Gretchen: “Not About Discussing My Marriage”

Deja vu: “Screwed” by Dick Morris. Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson appeared quite uncomfortable today when Fox News contributor Dick Morris used her view of the future of her marriage to sports agent Casey Close as a political metaphor. However, Morris seemed oblivious to Grechen’s apparent discomfit but her co-anchor Steve Doocy and her guest co-host Eric Bolling certainly seemed acutely aware of it.

In Morris’ political segment this morning, Gretchen queried, “Will [President Obama's recent controversial small business comments] actually affect the voters in the swing states? Because I think a lot of people are amazed that it’s still a neck-and-neck race nationally. And, quite frankly, in the swing states President Obama’s winning right now.”*

Seemingly exasperated at Gretchen’s questionable recall of his past appearances, Morris replied, “Gretchen, we’ve been through this a hundred times together. He’s not winning: he’s losing by a lot. The polls of likely voters show a close race but the undecided always goes against the incumbent. ” Then, perhaps, piquing Gretchen more than was prudent, an impishly smiling Morris remarked, “Um, we talked about your marital history with that in mind. I said, ‘Are you going to be married to the same guy next year? And, you said, ‘Yes.’”

Grimacing, Gretchen softly responded, “Okay.” Meanwhile, Eric and Steve turned their gaze from the camera and looked away: Eric blindly into space and Steve warily off-set.”

Perhaps, sensing Gretchen’s discomfort and that of her co-anchors, Morris quickly commented, “And, I said, ‘Are you undecided?’ And, you said, ‘Not in the least!’” Seemingly still irked, an unamused Gretchen chuckled and looked down. Yet, Morris continued, “But, if you were undecided, it wouldn’t say good things about the marriage!”

Arching her eyebrows and shaking her head side-to-side, an apparently perturbed Gretchen stammered, “I’m only concerned about the, I’m just concerned about the election–not about discussing my marriage! But, anyway!”

As Yogi Berra might say, it was deja vu all over again: ironically, three months ago, Gretchen and Morris had virtually this same conversation. Last time, Gretchen was equally evasive in her response to Morris’ metaphor about her being undecided as to the future of her marriage. Then, she responded, “Not a good thing to say on national tv even if you were thinking it!”

But, perhaps, she just did. Again. Stay tuned.

Fox & Friends – 07/18/12 (@ 6:39 a.m. ET)

“Forgotten” Gretchen Returns–Early!

“I’ve been on vacation.” Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson must have felt indeed neglected yesterday when her substitute Alisyn Camerota and her co-anchor Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade failed to mention her name or her absence: today, she decided to return to the curvy couch this morning, apparently, at least, a day early.

Yesterday, Gretchen’s seemingly scheduled sub for today, Fox News correspondent Anna Kooiman, Tweeted, “I’ll see you tomorrow again on Fox and Friends! I’ll be hosting with two of the funniest-sweetest-smartest guys.”

Subsequently, the author penned “F&F: Gretchen Carlson Forgotten?” In the article, he noted Gretchen’s increasingly frequent absences from F&F and her fill-in Aly’s thrice-fold introduction of herself yesterday without mentioning Gretchen at all: Furthermore, he mused whether Anna would follow Aly’s lead or whether she would mention that she was substituting for Gretchen (and thus “tamp down down any rumor that all may not be well with Gretchen’s reign on the curvy couch”).

Apparently, Gretchen wanted to do the tamping down herself ASAP. Rather than Anna hosting Fox & Friends as promised this morning, Gretchen appeared in the center seat instead. And, as the show began, she announced, “I’ve been on vacation.” Interestingly, Gretchen did not say where nor did the boys ask.

Gretchen back–today.

Brian’s “Fred Claus” Obsession: Secret Revealed

Elizabeth Banks: I wear a very short skirt. Today, fans of Fox & Friends co-anchor Brian Kilmeade‘s finally learned the reason for his odd obsession with the critically-panned Christmas movie Fred Claus. And it was not the holiday spirit–or spirits.

This morning, Brian and his co-hosts, Alisyn Camerota and Steve Doocy, interviewed actress Elizabeth Banks as she promoted her new film People Like Us. As the segment drew to a close, Aly asked, “You know what Brian’s favorite movie is?” With the hint of a smile, Banks answered, “I heard it’s Fred Claus.”

Grinning sheepishly, Brian interjected, “It’s Fred Claus! It’s the best movie ever. You were genius in it!” After chuckling heartily, she replied, “Well, I wear a very short dress. Thank you for noticing.” As Brian laughed, a smiling Aly nodded her head knowingly and pointed accusingly at him. Turning to Brian, Steve aptly jested, “Oh, no wonder! Fred who?”

*F&F – 06/27/12 (@ 8:56 a.m. ET)

F&F: Gretchen Carlson Forgotten?

“I’m Alisyn Camerota.” Three times, Fox & Friends guest co-host Alisyn Camerota so introduced herself this morning to her audience–without a word of regular co-anchor Gretchen Carlson.* Simply an oversight? Perhaps, but Gretchen’s absences seem to occur more and more often lately: in fact, she has not graced the curvy couch in approximately two weeks with little apparent concern from her co-anchors Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade.

However, yesterday, F&F guest co-host Anna Kooiman did repeatedly say that she was in for Gretchen. Even though Aly uttered nary a peep about the former Miss America today, perchance, Anna will do so again tomorrow (when she “subs” again). If so, perhaps, Anna’s assertion may help tamp down any rumor that all may not be well with Gretchen’s reign on the curvy couch.

Gretchen: forgotten today. Her tomorrow?

*Fox & Friends – 06/27/12 (@ 6:00 a.m. ET; 7:00 a.m. ET; and 7:59 a.m. ET)

Gretchen Gets “Cheeky” with Brian

“As much as I like your back end.” Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson missed her boys, especially Brian, apparently, or, at least, his behind. After taking off on F&F Monday to guest co-host on the all-woman The View, Gretchen rejoined her co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy this morning with a new-found appreciation of her boys. As the F&F started, Steve mentioned Gretchen’s ABC appearance on The View and Brian waggishly noted that there were “a lot of women” on that program: In response, Gretchen joyfully exclaimed, “I miss the testosterone: I miss double testosterone!”

About a half hour later, apparently, the male hormone was beginning to have an effect on Gretchen. As she read a headline news story subtitled, “Fighting Voter Fraud,” she began to stutter. Off camera, Brian teased, “Why are you hesitating?” Chuckling, Gretchen replied, “Well, it’s pretty tough to read a teleprompter with you standing in front of it–as much as I like your back end.”*

Somewhat inaudibly, Brian apparently riposted, “Oh…[you] can always blame [me].”

Or, this morning, Gretchen can blame her hit of F&F‘s “double testosterone.” Not to mention, a shot of estrogen espresso.

Good morning!

*Fox & Friends – 06/12/12 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

F&F Folly: AFLAC!

Perhaps, the only thing more annoying about AFLAC than the quack of its iconic duck is its Fox & Friends’ “AFLAC Trivia Question of the Day.” For some odd reason, F&F treats the AFLAC question as some print publications still do their daily crossword puzzles, i.e., without any regard to its consumers’ convenience, it reveals the answer later without repeating the question–as if the casual viewer knew it even if s/he were watching earlier.

For example, today, co-host Steve Doocy read the “AFLAC Trivia Question of the Day,”i.e., “Born on this day in 1975, this actress’ father is academy award winner Jon Voight: Who is she?” Ten minutes later, co-anchor Brian Kilmeade declared, “The answer to the AFLAC Trivia Question of the Day [is] Angelina Jolie.”And the question was?

Apparently, F&F‘s attitude is “Missed it? Get over it!” Minor F&F gripe? Yes, but, a daily irritant.

*Fox & Friends – 06/04/12 (@ 7:43 a.m. ET)

Juliet Huddy: “My Bullying Story Still Haunts Me”

“Scarred me for life.” Fox & Friends guest co-anchor Juliet Huddy revealed Tuesday that she is still traumatized by a childhood bullying incident. Before a segment about an eight-year student who was shamed at a school assembly by her teacher with a “Catastrophe Award” for most homework excuses, Juliet Tweeted, “My bullying story still haunts me. Stay tuned to find out what evil girl scout counselor scarred me for life.” Subsequently, when discussing the story with her co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy, Juliet exclaimed, “I think it’s horrible! And, I’m going to tell you why.”

Prefacing her explanation, Juliet insisted, “I like a joke just like the rest of you folks out there.” Then she declared, “But, when I was in third grade and I [had] started crying at girl scout camp because I missed my mom and dad–I’m not not usually a wimp but for some reason I was just having a hard time–at the end of the week, Starr, the little counselor…[gave me]…Biggest Crybaby [camp award].”

Playfully mocking Juliet, Brian interjected, “Aw! Aw!”

With a slight smile in response, a very serious Juliet continued, “And, I was very disturbed by the whole thing. I knew at the time that they were all making fun of me….I have been tormented and haunted by that.” Then, emphatically, she proclaimed, “I swear to you on my life.” Concluding, she pointed to herself and self-deprecatingly jested, “Which is why I turned out this way.”

*Fox & Friends – 05/29/12 (@ 7:38 a.m. ET)

Fox & Friends: TNA or “T&A”? [Updated]

Brian spanked by Brook beauty.  Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade got his appreciative rump repeatedly slapped this morning as he welcomed former “Hogan Knows Best” reality star and sexy chanteuse Brook Hogan to the program. Promoting TNA’s new Thursday time slot on SpikeTV, Hulk Hogan‘s daughter, the new executive at TNA (Total Nonstop Action) Wrestling executive brought her wrestling lovelies Velvet Sky and ODB for her segment with Brian and his F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy: And, the Brown-Haired-Guy-Who-Isn’t-Steve-Doocy was not disappointed as he took on the scantily clad ladies in a mock match.

When Steve began the “In the Ring with Brooke Hogan” interview (in the middle of the wrestling ring on the sidewalk outside the studio), he asked Brooke about her “new” show. Before she could answer, Brian jauntily interjected, “It’s TNA!” With a suggestive smile, Steve asked, “What does that stand for?”

Knowingly, Brooke answered, “TNA: Total Nonstop Action Wrestling: wagging her finger at Steve, she laughed, “Don’t let your mind go there–even though they’re very beautiful!” When a joshing Steve asked if she were talking about “these employees over here of yours,” Brooke chuckled and Brian interposed, “We’re talking about Velvet Sky and ODB!”

Subsequently, as a busty ODB began to play with Brian’s tie, Brooke joked, “Uh, oh! Uh, oh! I think you got a girlfriend there.” Smiling, Brian riposted, “Well, I’m seeing somebody right now but you never know if it’s gonna really last.” Getting in on the action, leggy, abs-bearing beauty Velvet Sky grabbed his right hand, querying, “Hey, there’s no ring though, right?”: then, espying it on his left hand, she looked at the camera as if at Brian’s beloved [Dawn], declaring, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

When the interview ended, Steve and Brooke went to the ropes as Brian took off his coat to fight his pretty opponents. When the “fight” ensued, Velvet Sky began the contact with a touch to Brian’s arm and then a tap to his posterior. Then, she and ODB took Brian through a demonstration of their moves with a toss into the turn buckle, a choke hold, a shot to the solar plexus, and then a clothes-line hit. Consequently, Brian good-naturedly hit the damp mat on his duff.

Beaming, Brian returned to the fray. Giving him no quarter, Velvet Sky got Brian into a full Nelson and OBD gave him a fake knee to the groin. As Brian feigned a protest to Brooke, Velvet Sky playfully patted him on his tush thrice, saying, “Nice wet pets you got there!” Grinning, Brian agreed, “I know. I do have wet pants.” As Steve stepped in and asked if he were okay, a bemused Brian animatedly answered, “What? I’m, I’m watching Thursday night, I tell you, because I want to see, especially, if you ladies wrestle.”

However, Brian was not done with the lovely Velvet Sky. When she (and OBD) subsequently wrestled one of the Fleet Week seaman volunteers and had him “at her mercy” in an arm twist, Brian decided to intervene. Returning to the inner ring, a beaming Brian dropped to his knees and tackled the short-skirted lovely. Sky vainly struggled to regain her footing: But, Brian’s amorous embrace was sure.

F&F today: T&A. Oops! TNA.

[Author's aside: Apparently, Velvet Sky was unimpressed with's Brian's ardor: after their "rassling" romp, she teased, "Really Brian Kilmeade?? With a take down like the one you gave me this morning you should have your man card revoked!"]

Related Fox & Friends fanny friskiness [update re lore]: “Kiran Chetry Spanks Kelly Wright!” (video) – 10/22/06 “Grope an Anchor Day” (Clayton Morris‘ cheeks clutched by chap) – 04/04/09; “Brian’s Love Tap” (Alisyn Camerota‘s tush slapped by Brian Kilmeade) – 11/11/10; and “Kara Gropes Kilmeade” (Brian’s bum squeezed by model Patricia Kara) – 11/08/11.

Steve Doocy: “Our Dirtiest Show EVER!”

Anna Kooiman: “A little nervous!” “Mudder” Fox & Friends co-anchors Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade (weekday), Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs (weekend), Anna Kooiman (weekday First), and FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth all got down and dirty for a great cause yesterday and today. The six braved a Tough Mudder abbreviated obstacle course on the sidewalk outside their studios to promote the Wounded Warrior Project.

On Thursday, Steve teased, “Friday on FnF, our dirtiest show EVER!” True to his word, he and his younger co-host Brian Kilmeade proved their Mudder mettle Friday while co-anchor Gretchen Carlson was not up for the muddy wet T shirt contest. After his brave run, Brian remarked, “Most nervous I ever was for a segment.” Subsequently, Steve somewhat more tentatively tackled the physical endurance test: Later, seemingly still winded, he Tweeted, “Brian & I survived the @toughmudder, thanks 2 the INSPIRING #woundedwarriors guys.”

Today, Rick began his FNC Mudder trial with his usual intensity as he enthusiastically went full throttle in the mite too cool early morning. Later, buff fitness femme fatale Anna ran the course at a somewhat slower rate as she tried to not to be a “YouTube sensation for busting [her] booty going over the wall.” Approximately, an hour later, Dave athletically scaled that wall without any apparent assistance as Clayton gamely followed suit with some well-timed help from his hero friends.

Fox & Friends fun: Showing how it’s done!

H/t to Johnny Dollar: F&F “Mudder” vids via links, supra, courtesy of J$P.

Gretchen’s Wardrobe Malfunction: “Oy!”

No coffee needed! Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson certainly aroused any of  her sleepy fans with a sexy caffeine-free start this early Monday morning. And, one crewman made certain that they did not miss the shot. Oy!

When F&F returned today for a second hour (with a tease about the “plug being pulled on a popular TV show”), co-host Steve Doocy vigorously wiped the “curvy couch” table. Pointing to him and the mess, a jesting Gretchen explained, “Steve…was so rattled that we’re going to be canceled that he deposited his entire coffee on my foot.” Continuing animatedly, she remarked, “You know what, let me just take off my shoes….I’m just going to take them off right now ’cause I got coffee all over them.” Uncrossing her legs insouciantly and reaching down to remove her right shoe, she gave her viewers a java-less her viewers with a sudden up-skirt shot.

For any Gretchen’s audience who had not yet noticed the slip, an off-camera crewman (sounding like Joel, the floor manager) alerted them with a loud “oy” while her white underwear was yet in view. With the hint of a smile, Gretchen appeared to glance in his direction, pulled her short blue dress back down and continued to doff her stiletto. Meanwhile, with a twinkle in his eye, her co-anchor Brian Kilmeade looked in the same direction as he sheepishly grinned. Without so much as missing a beat, Gretchen removed her other high heel, wiped her leg, and straightened her skirt again–this time without a second wardrobe malfunction.

Oy! F&F Monday: Starting your week with a smile. Sans Starbucks.

Gretchen’s Confession: One-Time Run-in w/ Beer

“That was it!” Today, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson explained her current disdain for a good cold brew. After a segment tease that beer made men smarter than their sober friends, Gretchen declared, “The worst part of that study is that I’m going to have to start liking beer.”*

In response, her co-host Brian Kilmeade quizzically queried, “You don’t like beer at all?” Rolling her eyes at him peevishly, Gretchen replied, “You, how many years have you known me?” Defensively, Brian stammered, “Well, I, but I mean, do you, I know you like one but you don’t like beer? I didn’t know you had a dislike of, of beer.”

Chuckling first at Brian seeming discomfort and then looking into the camera innocently, Gretchen admitted, “Yeah, I had a one-time run-in with beer. That was it!” “Really?,” asked a seemingly skeptical Brian. “Mm, hmm,” replied Gretchen tersely.

Arching his eyebrows playfully, Brian declared, “Mine was with tequila!” As Gretchen chuckled heartily, co-anchor Steve Doocy smilingly interjected, “Who hasn’t had one of those!” Turning to Steve, Gretchen questioned, “Since this is confession now, what was yours?”

Before Steve could reply, Brian chorused, “Steve, have you had a run-in with anything that kept you away forever?” In answer, Steve jested, “Uh, let me put it this way, when…on Capitol Hill…they’ve been talking about the Buffett Rule, I thought they were talking about the Jimmy Buffet Rule which means less than four margaritas probably a good idea.”

F&Ff: Fox & Friends fun. Whether the old saw, “Confession is good for the soul,” is true or not, it was good for a laugh or two today. “Bottoms up,” Gretchen!

Fox & Friends – 04/12/12 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET)

“Eagle” Eye: “TV’s Andy Levy” Nails Ann Coulter

Coulter’s Reagan slips: “Demonic” or ignorant? Oops! Conservative author and Mitt Romney backer Ann Coulter may be able to get away with GOP misinformation, artful or inadvertent, with Fox & Friends co-hosts Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy, and Gretchen Carlson but not with Red Eye‘s ombudsman “TV’s Andy Levy.” Rather, Levy nailed Coulter today and she knew it.

Three days ago, Coulter told the credulous F&F co-anchors that Ronald Reagan pulled out of his losing (1976) GOP Presidential campaign early a la Mitt Romney in 2008:* And, she indicated that Rick Santorum should follow suit now. Only problem: Ronald Reagan took his bid to the GOP convention where he narrowly lost on the first vote in a hard-fought floor fight.

Today, Coulter iterated her F&F argument to Red Eye anchor Greg Gutfeld, sidekick Bill Schulz, and RE panelists. Unfortunately, for Coulter, RE‘s fact checker Levy was listening. During Levy’s “Halftime Report,” he asked Coulter about Reagan’s taking his bid all the way to the convention.** Looking dumbfounded, Coulter obfuscated: Instead of vainly defending her erroneous assertion, she muttered that Reagan had convinced a conservative group (CPAC) not to back a third-party candidate and had campaigned for President Ford (and that Romney had exited early). Fortunately, for Coulter, Levy merely pressed her a mite more and compassionately moved on.

Catching Ann Coulter’s Reagan gaffes? Brickbats for Brian, Steve, and Gretch. But, bravo, Andy!

*Fox & Friends – 04/02/12 (@ 3:13 into Fox News Insider vid)

**Red Eye – 04/05/12 (@ 3:35 a.m. ET)

Update: For Red Eye “Halftime Report vid, link here.

Gretchen: “Unless You’d Like Me Nude” Again

Brian: How many people want to see Gretchen naked? FBN anchor Stuart Varney, for one, apparently. Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson got FBN’s biz brain all excited this morning as the “naked” weather gal this morning. And, he was ready for an encore!

Immediately, before Varney’s appearance, Gretchen and co-anchor Brian Kilmeade did the weathercast (since co-anchor and Kansas Jayhawks FAN Steve Doocy had been “forced” to do sports and report the Kentucky NCAA championship victory over Kansas).* Initially, Brian stepped before the “weather wall” and asked Gretchen to join him as his assistant. Waving her in, Brian rakishly queried, “How many people want to see Gretchen naked? Let’s make this thing happen!” Exclaiming, “What!,” Gretchen sashayed to join him at the green “weather wall” in her  similarly colored dress.” When her dress became invisible, she began to seductively dance a la a cinematic Arabian harem girl. In response, Brian joked, “Finally, the ghost of Mrs. Muir to 1968!”

Subsequently, Gretchen and Brian joined Steve on the curvy couch for their interview of Varney on the GSA Vegas party brouhaha. As Varney’s segment concluded, Brian teased FBN’s Varney & Co. and then Steve jested, “Do you need Brian and Gretch to come help you with weather?” Without a scintilla of hesitation, Varney emphatically exclaimed, “I’d like another forecast like that one! Yes, sir!”

Chuckling heartily, Gretchen declared, “I might have to change my dress, though.” Suddenly, snapping his head toward her, Varney pleaded, “Don’t!” Perhaps, channeling Mae West, Gretchen purred, “Unless you’d like me nude for a second time around.” Looking down and shaking his head, Varney replied, “No comment!”

Gretchen, ‘nuf said?

*Fox & Friends – 04/03/12 (@ 6:37 a.m. ET)

Geraldo: Juliet…You Were Freakish, Baby!

Steppin’ Out’s “Sexiest”: Especially, when–I know! Fox & Friends guest co-host Juliet Huddy made quite the impression on FNC co-host Geraldo Rivera on Hump Day this week, apparently. Yes, he loved the style of the Hoboken honey today in her rather demure crew-necked, micro-sleeved, somewhat short blue dress today: But, apparently, he really loved her “freakish” look in her daring decolletage-baring, sleeveless mini of the same color Wednesday.

At the end of Geraldo’s weekly Friday appearance this mornng with her (and her co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy), Juliet cooed, “Bye, Geraldo! Good seeing you, Honey! Say hello to Erica.”

In a rather perfunctory response, Geraldo simply said, “Thank you, thank you,” and shook hands with Steve and Brian. Then, turning back to Juliet, with an appreciative wave of his right hand from her feet to her face, Geraldo rakishly remarked, “Juliet, I love your style, especially around mid-week: you were looking freakish, Baby!”*

Chuckling, Juliet reddened and pointed to him with her Hi-liter pen without looking at him. Trying to coyly shush him, the flattered, flustered lovely purred, “Especially, when–I know. Um, okay!” Then, she laughed with lusty pleasure.

Before segueing to the tease for the next block, Brian waggishly added, “Alright. [Her style] but not, but not Steve’s. With his still patently robust machismo on display, Geraldo laughed heartily. Meanwhile, a smiling Steve arched his eyebrows and shook his head, saying, What!” Loving the amorous attention, a beaming Juliet, exclaimed, “Alrighty!”

“Alrighty” indeed. Juliet, “freakish” on Hump Day, Geraldo? Well, the gammy, buxom gal was certainly in rare form Wednesday in her sleeveless purple mini with a plunging neckline. Perhaps, she was merely making up for the more matronly appearances of her new colleague Melissa Francis Monday and Tuesday: Or, maybe, not!

Fox & Friends – 03/23/12 (@8:10 a.m. ET)

*Caveat: Geraldo’s “rakish remark,” supra, was clearly audible in the beginning and became somewhat less so toward the end: However, to ensure an accurate account as possible, the author listened to the audio repeatedly and, subsequently, transcribed his hearing thereof.

Green Melissa Debuts Purple–Anew

Steve grimaces: Brian grins. Fox & Friends guest anchor Melissa Francis made her premiere on the program in purple apparel anew today–seemingly, the very dress that she debuted on FOX Business Network months ago. But, that fashion faux pas was not exactly what rendered her “boy toys,” F&F co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, almost mute today: rather, it was her green attempt at humor.

Approximately, mid-show, Melissa read a headline news story about an Aussie brewery XXXX that purchased a small island (“Pumpkin Island“) to turn into a promotional “ultimate destination for [four] mates” with beer and beaches but no babes. Subsequently, she jested, “Four men get to go on the trip in the fall: That raises so many questions! Opens it up to so many jokes.”

Realizing that his newbie co-host seemed to be tacking toward perilous waters, F&F co-host Steve Doocy grimaced and rubbed his brow fretfully. Looking into the camera quite cluelessly, Melissa continued, “I’m new: So, you know, I’m not gonna really dive on them.” Turning to a smiling Brian, Melissa implored, “But, you should feel free, though.”

Arching his eyebrows and cocking his head, Steve seemed to start to caution Brian. Perhaps, sensing Steve’s  apparent monitionial motions, Brian stammered, “Not, not, not when, uh, not when we find out that Donald Trump is on the line. Everything stops. My ad libs come to a crashing halt because Donald Trump is here.”

Blandishing Brian but belying his veracity, Trump declared, “I don’t think your ad libs will ever stop. There’s nothing you can do to kill them. And, we don’t want to stop ‘em.”

No, Melissa, the F&F boys, Brian and Steve, were not going to go to that island–literally or figuratively. But, had it been the “mythical” Greek isle of Lesbos of which you spoke, they probably would not have been able to resist so easily. Had you, their siren, ditched the “green” and the redux purple, an Aerosmith pink may have well sufficed.

Fox & Friends First Returns

Starring Anna Kooiman and Ainsley Earhardt–Monday. Fox & Friends First returns to the FNC morning line-up Monday according to a Hollywood Reporter exclusive. Reportedly, F&FF will begin at 5:00 a.m. ET, an hour earlier than the regular weekday edition of Fox & Friends. Furthermore, it will feature a cast of rotating anchors including FNC beauties (Anna, Ainsley, Juliet Huddy, Patti Ann Browne, Arthel Neville, Heather Childers, Heather Nauert, and Jamie Colby) and F&F Weekend “beasts” (Dave Briggs and Clayton Morris).

On the first show Monday, Fox News newbie Anna Kooiman joins her more experienced colleague Ainsley Earhardt (a former F&F Weekend co-host). Announcing the news to her Twitter followers, Anna excitedly Tweeted a photo of the “Fox & Friends First Gang Prepping for Monday!” In a follow-up only a minute later, she implored, “Wake up with Ainsley and Anna Monday Morning at 5am for Fox & Friends First!!!” To make sure that her admirers would, the very fit fitness expert included a pic of her and Ainsley prettily posing together.

Tune in, F&FW viewers, blond vixens Anna and Ainz will be ready to rouse you from your slumber!

[Author's aside: The original version of Fox & Friends First debuted in 2001 and ended in 2008 (when F&F weekday was expanded to three hours). It, too, had a rotating cast of anchors including lovelies (Alisyn Camerota, Kiran Chetry, Juliet Huddy, and Lauren Green) and less-than-lovelies (Judge Andrew Napolitano, Steve Doocy, and Brian Kilmeade). For a look back at the original F&FF, cf.  Aly (2007 promo) and Kiran and Brian (2004 footage).]

Update 1: Today (Sunday), as Anna and Ainsley promoted their upcoming show on F&F Weekend, Ainsley said that the two of them would be on together this Monday through Wednesday.* During their segment with F&FW co-hosts Dave, Clayton, and Alisyn, Dave declared that he and Clayton would be a part of the F&FF anchor rotation this month: Seeming to indicate that she would not be a near futureF&FFco-host, a smiling Aly simply nodded her head at his obvious omission of herself and subsequently wished the co-hosts good luck with their new show. Later, in a Tweet, Dave clarified that he would be co-hosting F&FF this Thursday and Friday.

*F&FW – 03/04/12 (@ 8:42 a.m. ET)

Update 2: For vid of Anna and Ainsley’s F&FF promo on F&FW, link here. (H/t J$P.)

F&F Tease: Cold as Ice

Symone Black’s frightening fall: Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”? Fox & Friends producers and co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy seemed “Cold as Ice” early this morning about sixteen-year-old contestant Symone Black’s scary tumble from the American Idol stage. When producers teased the upcoming story (as the “A” block ended), they aired video of Symone’s stumbling from the stage and her subsequent crumpling onto the floor as Brian blithely boomed, “And, you’ve seen the American Idol auditions that just fell flat: But, this girl took it to a whole new level.” Then, when the fall was shown for the second time to the tune of Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust,” Steve coarsely jested, “Kaboom!” To make matters, after F&F producers let the footage run longer to show stunned judges Steven Tyler, Randy Jackson, and Jennifer Lopez looking on in horror at an injured Symone (laying in the fetal position and cradling her head), they quickly added one last fall for good measure right before the commercial break.

“Another One Bites the Dust”? Yikes! That crass F&F promo certainly should have.

Camerota Censored Again: Bikini Pic Post Cut

BUT, Carpe Diem found it and Aly’s photos for her fans. First, her wedding video: now, her 80′s risque pic post. Almost two months ago, Carpe Diem reported that Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota and her hubby Tim Lewis‘ edgy “You Sexy Thing” wedding dance video had been bowdlerized from F&F‘s “In the Greenroom” blog. Today, the author noticed that F&F has gone even further: now, apparently, not only did they remove that post itself (and its introductory one) but also excised an even sexier Aly photo post from her distant past.

Almost three and a half years ago (07/02/08),* during a “Back to the 80′s” segment with F&F co-hosts Brian Kilmeade, Steve Doocy, and Gretchen Carlson, then Fox & Friends news reader Aly happily displayed pics from her heady 80′s years.** After producers aired a photo of the leopard-clad lass and her family at the beach in Wildwood, New Jersey, Aly penned an “80′s Photos” post which shared pics of herself and various amorous blurred-out beaux (one, two), a big-haired prom pic, and then the piece de resistance–Aly and her co-ed buds basking in the sun.

As the full-screen photo of a taut, tanned, and bikini-clad Aly appeared, she proudly proclaimed, “Now, this is what’s so important about this picture: That’s what somebody looks like before three children. This is what the abs were like.” As an appreciative Brian exclaimed, “Oh!,” a smiling Aly continued, “I hope as many– people, if you’re not watching your television right now, please come to the tv and stare at this. You’ll never see this again: I’m a figment of my former self.”

Seductively, Aly added, “Listen, if you can somehow take your eyes up from my abs, look at the Wayfarer sunglasses…and that is my Joan Jett mullet–short in the front, long in the back!” Priapically, Steve asked, “What did you call that yesterday?” Racily, Aly animatedly answered, “Business in front: party in the rear!”

As Steve and Aly laughed wickedly in unison, a bawdy Brian exclaimed, “Yeah, fantastic!” Seemingly somewhat jealous, Gretchen acerbically chuckled, “I have a feeling that little get-together wasn’t very innocent.”

Unabashedly, Aly replied, “Uh, none of those that we just saw. And, I’m amazed that they’re…covering the face[s] of the guilty in some of these even though I did not tell them to: Somehow, our producers instinctively knew.” In a final riposte, Steve jested, “Some people call those snap shots of the ‘guilty’: others call them evidence. And, that’s why we’ve fuzzed people out.”

Unfortunately, F&FW fans, Steve may not have been “jesting” after all. Seemingly, FNC has gone one step further “for Aly”: Not only have they covered “the face of the ‘guilty’” but they have expunged the evidence altogether.

Sexy “Camerota CENSORED” again: But, this time, did Aly “tell them to”?

*Fox & Friends – 07/02/08 (@ 8:36 a.m. ET)

**Aly and fam – 3rd row, 1st pic; Aly and beaux (3rd row, 4th & 8th pics); “prom” Aly (3rd row, 9th pic); and Aly in her piece de resistance (2nd row, 11th pic).

Piqued Fred Thompson: Huckabee Untruthful

“There’s not one shred of truth….just a rewriting of history.” A visibly miffed former Senator Fred Thompson (TN-R) appeared on Fox & Friends today to rebut his former 2008 GOP Presidential rival and FNC anchor Mike Huckabee‘s allegations yesterday.* Before he gave his side, F&FW producers ran a clip of Huckabee indicating that a feckless Thompson had stayed in the ’08 GOP Prez race at his “good friend” McCain’s urging so that Thompson would split the vote with Huckabee to deny him a South Carolina victory; that “many people in the McCain camp had confirmed” that fact; and that “it was very painful at the time.” When F&F co-anchor Steve Doocy asked Thompson for his response, he laughingly sniped, “What Mike just said is, is fine except for one thing: there’s not one shred of truth to it.”

Pressing Thompson, co-host Alisyn Camerota inquired, “So, Senator McCain never asked you to stay in the race?” Emphatically, Thompson answered, “Correct! Senator McCain and I never had a conversation about staying in the race, staying out of the race.” He continued, “If I’d wanted to hurt Huckabee, I would have stayed in…as we went down to Tennessee…or would have endorsed John before then.” More definitively, he declared, “We didn’t [even] have a conversation with the intermediaries….There was nothing said about that.”

Clearly still miffed, Thompson elaborated, “Mike, Mike’s been around long enough to know not to…inhale all of that stuff too deeply. And, when he says [that] several McCain people have come to him and verified it, I, I must say–you know, I have nothing at all against Mike Huckabee–I doubt that. I doubt that.”

Then, calling Huckabee “out on the carpet” before his clearly uncomfortable FNC colleagues (F&F co-hosts Aly, Steve, and Eric Bolling), Thompson concluded, “And, if they did…he should name the names. Now, it’s just a rewriting of history that’s unnecessary.”

Coming to Huckabee’s defense, Steve stammered, “Well, it, it, apparently, it’s his perception on what happened.” Chiming in, less than convincingly, a smiling Aly asserted, “Well, we appreciate you clarifying all of that.”

Perhaps, Aly. But, Governor Huckabee probably doesn’t.

Fox & Friends – 01/13/12 (@ 7:52 a.m. ET)

Update: For columnist Tommy Christopher‘s subsequent take and the vid clip in Mediaite, link here.

F&F Holiday: Gretch Away

Christmas cheer: Aly & Juliet appear. Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson took off early for her holiday vacation. But, true-blue fill-in co-anchors, Alisyn Camerota and Juliet Huddy, more than took up the slack this Thursday and Friday, respectively. Unlike the former Miss America who demands the attention of her co-anchors, Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy, and the F&F fans, these FNC reigning beauties more than earned it.

What a delight: Aly and Juliet were as usual–smart, sexy, and scintillating.  But, for the author who still can not quite grasp how Gretchen gained E.D. Hill‘s long-held throne over her seemingly more socially adept, less solipsist rivals, Aly and Juliet (not to mention former FNC rising star, Kiran Chetry), their appearances were a bit bittersweet. And, if Brian and Steve’s less contrived conversations and more relaxed demeanor were any indication, they appeared to concur–happy for the moment for the “new” spirits and their Christmas cheer.

F&F holidays: Skal!