Archive for the ‘Gretchen Carlson’ Category

Heather: Happening Now Happily

September 22, 2014

Tony Snow: “God made you beautiful: Now you’ve got to make yourself smart.” Quirky Fox & Friends newsreader Heather Nauert seems to have found a more fitting slot of late on FNC as guest co-host of Happening Now.  Paired with HN regular co-anchor Jon Scott oft now that Jenna Lee is on maternity leave, the “Chicago” chirper excels in her new chair as a sharp counterpart to FNC’s whilom Shakespearean actor/go-to aviation “expert” Jon: Consequently, fans of F&F are treated to a more mellifluous Carolinian cadence in the early morn as F&F First co-hosts Heather Childers and Ainsley Earhardt often fill in for Heather N. as headline news anchor.

F&F fans can now enjoy their show more as the Southern belle beauties ameliorate their Yankee (Rhode Island) colleague Elisabeth Hasselbeck‘s too oft nasal sounds with their delightful drawl. To boot, the viewers are not subjected to a pedantic Ms. Romper Room Nauert who too oft wants to “tell you about this” before she actually does.

Yes, the “younger sister of another Heather (Locklear)” is beautiful, and she is smart. But, she can be pedantic and irritating a la erstwhile F&F anchor Gretchen Carlson when she talks down to her audience who generally know as much or more than she does. Like the former Miss America [vid] with her new show (The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson), Heather now seems to be more relaxed and at ease on HN–not feeling as if she has to prove her smarts to her audience vis-a-vis the boys, F&F co-anchors Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy.

Heather Happening Now: beautiful, smart–and, finally, starting to chill.

[Author's aside: The subtitle, supra, is based on a Tony Snow quote cited in a Paul Farhi article in the Washington Post.]

Anna K.: “In for Elisabeth”

August 7, 2014

The younger, fresher Gretchen? Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman once again filled in for the increasingly absent Elisabeth Hasselbeck on F&F. The North Carolina flirty fitness fiend [vid] is a delightful break from the overly earnest Lis who is quite keen on apprising her curvy couch mates Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade that they are like brothers to her and embracing every guest female as if they were sisters.

True or not, Lis seems like such a sweet gal that the author is rather loathe to diss F&F‘s latest leading lady: Nevertheless, he feels as if he should give the “cruel” critique. Rhode Island’s blond beauty got off to a good start with her fun athletic antics, competing for the eyeballs of America almost a la her Survivor persona in the first days of the show. But, lately, the ever clowning cutie seems to be trying to turn F&F into a coed The View.

In contrast, Anna offers a saucier, more vivacious view. If the F&F fan liked the older queen of the curvy couch, Gretchen Carlson, s/he probably likes Anna all the more. The gals are both blond, broad-faced, and somewhat thick-thighed beauties selected by Bill Shine: However, Anna seems less of the solipsist who appears ready to recite her curriculum vitae to her audience at each and every opportunity.

Stick around for a while on F&F, Anna: Ainsley can sub on the weekends. Or, Elisabeth, at least, play the coquette on occasion–even if you don’t mean it.

[Author's aside: Title, supra, refers to Anna's opening F&F line, i.e., "I'm Anna Kooiman in for Elisabeth Hasselbeck this morning."]

 

Aly to CNN! A la Kiran?

July 16, 2014

Fox’s finest foxes have left the building: But, the vixens did it different ways. Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Kiran Chetry was unceremoniously escorted out of the FNC den sans her personal belongings according to NYMag.com whereas whilom F&FW co-anchor Alisyn Camerota was given an “emotional @FoxNews send-off” with her belongings packed by her colleagues. Happily for their respective fans, they both subsequently found a home–at CNN.

As long-time Fox News viewers may well remember, Kiran was a rising star at FNC as co-host of both Fox & Friends Weekend (and Fox & Friends First) in 2006 and she was widely expected by her phalanx of fans to take over for E.D. Hill whenever she left her center seat on the curvy couch: However, FNC Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine dashed her and their hopes when he selected the rather awkward and too oft solipsist Gretchen Carlson for the position on September 22, 2006. Later, in early  2007, Kiran negotiated for a new contract with a high-powered agent who, according to FNC, wanted a term for Kiran to replace Gretchen by a certain date: Conversely, purportedly, she simply wanted a provision that she could escape her contract if she were not awarded that position by a certain date. Consequently, FNC cut off contract negotiations with Kiran in a royal row, and eager CNN’s Prez Jonathan Klein hired the prized journalist that day within an hour of learning of the “extraordinary circumstances.” (According to NYMag.com, a less impressed FNC had the Nepalese lovely escorted out of the building without her personal effects in her office and hubby FNC weatherman Chris Knowles had to “raid her office” to get them–before being “released from his Fox News contract” the very next day.)

Similarly, Kiran’s former FNC colleague, Aly, has been a shining star in the Fox News constellation, deftly doing double duty as the captain of Fox & Friends Weekend and ably subbing for Gretchen on the F&F “A-Team” at the drop of a hat during even the most momentous moments. When Gretchen renegotiated her contract and received her own show, viewers naturally assumed Aly would finally be coronated as F&F weekday queen. Using the same “wisdom” that inanely snubbed Kiran seven years earlier, Shine chose The View‘s discarded damsel Elisabeth Hasselbeck for the role over fan fave Aly: Shortly thereafter, he sent Aly “out to “pasture” with Bill Hemmer for a short while on America’s Newsroom and replaced her on F&FW with his new hire, Anna Kooiman. Subsequently, with Kiran’s purportedly ill-conceived forced exit in mind, FNC and Aly crafted a happier meme: Aly Tweeted a pic of her in her office with her files (with a sweet note that @lauraingle, @JennRiveraTV, and @rickreichmuth had helped her pack) and another of her in the hallway hugging one of many in a gauntlet of FNC colleagues. To any doubting Thomas,  she returned to the building to guest on Kilmeade and Friends, telling her fans, “I left on great terms. I love everybody here: I think the feeling is mutual. And, it’s fun to be back in the building.” But, not for long: On Monday, CNN Worldwide Prez Jeff Zucker announced that he had grabbed the “seasoned journalist with a great curiosity and passion for the news…[that]…has a presence on camera…[that]…is very hard to find.”

Who knows? Maybe, Aly and Kiran fans will be treated to a double espresso of the arousing Aphrodites in the morning. When one Twitter follower Tweeted, “You and @kiranchetrytv should team up again. You two were great,” Aly answered, “That would be a blast.”

Indeed, it would. Vintage Fox & Friends Weekend on CNN? Aly and Kiran: A real “New Day”!

[Author's aside: It may be no anomaly that Kiran (CNN's former American Morning co-host) made her return to the CNN morn Sunday on Reliable Sources as a guest journalist in a segment entitled "Women, TV News, and Attractiveness."]

 

Comely Camerota: CNN’s Catch?

March 31, 2014

Bathing beauty Aly: “For anyone wondering what I’ve been up to….” Today, Alisyn Camerota, the quondam queen of Fox & Friends Weekend‘s curvy couch got her fans attention with that Twitter tease that featured her in a sexy bathing beauty pose. She may have been more demure than her daring ’80’s bikini shot but the Bristol Bay Babe was just as alluring with her sexy come-hither pose. The catch? The former F&FW fox has jumped ship to CNN according to FTVLive.

For Fox & Friends viewers, Aly’s move should come as no surprise. FNC’s Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine has seemingly given his erstwhile best anchor the shaft: When he ditched Gretchen Carlson on F&F weekday, it appeared that the long-suffering three-time co-anchor of F&FW and frequent guest-host of F&F would finally get her due. Instead, the same genius that chose Gretch to be E. D. Hill‘s replacement on F&F over the eminently superior Kiran Chetry decided to go outside of the FNC family and choose Barbara Walter’s View outcast, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, rather than F&F fan favorite Aly.

Hopefully, CNN Prez Jeff Zucker will put Aly on against Lis in the mornings to jump start his moribund morning show New Day. Of course, Aly will be at a distinct disadvantage having to contend against Shine’s FNC juggernaut trio that also includes F&F Everyman Steve Doocy and Puckish wit Brian Kilmeade. Hopefully, Aly will join a cast including current Early Start co-host, wag John Berman, and another engaging gal or guy during the New Day time period: I.e., if the proverbial CNN stars are aligned propitiously, ND co-anchor Kate Bouldan, Michaela Pereira, and Chris Cuomo will find new places on Ted Turner’s network and Aly can usher in a new dawn to CNN.

Congratulations, Aly! And, good luck!

H/t, J$P!

Anna Oops: Not “In Full Disclosure”

March 9, 2014

“According to the Daily Caller…a reliable news source.” Gretchen Carlson/Derek Jeter redux? Unfortunately, for Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman today, she followed in the faux pas of erstwhile F&F (weekday) co-anchor Gretchen Carlson. Like Gretchen who failed to mention that her husband Casey Close was the agent of Derek Jeter in her 2009 F&F hagiographic interview of the New York Yankee superstar, Anna cited the Daily Caller as a “reliable news source” this morning without so much as mentioning that her co-host Tucker Carlson was its founder and current editor-in-chief.*

During a segment on Homeland Security (re a Border Patrol policy advising agents to not engage “rock throwers”), Anna remarked, “According to the Daily Caller, it says that.” Interrupting her, F&FW co-anchor Tucker Carlson smiling chimed, “A reliable news source.” Grinning, Anna stammered, “A reliable news sources, yes, ah, that, that these, uh, uh, uh, new standards essential match those of advocacy groups who, who think that policing our borders is not a good idea.”

Not a good idea, Anna? A good idea would have to reveal that your co-host Tucker is the founder and editor-in-chief of your source. Also, Tucker, a good idea would have been to reveal that you were the authority for Anna’s assertion. And, Clayton Morris, as the now oldest denizen on the F&FW curvy couch, a good idea would have been to step up to the plate to insure full disclosure to the F&FW viewer.

“In full disclosure”: F&FW is sorely missing its captain.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/09/14 (@ 7:11 a.m. ET).

Gretch Goes Go-Go: Decries Sexualized Culture?

October 11, 2013

Naked Carlson: “It’s the intl day of the girl today….1st time ever on cable news.” Today, Real Story anchor Gretchen Carlson gave her fans a queer case of cognitive dissonance. Before her show this afternoon, Gretchen teased, Tweeting, “It’s the intl day of the girl today. What do u think i will I [sic] do to honor the self esteem of our girls? 1st time ever on cable news.” Get nude with a “go-go girl?” Yes, she did! But, not necessarily the way that the reader might hope.

As the final block of her new show started [vid], Gretchen proudly proclaimed, “Well, welcome back, everyone! For the first time in cable news, here I am–make-up free, for a reason, as is my guest today. Sex sells!” Elaborating awkwardly, the former Miss America (1989) continued, “But, [as] to eight-year-old girls these days, it’s not easy to empower your tween daughter to become a confident young woman. Toy companies like Bratz giving dolls hourglass figures, sultry looks, and mini dresses: Abercrombie [& Fitch]  designing pushup bikinis for teens. Today, is international day of the girl: So, let’s look at positive role models in the fight to let girls be girls.”

In this segment entitled, “Empowering Girls in a Culture of Sexualization,” Gretchen and her guest Jodi Norgaard (CEO of Dream Big Toy Company) lauded each other for bravely baring, daring to go sans makeup on air. When Gretchen praised Norgaard for sticking up for girls on the national day of the girl, she asked, “What’s the message?” Norgaard answered, “The message is to support girls: We need to [get] girls to concentrate what’s on the inside and not what’s on the outside”: Touting the “Brave Girls Alliance” effort to ask media and retailers “to provide healthy messages and healthy images for girls,” she asserted, “It’s not about being angry. It’s about being equal. And, let’s stop sexualizing our young girls.”

Subsequently, when Gretchen asked Norgaard about her toy company that “focused on science, and technology, and good body image,” she declared, “When I designed the Go! Go! Sports Girls, it really hit home when I saw a doll and the name on the hang tag was Lovely Lola and…she…had a belly button ring and, uh, looked very–something I didn’t want my daughter to play with. So, it’s encouraging girls to use their bodies in a healthy way.” As she did, the camera zoomed on Norgaard’s doll box which was benignly emblazoned, “Soccer Girl Cassie‘s Story: Teamwork Is the Goal” Perhaps, more tellingly, above it was the rubric, “Go! Go! Sports Girls: Dream Big and Go for It!”

“Go! Go! Sports girls”? Go-go “[in the] buff” Gretch!

Gretchen’s New Gig: The Real Story

October 6, 2013

Flowers for Carlson: Nerd Tears and Casey Close. Last week, Gretchen Carlson finally brought her own show, The Real Story, to her FNC fans. Slotted in what was once the final hour of America Live, Gretchen seems to have salvaged and revamped Megyn Kelly‘s sloping desk; to have “stolen” her all-femme “Power Panel,” and to have adopted the AL feel–perhaps, hoping that Megyn’s magic will rub off on her.

Fox News certainly hopes so. In the premiere of her program, Gretchen ceremoniously received the blessing of FNC fave The Donald who predicted that she would “have great success.”* (Adventitiously or not, Trump also trumpeted in her Fox & Friends successor Elisabeth Hasselbeck in her Fox & Friends debut.)

However, Gretch will have to do more than mimic Megyn and hobnob with the high and mighty to make her show a success: she will also have to prove that she learned well her Minnesota parents’ purported lessons of “core values and humility.”** She will have to eschew the solipsism that she too oft displayed on Fox & Friends, e.g., when she haughtily heralded her resume of being the high school valedictorian, the Stanford alum, and the first Miss America that was a classical violinist. Even though comedian Jon Stewart and her Connecticut blue blood friends may approve of such hubris, FNC’s much maligned “flyover” audience do not.

Gretchen’s Real Story needs to be about the Everyman/Everywoman who watches Fox News. Not Gretchen. If she remembers that simple truth, her intended audience will remember her and tune in—again and again.

[Author's aside: Re the subtitle, Nerd Tears critic Kevin McCarthy gave Gretchen flowers on her last day on Fox & Friends and hubby Casey Close did likewise Friday on the last day (of her first week) on The Real Story.]

*The Real Story - 09/30/13 (@ 2:11 p.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 2:01 p.m. ET.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Who Dat?

September 29, 2013

FNC’s debutante: courtesy of the curvy couch. Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck made her debut on the show–and the network– almost two weeks ago. For many F&F viewers who expected F&FW co-host and usual F&F fill-in Alisyn Camerota to take her place on the curvy couch vacated by Gretchen Carlson, it came as a shock when FNC outsider Elisabeth was named the new co-anchor with Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy. Naturally, Executive Programming VP Bill Shine had to do some ‘splaining–or, at the very least–to introduce in some detail this new View gal to loyal F&F viewers: He chose the latter.

In so doing, Elisabeth was feted regally on set by Donald Trump, Sherri Shepherd, and Sean Hannity as they all effusively praised the new FNC celeb to her co-hosts and F&F fans. Attempting to endear Elisabeth further to their audience, Steve and Brian elicited bio details from the blond beauty. And for those viewers who have not seen her in Survivor, The Look for Less (Style Network), or The View, a closer look was surely warranted.

Ergo, during the course of this her inaugural show, Elisabeth and her co-hosts provided the following personal info. The athletic lovely played point guard at Bay View Academy (East Providence) and softball at Boston College; studied studio art at BC; met hubby Tim Hasselbeck (then future NFL quarterback) there and married him in 2002 after about five years of dating; and even designed shoes for a while (for Puma). Of course, they also reminded viewers that Elisabeth had been on the aforementioned shows. (On a more “intimate” level, the mother of three revealed to those who thought that she was a natural towhead that she had dyed her hair brown as a college sophomore or junior–or, not!)

Good start! And, good luck, Elisabeth!

New(s) Starts Monday

September 29, 2013

Sambolin and Berman; Camerota & Hemmer; and solo Carlson. Early Start gets even earlier as Zoraida Sambolin and John Berman‘s show starts 4:00 a.m. ET as it expands to two hours Monday (September 30).* Also, America’s News HQ gains a new hour slot at 1:00 p.m. ET with the end of Megyn Kelly‘s America LiveThe abdicating queen of Fox & Friends Weekend Alisyn Camerota and her single “sidekick” Bill Hemmer host. Furthermore, the former diva of the weekday curvy couch debuts on her eponymous new show The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson at 2 p.m. ET.

[Author's aside: FIVE hours of CNN morning news dawn; Aly AND Gretch rule Megyn's former throne; and Bill FINALLY gets the girl.]

*Early Start - 09/27/13 (5:09 a.m. ET)

Fox & Friends’ Hasselbeck: The New View

September 17, 2013

Brian Kilmeade: “It’s time for a new day.” Yesterday, former View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck succeeded Gretchen Carlson as the new queen of the curvy couch. After being unceremoniously snubbed by Gretch Friday, Elisabeth returned the favor by not even alluding to her predecessor (even re the segments on the new Miss America winner): The return slight was made all the more conspicuous since Gretchen was excitedly celebrating her silver anniversary as Miss America. Perhaps, Elisabeth was simply letting the past be the past: After all, FNC had just created a new studio for the “high maintenance” lovely according to Judge Andrew Napolitano.*

The Survivor siren definitely has the potential to be a successful F&F co-host: She’s bright, tough, and beautiful–and she certainly has the requisite gorgeous gams to boot. Furthermore, she surely has the right mentality about the F&F family but she took the metaphor a mite too far in her tease preview vid when she deemed her co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade to be like “my brothers”: obviously, F&F uses sexual tension, real or feigned, between the boys and the gal to help propel ratings.

But, apparently, as Brian said in the opening to the latest F&F iteration Monday, “It’s time for a new day.” Hopefully, F&F can keep its natural feel and flow even with the new gal and the new set (that looks somewhat like the one at CNN’s New Day re the imposing window and gigantic couch, ironically). However, if it assumes a highbrow Upper East Side vibe, its more humble flyover fans may be less apt to follow as assiduously as they usually do.

Good luck, Elisabeth! And, welcome to the show!

[Author's aside: Elisabeth jokingly referred to herself as "high maintenance" when Judge Napolitano suggested that FNC had built a new F&F studio for the blond beauty.]

*Fox & Friends – 09/16/13 (@ 6:36 a.m. ET)

Five’s Bolling: Hasselbeck Hotter than Gretchen?

September 14, 2013

F&F’s Kilmeade: Carlson “gets a week off and then she’s back in action.” Oops! FNC Five anchor Eric Bolling and Brian Kilmeade may have been a bit too candid about the co-host change at Fox & Friends and the debut date of Gretchen Carlson‘s new FNC show Thursday.

In the penultimate segment of the Five (September 12), Eric announced that blond beauty “Elisabeth Hasselbeck will join the [F&F] team” on the following Monday.* As a frequent F&F fill-in co-host, Eric seemed especially excited to have her aboard, exclaiming, “She’s definitely bringing up the hotness chart on, on the Fox & Friends.”** Appearing to catch Eric’s seemingly unwitting slight of Gretchen who would leave her seat on the curvy couch the very next day, Five co-anchor Andrea Tantaros groaned, “Hey! Ohhh!”

Coming to Gretchen’s seeming succor, also, Five co-host Dana Perino intoned, “I’m excited for Gretchen, too, because she’ll have a show, uh, I guess, sometime during the day.” Interjecting immediately, Five guest co-host Brian Kilmeade replied, “Yeah! Sometime during the day, they’re going to announce this week that she gets a week off and then she’s back in action.” Appearing to try to cover for Brian’s apparent faux pas, Dana asked, “Just a week?” Smiling sheepishly, Brian replied, “Yeah, I think.”

On Thursday, it was definitely five o’clock at Fox News: In vino veritas, Eric and Brian? Elisabeth might not mind but Gretchen just might.

*The Five – 09/12/13 (@ 5:49 p.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 5:51 p.m. ET.

Cuomo Tweaks “Really Dumb” Carlson Twerk?

August 31, 2013

Flexin’ Fetchin’ Gretchen: “This [twerk] seems more like a hula!” Yesterday, CNN’s New Day co-anchor Chris Cuomo appeared ready for bear as he took aim at his FNC Fox & Friends rival Gretchen Carlson seemingly Friday. On the very day after the Huffington Post mocked Gretchen for her twerking a la Miley Cyrus on air Thursday, Chris seemed strangely eager to get in a sharp jab at Gretchen.

When a ND story on the birth of panda twins in Atlanta began to wrap Friday, Chris stammered, “I don’t believe, I think it’s really dumb when you see these newscasters trying to twerk.”* Pointing his finger at his audience for added emphasis, he continued, “But, I do believe it is not done very cute and we should try best panda sound.” Smiling dismissively, his co-host Kate Bolduan riposted, “I can not believe [that] you made a twerk/panda reference!” Paying her little mind at most, Chris answered, “Of course, when you see them trying that, you’re like, ‘why are they doing that?'”

Perhaps, Chris, Gretchen is twerking toward that full twelve years for F&F as “king of the hill.” Who knows? If Kate follows suit, she might well give ND, at least, a fighting chance against FNC’s inimical juggernaut.

[Author's aside: Gretchen's quote in the subtitle was the remark that she made after briefly trying to twerk, supra.**]

*New Day – 08/30/13 (@ 7:46 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 08/29/13 (@ 7:48 a.m. ET)

Prime-Time Megyn: “Hannity & Kelly”?

August 12, 2013

Roger Ailes’ “Minor Change”? In an exclusive Thursday, the Drudge Report reported that Fox News was “set to make its first primetime schedule change in 10 years” and that “superstar newswoman Megyn Kelly [had] landed the 9 PM slot” according to its top sources. When asked about that “rumor” by Fox News’s Neil Cavuto, FNC chief Roger Ailes responded, “Well, generally, I don’t confirm or deny any rumors….However, Megyn has earned a better time period: She’ll be in our prime-time lineup. But, I must quickly say that all of our stars will be back: We have new deals with (Sean) Hannity and Greta (Van Susteren) and Shep(ard Smith).” Noticing Ailes’ obvious omission, Cavuto quizzically commented, “So, it sounds to me like (Bill) O’Reilly‘s gone: Mischievously, Ailes answered, “Yep, he’s finished, that’s it! No, I’m just kidding.”*

According to New York Times columnist Bill Carter, the prevailing speculation is that Megyn will get her own hour and Sean Hannity will move to the 7:00 p.m. slot (replacing Fox Report with Shepard Smith) and Shep will move to an afternoon hour. However, in his Cavuto interview, Ailes himself cryptically remarked, “We have a great roster of talent: I am making a few minor changes….You have to choose well in the first place and have the guts to stay with people who can do the job. And, that’s what I try to do.”** Furthermore, he reportedly explained, “One of my jobs is to get the best audience flow between shows and that’s one of the reason[s] I’m making a few changes right now.”***

And, that very audience of Ailes in both prime-time and full-day ratings “has had a median age of 65-plus (according to the aforementioned NYT author). If the anecdotal observation that older people tend to be resistant to change is true, Ailes would do well to only “[make] a few minor changes” as he seeks to facilitate the “best audience flow” of his hyper-loyal older viewers (and tries  to attract a younger demographic at the same time). Creating three new shows for Megyn, Hannity, and Shep, as the NYT suggested, seems more than a few major changes–especially, when Gretchen Carlson’s new fall show and, an imminent iteration of Fox & Friends (with new co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck) are added into the mix.

“Hannity and Kelly”? Don’t count it out.

*Therightscoop.com (video and text) – 08/08/13.

**Ibid.

***Therightscoop.com (video) – 08/08/3 (@ 02:12/04:13).

[Author's aside: If Megyn does indeed join Hannity, Ailes real primetime schedule (8-11 p.m.), the hosts will represent true-blue gender equality surpassing rivals CNN and MSNBC.]

Gretchen Flashes: Her “Persecuted” Lines

August 5, 2013

Carlson: “This is called the ‘call sheet': And, you…have to have x-ray vision to read it.” Oops! Inadvertently or not, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson revealed two pages of her dialogue in the upcoming movie Persecuted this morning on her show.* In her first F&F segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the news diva touted her upcoming anchor role in the “Christian-based thriller.”

Before reading one of her Persecuted lines, Gretchen held up her papers, saying, “This is what they give you: This is called the ‘call sheet,’ and you…have…x-ray vision to read it.” Flipping through two pages for the camera’s eye, she added, “Here’s all the lines that I, this was my scene.”

No x-ray vision needed! Happily, even though the author is assuredly no Superman, he was able to capture the text of the two pages of Gretchen’s “call sheet” for the Carpe Diem reader. Her dialogue with star James Remar (John, the “persecuted” evangelist) is as follows:

2 CONTINUED:

DIANA LUCAS (CONT’D)

…But there are some who claim that your ministry is intolerant — even condescending towards other faiths –some in Washington have said your crusades may even threaten the freedom of others. . .

John a long pause, looking away toward camera, methodically. Tone shift.

JOHN: Diana, if I thought for a second I could look down on anyone else or their beliefs, I wouldn’t be sitting here. Do you have any idea who I was before I became what I am today?

DIANA LUCAS: I. . .

JOHN: I’m not a Republican or a Democrat. I don’t belong to any particular denomination, and I have no better personal history than your viewers.(leaning in) Did you know that I have a criminal record?

DIANA LUCAS: Can’t say that I did although it is public record isn’t it?

JOHN: You see our media has a way of elevating those in the spotlight to some kind of superhuman fantasy of what they’d like to see or become. You know what kinda person I was? Who I really was?

(CONTINUED)

2 CONTINUED: (3)

DIANA LUCAS: (cutting in) –And I quote, “To publicly declare your religious beliefs is a way that permits equal time and respect to other systems of faith?”

With his voice striking the perfect, sober note, like he takes no pleasure whatsoever in making this statement. Tragic. Unfortunate.

JOHN: Freedom is fragile and costly. It must constantly be protected and defended by work and faith. (pause) And, even by blood.

DIANA LUCAS: If it comes down to it, will you fall on your sword over this?

JOHN: What I’m saying is, if you take away a man’s freedom to speak his mind in a country founded on that very principle, then we have no country at all. You see, there’s no sword left to fall on. . .

*Fox & Friends - 08/05/13 (@ 6:33 a.m. ET)

Giddy Gretchen: “Persecuted” Indeed!

August 5, 2013

Carlson: “I can’t tell you how difficult it was.” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson reveled in her new-found status as “movie star” (as her co-host Steve Doocy charitably deemed her).* Revealing her anchor role in the movie Persecuted, a “Christian based-thriller,” during a segment entitled “Gretchen’s Movie Debut,” the ever modest Gretchen declared, “Some people would be intimidated to come on our set and ad lib for three hours and do a bunch of interviews and have to talk about a lot of political stuff and keep it all in your head: But, when you have to memorize scripts, I can’t, I can’t tell you how difficult it was.”**

Subsequently, Gretchen disclosed that she would play the role of anchor Diana Lucas in Persecuted. After reading one of her cine lines thereafter (at Steve’s request), she announced that Persecuted would premiere in New York in January, hopefully, and it would also premier in Los Angeles and Albuquerque.

In the final hour of F&F, Gretchen got a second “Gretchen’s Movie Debut” puff piece.* As it concluded, Steve jested, “Fantastic! Well, another line for your resume: Movie star!” Arching her head cockily, Gretchen concurred, “Yeah!”

*Fox & Friends – 08/05/13 (@ 8:32 a.m. ET). [Vid via J$P.]

**Ibid at @ 6:31 a.m. ET.

[Author’s aside: Carpe Diem readers should not be surprised by Gretchen’s announcement today: the author deduced that she would probably “star” in Persecuted eleven days ago.

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”?

July 25, 2013

Religion, politics, and scandal: fact or fiction? No, Persecuted is not a biopic of the Fox & Friends co-host oft lampooned by Saturday Night Live or facilely skewered by Jon Stewart. But, it might just be the name of the major film that she said that she would be filming within the next ten days today in the After the Show Show. [Vid via J$P.]

As A.S.S. started this morning, F&F co-hosts Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and Brian Kilmeade and FNC meteorologist Marina Molina sat together on the curvy couch. As usual, Brian Kilmeade left almost immediately to go to his Kilmeade & Friends radio show. Shortly, thereafter, Gretchen started to arise, saying, “I’m going off to shoot a movie, actually: So, I’ll see you in about ten days.”

Seemingly, on cue, Steve asked, “In a movie? What kind of movie?” Gleefully, Gretchen answered, “Yeah. A major motion picture.”

As Gretchen walked off the set, Steve queried, “What are you gonna do?” Coyly, Gretchen replied, “It’s a secret!” Following up, Steve asked, “Are you gonna be like the local newsperson or an anchorperson?” Gretchen responded, “Something like that.”

Probing, Steve demanded, “Where are they filming the movie?” Gretchen insisted, “It’s a secret!” “Albuquerque, New Mexico?” Steve persisted.

As Gretchen ignored Steve’s question, Maria queried, “What made you pick that location?” Putting his hand to his forehead suggestively, Steve said, “A voice in my head!” Apparently, to their F&F producers, Maria laughed, “Oh, you told him!”

According to a New Mexico Film Office press release, “feature Persecuted” began mid-July and will end in early August in Albuquerque. Gretchen’s probable “major motion picture” is co-produced by Oscar-winning Gray Frederickson (Apocalypse Now and Godfather) and includes actors, James Remar (Django: Unchained, X-Men: First Class, etc.); Bruce Davison (Lost, X-Men, etc.), and Fred Thompson (Die Hard 2 and Law & Order and former U.S Senator of Tennessee). (The plot revolves around an evangelist framed by a Senator for the murder of a young girl and the persecution that inevitably ensues.)

Gretchen Carlson: “Persecuted”? Or, will she, perhaps, “Transcend” it all?

H/t: J$P.

Clayton Morris “Returning Champ”: Not!

July 22, 2013

2012 “New York’s Funniest Reporter” no-shows at the Comic Strip Live Sunday (and fails to congratulate the new 2013 winner, an FNC colleague on F&F the very next day). Last night, FNC’s “Dancing Machine” meteorologist Janice Dean was crowned as 2013 New York’s Funniest Reporter (along with PIX 11 reporter Magee Hickey) at the illustrious comedy club, Comic Strip Live. Strangely missing from the stage was the 2012 winner, Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris, who was scheduled to return “for an encore” as “Returning Champ.”

This morning, odder yet, Clayton did not even acknowledge his new successor Janice when he showed up on Fox & Friends for his social media segment with F&F co-host Gretchen Carlson:* Less than fifteen minutes earlier, Gretchen had teased him and his interview as she touted Janice’s big win as “New York’s Funniest Reporter,” noting that Clayton had won the same award last year. (Interestingly, in that promo, Gretchen did not reveal that Clayton had failed to appear as planned at the Comic Strip Live event last night even though she did note FNC Senior Medical News Editor Dr. Manny Avarez‘s absence from his initially scheduled placement in the show.)

However, in the “After the Show Show,” Gretchen “let the cat out of the bag” as she discussed “New York’s Funniest Reporter” contest on the curvy couch with co-host Steve Doocy and FNC meteorologist Maria Molina.** After Gretchen had lauded victor Janice’s performance and Steve mentioned third-place winner Charles Payne, Maria asked about Clayton Morris’s routine.*** When Gretchen stammered, “Clayton didn’t, no, Clayton did not, he won last year but he was not there last night,” Maria seemed suddenly befuddled. Looking uncomfortable, Gretchen lamely answered, “But, he was on our show this morning: Maybe, that’s why.”

Or, maybe, not.

*F&F – 07/22/13 (@ 6:11 a.m. ET)

**After the Show Show (vid via J$P) – 07/22/13

*** Ibid at @ 4:33/05:24.

Janice Dean: NY’s 2013 Comedic Co-Queen

July 22, 2013

FNC’s “Dancing Machine” heats up the Comic Strip Live stage. Last night, Fox News meteorologist Janice Dean was crowned the co-champion of the 2013 “New York’s Funniest Reporter” at the famed Upper East Side comedy club. (She shared the honor with New York PIX 11 reporter Magee Hickey.) Janice beat out five other contestants including FNC biz contributor Charles Payne, who won third place honors. As to Janice’s winning performance, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson gushed, “It was hilarious”, “It was the Top Ten weather terminology that can sometimes be a little hot that really sealed the deal for her.”*

However, Janice’s FNC fans should not expect to see any video of her sexy routine. This morning, when Fox & Friends co-anchor Brian Kilmeade asked Gretchen if any of Janice’s Comic Strip Live clips would be forthcoming, she replied, “Let me just say this: She did the Top Ten Weather Terms to music that have a certain–um, hm, how should I say this to keep it clean?…It had a lot to do with heat!”** Elaborating, she conceded that Janice’s stand-up comedy would not be appropriate for a family television show but that it was “hilarious.”

Janice Dean: 2013 Comic Co-Queen and FNC’s naughty “Dancing Machine”!

[Author’s aside: Reader, FNC makeup maven Maureen Walsh Tweeted fab photos of Janice during her performance [1] and of her and her FNC friends, including, Maureen,  at the “VICTORY DINNER” [1,2]: Happily, she also RT’d a great pic by Jamie Colby of Janice at the mike after her victory [1].

*After the Show Show (vid via J$P) – 07/22/13 (@3:55/5:24).

**Fox & Friends – 07/22/13 (@ 6:12 a.m. ET)

Fox & Friends Fail: “Sh*t” Hits the Fans

July 10, 2013

And “the fan,” too? Today, Fox & Friends fans were the victims of a scatological aural assault this morning. Even though some may have felt that way when they first heard that heir apparent F&F Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota was snubbed in favor of outsider ABC View babe Elisabeth Hasselback (for Gretchen Carlson‘s seat on the curvy couch), they actually were accosted with it as F&F transitioned to its final half hour after a baseball segment with erstwhile NY Mets pitcher Al Leiter.

When co-anchor Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy completed their interview of Leiter, Gretchen teased the final thirty minutes: When she had finished, the camera panned back to the trio on the mock field as producers aired Blake Shelton’s “Boys Round Here.” Apparently, someone had forgot to read the lyrics: As the final seconds ran, Blake is heard singing, “Backwoods legit, don’t take no sh*t.” Someone hit the mute button but to no avail: the damage had been done.

Today, the “sh*t” hit the fans. Did it hit their fan, too? Time will tell.

[Author's aside: In a classy response to her fervid fans who thought that she had been slighted, Aly Tweeted, "Hi Everyone -- thanks for the kind words of support. Stay tuned... I'll tweet more soon."]

“Haggling” Gretchen Gone: Hottie Hasselbeck In

July 10, 2013

Finally. Carlson “promoted” to her own afternoon show. As Fox & Friends began this morning, co-anchor Gretchen Carlson announced to her Fox & Friends viewers that she was leaving the curvy couch sometime in September for her own Fox News afternoon show. Referencing obliquely the New York Post “Page Six” exclusive yesterday that she would be replaced by The View‘s co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and that she would get a one-hour show in the early fall, a smiling Gretchen threw up her hands, saying, “Welcome, everybody! Hey, I, I think we’ve been in the news recently!”

The news comes as little surprise to cable news watchers who have noticed that Gretchen has seemed to be increasingly absent from the show over the past year. On August 4, 2012, Carpe Diem noted in “Gretchen’s Last Summer Vacation” her very frequent vacations and F&F‘s showcasing of possible replacements, including regular fill-ins, Alisyn Camerota and Ainsley Earhardt, and outside talent, Dara Torres and Kara DioGuardi. Over a month later, New York Magazine indicated that Gretchen’s “conspicu[ous] absen[ces] from Fox  & Friends for days on end” that summer coincided with her “haggling over her contract terms,” including a contentious one for her own show, with Fox News.

Apparently, Gretchen has finally won that year-long battle with the FNC suits. Now, she will have to live or die on her own smarts, talent, and charisma. After seven years of Gretchen’s being buttressed by her bulwark F&F co-hosts, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, Roger Ailes and his Fox family and friends will finally find out if she can stand on her own.

Update 1: J$P “‘advance'” video of Gretchen explaining her “move forward in [her] career.” H/t, Johnny.

Update 2: In Elisabeth’s adieu on The View today, she emotionally declared, “I’m really happy and excited to confirm that indeed I will be joining the Fox & Friends team in September. And, [I] would like to thank Mr. Roger Ailes, Bill Shine, [and] the entire news channel for this incredible opportunity. Today is officially my last day at The View.” [Vid via Mediaite.com - @ 1:03/9:16.]


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