Archive for the ‘Pop Culture’ Category

Fox & Friends’ Hasselbeck: The New View

September 17, 2013

Brian Kilmeade: “It’s time for a new day.” Yesterday, former View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck succeeded Gretchen Carlson as the new queen of the curvy couch. After being unceremoniously snubbed by Gretch Friday, Elisabeth returned the favor by not even alluding to her predecessor (even re the segments on the new Miss America winner): The return slight was made all the more conspicuous since Gretchen was excitedly celebrating her silver anniversary as Miss America. Perhaps, Elisabeth was simply letting the past be the past: After all, FNC had just created a new studio for the “high maintenance” lovely according to Judge Andrew Napolitano.*

The Survivor siren definitely has the potential to be a successful F&F co-host: She’s bright, tough, and beautiful–and she certainly has the requisite gorgeous gams to boot. Furthermore, she surely has the right mentality about the F&F family but she took the metaphor a mite too far in her tease preview vid when she deemed her co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade to be like “my brothers”: obviously, F&F uses sexual tension, real or feigned, between the boys and the gal to help propel ratings.

But, apparently, as Brian said in the opening to the latest F&F iteration Monday, “It’s time for a new day.” Hopefully, F&F can keep its natural feel and flow even with the new gal and the new set (that looks somewhat like the one at CNN’s New Day re the imposing window and gigantic couch, ironically). However, if it assumes a highbrow Upper East Side vibe, its more humble flyover fans may be less apt to follow as assiduously as they usually do.

Good luck, Elisabeth! And, welcome to the show!

[Author's aside: Elisabeth jokingly referred to herself as "high maintenance" when Judge Napolitano suggested that FNC had built a new F&F studio for the blond beauty.]

*Fox & Friends – 09/16/13 (@ 6:36 a.m. ET)

Carol Alt’s New Show: Easy, Sexy–and, RAW!

September 11, 2013

A work in progress–hopefully! Former supermodel Carol Alt debuted her new afternoon FNC weekend show A Healthy You & Carol Alt Saturday with a cornucopia of information for her fans, fellow fitness freaks, and the casual viewer.* Unfortunately, the haut couture beauty seemed to think that she was filming a thirty-minute infomercial instead of debuting FNC’s next big hit–chirping constantly about herself, her health ken, and whatever else she could think of–proving the adage that silence is, or certainly can be, golden.

Carol’s start out-of-the-gate was assuredly awkward: But, she brought her game–at least, as to her knowledge of health. Now, the former Sports Illustrated and Playboy cover girl needs to step it up with her presentation–less self-promo and more edutainment. In other words, slow down, Carol, take a breath, and talk about your passion with your fans–not at them.

Good luck, Carol! Hope your new show is a success!

[Author's aside: "Easy, Sexy--and, RAW!," supra, is a less than subtle allusion to Carol's book Easy Sexy Raw.]

*A Healthy You & Carol Alt – 09/07/13 (@ 4:00 p.m. ET)

Megyn: AE’s Secret, Shep’s Gaffe & Cine Cameo?

September 7, 2013

Memorable musings: Ainsley Earhardt hawks bikini babe; Shepard Smith shuns Fox News viewing; and Megyn Kelly cameos in Assange movie! Things the author should have probably said–yesterday.

On August 11, Fox & Friends Weekend guest co-host Ainsley divulged perhaps the “secret formula” for the storied success of FNC. After two too cute segments, F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth remarked, “I think [that] we need to make a split screen of that baby and the panda bears: Yeah, and then just watch that all day long.” Concurring, anchor Tucker Carlson concurred, “That’s ratings gold.” Smiling racily, Ainsley added, “Put a girl in a bikini in the third slot, and there you go: Babies, pets, and girls!…This is what we learned in journalism school.”*

Five days later, as a Studio B segment concluded, host Shep unapologetically revealed, “I’m not much of a TV guy….There’s the Yankees, the Rebels, and the True Blood: That’s it! Nothing else!” Perhaps, after a word in his ear from producers, Shep hastily added, “Ah, and Megyn! I watch Megyn: She’s on vacation so I don’t have to watch her right now.”**

Yesterday, during his Fox & Friends review of the Toronto International Film Festival flicks, NerdTears.com film critic Kevin McCarthy disclosed that “Megyn Kelly makes an appearance” in The Fifth Estate, an Assange cine, which opens to the public on October 18. Elaborating, he said, “They have some news footage of her talking about the Wikileaks story….She’s in the movie a little bit from Fox News.”***

Trio’s musings import? Megyn Maxim, er, GQ goddess!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 08/11/13 (@ 8:39 p.m. ET)

**Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/16/13 (@ 3:55 p.m. ET)

***Fox & Friends – 09/06/13 (@ 8:25 a.m. ET)

Cuomo Tweaks “Really Dumb” Carlson Twerk?

August 31, 2013

Flexin’ Fetchin’ Gretchen: “This [twerk] seems more like a hula!” Yesterday, CNN’s New Day co-anchor Chris Cuomo appeared ready for bear as he took aim at his FNC Fox & Friends rival Gretchen Carlson seemingly Friday. On the very day after the Huffington Post mocked Gretchen for her twerking a la Miley Cyrus on air Thursday, Chris seemed strangely eager to get in a sharp jab at Gretchen.

When a ND story on the birth of panda twins in Atlanta began to wrap Friday, Chris stammered, “I don’t believe, I think it’s really dumb when you see these newscasters trying to twerk.”* Pointing his finger at his audience for added emphasis, he continued, “But, I do believe it is not done very cute and we should try best panda sound.” Smiling dismissively, his co-host Kate Bolduan riposted, “I can not believe [that] you made a twerk/panda reference!” Paying her little mind at most, Chris answered, “Of course, when you see them trying that, you’re like, ‘why are they doing that?’”

Perhaps, Chris, Gretchen is twerking toward that full twelve years for F&F as “king of the hill.” Who knows? If Kate follows suit, she might well give ND, at least, a fighting chance against FNC’s inimical juggernaut.

[Author's aside: Gretchen's quote in the subtitle was the remark that she made after briefly trying to twerk, supra.**]

*New Day – 08/30/13 (@ 7:46 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 08/29/13 (@ 7:48 a.m. ET)

Oops! F&F’s All-American Summer “Scat” Series?

August 19, 2013

Unedited “Rough and Ready” (“a**hole”): Bob Beckel bumper music? Today, Fox & Friends seemingly turned their song selection over again to The Five‘s filter-intolerant co-host (the big bumptious one who seems to continuously soil FNC’s afternoon airwaves with scatalogical expletives). Last month (July 10)F&F producers carelessly closed a baseball segment to the tune of “Boys Round Here” as Blake Shelton sang “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Today, they one upped–or one downed–themselves: They teased an upcoming “Shot of the Day” segment to “Rough and Ready” as Trace Adkins raucously belted out, “Got a what are you looking at? A**hole smirk.”*

Strangely, no apologies were offered when F&F resumed after the commercial break. Oops: Another F&F Bob-ble!

[Author's aside: According to HuffPo, J$P caught Bob's third "'s' word in recent memory" last Wednesday: If the author heard him correctly, Bob said it for a fourth time last Friday after hurting his hand at the close of his The Five segment (08/16/13 - @ 5:52 p.m. ET).]

*F&F – 08/19/13 (@ 8:27 a.m. ET)

Gretchen Flashes: Her “Persecuted” Lines

August 5, 2013

Carlson: “This is called the ‘call sheet’: And, you…have to have x-ray vision to read it.” Oops! Inadvertently or not, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson revealed two pages of her dialogue in the upcoming movie Persecuted this morning on her show.* In her first F&F segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the news diva touted her upcoming anchor role in the “Christian-based thriller.”

Before reading one of her Persecuted lines, Gretchen held up her papers, saying, “This is what they give you: This is called the ‘call sheet,’ and you…have…x-ray vision to read it.” Flipping through two pages for the camera’s eye, she added, “Here’s all the lines that I, this was my scene.”

No x-ray vision needed! Happily, even though the author is assuredly no Superman, he was able to capture the text of the two pages of Gretchen’s “call sheet” for the Carpe Diem reader. Her dialogue with star James Remar (John, the “persecuted” evangelist) is as follows:

2 CONTINUED:

DIANA LUCAS (CONT’D)

…But there are some who claim that your ministry is intolerant — even condescending towards other faiths –some in Washington have said your crusades may even threaten the freedom of others. . .

John a long pause, looking away toward camera, methodically. Tone shift.

JOHN: Diana, if I thought for a second I could look down on anyone else or their beliefs, I wouldn’t be sitting here. Do you have any idea who I was before I became what I am today?

DIANA LUCAS: I. . .

JOHN: I’m not a Republican or a Democrat. I don’t belong to any particular denomination, and I have no better personal history than your viewers.(leaning in) Did you know that I have a criminal record?

DIANA LUCAS: Can’t say that I did although it is public record isn’t it?

JOHN: You see our media has a way of elevating those in the spotlight to some kind of superhuman fantasy of what they’d like to see or become. You know what kinda person I was? Who I really was?

(CONTINUED)

2 CONTINUED: (3)

DIANA LUCAS: (cutting in) –And I quote, “To publicly declare your religious beliefs is a way that permits equal time and respect to other systems of faith?”

With his voice striking the perfect, sober note, like he takes no pleasure whatsoever in making this statement. Tragic. Unfortunate.

JOHN: Freedom is fragile and costly. It must constantly be protected and defended by work and faith. (pause) And, even by blood.

DIANA LUCAS: If it comes down to it, will you fall on your sword over this?

JOHN: What I’m saying is, if you take away a man’s freedom to speak his mind in a country founded on that very principle, then we have no country at all. You see, there’s no sword left to fall on. . .

*Fox & Friends - 08/05/13 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

Giddy Gretchen: “Persecuted” Indeed!

August 5, 2013

Carlson: “I can’t tell you how difficult it was.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson reveled in her new-found status as “movie star” (as her co-host Steve Doocy charitably deemed her).* Revealing her anchor role in the movie Persecuted, a “Christian based-thriller,” during a segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the ever modest Gretchen declared, “Some people would be intimidated to come on our set and ad lib for three hours and do a bunch of interviews and have to talk about a lot of political stuff and keep it all in your head: But, when you have to memorize scripts, I can’t, I can’t tell you how difficult it was.”**

Subsequently, Gretchen disclosed that she would play the role of anchor Diana Lucas in Persecuted. After reading one of her cine lines thereafter (at Steve’s request), she announced that Persecuted would premiere in New York in January, hopefully, and it would also premier in Los Angeles and Albuquerque.

In the final hour of F&F, Gretchen got a second “Gretchen’s Movie Debut” puff piece.* As it concluded, Steve jested, “Fantastic! Well, another line for your resume: Movie star!” Arching her head cockily, Gretchen concurred, “Yeah!”

*Fox & Friends – 08/05/13 (@ 8:32 a.m. ET). [Vid via J$P.]

**Ibid at @ 6:31 a.m. ET.

[Author's aside: Carpe Diem readers should not be surprised by Gretchen’s announcement today: the author deduced that she would probably “star” in Persecuted eleven days ago.

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”?

July 25, 2013

Religion, politics, and scandal: fact or fiction? No, Persecuted is not a biopic of the Fox & Friends co-host oft lampooned by Saturday Night Live or facilely skewered by Jon Stewart. But, it might just be the name of the major film that she said that she would be filming within the next ten days today in the After the Show Show. [Vid via J$P.]

As A.S.S. started this morning, F&F co-hosts Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade and FNC meteorologist Marina Molina sat together on the curvy couch. As usual, Brian Kilmeade left almost immediately to go to his Kilmeade & Friends radio show. Shortly, thereafter, Gretchen started to arise, saying, “I’m going off to shoot a movie, actually: So, I’ll see you in about ten days.”

Seemingly, on cue, Steve asked, “In a movie? What kind of movie?” Gleefully, Gretchen answered, “Yeah. A major motion picture.”

As Gretchen walked off the set, Steve queried, “What are you gonna do?” Coyly, Gretchen replied, “It’s a secret!” Following up, Steve asked, “Are you gonna be like the local newsperson or an anchorperson?” Gretchen responded, “Something like that.”

Probing, Steve demanded, “Where are they filming the movie?” Gretchen insisted, “It’s a secret!” “Albuquerque, New Mexico?” Steve persisted.

As Gretchen ignored Steve’s question, Maria queried, “What made you pick that location?” Putting his hand to his forehead suggestively, Steve said, “A voice in my head!” Apparently, to their F&F producers, Maria laughed, “Oh, you told him!”

According to a New Mexico Film Office press release, “feature Persecuted” began mid-July and will end in early August in Albuquerque. Gretchen’s probable “major motion picture” is co-produced by Oscar-winning Gray Frederickson (Apocalypse Now and Godfather) and includes actors, James Remar (Django: Unchained, X-Men: First Class, etc.); Bruce Davison (Lost, X-Men, etc.), and Fred Thompson (Die Hard 2 and Law & Order and former U.S Senator of Tennessee). (The plot revolves around an evangelist framed by a Senator for the murder of a young girl and the persecution that inevitably ensues.)

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”? Or, will she, perhaps, “Transcend” it all?

H/t: J$P.

Fox & Friends Fail: “Sh*t” Hits the Fans

July 10, 2013

And “the fan,” too? Today, Fox & Friends fans were the victims of a scatological aural assault this morning. Even though some may have felt that way when they first heard that heir apparent F&F Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota was snubbed in favor of outsider ABC View babe Elisabeth Hasselback (for Gretchen Carlson‘s seat on the curvy couch), they actually were accosted with it as F&F transitioned to its final half hour after a baseball segment with erstwhile NY Mets pitcher Al Leiter.

When co-anchor Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy completed their interview of Leiter, Gretchen teased the final thirty minutes: When she had finished, the camera panned back to the trio on the mock field as producers aired Blake Shelton’s “Boys Round Here.” Apparently, someone had forgot to read the lyrics: As the final seconds ran, Blake is heard singing, “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Someone hit the mute button but to no avail: the damage had been done.

Today, the “sh*t” hit the fans. Did it hit their fan, too? Time will tell.

[Author's aside: In a classy response to her fervid fans who thought that she had been slighted, Aly Tweeted, "Hi Everyone -- thanks for the kind words of support. Stay tuned... I'll tweet more soon."]

Huddy Factor: Hoboken “Hypocrite”?

June 18, 2013

“Did You See That?”: Do I have to explain why it’s been banned! FNC correspondent and O’Reilly Factor regular Juliet Huddy oddly decried the horrors of a sexy British Pamela Anderson advertisement last Wednesday.* The former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host who readily relishes the ribald humor of her erstwhile Fox & Friends Weekend co-host and best bud Mike Jerrick would seem to be an unlikely proponent of banning racy commercials. But, on her Factor “Did You See That?” segment, she sportingly played the part of censorship queen: And, for fans of the thrice-married proud cougar, her priggish pontifications appeared humorous at best.

During her weekly appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s eponymous show, Juliet was asked to opine on the banning of the rather risque British advert which starred buxom biz babe Pamela Anderson and her similarly endowed tarty underling cavorting in cream in a male colleague’s fantasy. After playing a controversial clip of the commercial censored as being “sexist and degrading to women,” O’Reilly remarked, “And, here now to explain why that ad has been banned is Juliet Huddy.” Appearing to feign outrage, Juliet exclaimed, “Do I have to explain why it’s been banned! Really!”

Subsequently, as another snippet started to air, O’Reilly jested, “I thought it was a milk commercial.” Laughing heartily, Juliet interjected, “I, I mean, I have to say.” Before she could continue, O’Reilly added, “So, it’s raunchy and suggestive but…Great Britain has a lot of that stuff. So…why did they pull this?”

Guffawing and giggling, Juliet declared, “Right thing, justifiably so! They felt that it’s sexist and objectifies women!”

Unconvinced, O’Reilly persisted, “Look, all I know is that…in England, particularly in London, they run a lot of raunchy stuff all over the place.”

Taking O’Reilly to task, Juliet jibed, “So, you’re upset that this ad is being banned?”

Defensively, raising his hand, O’Reilly retorted, “I’m not upset. I don’t care! I’m apathetic when it comes to this.”

Moralizing comically, Juliet riposted, “I think you do, Bill! Or, we wouldn’t have this on the show if you didn’t care!”

“Did you see that?” Indeed. Juliet: not necessarily O’Reilly fiercest “Culture Warrior.”

*O’Reilly Factor – 06/12/13 (8:50 a.m. ET)

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle’s “Basic Instinct”

June 15, 2013

Juan Williams: “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him!” Saucy Kimberly Guilfoyle scored on more than a few levels with her Five co-hosts and fans in her “bowdlerized” Basic Instinct display of last week. As Kimberly revealed her dominance in b’ball on Friday (06/07/13), she brought “rowwr power” to a whole new level.

In the Five segment designed to showcase the co-anchors shot-making prowess–or lack thereof (a la toddler Titus Ashby’s shellacking of Shaq on Jimmy Kimmel) co-hosts Kimberly, Juan, Eric Bolling, Andrea Tantaros and fill-in Brian Kilmeade took turns at throwing mini-basketballs at a small toy goal.* Starting off their friendly rivalry to see who could score the most points in twenty seconds, Brian supplied several balls to Kimberly. As the short-skirted lovely began to lob them at the basket with much success, Brian scurried to and fro to deliver them back to San Francisco’s comely former first lady.

Clapping enthusiastically, an adoring Juan exclaimed, “Yeah, Kimberly! Oh! Oh! Go, Kimberly, go! Rack ‘em up!” As Kimberly eagerly scrambled for the balls and gave viewers and Brian a PG-rated Basic Instinct, she was given more than double the time that she had been actually allotted. As Kimberly began to score with alacrity, literally and figuratively, Five rival beauty Andrea exclaimed, “Who’s keeping score?”

Subsequently, an apparently addled Juan threw more than a few air balls in his ill-fated attempt to match Kimberly. When former Pittsburg Pirate draftee Eric Bolling tried to get his “game on,” comely Kimberly kicked her right gam up Rockette-style. Pointing to his gorgeous colleague, an ardent Juan declared, “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him! You can’t kick your legs to distract him!”

Apparently, Kimberly must have done so. As Eric completed his feckless effort, Kimberly pulled her hiked skirt back down and raised her hands in triumph, exclaiming, “Oh, yeah! Wooh, hooh!” Subsequently, when Andrea begin her successful distaff attempt, Kimberly shouted, “Go! Girls rule! Yeah!” And, they did.

Futilely, sports guy Brian tried to compete thereafter with little success. When he had finished, he queried, “Do we have a winner, control room?” After the producers seemingly whispered in his ear, Brian declared, “Kimberly and Andrea have tied.” Apparently, abandoning his formerly “so hot” Andrea for the moment, Juan raised Kimberly’s hand high in the air in victory, proclaiming her “the champ.”

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle: “The girl [just] can’t help it!”

*The Five – 06/08/13 @5:40 p.m. ET (Saturday re-airing of prior day)

[Author's aside: Sorry, CR readers for the delay: “Cleaning Out My Closet.”

Purring Aly Cat: “With…a Leash in My Teeth?”

June 8, 2013

C.O.M.A. today: But, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Alisyn Camerota decidedly heated up the set last Sunday with her wicked game. After a cute headline news story with a dog walking a horse by a lead, co-host Clayton Morris pruriently queried, “You ever walk a stallion like that?” Always one to enjoy a double entendre, Aly coquettishly riposted, “With, with, uh, a leash in my teeth?” Pausing for affect, she bawdily added, “No, I haven’t. Strangely!” As she chuckled heartily at her own Mae West wit, a goatish Clayton grinned as their almost clueless co-host Tucker Carlson remarked, “Well, I have.”

*Fox & Friends Sunday – 06/02/13 (@ 6:31 a.m. ET)

[Author's aside: C.O.M.A. double entendre explained: "Cleaning Out My Attic"-- and coma (dull day today).]

Aly: “I’m Gonna Come Back!” Not!

June 4, 2013

Oops! She did it again–but, even worse! Yesterday, Fox & Friends fill-in Alisyn Camerota overslept and was half an hour late for the show: Today, she did not even make her promised return!

Substituting for the frequently absent Gretchen Carlson Monday, a chagrined Aly made her appearance on the program tardy by more than thirty minutes: After initially jesting that she had run off with the band Lonestar (F&F’s Friday summer concert band with Aly as sexy cowbell belle), she blamed it on her Blackberry alarm not going off and her malfunctioning internal alarm clock. Aptly, she said that she was sorry to her co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, and emergency sub Ainsley Earhardt and asked for her audience’s forgiveness, saying, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Much later, when the show was about to end, Steve alluded anew to Aly’s faux pas, saying, “Well, you know, things started, Aly actually didn’t look like [she] was going to make the show because the alarm didn’t go off.”* Deadpanning, Aly mischievously asked, “Is that the story [that] you are going with?” Smiling, Steve riposted, “Well, that’s what you told us!” Licking her upper lip impishly, Aly answered, “Oh! I didn’t know if we were going with the tour bus story or the alarm clock. I like both!”

Subsequently, as usual, Brian teased the next day’s show, announcing F&F‘s upcoming guests (Dr. Oz, Senator Marco Rubio, Miranda Kerr, and Laura Ingraham). Touting Tuesday’s show further, Steve remarked, “It’s a fantastic show.” In concert, raising her left hand for emphasis immediately, Aly declared, “I’m gonna come back!” Concluding, Steve exclaimed, “Alright!”: Turning to his F&F viewers, he added, “And, we hope you do, too!”

Unfortunately for Aly’s fans who returned to F&F today, their lovely lady was not true to her word. I.e., she did not return. On the bright side today, a second South Carolina “Morning Glory,” Anna Kooiman, was there today to arouse them at the break of the dawn.

*Fox & Friends – 06/03/13 (@ 8:59 a.m ET)

Aly Cat: “Sorry about That!..It’s So Embarrassing!

June 3, 2013

Waking hubby: “Hey…what are you doing?” Oops! Tardy substitute Fox & Friends co-host Alisyn Camerota had a very bad early morning: But, on the bright side, she may have had a very good late night.

When Aly failed to appear in for an absent Gretchen Carlson on the F&F curvy couch at the start of the show, a seemingly surprised Ainsley Earhardt, Fox & Friends First co-anchor, surfaced instead on F&F after her own show F&F First, exclaiming, “Well, good morning to you! It is Monday June 3rd….I’m filling in for Gretchen [Carlson] this morning.”

Providing scant cover for his long-time FNC colleague in the show intro (as producers ran a clip of Aly and FNC meteorologist Maria Molina suggestively jamming out with Lonestar last Friday on A.S.S.), co-anchor Brian Kilmeade jested, “Last we saw Aly Camerota, she was partying with the band on our Friday summer concert series and…she’s supposed to be here….[A]ll I know is she is not here. What happened? That story we have.”

Chiming in bawdily, co-host Steve Doocy teased, “She took off with the band! Hello!”

Then, after the F&F theme had played, Ainsley revealed, “Okay, so…we have to be honest here. I’m, like, anchoring the 5 a.m. show, and they’re saying, “Ainsley, we need you to stick around and zip downstairs to Studio B because Aly has overslept this morning! Aly was filling in for Gretchen.” Elaborating, she animatedly disclosed, “So, Aly moved out to Connecticut…recently…a year ago or something….So, this morning, we were…all saying, ‘Oh, her husband [Tim Lewis is] in trouble.’ She’s gonna be like, ‘We’re moving back into the city (NYC): I can’t be this far away from work!”

Trying to come to the aid of Aly valiantly, Brian added, “Well, here, here’s the problem, Ainsley, as you know: They had a five-and-a-half marathon on Saturday and then four hours again on Sunday and then they had the After the Show Show and then some post-tapes. This woman is worn out!”

Giving slightly less succor to the alluring Aly, Steve jibed, “Oh, come on! And, then throw in that she looked like she wanted to join the band.”

Much more amenably, Ainsley interjected, “Right! And, throw in a few kids and a husband. I mean, come on!”

Smiling comically, Steve concluded, “If and when she shows up, you’ll see her…as Ainsley disappears shortly.”

Approximately, thirty minutes later, Aly finally emerged from her make-up room and sashayed to the set, laughing, “I’m ready now!…I just got off the Lonestar tour bus: But, I’m back now.” Reaching the curvy couch with pastry sops, she apologized, “Thank you, guys! Sorry about that!”

Feigning irritation, Steve queried, “Where were you?”

Chagrinned, Aly exclaimed, “My Blackberry did not go off this morning! Yes, I’m blaming my alarm clock, and my internal alarm clock malfunctioned as well!” Looking into the camera at her fans and bowing her head as their supplicant, she said, “I apologize. It’s so embarrassing!”

Turning to Aly empathetically, Ainz asked, “Isn’t is so embarrassing when you wake up and the husband says, ‘Aren’t you supposed to be at work?’”

Heartily, Aly agreed, “It’s horrible! Revealing some benign early morning bedchamber chat with her mate, Aly added, “My husband goes, ‘Hey, It’s 4:30. What are you doing?’ I’m, like, ’4:30!’ Like my hair’s on fire, and I jumped up.” Grinning naughtily, Aly racily remarked, “And, he wasn’t happy about me going on the tour with Lonestar either! So, I’m in the doghouse!”

Lonestar love to lonely lady! From “cathouse” to “doghouse”? Regardless, Aly is in the house!

[Author's aside: For a pic of Aly, Tim, their twin daughters (Alessandra and Francesca) and their son, Nate, link here.]

Zesty Zoraida: Zooma, Zooma, Zoom!

June 1, 2013

Beauty no boob: “Come on give it a try: We’re gonna reach for the sky.” Early Start co-anchor Zoraida Sambolin may have given CNN a New Day a month early. In an incredible display of courage Zoraida has embraced her breast cancer challenge with a zest that gives new life to CNN’s generally bland morning fare. Furthermore, she has given her fans a front seat view as she fought her malignant invader and vanquished it.

About two weeks ago (05/14/13 – ES vid), Zoraida intimately disclosed that she had breast cancer and that she had decided to have a double mastectomy. As a recently engaged woman (to her fiance Kenny Williams), she further revealed that she struggled with her decision because of her sexuality and her breasts and how attached she was to that. But, as a mother, she explained, “At the end of the day, it’s really difficult to say that I’m thinking about this…when I have two kids that…I want to live for: And that at the end of the day, I’m going…to cut off my arms if it means that I am going to live to see them and to see them grow up.”

Elaborating the very next day (in a “Starting the Cancer Dialogue” segment), Zoraida said, “I was embarrassed by how difficult that decision was: And, so, it makes you start thinking about your sexuality which I’ve thought more about than I ever have before in my life! And, how this will affect that!”* Explicating her initial misgivings about her double mastectomy (during a subsequent “Outpouring of Support for Jolie” story), Zoraida added, “You know, the first three days all I thought about going to bed was this and getting up [was] this and what is going to be my decision: That is all I thought about.”**

In Zoraida’s final show before her surgery (05/24/13), she shared her story further in a segment entitled, “A Very Personal Decision: Choosing double mastectomy over fear of dying.”*** When she concluded her report on why she chose to remove both of her breasts even though only her left one was cancerous, her ES co-host John Berman declared, “I have been in awe of you over the last several weeks as you’ve gone through this, simply in awe of your strength.” Pulling his tie and unbuttoning his shirt to reveal a Superman-styled tee with a “Z,” John added, “I did want you to know…that I will be certainly be with you in spirit as a, as the founding member of Team Z–not just Z, but Super Z.” Standing up to embrace John, Zoraida exclaimed, “Aww, that is so sweet!” As the ES crew began to emerge with their own “Super Z” shirts made for them by John,  an emotional Zoraida hugged them, too, gushing, “Oh, my g[od]! Oh, thank you! That is so sweet! And, if that were not enough, Zoraida got a fun ES “send off…a boob cake” that afternoon: Tweeting her hearty approval, she declared, “[G]otta love my peeps!”

On the appointed day, Zoraida gamely proclaimed, “Good Morning Friends! Getting ready to head to the hospital but wanted to “check in” with you first.” Subsequently, tagging in for her sis, Ivonne Tweeted, “[Zoraida] is heading to the OR as I  tweet. I will be keeping you all posted. pic.twitter.com/ASfhKyTvWF.” Subsequently, she happily announced, “Lymph nodes cam back negative for cancer. This means cancer has not spread beyond the breast. YES!!” A few hours later, Ivonne heralded further good news, saying, “Zoraida is out of surgery. Thanks to God and Dr. Kim, everything went beautifully!!!” The next day, she prematurely predicted, “Zoraida is doing great. She goes home today. Dr’s are happy with her progress.”

Taking back the reins, Zoraida Tweeted, “Day 2 not so bad. Feeling great! pic.twitter.com/XKi2LHhUry.” On Thursday, she elatedly exclaimed, “Going home today, yay!”

Yay, indeed. Get well soon, Zoraida! And, hurry back!

*Early Start – 05/15/13 (@ 5:38 a.m. ET).

**Ibid at 6:16 a.m. ET.

***Early Start – 05/24/13 (6:38 a.m. ET).

Flattered Janice: “Fox News Weather Skank”?

May 25, 2013

Anna Kooiman: “This must have been in your dancing days, Janice!” Fox News meteorologist Janice Dean reminded her fans why they love her this morning: their gorgeous gal is shameless! After a headlines story on the new Universal Studio Simpsons theme park opening this summer in Orlando, FL, Janice proudly revealed, “A little known fact, years ago on the Simpsons, they actually referenced a Fox News weather girl, and at the time, I was the only news weather girl. I believe the line was something like, ‘This coffee is hotter than a Fox News weather lady but the word lady wasn’t used: It was something that was a little bit more, uh, not morning show friendly.”*

“Risque?,” chuckled fill-in Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman. As fellow guest co-host Mike Jerrick nodded, “I hear you,” co-anchor Clayton Morris asked, “Were you flattered?” Without answering, FNC meteorologist Janice Dean declared, “You could probably Google it.” Grinning and shimmying in her seat, Anna replied, “This must have been in your dancing days, Janice!”

Correcting Anna’s inadvertent slight subtly, Clayton interjected, “Which still are going on.” Appreciatively, a smiling Anna concurred, “Well, true!”

For those, who missed that Simpsons episode “lauding” JD, the self-dubbed “Dancing Machine,” Janice teased, “But, one of these days, I will add it on to my resume tape.”

Unfortunately, Janice did not reveal her salty Simpsons moniker today: However, she frankly disclosed it in her FoxNews.com blog post titled, “Hotter than a Fox News Weather Blank…” on November 23, 2007. In that article, she wrote, “I was…reminded of a line off that show that many Simpsons fans have since referenced in my presence (mainly my little brother!). It was a few years ago and at the time I was strangely flattered…Here’s the line: ‘Careful. It’s hotter than a Fox News weather skank.’” Proudly, she added, “It’s pretty funny. I think that I have it on tape somewhere.”

Unfortunately, the author has not found that Simpsons tape yet, Janice. But, please post it: your F&FW fans would love to see it!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 05/25/13 (@ 7:37 a.m. ET)

Dana’s “Foolish Mistake”: Stealing $20 from Mom

May 19, 2013

“I did that once, Mom. Sorry!” The Five co-host Dana Perino admitted Friday that she once had sticky fingers for her mother’s moolah. During a segment on the I.R.S.’s “targeting” of conservative groups during the 2012 campaign period, Dana derided the I.R.S.’s Commissioner’s dismissal of the excessive scrutiny as “foolish mistakes”: Arching her eyebrows, Dana declared, “A foolish mistake is when you take twenty dollars from your Mom’s purse when you really shouldn’t have. That was a foolish mistake.”*

Immediately, co-anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle interjected, “I never did that!”

Pointing to Dana with his right thumb accusingly, co-host Greg Gutfeld responded, “She did.”

Squinting her eyes at Greg with more than a hint of agitation, Dana confessed, “I did that once, Mom. Sorry!”

The Five‘s naif Dana Perino: I’m not that innocent!

*The Five – 05/1 – 05/18/13 (@ 5:12 p.m. ET)

Zoraida’s Decision: Feminine Sexuality But Family First

May 18, 2013

Double mastectomy: “Very emotional for me…as a woman, your sexuality and your breasts and how attached you are to that.” Early Start co-host Zoraida Sambolin shared her very personal new struggle with breast cancer with her CNN a.m. fans, her Twitter followers, and her Facebook friends Tuesday. Breaking the news to her EP viewers (after a report on Angelina Jolie’s NYT announcement that she had undergone a double mastectomy), Zoraida remarked, “You know, I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and…the fact that she [Jolie] is sharing this very personal journey, talking about the femininity as well and how that affects your decision moving forward, is absolutely remarkable.”* To her Tweeps and to her FB friends, she elaborated, “I struggled for weeks trying to figure out how [to] tell you that I had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was leaving to have surgery then..Angelina Jolie shares her story of a double mastectomy and gives me strength and an opening.”

Later in the morning, on Starting Point, Zoraida disclosed even more of the intimate details of her painful decision.** During a story on Jolie’s double mastectomy, Zoraida was brought in to tell her own story by SP interim co-hosts John Berman and Christine Romans. Pointing to John, Zoraida said, “You know for a while I’ve been struggling ’cause I was diagnosed with breast cancer about three weeks ago. And, I was trying to figure out how do I…tell the viewers that I’m going to be gone for awhile because I have chosen to have a double mastectomy. And, so, Angelina Jolie’s story really hit home.”

Offering Zoraida an opportunity to open up, John remarked, “She [Jolie] says [that] it’s an empowering decision, in a way.” Seizing her moment, Zoraida replied, “It is because you can, you can make that decision as a woman. Um, one of the things that she talks about that is very emotional for me because, you know, as a woman, your sexuality and your breasts and how attached you are to that. Right? As, as a woman!” In true maternal self-abnegation, she continued, “And, so, at the end of the day, it’s really difficult to say that I’m thinking about this…when I have two kids that…I want to live for. And that at the end of the day, I’m going…to cut off my arms if it means that I am going to live to see them and to see them grow up.”

Zoraida, kudos for courageously sharing your story with your fans–and, more importantly, putting your family first!

[Author's aside: During her SP interview, supra, Zoraida disclosed that she made her first call after her diagnosis to her fiance (Kenny Williams) , "who has been nothing but an amazing supporter through all of this." Furthermore, she revealed that she was going to have her surgery on the 28th. EP - 05/14/13 (@6:03 a.m. ET)]

*Early Start – 05/14/13 (@ 5:33 a.m. ET)

**Starting Point – 05/14/13 (@ 7:33 a.m. ET)

“CNN’s Stephanie Elam” Returns to A.M.

May 5, 2013

Rob Marciano: I heard a familiar voice this morning…@Stephanie Elam nice work!” Friday, whilom CNN biz beauty Stephanie Elam returned anew as a CNN correspondent on early morning news programs Early Start and Starting Point much to the delight of her former CNN colleague and Entertainment Tonight co-host Rob Marciano and, assuredly, a myriad of her erstwhile American Morning fans.

For Early Start viewers, Stephanie came back as a friendly, familiar face invigorating the engaging new duo of  Zoraida Sambolin and John Berman: For the Starting Point audience who had not yet abandoned ship a la their star-crossed captain Soledad O’Brien, poor Stephanie was just another warm body trying to keep that sinking ship afloat until a New Day finally dawns.

Welcome back, Stephanie!

[Author's aside: "CNN's Stephanie Elam" refers to the repeated moniker given Stephanie by Zoraida and John when introducing Stephanie before her Camarillo, California, wildfire reports to their CNN early morning audience.]

“Ms. Cuomo”: I Will Forever Be the Goldie Hawn

April 28, 2013

Sandra Lee: “You’re just naughty, naughty guy, aren’t you?” Fox & Friends Weekend fill-in co-host Mike Jerrick had Food Network host Sandra Lee, NY Governor Andrew Cuomo’s live-in love, blushing and aflutter this morning. In a segment promoting Lee’s latest (25th) cook book entitled “Every Dish Delivers,” the long-tressed blond beauty saucily declared that mole was a chocolate sauce with a kiss, a kick with a kiss: When F&FW guest co-anchor Anna Kooiman seemingly responded, “You weren’t supposed to go there,” Lee laughed, “I meant that in the sweetest way.”

Ever the bawd, Mike mischievously remarked, “Speaking of kisses, are you still with the governor?” Reddening yet smiling, Lee riposted, “You’re just [a] naughty, naughty guy, aren’t you? Yes, I will forever be the Goldie Hawn of the cooking world!”

Milking the moment of Lee’s chagrin, a grinning Mike jibed, “It’s been going on for quite a few years now, Sandra.” Blushing all the more, Lee retorted, “Eight! And, he loves my chicken.” As Anna sweetly stepped in between Mike and Lee, an appreciative Lee jested, “I can always depend on my girlfriends to help me out. We’ll box you [Mike] right over.” Subsequently, she stammered, “Okay, so these are wonderful, um, uh, enchilada burritos. Now, you have me all flustered!”

In response, Mike facetiously exclaimed, “I’m sorry!” As almost an aside to her audience, Lee declared, “Look at what he does.”

Look indeed: “Naughty, naughty guy” Mike Jerrick may have got the goods. Even though she insisted that she would “forever be the Goldie Hawn of the cooking world,” the “all flustered” Lee sounded as if her new novel “The Recipe Box” (“with striking similaries to New York’s first couple” according to the WSJmay reveal the true story. I.e., she is expecting a marriage proposal from her politician bedfellow of almost decade.


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