking” morning dance: But, Heather has now brought her own sexy Southern touch to FNC by sharing the ambiance, aesthetics, and allure of her Caribbean birthday bash with her own fervid fans.

Heather heat: Hot Child-ers in the City!

[Author's aside: Re "Best birthday ever :) Thanks @tzb3" in title, supra, cf. Heather's "Sparkling lights of #StThomas!" post."]

F&FF’s Old Turkey: “Scrambled Up!”

December 17, 2012

Finally, thrown out? Thankfully, Fox & Friends First‘s awkward “Scrambled Up” signature sign-off seems to have surceased around Thanksgiving. After almost a month of its absence as the segue segment from F&FF to Fox & Friends, it seems safe to say that it has run its course. Now, there is no toss from F&FF co-hosts to their F&F counterparts: instead of the usual hand-off, the F&FF co-anchors crisply conclude their show and simply announce that F&F is next.

For FNC fans who have dreaded the tortured toss exchanges between the F&FF co-hosts and their Fox & Friends colleagues, the change is a welcome one. The F&FF ladies (Ainsley Earhardt, Heather Childers, Heather Nauert, and Patti Ann Browne) no longer have to play second fiddle to F&F diva Gretchen Carlson or her boys, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy. In fact, they don’t have to play at all with their seemingly scornful sibs who appeared to disdain playing the “Scrambled Up!” jumble with their  F&FF “little sisters.”

Apparently, Ainz, PAB, and the two Heathers are all grown up now–and on their own. At last.

Aly: “Steve & Brian Here with Me”

December 15, 2012

Gretchen: Hey, everyone! I’m…in for Shep today. Aly at Fox & Friends’ helm soon? Today, FNC anchor Alisyn Camerota was in charge of the F&F “A Team” as F&F Weekend covered the Connecticut school carnage. After a special weekend edition of F&F First, Aly welcomed her audience and the F&F “big boys,” saying, “Good morning, everyone! We appreciate you joining us on this very sad morning. It’s great to have Steve [Doocy] and Brian [Kilmeade] here with me.”

Remarkably, Aly did not note the absence of either of her regular F&FW co-hosts Clayton Morris or Dave Briggs. Furthermore, in this Fox & Friends “special edition,” Aly did not mention her purported “A Team” counterpart Gretchen Carlson, who was conspicuously missing this morning. Has the changing of the F&F “A Team” guard already begun?

Only two days ago, seldom solo host Gretchen notably filled in for Shepard Smith on Studio B, an FNC afternoon show (saying, “Hello, everyone! I’m…in for Shep today”):* Perhaps, her contract negotiations have begun to bear more fruit. According to New York Magazine, Gretchen was “said to want to host her own show on the network but Fox executives [were] resistant to the idea”: furthermore, it reported that a source had said that she had reached a “short-term accord that would keep her on the curvy couch with Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade until the election” but added that “after November, it’s unclear.”

Perhaps, tellingly, Gretchen has seemed to be particularly strident in her polemics lately–as if she might be auditioning for “her own show.” And, her co-hosts Steve and Brian appear reluctantly to be biting their tongue all the more. Perchance, they think that she is starting to spread her wings in anticipation of a flight on her own soon to a later hour on FNC.

Post-election F&F: Gretch a goner? If so, is Aly their new “It girl”? Stay tuned.

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 12/13/12 (@ 3:00 a.m. ET)

Gretchen’s Cups: “I’m Still a Woman!”

December 2, 2012

Carlson: “When I woke up this morning and took a shower and I looked down, I still had to put a bra on!” To paraphrase Shania Twain, Fox & Friends anchor Gretchen Carlson feels like a woman! She needs her cups and her F&F boys, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy, need their cups, too.

For Gretchen’s male admirers who may feel like F&F‘s “alpha bitch” is always kvetching a bit too much, she seemed to turn up the heat for them Wednesday. As the show started with a tease for a “new website helping you find love at the airport,” Gretchen cooed, “I hate to bring it up so early in the morning but there have been a lot of jokes about hooking up on airplanes.” Feigning innocence, she said, “You know, there’s that club so I’m just wondering if that’s what they’re talking about with this dating site.” Chuckling racily, she added, “If you’re married, you’re going to hate this dating site because there could be a lot of other kind of hookups with married people traveling.”

An hour later, when the second F&F hour began, Brian “innocently” promoted a similarly salacious segment, saying, “It’s the story you’ll be talking about all day. More and more men say they’ll never get married because women aren’t women anymore….Gretchen’s gonna punch me in a second.”

In response, Gretchen remarked, “Not at all!” Smiling saucily, she elaborated, “I just think it’s a provocative conversation because when I woke up this morning and took a shower and I looked down…I still had to put a bra on.” When her co-host Steve Doocy joked, “Fox News Alert!,” Gretchen racily riposted, “I’m still a woman….And, I love being a woman. And I, I absolutely love my feminine side!”

Always the wicked wag, Brian jested, “And Steve and I looked down and we didn’t put on bras. So, we know we’re men!”

Laughing, Gretchen bawdily  responded, “You put on a cup!” Beaming, Brian retorted, “Yeah, yeah, absolutely! Because this is a tough business we’ve chosen! Grinning, Steve answered, “You’ve got that right!” Naughtily, Gretchen concluded, “You should just wear it just in case: That’s why I wear the underwire [bra].”

As Steve segued to his more “naive” son Peter Doocy for the next segment, Gretchen lustily laughed, “I know you’re chuckling, Peter, because you didn’t hear any of that first part of the conversation. Did you?” Smiling, Peter answered, “No, I heard it! But, we’re just going to, I’m just going to keep it going.”

Chiming in deftly, Steve exclaimed, “Good idea!” No rubbing Gretchen’s toes for Peter today!

Relationship? Hemmer and MacCallum Mum

November 1, 2012

Steve Doocy: A lot of people think they are married. Yesterday, America’s Newsroom co-anchors Martha MacCallum and Bill Hemmer seemed somewhat disquieted when it came to the scuttlebutt about a possible off-camera relationship between the television couple.

On Fox News Radio’s Kilmeade & Friends, guest host Steve Doocy introduced Bill and Martha to his audience, remarking, “A lot of people think that they are married.”* When an uncomfortable silence ensued, Steve said, “I thought you were going to say something.” Succinctly, Martha responded, “We don’t want to talk about that.” Chuckling, Bill added, “Especially here.”

Apparently, many Kilmeade & Friends listeners were disappointed that both Martha and Bill opted not to discuss the status of any potential personal relationship. For the third day in a row, hits were at historic highs for seven-month-old Carpe Diem post, “Martha MacCallum: Mrs. or Ms.?: ‘Miss’ing Her Marital Band.” Rumors of Martha’s marital status have been fueled by December 9, 2011 profile (201) Magazine article, “Holiday Look: Martha MacCallum and her family get dressed up to celebrate” which seemed to feature Martha and her three children but not her husband; her subsequent doffing of her wedding ring for approximately a month and half on AN; and Bill’s jesting reference to Martha and himself in a photo of the two of them together on an Ailes-hosted evening harbor charity cruise as “the bride and groom.”

Bill and Martha: a happy couple? Unfortunately, yesterday, they failed to report. Until they do, the rumors will persist.

[Author's aside (caveat) - The quotes, supra, are to the best of the author's recollection: he recorded them approximately fifteen minutes after hearing them in an auto.]

*Kilmeade & Friends – 10/31/12 (@ 11:48 a.m. ET)

F&F Cat Spat: Gretch “Slimes” the Two Heathers

October 16, 2012

Nauert: “She’s wrong for once.” Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson got rather perturbed at her fellow FNC blonde colleagues, F&F First co-hosts Heather Nauert and Heather Childers, for correcting her on air yesterday. In the “Scrambled Up!” segue (consisting of the jumbled letters of a word from a story in the show) from the early F&FF to F&F, Gretchen usually has found it frustrating and daunting: But, Monday she sat smug and confident before the two Heathers’ toss (of the letters, “m,” “l,” “e,” “i,” and “s”). Just not for long.

After F&FF‘s penultimate segment concluded, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” segment, Nauert declared, “Okay, it’s time to get ‘Scrambled Up’ and Gretchen Carlson is here to help us.”

Grinning, Gretchen blurted, “I already know it: slime.”

“Slime?” queried Nauert, incredulously. Echoing her, Childers chimed, “Slime?”

Rolling her eyes at Gretchen’s answer, a smiling Nauert replied, “Noooo.”

After, possibly, getting the real answer in her ear, Gretchen rolled her shoulders, proclaiming, “It could be.” As Gretchen’s co-host Steve Doocy and Childers chorused “smile” in reply, Nauert charitably declared, “She’s wrong for once.”

Not willing to concedeto her F&F colleagues, Gretchen proudly insisted, “It could be slime.” Coming to her succor, Gretchen’s other co-host Brian Kilmeade inaccurately interjected, “It’s true.”

Looking through the camera at Gretchen with outstretched palms, Nauert confidently declared, “It’s ‘smile’!”

Mimicking Nauert’s body language, Gretchen defiantly shouted, “It could be ‘slime’!”

Compliantly, Nauert’s co-host Childers concurred, “It could have been ‘slime'”: Less deferential to her F&F elder, a seemingly sarcastic Nauert laughed, “It could be. Yes, yes. Very good, Gretchen!”

Having secured her possibly Pyrrhic victory for the moment, Gretchen riposted, “Okay. But, I’ll smile when I say it. Thanks, ladies!”

After that cat spat ended (and as F&FF ended and F&F began), Brian aptly asked, “Was slime in the show, though?” Ignoring his clear implication that she was wrong (since the answer has to have a word in the show itself), Gretchen blithely proclaimed, “That may be the first time that we’ve had a word that could be two words.”

[Author's aside: Actually, Gretchen was right that the answer could have been two words: However, "slime" was not one of them. Both "smile" and "miles" were contained within the subtitles of F&FF stories (consecutive ones) less than ten minutes before "Scrambled Up": "Smiles Not Always Contagious: Bosses Grin at Those Lower in Pecking Order" and "By the Numbers: 24 Miles, 4 Minutes, and 834 MPH" (about the space dive of "Fearless Felix").*]

*Fox & Friends First – 10/15/12 (@ 5:51 a.m. ET)

Judge Napolitano: “[Biden] What a Jackass!”

October 12, 2012

Fox & Friends‘ Steve Doocy: “Whoa! How do you really feel!” Fox News senior judicial analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano was NOT impressed with Vice President Joe Biden’s performance last night. And, he was more than happy to express it in no uncertain terms this morning on Fox & Friends.

As Judge Napolitano finished his legal segment on F&F this morning (with co-hosts Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade), he grumbled, “Listen, after watching the Yankees and Biden last night, oh, my goodness!”* [Italics added for emphasis.]

In explanation to any of his viewers who may not have known the results of the MLB playoff game, Brian replied, “Yankees lost and now there’ll be a game five tonight.”

Grousing, Judge Napolitano replied, “Yes, unfortunately! Biden lost, too. What a jackass! What a jackass!”

As Gretchen eyes widened in shock at the Judge’s assessment of the Vice President, Steve rejoined, “Whoa! How do you really feel!”

Similarly surprised, a beaming Brian chuckled, “Wow!”

Subsequently, a buzzer sounded, seemingly signaling the producers apparent discomfort with the Judge’s epithet. In response, Gretchen exclaimed, “And, that’s how we end the segment!”

As the Judge laughed uproariously, a still incredulous Gretchen concluded, “Thanks very much, Judge!”

“Wow!” Indeed.

*Fox & Friends – 10/12/12 (@ 6:41 a.m. ET)

Update: Segment vid via Mediaite (@ 02:23/02:38).


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