Clayton No Dave: “Wins” Rigged Kayak Race

Stuttering Tucker takes one for “the team”: “I’m not, I, you know, I, I think Clayton won.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris finally took the gold in the annual F&FW-Bass Pro Shops kayak race–albeit with an abetting hand. With perennial champion Dave Briggs sidelined at NBC Sports Network, Clayton seemed possibly positioned to, at least, have a chance at a viable victory in view of his F&FW fans. But, apparently, F&FW producers had little to no faith in his ability alone to vanquish his new opponent, co-anchor Tucker Carlson.

Introducing the 2013 keen competition between Clayton and his new competitor Tucker (kayak racing vid), co-host Alisyn Camerota remarked, “The Great American Kayak Race has become a tradition on Fox & Friends: This weekend we continue with that venerable tradition.” Looking out at her lads on the water, Aly declared, “Tucker, you don’t know what you’re in for: This is your first annual kayak race. Clayton, you’re old hat: But, you’ve never won. So, let’s see what happens today.”

Standing in support next to the ever also-ran Clayton, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth animatedly interjected, “Tucker, what you need to know is that Clayton, um, is incredibly athletic. And…you’re really in for a big challenge here.” As Tucker derisively laughed, “Yeah,” Rick continued, “He’s also not afraid of getting wet! We’ll just put those two things [out].”

Subsequently, when Aly counted down to takeoff, Clayton’s F&FW/Bass Pro kayak handler propelled him forward as Tucker’s counterpart held him back until Clayton had reached virtually the first leg end point. Chuckling at the injustice, Tucker robustly oared forward and appeared to actually win the race by a nose. With the fix in, though, apparently, Clayton raised his arms in “triumph” as the Bass Pro ref and the handler who had held Tucker back pointed to Clayton as the purported winner.

Trying to appear, at least, a little fairer, Aly exclaimed, “That was a tie. You think so?” The “unbiased” Bass Pro ref shook his head and alleged that Clayton had won albeit barely. Aly countered, “I think it was a tie. I really think it was a tie!” As a smiling Clayton claimed, “Finally!,” Aly countered, That was a photo finish: I need to see the instant replay!”

Nevertheless, the Bass Pro spokesperson took the gold medal to Clayton, saying, “I’m going to give, I’m going to give first over here. I think you deserve it.” Turning to Tucker with the silver, he continued, “Even though, even though, you got cheated just a little bit.”

As the segment concluded, Rick stood beside Clayton: Pointing to Tucker, he aptly asserted, “I think you might want to thank his, um, four-second late start.”

When the show concluded about fifteen minutes later with Clayton the only cast member strangely absent, producers aired the photo finish again. As it ran, Aly declared, “Thanks so much for joining us. You can see here the very suspenseful final seconds of our annual kayak race. I think it was a tie.”

To her newly initiated co-host, she “innocently” queried, “What do you think, Tucker?” As Aly grinned at F&FW‘s compliant tyro, Tucker dutifully stuttered, “I’m not, I, you know, I, I think Clayton won.” Patting her new student on the shoulder approvingly, Aly replied, “Wow! Very big of you. Very big of you!”

Poor Tucker: Sounded like Clayton’s Baghdad Bob today!

“Proud” Tucker: It Hasn’t Impaired My Dignity!

Co-host Clayton Morris: “I gave that up a long time ago!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Tucker Carlson seems to finally be “let[ting] us in” as his co-host Alisyn Camerota obliquely requested over three months ago. Yesterday, the usually uptight conservative Daily Caller co-founder decided to do a “down and dirty” tease with the “Clean Momma” a la his Dancing with the Stars days [via F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth's  vid]:* In fact, he even did an encore in the subsequent fitness segment illustrating the “Dustpan-Busting Butt-Burner” for Clean Momma who “want[ed] to watch [his] butt go up and down.”** Today, Tucker dutifully donned with good humor F&FW‘s de rigeur St. Patrick’s Day kitsch alongside Aly and Clayton for the amusement of their F&FW fans. [Aly assistant Jenn Rivera pics: 1, 2.]

Over three months ago (on his third day as unofficial new F&FW co-host), Tucker and his co-anchors (Aly and guest co-host Mike Jerrick) had their personal signatures analyzed by handwriting expert Michelle Dresbold, author of Sex, Lies and Handwriting.*** When Tucker showed Ms. Dresbold’s his autograph (“TSMC”), she incredulously declared, “Most people, at least, cursive their signature: When you print, it…means you’re not letting anyone see you too much. And, you only write your initials which means ‘I’m really not letting you see too much: I’m doing quick as I can and get it done.”

Downplaying Dresbold’s rather frank assessment, a stone-faced Tucker joked, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.” Not letting him off so easily, Aly interjected, “Um, why won’t you let us in, Tucker?” Smiling and pointing at his heart, Tucker riposted, “I don’t know. Because it’s too dark inside.”

Perhaps, with the assistance of a few early morn Irish coffees, Tucker finally opened himself a mite on this St. Paddy’s Day weekend. But, if he really wants to win his F&FW viewers over, Tucker will have to follow Aly’s intimated advice to let them in. Otherwise, FNC’s sun-”Shine” may reconsider allowing the “other Carlson” to brighten too many more F&FW dawns.

[Author's aside (re title and subtitle): As the third hour of F&FW opened, Tucker donned a fake green mustache and Clayton and Aly sported matching gawdy sunglasses. Undaunted, Tucker protested, "We're not too proud to celebrate St. Patrick's Day on this program....It hasn't impaired my dignity!" With a slight smile, Clayton comically replied, "I gave that up a long time ago!"]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 8:49 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/17/13 (@ 3:22/4:12)

***FNC vid via Mediaite.

Tearful Briggs Leaves F&FW

Dave: “I’m not going away! Just going somewhere else in the New Year.” Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris dropped a bombshell this morning by announcing that co-host Dave Briggs is leaving their popular FNC morning weekend show. After the final half hour began with the “Shot of the Morning,” Clayton turned to Dave and their fellow co-anchor Alisyn Camerota, remarking, “I want to take a moment here because this is going to be the last time that the three of us…are going to be on the couch together. Looking down, Dave replied, “Wow! I didn’t expect you to say that: But, yeah, I am. I will be moving on.”

Tearing up, Dave continued, “I will miss the two of you more than I can speak. You’ve made me better and you’ve made the show better. You’ve been my work family!”

Growing emotional, too, Clayton interjected, stammering, “Likewise, man! It’s like a, like losing, you know, having a brother leave, you know, with a family and move on.”

Chiming in, Aly exclaimed, “We will miss you so much, Dave!”

Sentimentally, Dave stated, “I will miss you both! It’s been the best show, best job of my life. I will never have a job I enjoy more, no matter where I go.” Looking into the camera at his fans, he assuring stated, “But, you will see me. I’m not going away! Just going somewhere else in the New Year but it’s been a wonderful experience here.”

As to Dave’s departure date, Aly explained, “Dave will be through here through the end of the year: But, I won’t be working during these shows.”

Sounding as if he may be leaving Fox News to boot, Dave declared, “But, I should say thanks to…Roger Ailes, and to Bill Shine, and Suzanne Scott, and some of the people who brought me here as well. And, all the producers who have helped me out for a couple of years. But, I just, I love you guys!” Then, as FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth appeared in a split screen shot, Dave added, “And, Rick, Rick has been my confidante and my office mate. And, you guys are, you’re my family: I’ve never had a work family….Damn, I’m gonna miss it!”

Nodding his head for emphasis, Rick replied, “We’re gonna miss you, Dave! But, you know, the good part is you’re not moving anywhere….This is Aly’s and this is my last day with you, Dave. So, it been wonderful to have you here: And, we will miss you a ton.”

So, where will Dave be? Before his big announcement, a Twitter follower asked, “What’s with the beard cutie?”: In answer to his avatar change, Dave cryptically Tweeted, “Explanation coming soon…”

Perhaps, much more telling, in the final segment of F&FW today, Aly gave Dave multiple pairs of hosiery as a parting present, saying, “So, Dave, I don’t know if your new co-anchor is gonna want to match her outfit to your socks: But, if so, I have gotten you some possibly anchor-friendly new socks to match with her outfits.” Seemingly, confirming that he will be co-hosting a new show with a new female co-host, he answered,”I think she’s gonna love them!”

Pleading with his fans for their continued loyalty in his future endeavor, Dave subsequently Tweeted, “I will miss our viewers almost as much as Clayton, Aly & Rick. I really appreciate every one of you and hope you stick w/me in 2013…”

Good luck, Dave!

[Author's aside: Notably, on this august occasion, Dave dutifully donned his connubial band today after approximately three weeks on F&FW sans it. Bravo, Brandi!]

Update: In the After the Show Show (via J$P), Aly more definitively verified Dave new gig, saying, “You new co-anchor is such a lucky woman!”

Update2: According to J$P, the “likely destination for @davebriggstv – NBC Sports Network.” Subsequently, he RT’d @SPORTSbyBROOKS: SbB has learned NBC Sports Network is planning a daily show hosted by @MichelleDBeadle & @davebriggstv.” As further evidence, he teased, “RT @MichelleDBeadle (yesterday): Cranked out promos for my new sports show and my last Access Hollywood of the year….”

Steve Doocy: “Our Dirtiest Show EVER!”

Anna Kooiman: “A little nervous!” “Mudder” Fox & Friends co-anchors Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade (weekday), Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs (weekend), Anna Kooiman (weekday First), and FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth all got down and dirty for a great cause yesterday and today. The six braved a Tough Mudder abbreviated obstacle course on the sidewalk outside their studios to promote the Wounded Warrior Project.

On Thursday, Steve teased, “Friday on FnF, our dirtiest show EVER!” True to his word, he and his younger co-host Brian Kilmeade proved their Mudder mettle Friday while co-anchor Gretchen Carlson was not up for the muddy wet T shirt contest. After his brave run, Brian remarked, “Most nervous I ever was for a segment.” Subsequently, Steve somewhat more tentatively tackled the physical endurance test: Later, seemingly still winded, he Tweeted, “Brian & I survived the @toughmudder, thanks 2 the INSPIRING #woundedwarriors guys.”

Today, Rick began his FNC Mudder trial with his usual intensity as he enthusiastically went full throttle in the mite too cool early morning. Later, buff fitness femme fatale Anna ran the course at a somewhat slower rate as she tried to not to be a “YouTube sensation for busting [her] booty going over the wall.” Approximately, an hour later, Dave athletically scaled that wall without any apparent assistance as Clayton gamely followed suit with some well-timed help from his hero friends.

Fox & Friends fun: Showing how it’s done!

H/t to Johnny Dollar: F&F “Mudder” vids via links, supra, courtesy of J$P.

Gretchen’s Beefcake: Shirtless Dave Briggs

Lusty Carlton: “Whoo-who! Alright! Wooh! Alright, Dave!…I might suggest that he does more of those segments.” This morning, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson appeared to get all hot and bothered over the the sight of the bare chest of her handsome younger F&F Weekend counterpart Dave Briggs.

Reading the headline news mid-show, Gretchen reported Dave’s weekend Penguin Plunge in Westport, Connecticut, for Special Olympics of Connecticut.* As producers aired the accompanying vid of the swimmers taking their “Arctic” dip, she did not see him immediately: However, when Gretchen suddenly saw a close-up of a shirtless Dave fleeing the freezing cold water, she excitedly exclaimed, “There he is! There he is! Whoo-who! Alright! Wooh! Alright, Dave! Okay!”

Subsequently, after finishing the rest of her Connecticut Penguin Plunge story, Gretchen cooed, “I might suggest that he does more of those segments.” Looking over at Gretchen, guest co-host Eric Bolling shook his head and smiled uncomfortably. In response, Gretchen looked back at Eric and racily cackled,”Nice job, Dave.”

Then, segueing to their phone interview of Donald Trump, a grinning Gretchen queried, “Uh, Donald, are you going to be doing that anytime soon.” In reply, Trump declared, “Well, I’m not so sure. Doesn’t look too good to me.” Giggling, Gretchen randily raised her eyebrows and purred, “I was talking about going shirtless.”

When an amused Trump answered, “Well, shirtless I love. Right? Shirtless I love,” a smiling Gretchen answered, “Oh, okay.” Exasperated seemingly, Eric exclaimed, “Uh, can, can we move on now!” As Gretchen giggled anew, Trump laughed, “Okay. Alright.”

Perhaps, Gretchen has to move on this year. But, she gets another chance to gawk at more Briggs beefcake on New Year’s Day 2013. In fact, Gretchen gets double the pleasure: Dave plans to take the polar plunge in Maine then–with his friend F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth.**

Poor Gretchen: it is going to be a long 2012.

*Fox & Friends – 03/12/12 (@ 7:33 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/11/12 (@ 7:34 a.m. ET)

Rick Reichmuth: “Not Bad for a First-Timer”

“Bush’s brain”: “[He's] steady…charming…personable…just a fun guy on the set.” FNC contributor Karl Rove gave FNC chief meteorologist Rick Reichmuth a rave review for his debut on the Fox & Friends Weekend curvy couch on Christmas Eve. In Rove’s usual weekly F&FW appearance Saturday with co-hosts Dave Briggs, Juliet Huddy, and Rick, he effusively praised Rick (after zestfully zinging his friend Dave).

When Dave welcomed Rove to the show in its final hour, he said, “We are honored [that] you’d join us on this Christmas Eve, Karl!” Playfully, Rove gibed, “Well, I’m happy to do so. But, I’m a little nervous if you’re the senior guy there.” As his co-hosts Rick and Juliet laughed heartily, a “wounded” Dave declared, “In the Christmas spirit, you had to slam me”: Then, pointing to Rick, Dave queried, “Well, Rick’s doing a great job: Right, Karl?”

Smiling, Rove responded, “He is!…Not bad for a first-timer….We knew he was steady under difficult conditions when he handled the weather. But…he’s been charming; he’s been personable; [and] he’s been…just a fun guy on the set this morning. He’s been great!”

And, Rick had. Not only had he fulfilled his co-host duties ably during the prior three hours, but also he had shown a remarkable sensitivity in his interviews with an awkward eight-year-old “One Boy USO,” a tearful “Layaway Secret Santa” recipient, and a grateful “Operation Ride Home” U.S. serviceman and his appreciative family. At least, on Christmas Eve, Rove was right.

Job well done, Rick.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/24/11 (@ 9:04 a.m. ET)

“Big News”: Rick Debuts on Curvy Couch

FNC chief meteorologist Rick Reichmuth proudly trumpeted his first appearance on Fox & Friends Weekend tomorrow as a guest co-host. After fellow fill-in co-anchor Juliet Huddy disclosed to her Twitter followers that Rick would be “on [F&F's] curvy [couch],” Rick exulted, “Big news for tomorrow’s Fox and Friends…Get ready….I am filling in on the curvy couch for Clayton [Morris]!” Elaborating, Rick remarked, “I’ll be doing weather, too.” Apparently, trying to allay any fears of his fans, and, perhaps, any lingering ones of his own, he hopefully declared, “With @foxdavebriggs and @juliethuddy, they’ll take good care of me.”

Congratulations on your overdue debut, Rick. Good luck!

Juliet: “This is Weird!”

A.S.S.: Caught in Mike’s lap. Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-hosts Juliet Huddy and Mike Jerrick seemed like old flames Saturday. As the two former two-time TV spouses [F&FW and Morning Show with Mike and Juliet] got back together on F&FW, they seemed to reignite that old spark in a “Philly Sandwich” with co-anchor Clayton Morris: But, according to Juliet, it got “just weird” during the After the Show Show (A.S.S.).

As A.S.S. began, Mike, Juliet, Clayton, and meteorologist Rick Reichmuth walked over to the nearby “trading desk” to talk with FBN anchor Nicole Petallides and two other business guests about stocks. With only two seats available (one at each end of the desk), Clayton took one and Mike the other: Meanwhile, Juliet stood behind Nicole and Rick next to Mike. When Clayton began to interview Nicole and before the camera zoomed in on her, Juliet walked over toward Mike as he pulled back his chair. Putting her hand around Mike’s neck, a smiling Juliet then sat down seemingly in his lap (by then off-camera).*

As Nicole finished her answer and the camera panned out for a shot of the whole cast, there sat Juliet comfortably on Mike’s knee!** When Juliet realized that the viewers could see her in Mike’s lap, she smiled and blushed. Chuckling uncomfortably, she stood up and turned to Rick, whispering, “This is weird!”

As Rick sheepishly grinned, Mike looked down as if nothing unusual had happened. Weird? No, just classic Fox & Friends.

*After the Show Show – 08/13/11 (@0.54/5.53)

**Ibid at @1.17/5.53.

Dave: Aly “Back on FOX & Friends Some Day!”

“Every picture tells a story: don’t it?“ Early this evening, F&F Weekend co-host Clayton Morris sent a NY Mets Fox Fan Night photo of his F&FW colleagues–sans Alisyn Camerota–to his Twitter followers. Perhaps, almost apologetically, F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs later Tweeted, “Great to see my good friend @AlyatFox at Citi Field, we’ll get her back on FOX & Friends some day!“

Perhaps, “some day,” F&FW fans. But, not tomorrow: Earlier today, F&FW‘s sensual “new siren,” Molly Line Tweeted, “In NYC! @ffweekend tomorrow with Clayton and Dave! http://yfrog.com/gypkeyej.”

And, probably, not Sunday either. With Aly away, Ainsley Earhardt seems to have reclaimed her Sunday center seat again as of late. Especially, with rival Juliet Huddy mysteriously still “on the mend.”

Poor, Aly. Just a week ago today, the “ringless” femme fatale rocked her boys and their Fox & Friends weekday fans hard as she sexily “work[ed] for the weekend.” However, when the F&F Weekend finally came, the hapless beauty was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she reappeared midweek  on the America’s Newsroom stoop–with her wedding band, rediscovered, wrapped securely around her ring finger.

“Some day,” Dave? Apparently, an eternity away, Aly acolytes.

Molly Line’s Gluts: An F&FW Afterthought

Molly’s end: bottom of the Carpe Diem barrel? Before moving on from Fox & Friends’ “new girl,” the author was compelled to include one last Molly Line (Memorial Day Weekend) item. Mercifully, at an end for now, at least, for some–especially, perhaps, her potential F&F Weekend rivals, Ainsley Earhardt and Juliet Huddy. Not to mention, this dry but displaced author (with a backlog of potential posts).

Apparently, as a newcomer to Fox & Friends, Molly is in the process of learning that she is the “Fox” and that her boy bookends are the “Friends.” Accordingly, she has already heeded the apparent advice of her former WFXT-Fox 25 (Boston) colleague and current F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth not to “break a leg” but to “show some leg.” Last Saturday, Molly upped the ante, not only generously displaying her magnificent gams for her FNC viewers during the show but also flaunting her taut tush for them during Fleet Week naval exercise routines. [In the F&FW navy fitness segment entitled, "Do You Have What It Takes?," a lissome Molly worked her "nice and tight" gluts exclusively as the F&FW cameraperson panned in frequently to marvel at her rear in motion and at rest.*]

However, unlike F&FW‘s proud putative queen, Alisyn Camerota, Molly still seems loathe to exercise her upper body strength. I.e., the naif vixen still disdains the distaff domain of her decolletage as she still studiously swaddles her torso in her high-necked garb de rigeur. Perhaps, FNC’s Harris Faulkner, will soon tutor her alabaster sister with a few pointers for fit femme fatales with a softer, sexier side.

*Fox & Friends Weekend - 05/28/11 (@ 5:40 a.m. ET)

Briggs Back But Forgotten: Dave Who?

Oops! Poor Dave. After being away from F&FW for only one week, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Dave Briggs found that his fame was all too fleeting today. To his chagrin and his colleagues’ amusement, a F&FW fan remembered all of the program regulars except Dave during a live weather segment.

Dave’s embarrassing episode occurred this morning shortly after he and his co-host Alisyn Camerota segued to meteorologist Rick Reichmuth for his weather forecast (third-hour-second-half). When Rick took the toss, he commented, “We’ve got some people out here. They were saying, ‘What is your outside segment today?’ And, I said, ‘You’re it.”* Laughing, a painfully prophetic Dave exclaimed, “Bummer, dude!”

Turning to the spokesperson of the group of fans, Rick queried, “And, you have coffee ever Saturday morning with us?” She answered, “I have coffee every morning with Clayton and with Alisyn and with you.” Perhaps, taking some umbrage at his omission from her list, an off-camera Dave coaxed, “And?” Not catching his cue, the fan continued, “And, with everybody else” (as the producers went to a split screen to include then include Dave and Aly).

Apparently, feeling a tad dissed, a wincing Dave shouted, “Ohhh!” before hiding his reddening visage behind a laughing Aly (who was leaning forward on the curvy couch). Subsequently, when Rick reminded the fan about Dave, Dave showed his face again and slapped his leg, declaring, “I got left out!” Meanwhile, co-anchor Clayton Morris, grinning from ear to ear, leaned into Dave and Aly’s shot and flashed the audience a big schadenfreude thumbs-up.

Realizing her gaffe, the F&FW fan apologized, saying, “I’m sorry. Sorry, Dave.” As Dave gaped in disbelief at his slight, Rick “charitably” asserted, “Dave, you’re the everybody else, man.” Following suit and feigning sympathy, Aly added, “You’re bigger than one person: you’re everybody.” Bowing his now humbled head, Dave humorously riposted, “I’m outta here. I’m walking off like Whoopi!”

Just make sure that you come back like Whoopi, Dave. Fox & Friends Weekend gold!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/05/11 (@ 8:37 a.m. ET)

Molly’s Bottom Line

Rick’s secret advice: “break a leg” or “show some leg”? As FNC correspondent Molly Line made her virgin appearance on Fox & Friends Weekend as a guest co-host, she received some sage off-camera advice from her former WFXT-FOX 25 (Boston, MA) colleauge, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth.* And, F&FW co-anchor Dave Briggs let the viewers in on it. Sorta.

As F&FW began, Dave introduced Alisyn Camerota’s sexy auburn-tressed substitute, Molly. Clad in her short, sleeveless M&M-green dress, she partially obscured her long gams by putting her laptop screen up (unlike her co-hosts, Dave and Clayton Morris). However, she seemed to coyly tease her viewers with her hem hiked just high enough to reveal a scintilla of her apparent Spanx shorts.

And, perhaps, Molly’s distaff display was no accident. Less than ten minutes later, when it was time for the weather forecast, a smiling Dave segued saying, “Let’s get to Rick Reichmuth, who just had the best advice for Molly Line this morning. Unfortunately, we cannot repeat what he said to her just a few moments ago.”** As Molly tittered, a laughing Rick exclaimed, “Watch it, Dave! Watch it!” Then, offering her fans a hint, Molly rejoined, “It was right along the lines of good luck. Right?”

Right along the lines of “good luck”? In the theater, “Break a leg!,” is a traditional good-luck wish (according to  Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable). And, with little doubt, Rick’s unrepeatable advice was a racy take on that entertainment exhortation. Perchance, rather than “break a leg, Molly,” it was “show some leg, Molly!” And, did she ever! In fact, she did him one better: she generously showed both of them–with pluck and aplomb.

Molly: Keeping the “Fox” in Fox & Friends Weekend!

[Author's aside: To keep up with Molly on Twitter, link here.]

*It was Molly’s first appearance on F&FW as co-anchor according to the author’s recollection.

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/20/11 (@ 6:09 a.m. ET)

Playbunny Aly Arouses

Rick Reichmuth: There’s about to be a wardrobe malfunction.” Clad in her cleavage-baring, sexy short red dress, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota got the rapt attention of FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth and the rest of her male admirers Saturday as she tried on a pink Hoodie-Footie Saturday during the After the Show Show. Having donned it during the regular show, apparently, Aly acted as if she were reluctant to try it on once again.

When the After the Show Show started, Dave asked where the Hoodie-Footie was. When Aly answered that she did not know, Dave theatrically walked off the set, searching for it and demanding that she “put it back on before we leave today.” As Dave sought her “mislaid” garb, Aly explained to viewers that co-anchors Dave and Clayton Morris had given it to her last year as a gift and that it looked basically like a giant bunny suit. Then, as producers played Shaftesque make-out music, a smiling Aly alluring elaborated, “Not the kind of bunny suit they have at Hugh Hefner’s place: it’s a different kind of bunny suit. This one I don’t think arouses quite the same interest level in the viewers.”

Soon thereafter, Dave finally returned with the Hoodie-Footie and handed it to Aly. As Aly struggled to slip her beautiful bare gams into the legs of the unwieldy suit, a staring Rick seemed mesmerized by F&FW’s sexy siren. As Aly continued to raise her stems in his direction in her attempts to don the Hoodie-Footie, Rick chuckled, “There is about to be a wardrobe malfunction going on right now.” No preening prig, Aly riposted, “I know, I appreciate…that you’re monitoring it closely. I see that, Rick. I notice.” Aptly interjecting, Dave declared, “We’re trying to drive viewership to the After the Show Show.”

Continuing to do just that, Dave asked Aly to pose for a photo with her leg up to show off the Footie. After Aly playfully complied and some subsequent casual chatter about the attributes of her attire ensued, Aly commented, “My body temperature has soared to about 105 right now. Just  putting it on, you get instantly hot in here.” Without a moment’s hesitation, Dave gazed down and grabbed his comely co-host’s foot, declaring, “Oh, wait a minute! You can unzip the feet if you have the hot–my wife has what’s called the hot feet [and] her feet get really hot. Sorry honey. Yeah, she calls them ‘the hot feet.’”

As Dave stripped Aly’s foot bare, Aly asserted, “I don’t really think we should show the viewers my toes.” Undeterred, Dave pulled her “stocking” off her foot and twirled it about like a cinematic ecdysiast and threw it suggestively toward the viewers. Looking on, Rick observed, “You have just a whole new search thing for Alisyn.” Alisyn added, “A whole new website. I love it!”

And, so do many of Aly’s faithful F&FW fans.

Rick Racked? Jessica’s “Dancing Muffins”

Dave Briggs’ Tweet: “Anybody else think @JessicaSimpson made @rickreichmuth nervous on ‘FOX & Friends?’” Yes, F&F Weekend meterologist Rick Reichmuth did seem rather rattled by Jessica Simpson today–at least, at one particular point, as he interviewed the busty pop princess prior to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. When discussing Jessica’s new Christmas record, Happy Christmas, Rick asked, “Are you going to be singing something from your album on a float today?”* Jessica answered, “I am. I’m singing the single. It’s called”My Only Wish.” Smiling, she added, “And, I have dancing muffins.”

Raising his eyebrows and grinning sheepishly, apparently, at her potentially salacious euphemism, i.e., muffins, Rick randily remarked, “Um. Tell me more!” Chuckling, Jessica replied, “I’m on the baked goods Morton Salt float.” In response, a seemingly somewhat disappointed Rick muttered, “Okay.” Explaining, Jessica continued,  “So, I’m going to have lots of, like, pies and muffins dancing around me.”

No double entendres there either, Rick.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/25/10 (@8:39 a.m. ET)

F&FW: The Times They Are A-Changing

The boys are still adjusting. Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota announced yesterday that F&FW now officially begins at 6:00 a.m. ET every Saturday and Sunday. Furthermore, co-anchor Dave Briggs clarified that the show has been extended to four hours and that the new format change is permanent. (Last weekend, Dave had said, “FOX & Friends is 6-10 ET tomorrow & every Sat/Sun in the near future.”)

Even though F&FW fans may welcome the extra time with their favorite co-anchors (Aly, Dave, and Clayton Morris) and meteorologist Rick Reichmuth, today, the F&FW guys, at least, were still getting used to that added hour. Dave welcomed viewers to the Saturday morning F&F; Clayton called Rick, “Mitch,” (the name of a former co-worker, probably Mitch English of the Daily Buzz); and Rick rued having a Henrick’s gin and tonic rather than sleeping the extra Standard time hour. Nevertheless, an excellent job by the boys and Aly as they adjust to the change.

Briggs: Welcome Aboard, Maria

Former Accuweather beauty Maria Molina made her debut on Fox & Friends Weekend Sunday. After making her virgin appearance as FNC’s new weather hire on the Fox Report Saturday evening, the busty brunette was introduced to F&FW audience by co-anchor Dave Briggs. As the first weather report was about to begin, Dave declared, “Rick Reichmuth [meteorologist] is out today: In his absence, we are very happy to welcome Maria Molina to the team….Glad to have you aboard.”*

Unfortunately, Dave did not give any real details about the approximately five-foot, long-locked lovely, who finally fills the vacancy left by Domenica Davis’ unceremonious departure. Neither did the other co-hosts, Alisyn Camerota or Peter Johnson, Jr., nor Maria herself. In fact, Fox News has yet to put her bio online.

The available information about Maria online seems scant thus far. The author has found that she is a bilingual broadcaster that gave both Spanish and English Accuweather reports and that she heralds from Miami Beach, Florida. FNC viewers should learn more as Maria fills in for FNC’s Janice Dean, “The Weather Machine,” this week.

Stay tuned.

Fox & Friends – 10/24/10 (@7:07 a.m. ET)

Clayton Likes 2 “Peep”

“Tasty treat,” Aly? Almost two years ago, Fox & Friends co-anchor Dave Briggs was exposed as a “leaf peeper” by the saucy Domenica Davis, F&FW‘s former guest weathergal: Today, it was co-host Clayton Morris who was likewise outed by a rather risque Rick Reichmuth, FNC’s chief meteorologist. After Rick ribbed him about liking to leaf peep during his first second hour weather forecast, Clayton racily remarked, “That’s peeping, not necessarily leaf peeping.”* (Regaled, co-anchor Alisyn Camerota closed her eyes, bowed her head, and laughed heartily: meanwhile, Dave beamed broadly, arched his eye brows, and rolled his eyes.)

Almost an hour and half later, perhaps, remembering his peculiar proclivity, Aly apparently found Clayton particularly appetizing. During a segment with an on-set, charity-auction bust of Kevin Bacon made of bacon, a clowning Clayton picked at the sculpture as if for an errant ort. Seemingly, amused at his antics, Aly instructed, “Just lick it, Clayton!”** Subsequently, as Dave coaxed Clayton into putting his face side-by-side with the sculpture, Dave noted, “Bacon Kevin Bacon and Clayton look a little bit alike.” Interjecting racily, Aly remarked, “You’re right. And, they both taste delicious. Two tasty treats!”

Aly, Ms. Del Conte would concur.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/09/10 (@8:07 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend - 10/09/10 (@9:32 a.m. ET)

Rick Reichmuth: M.I.A.

Fox & Friends Weekend’s Fall? On the very first autumn weekend, Fox & Friends Weekend‘s meteorologist Rick Reichmuth was missing: Noone seemed to notice. On-set colleagues, co-hosts Alisyn Camerota and Clayton Morris (and guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick) did not even mention Rick’s absence. More tellingly, F&FW producers offered no replacement for Rick nor did they feature any weather segment.

So, where is Rick Reichmuth? Not even officemate and BFF Dave Briggs seems to know. The F&FW co-anchor (apparently, not watching the program) ironically Tweeted, “Ahh to sleep in on a Saturday morning, miss you @ClaytonMorris, @rickreichmuth & @alyatfox.” So, do his F&FW viewers–the ones actually watching today.

Rick Reichmuth: M.I.A. Missing in Autumn. But, more importantly, Missing in Action. And, remarkably, without a clue, at least, to the Fox & Friends Weekend audience.

Update: Rick Reichmuth found. Tweeting in, Rick replied: “@Jakeho dude I’m sick as a dog. Horrible flu came on fast last night.”

F&FW Bromances: “Man Up”

Rick: “Dave, you’re my BFF.” When Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-anchor Eric “Jock Rocks” Bolling told co-host Dave Briggs to “man up,” that was not necessarily what he had in mind. When the former Pittsburg Pirate (and FBN Money Rocks anchor) told Dave to do just that during an office nap story, he was merely ribbing him for his penchant for sleeping during the work day: he had no idea that it would be a clarion call for the celebration of F&FW bromances.

Subsequently, during a second-hour segment on new Oxford American Dictionary words (including “bromance” and “BFF”), co-host Alisyn Camerota kidded Dave that she witnessed a bromance between him and their vacationing F&FW co-anchor Clayton Morris on the curvy couch every Saturday and Sunday. When producers shortly thereafter showed a clip of “I Love You, Man,” F&FW weatherguy Rick Reichmuth dared to disclose that he had been on a man-date with co-anchor Clayton Morris to that very movie. When Dave teased him about his bromance with Clayton, Rick gamely remarked that that was when it began. Adding her feminine fuel to the fire, Aly jested about the bromance buds’ discomfort of sharing popcorn. Seeming to have had enough of the discussion of this type of Fox News male love, Eric stood up and said, “I’m outta of here!”And, he was. [Of course, he came back.]

Later, bromance was in the air anew in the final hour as the co-hosts discussed the latest O.A.D. entries. Once again, Aly piqued Dave, joshing, “Well, bromance is obviously something you live every day, the bromance.”** Almost aping a schoolyard taunt, Dave lamely retorted, “And, your BFF, Rick.” As Eric groaned, “Oh, my goodness!,” Dave continued, “Is Rick your BFF? Or, does it have to be a female?” Meanwhile, Rick appeared in a split screen with the trio of co-hosts as Aly explained, “It has to be a girl.” Grinning, Rick interposed, “Dave, you’re my BFF.” As Eric smiled, rolled his eyes, and shook his head in disbelief,” a dimpled Dave declared, “Aww, I appreciate it, Ricky.”

Eric: not so much.

*Fox & Friends - 09/19/10 (@9:33 a.m. ET)

F&FW: More Courtney & Less Aly?

Reichmuth revelation? After Fox & Friends guest co-anchor Courtney Friel read a story Sunday about a breastfeeding mom who was ousted from McDonald’s and co-host Clayton Morris subsequently tossed to him, FNC meteorologist Rich Reichmuth jested, ““I’m just wondering now with [mom-to-be] Courtney there and [new father] Clayton, how many of these breastfeeding stories are there gonna be.”* In reply, Clayton deadpanned, “We’re actually building a whole block into the show now just for breastfeeding stories.” Laughing, Rick responded, “Of course.” Chiming in, co-anchor Dave Briggs joked, “We need a sponsor!” Perchance, aptly, Rick chuckled: “I know. I believe it. It’s perfect!”

Nothing would be unusual about Rick’s remark if he had uttered it at the beginning of the three-hour program (and, if his colleagues Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs had not then so readily embraced it). However, Rick made his comment with only twenty-two minutes, including commercial breaks, left in F&FW‘s last (and Courtney’s only) show of the weekend. Clearly, Rick indicated that a gravid Courtney’s presence would facilitate those future “breastfeeding stories.” And, Clayton and Dave’s respective remarks about creating a nursing “whole block” and obtaining a breastfeeding “sponsor” added credence to his implication.

Obviously, if Rick’s “revelation” rings true and Courtney returns to F&FW on a more regular basis, she would probably go back to her former role as newsreader or replace F&FW‘s current queen Alisyn Camerota. In that vein, could Aly’s apparent decision to possibly kybosh her blog, Alisyn in the Greenroom,  and to announce it Sunday before the show possibly indicate such a more tenuous relationship to Fox & Friends Weekend. Furthermore, was Dave’s comment at the beginning of F&F Sunday that Aly was taking off “a bit more than the President’s 27 hrs, a few more days than that” more pregnant with meaning that it first appeared to be?**

Conversely, Aly has played such an important role in righting the Fox & Friends Weekend ship after the defenestration debacle (of trio Page Hopkins, Kelly Wright, and Greg Kelly) and its aftermath (Ainsley Earnhardt, Clayton, and Dave) that it seems highly unlikely that FNC SVP of Programming Bill Shine would send Aly elsewhere or allow her to leave. However, it is conceivable if Shine thinks that her erstwhile wards, Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs, have grown sufficiently to carry the show with a less able captain. But, perish the thought!

*Fox & Friends Weekend - 08/15/10 (@9:39 a.m.)

**Fox & Friends Weekend - 08/15/10 (@6:01 a.m.)