Archive for the ‘Pop Culture’ Category

Stormy Maria: Inked Pink!

December 21, 2013

Molina reveals her secret “tart tatt”–nine months late. For Carpe Diem fans of the Fox News weather gal Maria Molina, a/k/a “Cosmo’s caliente Latina,” the revelation was a long time coming. Over nine months ago, the author noted the barbed pink/red ringlet adorning Maria, Tweeting her, “[I]s that a red “barb” tattoo or a beauty mark on your left wrist?” Not a word from the Nicaraguan nymph: Perhaps, the demure beauty thought that FNC was a tatt-free zone and she did not want to be dispatched posthaste like her comely “spanked and spurned” predecessor Domenica Davis.

Nevertheless, Monday, F&F newsreader Heather Nauert outed the demure damsel on F&F‘s After the Show Show. During the episode entitled, “Hidden talents,” with Maria, Heather, and co-hosts, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Steve Doocy, on the curvy couch,  Heather abruptly turned to Maria, teasing, “Give me your hand here! Give me your hand! What is that on your wrist?”*

Embarrassed, Maria initially pulled her arm away from Heather: Then, complying, she gave her hand to Heather. Subsequently, Heather (and Elisabeth) turned Maria’s arm for all of her F&F fans to see the reddish pink symbol inked on her wrist. Interjecting, Steve intoned, “Wait! Wait!…Oh, look at that: it’s a stamp!”

Chiming in, Heather added, “It looks like she was at a little club.”

Chagrined, Maria admitted, “It’s a tattoo.” Shyly, she subsequently explained, “It’s actually a tropical storm.” Then, she added, “It’s supposed to be Hurricane Andrew. And, that’s the reason I became a meteorologist.”

Sounds good–at least, to the parents. But, for ardent acolytes of the smoldering Maria Molina, her explanation seems almost too convenient. For those votaries of a tropical stormy Maria, her symbol looks almost a little like the inchoate etchings of Pamela Anderson’s racy barbed wire.

To quote Eminem, “Maybe, that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.” Maria, “love the way you lie.” Or, not.

[Author's aside: Aerosmith's Steven Tyler weighs in? "Pink is my favorite color."]

*A.S.S. (12/16/13) – @ 03:08/04:20

H/t: J$P. (Steve Doocy’s “shout-out” to J$.)

Victoria’s Secret Bra: F&F Falsie!

December 5, 2013

“Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, Mon. at 10 pm.” Not! Fox & Friends producers let their standards slip this morning when they gave Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show a free promo: They may have given their F&F fans a titillating tease with a personal appearance by Victoria’s Secret angel Candice Swanepoel and her $10 million dollar bra and highlights of the show–but they also gave them the wrong day!

When F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade introduced the segment with Swanepoel, viewers were treated to footage of the angels sashaying down the catwalk in scant attire and, subsequently, by a lingering look at the vaunted Victoria’s Secret $10,000,000 bra.* Simultaneously, a chyron proclaimed (for almost a full 30 seconds), “The Sexiest Night on TV! Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, Mon. at 10PM.” Oops: Actually, the V.S. Fashion Show is Tuesday at 10 p.m. ET.

Subsequently, Swanepoel and Brian did mention that the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show would air December 10th. However, neither noted the producers’ error and alerted the F&F audience that December 10th will be next Tuesday, not next Monday. Unfortunately, co-hosts Steve Doocy and Elisabeth Hasselbeck missed it, too.

Victoria’s Secret bra: nice. Fox & Friends falsie: naughty.

*Fox & Friends – 12/05/13 (@ 8:53 p.m. ET).

Huddy Returns: Sans Honey?

November 24, 2013

Oops: she did it again? Former F&FW co-anchor Juliet Huddy returned to the curvy couch this morning sans her engagement ring. Only three weeks ago, when she last guest-hosted F&FW, Juliet was surreptitiously sporting premarital bling on her ring finger: When she failed to disclose her new relationship status and her new fiance to her F&FW fans on the show, Carpe Diem reported her apparent betrothal to Steven Wright.

Over a week later, Juliet finally acknowledged her engagement to Wright albeit with a pixellated pic of him and her (kissing in Italy). Then, two days thereafter, she came clean, Tweeting a clear photo of her and her fellow. Proudly, she penned, “My…fiance.”

Strangely, today, (a mere nine days later), FNC’s carnal cougar forgets her connubial bejeweled band. Has the thrice-married lovely left yet another lover? If so, perhaps, “beau John Jordan” can give Juliet’s former Mr. Wright a few coping tips.

Juliet’s back! And, back on the market to boot? Stay tuned.

F&FW: Fox & Friends “Weakend”

November 10, 2013

Since she’s been gone. Hit the snooze button or grab a mimosa! Since the queen of the curvy couch Alisyn Camerota left Fox & Friends Weekend, the formerly must-see weekend morning news show has become almost a soporific sedative for even its most ardent acolytes.

About the only time the F&FW fan can now easily escape the embrace of the arms of Morpheus is whenever newbie blonde beauty Anna Kooiman delivers her “shot of expresso” as she frenetically frolics in one of her fun, frisky features [e.g., Cirque du Soleil "Wild Thing" (vid), "funkadelic" turbo-kicking tutor (vid), or leather-clad Daisy-Duke-driving wannabee (vid)]. Otherwise, the F&FW viewer is too oft served up a tepid potation of pontifical palaver by F&FW‘s new alpha male Tucker Carlson (whenever he deigns to appear on the curvy couch) or a similarly impotent echo from his now best beta bud Clayton Morris (when he is not aptly opining as the tech geek in residence).

Including FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth, F&FW “Three Men and a Baby”? Nah, “Three Boys and a Babe.” To paraphrase the inimitable Eminem, “It seems so empty without [Aly]!”

Tucker Carlson: F&FW’s Shelley Hack?

October 27, 2013

Clayton Morris: “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman welcomed increasingly frequent co-anchor Tucker Carlson fill-in Mike Jerrick with a spirited fist bump to the curvy couch. Heartily endorsing his predecessor and successor at FOX 29 Good Day (Philadelphia), Clayton Morris enthusiastically exclaimed, “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” And, no mention was made of Tucker then or for the rest of the show Saturday. Or Sunday–when Mike returned.

As the author mused today about yet another absence of Tucker and the fact that his co-anchors Anna and Clayton (or meteorologist Rick Reichmuth) did not even care to cite it, he recalled, perhaps, a revealing vignette last Sunday on F&FW of Tucker’s disconnect to the show. After a segue to his weather report, Rick ribbed Tucker about not being able to get off the floor in an earlier “fitness” segment: Chuckling, Tucker jested, “I’d fallen and I can’t [sic]  get up.”* Meanwhile, putting her hands over her eyes, Anna interjected, “So embarrassed about that video: we keep playing it.” In reply to both, perhaps, Rick declared, “We can’t let it go.”

Grinning, a gesticulating Tucker queried, “On normal TV shows, don’t they kind of prevent you from embarrassing yourself on TV?” Interposing, Clayton jested, “On normal TV shows, not on Fox & Friends!” Rick riposted, “[Inaudible] Tucker has not watched this show before he joined!” Smiling, Tucker conceded, “Yeah, apparently, not.”

Seven months ago to the very day, the rather cerebral Tucker officially was named the replacement of popular, unapologetically sentimental Dave Briggs on the curvy couch. It seemed a somewhat strange choice for a weekend show that is largely predicated on a personal nexus between the co-hosts and the audience. It appeared, especially, so in light of a F&FW signature analysis segment on January 12 (approximately two-and-half months earlier): F&FW “handwriting expert” Michelle Dresbold declared Tucker’s printed signature (“TSMC”) to indicate that he was not really letting anyone see too much of himself.** Concurring, Tucker acknowledged, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.”

Perhaps, too much so. What does the FOX say?

[Author's aside: Incidentally, after seven months as an official F&FW co-host, Tucker has still not added his FNC position to his Twitter rubric. Re "Shelley Hack" in the title of this post, supra, she was the single-season actress who replaced Kate Jackson as the "cerebral" Angel in Charlie's Angels and got bumped summarily when she did not connect with fans.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/26/13 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/12/13 (@ 9:48 a.m. ET)

Proud Anna [Kooiman]: “Nice and Rough”?

October 26, 2013

“‘Nice and easy': I’d like to do that for you….But we never, ever do nothing nice and easy: We always do it nice and rough!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman may know how to give up a “booty-shaking” performance [vid] a la Tina Turner as a rocking fitness instructor: But, if she is ever going to rule the F&FW curvy couch, she needs to learn from the “Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll” not only to translate her youthful enthusiasm and sexy energy into her new FNC gig but also to find a way to infuse her Southern niceness with a little old-time Tina “roughness.”

Too often, on the set with her co-anchors Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson (and/or Mike Jerrick), Anna seems to embody her beautiful, playful yellow lab Baxter–overly eager to please. She would do well to remember the success of past F&FW “alpha bitches” (e.g., Juliet Huddy, Alisyn Camerota (thrice), Kiran Chetry, and Page Hopkins) and the failure of another nice Carolinian F&FW anchor (Ainsley Earhardt). If Anna hopes ever to rival her predecessor Aly (to whom Clayton bid adieu, saying, “I have never worked with someone in a female capacity on the air who has been just as effortless and fantastic as you”), she must learn not to be cowed by Clayton’s cleverness and Tucker’s intellect (and/or Mike’s deftness).

In other words, don’t be afraid to be an F&FW “alpha bitch,” Anna: Dominate the boys with your smarts, wit, and sensuality.

[Author's aside: The subtitle, supra, is a quote from Tina Turner's introduction to her legendary Proud Mary (with her then husband, Ike Turner). As to the inclusion of Mike Jerrick, supra, he seems to be co-hosting F&FW with increasing frequency for the incorrigibly absent Tucker.]

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Who Dat?

September 29, 2013

FNC’s debutante: courtesy of the curvy couch. Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck made her debut on the show–and the network– almost two weeks ago. For many F&F viewers who expected F&FW co-host and usual F&F fill-in Alisyn Camerota to take her place on the curvy couch vacated by Gretchen Carlson, it came as a shock when FNC outsider Elisabeth was named the new co-anchor with Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy. Naturally, Executive Programming VP Bill Shine had to do some ‘splaining–or, at the very least–to introduce in some detail this new View gal to loyal F&F viewers: He chose the latter.

In so doing, Elisabeth was feted regally on set by Donald Trump, Sherri Shepherd, and Sean Hannity as they all effusively praised the new FNC celeb to her co-hosts and F&F fans. Attempting to endear Elisabeth further to their audience, Steve and Brian elicited bio details from the blond beauty. And for those viewers who have not seen her in Survivor, The Look for Less (Style Network), or The View, a closer look was surely warranted.

Ergo, during the course of this her inaugural show, Elisabeth and her co-hosts provided the following personal info. The athletic lovely played point guard at Bay View Academy (East Providence) and softball at Boston College; studied studio art at BC; met hubby Tim Hasselbeck (then future NFL quarterback) there and married him in 2002 after about five years of dating; and even designed shoes for a while (for Puma). Of course, they also reminded viewers that Elisabeth had been on the aforementioned shows. (On a more “intimate” level, the mother of three revealed to those who thought that she was a natural towhead that she had dyed her hair brown as a college sophomore or junior–or, not!)

Good start! And, good luck, Elisabeth!

Fox & Friends’ Hasselbeck: The New View

September 17, 2013

Brian Kilmeade: “It’s time for a new day.” Yesterday, former View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck succeeded Gretchen Carlson as the new queen of the curvy couch. After being unceremoniously snubbed by Gretch Friday, Elisabeth returned the favor by not even alluding to her predecessor (even re the segments on the new Miss America winner): The return slight was made all the more conspicuous since Gretchen was excitedly celebrating her silver anniversary as Miss America. Perhaps, Elisabeth was simply letting the past be the past: After all, FNC had just created a new studio for the “high maintenance” lovely according to Judge Andrew Napolitano.*

The Survivor siren definitely has the potential to be a successful F&F co-host: She’s bright, tough, and beautiful–and she certainly has the requisite gorgeous gams to boot. Furthermore, she surely has the right mentality about the F&F family but she took the metaphor a mite too far in her tease preview vid when she deemed her co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade to be like “my brothers”: obviously, F&F uses sexual tension, real or feigned, between the boys and the gal to help propel ratings.

But, apparently, as Brian said in the opening to the latest F&F iteration Monday, “It’s time for a new day.” Hopefully, F&F can keep its natural feel and flow even with the new gal and the new set (that looks somewhat like the one at CNN’s New Day re the imposing window and gigantic couch, ironically). However, if it assumes a highbrow Upper East Side vibe, its more humble flyover fans may be less apt to follow as assiduously as they usually do.

Good luck, Elisabeth! And, welcome to the show!

[Author's aside: Elisabeth jokingly referred to herself as "high maintenance" when Judge Napolitano suggested that FNC had built a new F&F studio for the blond beauty.]

*Fox & Friends – 09/16/13 (@ 6:36 a.m. ET)

Carol Alt’s New Show: Easy, Sexy–and, RAW!

September 11, 2013

A work in progress–hopefully! Former supermodel Carol Alt debuted her new afternoon FNC weekend show A Healthy You & Carol Alt Saturday with a cornucopia of information for her fans, fellow fitness freaks, and the casual viewer.* Unfortunately, the haut couture beauty seemed to think that she was filming a thirty-minute infomercial instead of debuting FNC’s next big hit–chirping constantly about herself, her health ken, and whatever else she could think of–proving the adage that silence is, or certainly can be, golden.

Carol’s start out-of-the-gate was assuredly awkward: But, she brought her game–at least, as to her knowledge of health. Now, the former Sports Illustrated and Playboy cover girl needs to step it up with her presentation–less self-promo and more edutainment. In other words, slow down, Carol, take a breath, and talk about your passion with your fans–not at them.

Good luck, Carol! Hope your new show is a success!

[Author's aside: "Easy, Sexy--and, RAW!," supra, is a less than subtle allusion to Carol's book Easy Sexy Raw.]

*A Healthy You & Carol Alt – 09/07/13 (@ 4:00 p.m. ET)

Megyn: AE’s Secret, Shep’s Gaffe & Cine Cameo?

September 7, 2013

Memorable musings: Ainsley Earhardt hawks bikini babe; Shepard Smith shuns Fox News viewing; and Megyn Kelly cameos in Assange movie! Things the author should have probably said–yesterday.

On August 11, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley divulged perhaps the “secret formula” for the storied success of FNC. After two too cute segments, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth remarked, “I think [that] we need to make a split screen of that baby and the panda bears: Yeah, and then just watch that all day long.” Concurring, anchor Tucker Carlson concurred, “That’s ratings gold.” Smiling racily, Ainsley added, “Put a girl in a bikini in the third slot, and there you go: Babies, pets, and girls!…This is what we learned in journalism school.”*

Five days later, as a Studio B segment concluded, host Shep unapologetically revealed, “I’m not much of a TV guy….There’s the Yankees, the Rebels, and the True Blood: That’s it! Nothing else!” Perhaps, after a word in his ear from producers, Shep hastily added, “Ah, and Megyn! I watch Megyn: She’s on vacation so I don’t have to watch her right now.”**

Yesterday, during his Fox & Friends review of the Toronto International Film Festival flicks, NerdTears.com film critic Kevin McCarthy disclosed that “Megyn Kelly makes an appearance” in The Fifth Estate, an Assange cine, which opens to the public on October 18. Elaborating, he said, “They have some news footage of her talking about the Wikileaks story….She’s in the movie a little bit from Fox News.”***

Trio’s musings import? Megyn Maxim, er, GQ goddess!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/11/13 (@ 8:39 p.m. ET)

**Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/16/13 (@ 3:55 p.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 09/06/13 (@ 8:25 a.m. ET)

Cuomo Tweaks “Really Dumb” Carlson Twerk?

August 31, 2013

Flexin’ Fetchin’ Gretchen: “This [twerk] seems more like a hula!” Yesterday, CNN’s New Day co-anchor Chris Cuomo appeared ready for bear as he took aim at his FNC Fox & Friends rival Gretchen Carlson seemingly Friday. On the very day after the Huffington Post mocked Gretchen for her twerking a la Miley Cyrus on air Thursday, Chris seemed strangely eager to get in a sharp jab at Gretchen.

When a ND story on the birth of panda twins in Atlanta began to wrap Friday, Chris stammered, “I don’t believe, I think it’s really dumb when you see these newscasters trying to twerk.”* Pointing his finger at his audience for added emphasis, he continued, “But, I do believe it is not done very cute and we should try best panda sound.” Smiling dismissively, his co-host Kate Bolduan riposted, “I can not believe [that] you made a twerk/panda reference!” Paying her little mind at most, Chris answered, “Of course, when you see them trying that, you’re like, ‘why are they doing that?'”

Perhaps, Chris, Gretchen is twerking toward that full twelve years for F&F as “king of the hill.” Who knows? If Kate follows suit, she might well give ND, at least, a fighting chance against FNC’s inimical juggernaut.

[Author's aside: Gretchen's quote in the subtitle was the remark that she made after briefly trying to twerk, supra.**]

*New Day – 08/30/13 (@ 7:46 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 08/29/13 (@ 7:48 a.m. ET)

Oops! F&F’s All-American Summer “Scat” Series?

August 19, 2013

Unedited “Rough and Ready” (“a**hole”): Bob Beckel bumper music? Today, Fox & Friends seemingly turned their song selection over again to The Five‘s filter-intolerant co-host (the big bumptious one who seems to continuously soil FNC’s afternoon airwaves with scatalogical expletives). Last month (July 10)F&F producers carelessly closed a baseball segment to the tune of “Boys Round Here” as Blake Shelton sang “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Today, they one upped–or one downed–themselves: They teased an upcoming “Shot of the Day” segment to “Rough and Ready” as Trace Adkins raucously belted out, “Got a what are you looking at? A**hole smirk.”*

Strangely, no apologies were offered when F&F resumed after the commercial break. Oops: Another F&F Bob-ble!

[Author's aside: According to HuffPo, J$P caught Bob's third "'s' word in recent memory" last Wednesday: If the author heard him correctly, Bob said it for a fourth time last Friday after hurting his hand at the close of his The Five segment (08/16/13 - @ 5:52 p.m. ET).]

*F&F – 08/19/13 (@ 8:27 a.m. ET)

Gretchen Flashes: Her “Persecuted” Lines

August 5, 2013

Carlson: “This is called the ‘call sheet': And, you…have to have x-ray vision to read it.” Oops! Inadvertently or not, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson revealed two pages of her dialogue in the upcoming movie Persecuted this morning on her show.* In her first F&F segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the news diva touted her upcoming anchor role in the “Christian-based thriller.”

Before reading one of her Persecuted lines, Gretchen held up her papers, saying, “This is what they give you: This is called the ‘call sheet,’ and you…have…x-ray vision to read it.” Flipping through two pages for the camera’s eye, she added, “Here’s all the lines that I, this was my scene.”

No x-ray vision needed! Happily, even though the author is assuredly no Superman, he was able to capture the text of the two pages of Gretchen’s “call sheet” for the Carpe Diem reader. Her dialogue with star James Remar (John, the “persecuted” evangelist) is as follows:

2 CONTINUED:

DIANA LUCAS (CONT’D)

…But there are some who claim that your ministry is intolerant — even condescending towards other faiths –some in Washington have said your crusades may even threaten the freedom of others. . .

John a long pause, looking away toward camera, methodically. Tone shift.

JOHN: Diana, if I thought for a second I could look down on anyone else or their beliefs, I wouldn’t be sitting here. Do you have any idea who I was before I became what I am today?

DIANA LUCAS: I. . .

JOHN: I’m not a Republican or a Democrat. I don’t belong to any particular denomination, and I have no better personal history than your viewers.(leaning in) Did you know that I have a criminal record?

DIANA LUCAS: Can’t say that I did although it is public record isn’t it?

JOHN: You see our media has a way of elevating those in the spotlight to some kind of superhuman fantasy of what they’d like to see or become. You know what kinda person I was? Who I really was?

(CONTINUED)

2 CONTINUED: (3)

DIANA LUCAS: (cutting in) –And I quote, “To publicly declare your religious beliefs is a way that permits equal time and respect to other systems of faith?”

With his voice striking the perfect, sober note, like he takes no pleasure whatsoever in making this statement. Tragic. Unfortunate.

JOHN: Freedom is fragile and costly. It must constantly be protected and defended by work and faith. (pause) And, even by blood.

DIANA LUCAS: If it comes down to it, will you fall on your sword over this?

JOHN: What I’m saying is, if you take away a man’s freedom to speak his mind in a country founded on that very principle, then we have no country at all. You see, there’s no sword left to fall on. . .

*Fox & Friends - 08/05/13 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

Giddy Gretchen: “Persecuted” Indeed!

August 5, 2013

Carlson: “I can’t tell you how difficult it was.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson reveled in her new-found status as “movie star” (as her co-host Steve Doocy charitably deemed her).* Revealing her anchor role in the movie Persecuted, a “Christian based-thriller,” during a segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the ever modest Gretchen declared, “Some people would be intimidated to come on our set and ad lib for three hours and do a bunch of interviews and have to talk about a lot of political stuff and keep it all in your head: But, when you have to memorize scripts, I can’t, I can’t tell you how difficult it was.”**

Subsequently, Gretchen disclosed that she would play the role of anchor Diana Lucas in Persecuted. After reading one of her cine lines thereafter (at Steve’s request), she announced that Persecuted would premiere in New York in January, hopefully, and it would also premier in Los Angeles and Albuquerque.

In the final hour of F&F, Gretchen got a second “Gretchen’s Movie Debut” puff piece.* As it concluded, Steve jested, “Fantastic! Well, another line for your resume: Movie star!” Arching her head cockily, Gretchen concurred, “Yeah!”

*Fox & Friends – 08/05/13 (@ 8:32 a.m. ET). [Vid via J$P.]

**Ibid at @ 6:31 a.m. ET.

[Author’s aside: Carpe Diem readers should not be surprised by Gretchen’s announcement today: the author deduced that she would probably “star” in Persecuted eleven days ago.

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”?

July 25, 2013

Religion, politics, and scandal: fact or fiction? No, Persecuted is not a biopic of the Fox & Friends co-host oft lampooned by Saturday Night Live or facilely skewered by Jon Stewart. But, it might just be the name of the major film that she said that she would be filming within the next ten days today in the After the Show Show. [Vid via J$P.]

As A.S.S. started this morning, F&F co-hosts Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade and FNC meteorologist Marina Molina sat together on the curvy couch. As usual, Brian Kilmeade left almost immediately to go to his Kilmeade & Friends radio show. Shortly, thereafter, Gretchen started to arise, saying, “I’m going off to shoot a movie, actually: So, I’ll see you in about ten days.”

Seemingly, on cue, Steve asked, “In a movie? What kind of movie?” Gleefully, Gretchen answered, “Yeah. A major motion picture.”

As Gretchen walked off the set, Steve queried, “What are you gonna do?” Coyly, Gretchen replied, “It’s a secret!” Following up, Steve asked, “Are you gonna be like the local newsperson or an anchorperson?” Gretchen responded, “Something like that.”

Probing, Steve demanded, “Where are they filming the movie?” Gretchen insisted, “It’s a secret!” “Albuquerque, New Mexico?” Steve persisted.

As Gretchen ignored Steve’s question, Maria queried, “What made you pick that location?” Putting his hand to his forehead suggestively, Steve said, “A voice in my head!” Apparently, to their F&F producers, Maria laughed, “Oh, you told him!”

According to a New Mexico Film Office press release, “feature Persecuted” began mid-July and will end in early August in Albuquerque. Gretchen’s probable “major motion picture” is co-produced by Oscar-winning Gray Frederickson (Apocalypse Now and Godfather) and includes actors, James Remar (Django: Unchained, X-Men: First Class, etc.); Bruce Davison (Lost, X-Men, etc.), and Fred Thompson (Die Hard 2 and Law & Order and former U.S Senator of Tennessee). (The plot revolves around an evangelist framed by a Senator for the murder of a young girl and the persecution that inevitably ensues.)

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”? Or, will she, perhaps, “Transcend” it all?

H/t: J$P.

Fox & Friends Fail: “Sh*t” Hits the Fans

July 10, 2013

And “the fan,” too? Today, Fox & Friends fans were the victims of a scatological aural assault this morning. Even though some may have felt that way when they first heard that heir apparent F&F Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota was snubbed in favor of outsider ABC View babe Elisabeth Hasselback (for Gretchen Carlson‘s seat on the curvy couch), they actually were accosted with it as F&F transitioned to its final half hour after a baseball segment with erstwhile NY Mets pitcher Al Leiter.

When co-anchor Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy completed their interview of Leiter, Gretchen teased the final thirty minutes: When she had finished, the camera panned back to the trio on the mock field as producers aired Blake Shelton’s “Boys Round Here.” Apparently, someone had forgot to read the lyrics: As the final seconds ran, Blake is heard singing, “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Someone hit the mute button but to no avail: the damage had been done.

Today, the “sh*t” hit the fans. Did it hit their fan, too? Time will tell.

[Author's aside: In a classy response to her fervid fans who thought that she had been slighted, Aly Tweeted, "Hi Everyone -- thanks for the kind words of support. Stay tuned... I'll tweet more soon."]

Huddy Factor: Hoboken “Hypocrite”?

June 18, 2013

“Did You See That?”: Do I have to explain why it’s been banned! FNC correspondent and O’Reilly Factor regular Juliet Huddy oddly decried the horrors of a sexy British Pamela Anderson advertisement last Wednesday.* The former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host who readily relishes the ribald humor of her erstwhile Fox & Friends Weekend co-host and best bud Mike Jerrick would seem to be an unlikely proponent of banning racy commercials. But, on her Factor “Did You See That?” segment, she sportingly played the part of censorship queen: And, for fans of the thrice-married proud cougar, her priggish pontifications appeared humorous at best.

During her weekly appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s eponymous show, Juliet was asked to opine on the banning of the rather risque British advert which starred buxom biz babe Pamela Anderson and her similarly endowed tarty underling cavorting in cream in a male colleague’s fantasy. After playing a controversial clip of the commercial censored as being “sexist and degrading to women,” O’Reilly remarked, “And, here now to explain why that ad has been banned is Juliet Huddy.” Appearing to feign outrage, Juliet exclaimed, “Do I have to explain why it’s been banned! Really!”

Subsequently, as another snippet started to air, O’Reilly jested, “I thought it was a milk commercial.” Laughing heartily, Juliet interjected, “I, I mean, I have to say.” Before she could continue, O’Reilly added, “So, it’s raunchy and suggestive but…Great Britain has a lot of that stuff. So…why did they pull this?”

Guffawing and giggling, Juliet declared, “Right thing, justifiably so! They felt that it’s sexist and objectifies women!”

Unconvinced, O’Reilly persisted, “Look, all I know is that…in England, particularly in London, they run a lot of raunchy stuff all over the place.”

Taking O’Reilly to task, Juliet jibed, “So, you’re upset that this ad is being banned?”

Defensively, raising his hand, O’Reilly retorted, “I’m not upset. I don’t care! I’m apathetic when it comes to this.”

Moralizing comically, Juliet riposted, “I think you do, Bill! Or, we wouldn’t have this on the show if you didn’t care!”

“Did you see that?” Indeed. Juliet: not necessarily O’Reilly fiercest “Culture Warrior.”

*O’Reilly Factor – 06/12/13 (8:50 a.m. ET)

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle’s “Basic Instinct”

June 15, 2013

Juan Williams: “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him!” Saucy Kimberly Guilfoyle scored on more than a few levels with her Five co-hosts and fans in her “bowdlerized” Basic Instinct display of last week. As Kimberly revealed her dominance in b’ball on Friday (06/07/13), she brought “rowwr power” to a whole new level.

In the Five segment designed to showcase the co-anchors shot-making prowess–or lack thereof (a la toddler Titus Ashby’s shellacking of Shaq on Jimmy Kimmel) co-hosts Kimberly, Juan, Eric Bolling, Andrea Tantaros and fill-in Brian Kilmeade took turns at throwing mini-basketballs at a small toy goal.* Starting off their friendly rivalry to see who could score the most points in twenty seconds, Brian supplied several balls to Kimberly. As the short-skirted lovely began to lob them at the basket with much success, Brian scurried to and fro to deliver them back to San Francisco’s comely former first lady.

Clapping enthusiastically, an adoring Juan exclaimed, “Yeah, Kimberly! Oh! Oh! Go, Kimberly, go! Rack ‘em up!” As Kimberly eagerly scrambled for the balls and gave viewers and Brian a PG-rated Basic Instinct, she was given more than double the time that she had been actually allotted. As Kimberly began to score with alacrity, literally and figuratively, Five rival beauty Andrea exclaimed, “Who’s keeping score?”

Subsequently, an apparently addled Juan threw more than a few air balls in his ill-fated attempt to match Kimberly. When former Pittsburg Pirate draftee Eric Bolling tried to get his “game on,” comely Kimberly kicked her right gam up Rockette-style. Pointing to his gorgeous colleague, an ardent Juan declared, “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him! You can’t kick your legs to distract him!”

Apparently, Kimberly must have done so. As Eric completed his feckless effort, Kimberly pulled her hiked skirt back down and raised her hands in triumph, exclaiming, “Oh, yeah! Wooh, hooh!” Subsequently, when Andrea begin her successful distaff attempt, Kimberly shouted, “Go! Girls rule! Yeah!” And, they did.

Futilely, sports guy Brian tried to compete thereafter with little success. When he had finished, he queried, “Do we have a winner, control room?” After the producers seemingly whispered in his ear, Brian declared, “Kimberly and Andrea have tied.” Apparently, abandoning his formerly “so hot” Andrea for the moment, Juan raised Kimberly’s hand high in the air in victory, proclaiming her “the champ.”

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle: “The girl [just] can’t help it!”

*The Five – 06/08/13 @5:40 p.m. ET (Saturday re-airing of prior day)

[Author’s aside: Sorry, CR readers for the delay: “Cleaning Out My Closet.”

Purring Aly Cat: “With…a Leash in My Teeth?”

June 8, 2013

C.O.M.A. today: But, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota decidedly heated up the set last Sunday with her wicked game. After a cute headline news story with a dog walking a horse by a lead, co-host Clayton Morris pruriently queried, “You ever walk a stallion like that?” Always one to enjoy a double entendre, Aly coquettishly riposted, “With, with, uh, a leash in my teeth?” Pausing for affect, she bawdily added, “No, I haven’t. Strangely!” As she chuckled heartily at her own Mae West wit, a goatish Clayton grinned as their almost clueless co-host Tucker Carlson remarked, “Well, I have.”

*Fox & Friends Sunday – 06/02/13 (@ 6:31 a.m. ET)

[Author's aside: C.O.M.A. double entendre explained: "Cleaning Out My Attic"-- and coma (dull day today).]

Aly: “I’m Gonna Come Back!” Not!

June 4, 2013

Oops! She did it again–but, even worse! Yesterday, Fox & Friends fill-in Alisyn Camerota overslept and was half an hour late for the show: Today, she did not even make her promised return!

Substituting for the frequently absent Gretchen Carlson Monday, a chagrined Aly made her appearance on the program tardy by more than thirty minutes: After initially jesting that she had run off with the band Lonestar (F&F’s Friday summer concert band with Aly as sexy cowbell belle), she blamed it on her Blackberry alarm not going off and her malfunctioning internal alarm clock. Aptly, she said that she was sorry to her co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, and emergency sub Ainsley Earhardt and asked for her audience’s forgiveness, saying, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Much later, when the show was about to end, Steve alluded anew to Aly’s faux pas, saying, “Well, you know, things started, Aly actually didn’t look like [she] was going to make the show because the alarm didn’t go off.”* Deadpanning, Aly mischievously asked, “Is that the story [that] you are going with?” Smiling, Steve riposted, “Well, that’s what you told us!” Licking her upper lip impishly, Aly answered, “Oh! I didn’t know if we were going with the tour bus story or the alarm clock. I like both!”

Subsequently, as usual, Brian teased the next day’s show, announcing F&F‘s upcoming guests (Dr. Oz, Senator Marco Rubio, Miranda Kerr, and Laura Ingraham). Touting Tuesday’s show further, Steve remarked, “It’s a fantastic show.” In concert, raising her left hand for emphasis immediately, Aly declared, “I’m gonna come back!” Concluding, Steve exclaimed, “Alright!”: Turning to his F&F viewers, he added, “And, we hope you do, too!”

Unfortunately for Aly’s fans who returned to F&F today, their lovely lady was not true to her word. I.e., she did not return. On the bright side today, a second South Carolina “Morning Glory,” Anna Kooiman, was there today to arouse them at the break of the dawn.

*Fox & Friends – 06/03/13 (@ 8:59 a.m ET)


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