Archive for the ‘Eric Bolling’ Category

Post-Op Elisabeth Returns

November 16, 2014

Hasselbeck: “No additions: only removals!” Fox & Friends co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck returned to the curvy couch Friday with much fanfare. In his pre-show tease, guest co-host Eric Bolling altered the usual tagline, saying, “Mornings are better with ‘Friends’ and Elisabeth.” Subsequently, as the camera panned in on Elisabeth, Eric, and co-anchor Steve Doocy, Steve sweetly intoned, “Studio E as in Elisabeth Hasselbeck.”

Kissing Elisabeth on the cheek, Steve queried, “You are back!…Where have you been?”

Elisabeth jested, “You know, just hanging out! That’s all!”

Turning serious, she answered, “Look…I’m so glad and thankful, really thankful to be back with all of you.” Elaborating, she said, “I had a bit of scare….I had a tumor [size of a tennis ball]* in my abdomen….Doctor said, ‘Look, you got to get it out by the end of the month: We don’t like how it looks.’ Explicating further, she said, “I did what they said….I had a scary week where we didn’t know what the results were but I’m okay….I had the blessing of it not being cancer….I got a clear and clean bill of health.”

Chiming in, Eric remarked, “So many prayers for you!” As he and Steve held her hand, Elisabeth responded, “I’m sorry my palms are sweaty but I know you guys love me like a sister [so] you understand.” Put the icing on the segment [pun intended], Steve asked, “You know what would make you happy right now? Cake!”

As one of the crew brought in a cake festooned in red, white, and blue, Steve exclaimed, “It’s a news channel so we got a cake from somebody in the news, Cake Boss.” Cooing, Elisabeth, responded, “Oh, and my favorite colors….Thank you, Cake Boss.” Bringing some snark to militate slightly against any treacle, Eric jibed, “Wherever you are!”

Concluding the segment, Elisabeth tearfully declared, “I don’t like a fuss: you know that! But, this is, this is a special day: I’m really, really thankful. I’m really thankful!” Subsequently, she thanked FNC honcho Roger Ailes for his support and threatened to “whipping on” co-host Brian Kilmeade anew “in some obstacle courses” after she healed. Perchance, addressing any Internet rumors, she playfully pointed to her breasts, proclaimed, “No additions, only removals happened while I was gone!”

“Clear and clean”: glad you are well, Elisabeth! Welcome back!

*F&F – 11/14/14 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET).

Unlike Kilmeade, Eric Mans Up: Apologizes

September 26, 2014

Bolling: “When I got home, I got the look!” Greta was right: Did The Five co-host Eric Bolling ever “get into so much trouble” for dismissing the ISIS-bombing U.A.E.’s first female fighter pilot as “Boobs on the ground” in a Five segment Wednesday! And, yesterday, he “manned” up and apologized for his offensive jest.

After Eric’s Five co-anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle introduced the “One More Thing” segment, she called on him immediately. Looking straight into the camera, Eric remarked, “Okay, for my ‘One More Thing’ tonight, I want to go back to yesterday: About this time, I made a joke. When I got home, I got the look–and realized [that] some people didn’t think it was funny at all: I said sorry to my wife, and I apologize to all of you as well.” For emphasis, he added, “I just want to make that very clear!”

If Eric’s apology were not very clear, Kimberly added, “And, you love women, and you have respect for them.” Chastened, Eric concurred, “And, I do.”

Kudos, Eric! Kilmeade could learn from you.

Eric & Greg: “Boobs on the Ground”?

September 25, 2014

Greta: “Ouch! Oh, man!…They’re going to get into so much trouble over that one!”* Yesterday, The Five co-anchor Kimberly Guilfoyle saluted a true “femme fatale,” U.A.E. ace Major Mariam Al Mansouri (during the “One Last Thing” segment): The U.A.E.’s first female pilot, who serves as squadron leader, led the American/Arab air strikes as she and the boys wreaked havoc on ISIS on the Syrian front. Instead of celebrating the Major in a part of the world where a woman sometimes cannot even drive and oft has to hide behind a burka, Kimberly’s co-hosts, Greg Gutfeld and Eric Bolling, acting like puerile, pubescent schoolboys, took cheap misogynistic shots.

After Kimberly had lauded Mansouri a/k/a “Lady Liberty” for “raining hell down on ISIS,” Greg jejunely jested, “The problem is after she bombed it, she, she couldn’t park it.” Chuckling, a less than clever Eric punned, “Would that be considered ‘boobs on the ground’ or no?” As Kimberly looked down in incredulity, even the ever bawdy co-anchor Bob Beckel looked on in disbelief, exclaiming, “Did you just say what I thought you said!””

“Boobs on the ground,” Eric? No, just boobs on The Five. And, not the nice kind.

[Author’s aside: The subtitle, supra, refers to the final segment on On the Record with Greta Van Susteren last night: As the show concluded, Greta remarked, “And, live TV, well it can be unpredictable like the discussion on The Five today about the U.A.E.’s first fighter pilot bombing ISIS. Ouch!” After playing the clip of The Five segment describing the aforementioned juvenile exchanges, Greta remarked, “Oh, man! Do you think that the gents on The Five minus Bob should get a do-over on that one? They’re going to get into so much trouble over that one!”]

Eric “Explains” Kid Diss: I’m a Dog Lover!

November 19, 2013

“I got beat up all day on…the Internet!” One more thing! During the final Five segment Monday, co-anchor Eric Bolling tried to “explain” away his dissing of viral sensation toddler Beau earlier in the day on Fox & Friends (vid). Introducing his “apology,” Eric showed a few pics of Beau and his puppy pal Theo adorably cuddling as they napped and then aired the F&F clip for which Carpe Diem gave him grief for incredibly asking a mother to give her grumpy toddler to someone off screen during an interview. After the snippet ran, Eric remarked, “So that was me recommending, ‘No…keep Theo the dog, and put Beau to the side. I got beat up all day on, on the Internet!”

Looking into the camera, Eric implored, “But, you have to understand something: I’m a dog lover!” Pointing toward the viewer, he continued, “Look at this picture someone sent to me. My brother-in-law sent this to me today. That’s Freedom and me.” As a picture of a big dog licking an eyes-closed Eric on the lips appeared on the screen, Jasper‘s “mum,” fellow co-host Dana Perino exclaimed, “Oh, my god” and co-anchor Greg Gutfeld gibed, “This is perverted!” Uncowed, Eric continued, “We are BFF’s. I love that dog!”

Eric’s explanation: Feeble at best. A red herring? Yes. But, at least, he tried!

Eric Bolling: F&F Bully? “I’m Sorry!”

November 18, 2013

Subbing for infamous F&F “child abuser” Brian Kilmeade, Eric gives cute kid the hook–but he is sorry.* On Fox & Friends this morning, Five co-host Eric Bolling took filling in for Brian, perhaps, a bit too seriously. As F&F fans may remember, Brian made two-year-old basketball phenom Titus Ashby cry when he carelessly rebounded a basketball for the toddler and inadvertently hit him in the nose with it [vid-07/11/13)]: Today, Eric may not have made a baby boy cry but he certainly had little tolerance for one who did (i.e., one who was more than understandably agitated at having to appear on national television at the ungodly time of 4:33 a.m. PT). To wit, incredibly, he asked a sleepy-eyed, cranky California child’s mom to hand him off to someone else off camera as their interview began. Oops!

In a segment scheduled far too early for man or beast on the Pacific Coast, mommy blogger Jessica Shyba appeared with her son Beau in one arm and her puppy Theo in the other. As producers aired the now viral adorable boy/pup nap-time pics, Beau and Theo began to tussle with each other–like two playfully bellicose brothers–as Shyba struggled to keep a handle on them both. Sympathetically, co-host Steve Doocy remarked, “Jessica, if you want to put one of them down, go ahead.”

Gratefully, Shyba responded “okay” as she handed the puppy to one out of the camera’s eye. As she did, Eric exclaimed, “No! Leave that one! Put the other one down! I’m just kidding!” Perchance, sensing that he, in truth, had not been jesting, Shyba handed her baby boy Beau to the person off cam and took back the puppy. Apparently, realizing his faux pas, Eric chuckled, “Ah, I, I was just kidding. I’m sorry!”

Later, when the interview began to end, Steve kindly asked, “You want to bring Beau in one last time just  for a ‘so long,’ or is he out of the room?” Chuckling uncomfortably, Eric interjected, “Yes!” Smiling, Shyba answered, “He’s out of the room.”

Subsequently, after co-anchor Elisabeth Hasselbeck thanked Shyba, Theo, and Beau for joining the co-hosts, Steve looked over at Eric with arched eyebrows and a questioning look. Reddening, Eric protested, “I was kidding! I was teasing!” Chastening Eric, Steve riposted, “What’s the matter with you!” Concurring, Elisabeth aptly concluded, “You’re giving a mom a hard time early in the morning. That is messed up!”

*Author’s aside: Eric Bolling’s “brother” Bob Beckel gave that moniker to Brian–to his great discomfit–when he subbed on the Five shortly after Brian’s ill-thrown pass to Titus.

Five’s Bolling: Hasselbeck Hotter than Gretchen?

September 14, 2013

F&F’s Kilmeade: Carlson “gets a week off and then she’s back in action.” Oops! FNC Five anchor Eric Bolling and Brian Kilmeade may have been a bit too candid about the co-host change at Fox & Friends and the debut date of Gretchen Carlson‘s new FNC show Thursday.

In the penultimate segment of the Five (September 12), Eric announced that blond beauty “Elisabeth Hasselbeck will join the [F&F] team” on the following Monday.* As a frequent F&F fill-in co-host, Eric seemed especially excited to have her aboard, exclaiming, “She’s definitely bringing up the hotness chart on, on the Fox & Friends.”** Appearing to catch Eric’s seemingly unwitting slight of Gretchen who would leave her seat on the curvy couch the very next day, Five co-anchor Andrea Tantaros groaned, “Hey! Ohhh!”

Coming to Gretchen’s seeming succor, also, Five co-host Dana Perino intoned, “I’m excited for Gretchen, too, because she’ll have a show, uh, I guess, sometime during the day.” Interjecting immediately, Five guest co-host Brian Kilmeade replied, “Yeah! Sometime during the day, they’re going to announce this week that she gets a week off and then she’s back in action.” Appearing to try to cover for Brian’s apparent faux pas, Dana asked, “Just a week?” Smiling sheepishly, Brian replied, “Yeah, I think.”

On Thursday, it was definitely five o’clock at Fox News: In vino veritas, Eric and Brian? Elisabeth might not mind but Gretchen just might.

*The Five – 09/12/13 (@ 5:49 p.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 5:51 p.m. ET.

Five’s Beckel Unhinged: [Medgar] Evers “Turncoat”

June 19, 2013

Oops! Bob bizarrely loses his civil rights mantle cred. Today, the proud self-proclaimed son of a “liberal who went into the South and was arrested 57 times in the civil rights movement registering blacks” and who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., evidenced an appalling lack of knowledge when it came to a pivotal chapter in the nations history. During a segment on black Louisiana state senator Elbert Guillory who changed from the Democratic party to the GOP, Beckel tried to impugn him by trying to recall another black Louisiana “turncoat.” Unfortunately, for Bob, it backfired on him, his co-hosts, and The Five.

In the Five block moderated by co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle,* Bob tried to push-back when his more conservative co-hosts, Kimberly, Eric Bolling, and Greg Gutfeld appeared to defend Guillory’s decision. Looking down, Beckel declared, “Louisiana has had a long history–and I wish [that] I could remember the name of this guy whose brother was a very well known civil rights activist who was I think a Congressman. And, this guy converted to the Republican Party because he was paid to convert to the Republican Party to sift off the votes from the Democrats.”

After further discussion with his conservative co-hosts (including Dana Perino) of Guillory, Bob errantly announced, “I just remembered the name of the guy who was, his brother became a turncoat.”

Derisively, Kimberly enjoined, “[‘C]ause the control room gave it to you in your ear?”

Struggling mightily, Bob stammered, “Megan, Meg, Megan, Malcolm Evers’ brother, Charles Evers’ brother, Malcolm…got, got paid money to go on the Republican Party to sift off votes the Democrat.”

To make matters even worse, when Greg asked, “Were you bringing, why, to denigrate this man’s brave,” Bob declared, “I didn’t deny what this guy’s, what he was saying but Louisiana has a history of doing this. They have a history of doing it!”

Unfortunately, Bob’s bluster ruled the day on the Five. Perhaps, just as embarrassing or even more so, none of his co-anchors nor F&F‘s vaunted control room challenged his addled version of the civil rights struggle–in Mississippi!

Clearly, a muddled Bob was referring to the Mississippi civil rights martyr Medgar Evers and his activist older brother Charles Evers. It was Medgar who died at the hands of Byron Beckwith for the cause in June 11, 1963, and Charles who took his place as field secretary of the MS NAACP. Subsequently, Charles became the mayor of Fayette in 1963 (and the NAACP’s “Man of the Year”); a gubernatorial candidate; a U.S. Senate candidate: And, in 1989, Charles switched his allegiance to the GOP.

Today in Bob’s world, Louisiana and Mississippi looked alike: “Megan” Evers, “Malcolm” Evers, Charles Evers, Medgar Evers were all one and the same, too. Not quite the civil rights account of which Bob’s Dad would be rightly proud. Nor should Bob, his co-hosts, or The Five suits.

*The Five – 06/19/13 (@ 5:38 p.m. ET)

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle’s “Basic Instinct”

June 15, 2013

Juan Williams: “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him!” Saucy Kimberly Guilfoyle scored on more than a few levels with her Five co-hosts and fans in her “bowdlerized” Basic Instinct display of last week. As Kimberly revealed her dominance in b’ball on Friday (06/07/13), she brought “rowwr power” to a whole new level.

In the Five segment designed to showcase the co-anchors shot-making prowess–or lack thereof (a la toddler Titus Ashby’s shellacking of Shaq on Jimmy Kimmel) co-hosts Kimberly, Juan, Eric Bolling, Andrea Tantaros and fill-in Brian Kilmeade took turns at throwing mini-basketballs at a small toy goal.* Starting off their friendly rivalry to see who could score the most points in twenty seconds, Brian supplied several balls to Kimberly. As the short-skirted lovely began to lob them at the basket with much success, Brian scurried to and fro to deliver them back to San Francisco’s comely former first lady.

Clapping enthusiastically, an adoring Juan exclaimed, “Yeah, Kimberly! Oh! Oh! Go, Kimberly, go! Rack ‘em up!” As Kimberly eagerly scrambled for the balls and gave viewers and Brian a PG-rated Basic Instinct, she was given more than double the time that she had been actually allotted. As Kimberly began to score with alacrity, literally and figuratively, Five rival beauty Andrea exclaimed, “Who’s keeping score?”

Subsequently, an apparently addled Juan threw more than a few air balls in his ill-fated attempt to match Kimberly. When former Pittsburg Pirate draftee Eric Bolling tried to get his “game on,” comely Kimberly kicked her right gam up Rockette-style. Pointing to his gorgeous colleague, an ardent Juan declared, “Wait! Wait! You’re distracting him! You can’t kick your legs to distract him!”

Apparently, Kimberly must have done so. As Eric completed his feckless effort, Kimberly pulled her hiked skirt back down and raised her hands in triumph, exclaiming, “Oh, yeah! Wooh, hooh!” Subsequently, when Andrea begin her successful distaff attempt, Kimberly shouted, “Go! Girls rule! Yeah!” And, they did.

Futilely, sports guy Brian tried to compete thereafter with little success. When he had finished, he queried, “Do we have a winner, control room?” After the producers seemingly whispered in his ear, Brian declared, “Kimberly and Andrea have tied.” Apparently, abandoning his formerly “so hot” Andrea for the moment, Juan raised Kimberly’s hand high in the air in victory, proclaiming her “the champ.”

Sexy Kimberly Guilfoyle: “The girl [just] can’t help it!”

*The Five – 06/08/13 @5:40 p.m. ET (Saturday re-airing of prior day)

[Author’s aside: Sorry, CR readers for the delay: “Cleaning Out My Closet.”

Beckel Bawdy: Malkin Unamused

January 9, 2013

“Maligned” Tantaros: Don’t worry. I can handle carrots.” Five co-anchor Andrea Tantaros was almost unfazed by her co-anchor Bob Beckel who aimed his latest ribald remark squarely at her. In the penultimate segment of the Five yesterday about organic food, Andrea wielded an organic carrot and pointed it at Bob: never one to miss a moment to utter a double entendre, Bob cracked that she looked like she “could handle a hairy carrot.”* As a grinning Andrea rolled her eyes with her mouth agape in incredulity, the usually prim and proper co-anchor Dana Perino smiled and turned to co-host Eric Bolling, pleading, “Help him, Eric! Help him!”

Chuckling, Eric skillfully channeled the discussion back to the merits of organic veggies. As the segment began to conclude, Andrea, with her arms crossed in somewhat mock indignation, haltingly asked, “Are, you going to apologize?” Less than convincingly, Bob replied, “Yes, I apologize!” Grabbing a carrot from the plate, Bob protested, “But, that’s because you were waving it at my head!” As Andrea shook her head at yet another of his double entendres, Bob laughed, “My head? Whatever! I’m sorry!”

Clueless or wickedly clever, Dana interposed, “You remember the boneless chicken ranch?…The Far Side cartoon, Gary Larson did a thing about the boneless chicken ranch and the chickens were all like this [her head limp] over the fence.” Looking at Dana with a goatish gleam, an unrepentant Bob declared, “I’ve been to the Chicken Ranch [brothel (NSW)] in…Las Vegas. That sort of reminds me of a night of drinking.”

With her arms still crossed, Andrea acerbically announced, “That’s [a la boneless chicken necks] how you are going to be after this show!” Raising his voice, Bob riposted, “Alright, will you take it easy? You’re the one who talked about my–never mind!” Giggling, Andrea shook her anew at her bumbling, bumptious Bob.

Soon after the show, indignant Twitchy.com founder Michelle Malkin Tweeted, “NOT breaking: Bob Beckel said something sexually degrading and misogynist. And will get away with it. Again.” [Cf. Twitchy.com‘s “Gross: Serial misogynist Bob Beckel directs vulgar remark at Andrea Tantaros.” Seemingly, in response, Andrea Pooh-poohed the matter [comparing it to Brent Musburger’s BCS Miss Alabama mutterings], jesting, “Don’t worry. I can handle carrots, in fact so well that I hit Bob with them off screen. He’s applying for a job at ESPN as we speak.”

Apparently, Bob will be Bob. And, Andrea appears okay with that. Michelle? Not so much.

*The Five – 01/08/12 (@ 5:52 a.m. ET)

Dave M.I.A.: “With My Little Angel”

December 8, 2012

In the hospital? Today, an absent Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Dave Briggs watched his show from a certain undisclosed location–with a special young lady in his life. Cryptically, he Tweeted, “Thanks @ericbolling for filling in, watching you @ClaytonMorris @ainsleyearhardt w/my little angel lockerz.com/s/267345049.”

In Dave’s missive, he included a poignant photo of his ten-month-old daughter Logan. The beautiful little girl appeared to be sipping from a baby bottle in a hospital baby bed (as F&FW aired on a TV screen in the distance). No explanation was given–even to his concerned Twitter followers.

Hope your “little angel” is well, Dave. Or, gets well soon!

[Author’s aside: Even though the responses of Dave’s fans were available earlier in the day, they no longer appear to be as Twitter turned his “Details” to “More***.”]

Bob Beckel: “Did the Beeper Work?”

November 14, 2012

[That’s] what I’m really worried about.” B***s***? The Five fell strangely silent today during a “live” segment for approximately eleven seconds–with no explanation.* Displacing its polemic panel, an ominous “The Five” star graphic atop a blue background appeared suddenly onscreen. The ghost of Mrs. Grundy?

During this segment, his segment, co-host Eric Bolling posited that “President Obama a/k/a Mr. Transparent [was] rope-a-dope[ing] the press when asked about the Petraeus affair.” When guest co-anchor K.T. McFarland and co-host Bob Beckel began to debate whether President Obama was availing himself of “plausible deniability,” Eric acerbically interjected, “What you really don’t want is the President of the United States to lie, in fact.” Without warning nor explanation, the audio was muted and the screen went blue (with “The Five” star).

After about twelve seconds had elapsed, The Five co-hosts reappeared seemingly tacitly attesting to the rude interruption: Kimberly Guilfoyle laughed as she hid her face in her left hand; Greg Gutfeld chuckled to himself and looked over at Bob in amusement; K.T.  tried to keep her composure as she looked straight ahead and blinked her eyes rapidly; Bob looked into the distance with his mouth agape; and Eric appeared to try to read the teleprompter with feigned gravity.

After praising the military who stood apart from their perchance rogue rakish leaders, Eric seemed to question the credibility of the sexy socialite Jill Kelly who allegedly ignited the inquery and laughing asked roue Bob if he had ever known such an “honorary consul general.” Looking over at Eric, Bob jested, “What I’m really concerned about is did the beeper work?”

Apparently, loathe to acknowledge that The Five might not be exactly live anymore, Eric monotoned, “Did the beeper work?” Slightly smiling, Bob anwered, “Yeah.” Softly, Kimberly unconvincingly interposed, “No.”

Then, as if a producer had whispered in her ear to change the topic posthaste, Kimberly animatedly stammered, “Listen! The beep, this is a woman that I thing we’re going to learn a lot more about.” Tellingly, Greg glanced at the panel bemusedly, chuckled to himself, and beamed back at someone offset.

In the following segment, Greg appeared to translucently reveal the secret of the censored segment. Re President Obama’s view of whether climate change caused Hurricane Sandy, Greg defiantly declared, “He even admits finally  that that’s baloney–or b.s.!”** As Greg began to address Bob, a chuckling Eric looked up from his papers, exclaiming, “Don’t say it!”

Don’t say it indeed, Bob. At least, on air!

*The Five – 11/14/12 (@ 5:19 a.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 5:29 a.m. ET.

Ainsley Admits: “Yes, I’m Getting Married”

August 15, 2012

Finally! FNC anchor Ainsley Earhardt acknowledged on Fox & Friends Monday that she is indeed wedding anew. But, it should come as no surprise to her fans, at least, her Carpe Diem ones, who should have suspected that the single Southern belle was no longer lonely. Approximately two months earlier, CD reported that that Ainsley had Tweeted an Fox & Friends First pic of her with an apparent wedding ring on her left finger: Further, it noted that exactly two weeks earlier she had interviewed and joined Nikki Glor a/k/a Nikki Fitness in an F&FF fitness segment entitled, “Wedding Workout: Exercise to Get You Ready for the Big Day.” And, now, Ainsley has made her new engagement status official.

On Monday, Ainsley made her connubial announcement as the very first block of F&FF concluded Monday. When she had finished reading the headline news which ended with a story about Jennifer Aniston’s new engagement for a second marriage, fellow guest co-host Eric Bolling wryly remarked, “The second most important wedding coming up.” Sitting back and smiling coyly, Ainsley haltingly asked, “I know. Oh, the second most important?” Before Eric could answer, anchor Steve Doocy interjected, “After yours!” Beaming broadly and ducking her head demurely, a reddening Ainsley declared, “Yes, I’m getting married.”

Congratulations, Ainsley! But, who’s the lucky fellow?

[Author’s aside: Eric’s premature proclamation? Perhaps. Even though Ainsley twice Tweeted (1, 2) Monday about the show, she failed to mention the good news to her Twitter followers.]

Fox & Friends – 08/13/12 (@ 6:12 a.m. ET)

“Free P*ssy” Penalty: Bob Beckel Apologizes

August 8, 2012

“I’m very sorry….I’m gonna be quiet now.” Today, The Five co-host Bob Beckel apologized for his “foul” mouth and announced that he would be having the day off tomorrow because of it. As Carpe Diem reported Monday, an apoplectic Bob incoherently stammered “free, pre p*ssy” when he was defending President Obama’s purported disdain for his GOP opponent Mitt Romney. (A day later, after reviewing Johnny Dollar’s video of the incident, HuffPo aptly opined that Bob was “referring to…Reince Preibus,” the GOP National Chairman.)

This afternoon, during the final Five segment, a chastened Bob declared, “My ‘one more thing’ is to say, ‘I’m off tomorrow and that’s going to make me happy and…a lot of conservatives out there happy. I need a break because lately on this show…my mouth has been moving a little bit too much and sometimes dumb things–which is surprising for a MENSA guy–comes [sic] out of it.”

As his co-host Eric Bolling laughed off camera, Bob continued, “Last night when I was checking Twitter, I saw that some people out there were offended by something I said.”

Then, raising his palms in a mea culpa, Bob declared, “Now, I’m not going to say it again but I want to say to those who were offended, ‘I’m very sorry.’ That’s the last you’re going to hear that. I’m going to be quiet now.” Announcing anew Fox News’ apparent one-day sanction, Bob added, “I’ll see you on Friday.”

Dana Perino: “Little Hooters”

July 27, 2012

“I would never get a job at [Hooters].” The Five co-host Dana Perino showed her saltier side early this week: on Tuesday, President Bush’s rather prim and proper Press Secretary discussed her less than bountiful bosom with uncharacteristic aplomb.* Bawdily, she posited that she could not get a job at Hooters but that she could–at Little Hooters.

During a Five segment Tuesday (transcript), the co-anchors Dana, Greg Gutfeld, Bob Beckel, Andrea Tantaros, and Eric Bolling conversed about a coffee chain being investigated for hiring mainly nubile beauties. As they spoke of various businesses doing likewise, Greg teased Dana, asking, “Dana, unlike me, you’re not gorgeous: Do you feel like you’ve lost out on many TV jobs because of this?”

Self-deprecatingly, Dana riposted, “Let’s give another example–Hooters: I would never get a job there. And there’s a reason.”

Feigning ignorance, Greg impishly replied, “I can’t even ask why.”

Seemingly, somewhat piqued at Greg’s impertinence, Dana responded, “We all know why. Okay? And, I wouldn’t apply either.”

When it was co-host Bob Beckel’s turn to weigh in on the “hotness” hiring controversy, of course, the old goat had to rib Dana all the more: he racily insisted, “Dana, you could have gotten [sic] hired at Hooters if you wanted to.”

Jauntily, Dana rejoined, “Little Hooters.”**

Dana, “Little Hooters”? Maybe. But, you are proving yourself to be one big hoot.

[Author’s aside: When the segment began to conclude, co-anchor Eric Bolling aptly added, “The only thing that’s worthy to get pick[ed] up on by media is ‘I could work at Little Hooters.'”]

*Red Eye – 07/24/12 (approximately 3:35 a.m. ET)

**N.B. LexisNexis News improperly attributes the “Little Hooters” remark to Andrea. However, its transcript evinces the error as it subsequently details Greg’s reply, “That sounds like a restaurant for kids” and Dana’s facetious response, “That’s what I meant.” Furthermore, the Five footage will reflect that fact.

Gretchen: “Not About Discussing My Marriage”

July 18, 2012

Deja vu: “Screwed” by Dick Morris. Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson appeared quite uncomfortable today when Fox News contributor Dick Morris used her view of the future of her marriage to sports agent Casey Close as a political metaphor. However, Morris seemed oblivious to Grechen’s apparent discomfit but her co-anchor Steve Doocy and her guest co-host Eric Bolling certainly seemed acutely aware of it.

In Morris’ political segment this morning, Gretchen queried, “Will [President Obama’s recent controversial small business comments] actually affect the voters in the swing states? Because I think a lot of people are amazed that it’s still a neck-and-neck race nationally. And, quite frankly, in the swing states President Obama’s winning right now.”*

Seemingly exasperated at Gretchen’s questionable recall of his past appearances, Morris replied, “Gretchen, we’ve been through this a hundred times together. He’s not winning: he’s losing by a lot. The polls of likely voters show a close race but the undecided always goes against the incumbent. ” Then, perhaps, piquing Gretchen more than was prudent, an impishly smiling Morris remarked, “Um, we talked about your marital history with that in mind. I said, ‘Are you going to be married to the same guy next year? And, you said, ‘Yes.'”

Grimacing, Gretchen softly responded, “Okay.” Meanwhile, Eric and Steve turned their gaze from the camera and looked away: Eric blindly into space and Steve warily off-set.”

Perhaps, sensing Gretchen’s discomfort and that of her co-anchors, Morris quickly commented, “And, I said, ‘Are you undecided?’ And, you said, ‘Not in the least!'” Seemingly still irked, an unamused Gretchen chuckled and looked down. Yet, Morris continued, “But, if you were undecided, it wouldn’t say good things about the marriage!”

Arching her eyebrows and shaking her head side-to-side, an apparently perturbed Gretchen stammered, “I’m only concerned about the, I’m just concerned about the election–not about discussing my marriage! But, anyway!”

As Yogi Berra might say, it was deja vu all over again: ironically, three months ago, Gretchen and Morris had virtually this same conversation. Last time, Gretchen was equally evasive in her response to Morris’ metaphor about her being undecided as to the future of her marriage. Then, she responded, “Not a good thing to say on national tv even if you were thinking it!”

But, perhaps, she just did. Again. Stay tuned.

Fox & Friends – 07/18/12 (@ 6:39 a.m. ET)

Fox & Friends First: “The Four” Now?

July 14, 2012

Patti Ann Brown, Ainsley Earhardt, Heather Childers, and Heather Nauert. Possibly, following in the footsteps of The Five, Fox & Friends First may be whittling down its number of initial hosts. As readers may recall, FNC announced the debut of The Five and listed ten rotating co-anchors including the current seven and Monica Crowley, Geraldo Rivera, and Judge Andrew Napolitano: When the Five celebrated its first anniversary last Monday on Fox & Friends, F&F co-anchor Gretchen Carlson noted that its roster had been pared down to seven (the “Magnificent Seven”), i.e., Greg Gutfeld, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Andrea Tantaros, Dana Perino, Juan Williams, and Eric Bolling.

In a similar fashion, Fox & Friends First started its new run in March with a slate of co-hosts that included not only the four that seem to be now predominating F&FF airplay qua anchors, i.e., Patti Ann Brown, Ainsley Earhardt, Heather Childers, and Heather Nauert but also Dave Briggs, Juliet Huddy, Julie Banderas, Anna Kooiman, Clayton Morris, Arthel Neville, and Jamie Colby. Even though the author has heard no new F&FF announcement, it’s website may provide a hint: only Patti Ann, Ainsley, and the two Heathers have their FNC bios listed on the official F&FF website.

“Nasty” Girl: Gretch’s Bawdy Ann Romney Joke

July 3, 2012

“Hold on, Mitt: you’re in for a ride!” Today, Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson got her own motor purring as she took racy delight in the sight of Ann Romney taking her man Mitt for a spin on a New Hampshire lake. In the “Shot of the Morning” segment (subtitled “Joy Ride: The Romneys on a Wild Adventure”), the saucy Swedish siren could not quite contain her wilder instints as producers aired pics of Mrs. Romney taking her putative GOP nominee hubby Mitt for a jet ski romp. Perhaps, having her hunky co-anchor Eric Bolling by her side did not exactly help.

As F&F returned for the second half hour of the show this morning, Eric simply narrated how the Romneys were spending their Fourth holiday week as the water-fun photos ran.* Interjecting, co-host Brian Kilmeade commented, “I think the key shot there is Ann Romney’s driving.” Laughing, Gretchen suggestively answered, “I like that!”

Subsequently, when the shot of an exuberant Ann Romney in control as her man Mitt held on for dear life aired (a second time), Gretchen remarked, “Look, she’s gunning it. Hold on, Mitt!” Then, cackling naughtily, she randily remarked, “You’re in for a ride!”

As Eric chuckled at Gretchen’s salacious jest, Brian ignored it and offered his own color commentary, joking, “We got to get ready for the Romney Olympics….They have a bunch of kids and they compete in a bunch of events.” Shaking her head at his slight, a smiling Gretchen replied, “Brian, my jokes just go right over your head. Right?” Trying to come chivalrously to his damsel’s succor, a grinning Eric interposed, “I heard it!”

Looking at Gretchen “innocently,” Brian impishly deadpanned, “What? No, go ahead. What did you say–you’re going for a ride?” Pointing to herself, Gretchen queried, “Did I over, did I over think that?” Beaming, Brian riposted, “Yeah, you over thought that.”

Grinning herself, an undaunted Gretchen laughed, “Okay. Today, Brian and I are going to be on the radio together. ” Arching her eyebrows saucily, she added, “And, it’s going to be nasty!”

Ann Romney: proper Mormon mom. Gretchen Carlson? “Nasty” girl!

*Fox & Friends – 07/03/12 (@ 6:31 a.m. ET)

“Wolf”! F&F Embraces CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta

March 14, 2012

Co-host Brian Kilmeade: “He finally found himself on the right network! Fox & Friends gave CNN’s chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta a very warm reception as he touted his brand new book, Monday Mornings.* In turn, Sanjay did not mention FNC’s rival CNN by name but he did open up to Brian and his co-anchors Eric Bolling and Gretchen Carlson with notable frankness about his favorite CNN colleague.

When Eric introduced Sanjay’s segment, he dubbed him “one of America’s top docs.” Subsequently, Brian elaborated that Sanjay was a “practicing physician at Emory University Hospital and author of the brand new novel Monday Mornings.”Then, a smiling Brian exclaimed, “And, he finally found himself on the right network!” In response, a smiling Dr. Sanjay chuckled heartily. Thereafter, he discussed his book with an eager audience of co-hosts.

As the interview of Sanjay began to conclude, Brian mischievously queried, “Can I ask you one question? You can duck this question if you want. But, if you had a choice between hanging out with Anderson Cooper or Wolf Blitzer (both top CNN anchors), who would you choose? Without a scintilla of hesitation, a grinning Gupta replied, “Wolfman every single time!”

Egging him on, Brian asked, “Much better than Anderson Cooper?” Beginning to hedge a tad, Sanjay said, “Well, not much better but Wolf’s a….” Before Sanjay could finish, Brian interposed, “A lot better? Smiling, Sanjay conceded, “A lot.”

Interjecting, a surprised Gretchen exclaimed, “Wow! I like, you didn’t take the Fifth on that question! Sanjay responded, “Well, I like to answer the questions, not duck.”  Meanwhile, a beaming Brian softly chorused, “He doesn’t duck!” Admiringly, Gretchen added, “Wow! Good for you!”

Unrepentant, Sanjay exclaimed, “Wolfman’s great!”

Then, as Sanjay’s segment concluded, Gretchen wished him continued success and promo’d his book once more. Grateful for his enthusiastic embrace by his FNC competitors, Sanjay earnestly exclaimed, “Thanks for having me! Appreciate it, guys!”

CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta: A future FNC “Medical A-Team” leader?

[Author’s aside: For American Morning fans during the John Roberts/Kiran Chetry era, F&F provided a redux almost: before erstwhile AM contributor Sanjay’s segment, his “bromance” buddy, whilom AM co-host John Roberts, appeared approximately thirty minutes earlier (as now an FNC senior national correspondent).** Had Sanjay brought along another certain friend who attended his big book bash last night, it really would have been AM revisited. That friend? Quondam AM co-anchor Kiran Chetry–ironically, a former Fox & Friends co-anchor.]

*Fox & Friends – 03/14/12 (@ 8:36 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends – 03/14/12 (@ 8:02 a.m. ET)

Update: Video of Sanjay’s segment via TVNewser.

Gretchen’s Beefcake: Shirtless Dave Briggs

March 12, 2012

Lusty Carlton: “Whoo-who! Alright! Wooh! Alright, Dave!…I might suggest that he does more of those segments.” This morning, Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson appeared to get all hot and bothered over the the sight of the bare chest of her handsome younger F&F Weekend counterpart Dave Briggs.

Reading the headline news mid-show, Gretchen reported Dave’s weekend Penguin Plunge in Westport, Connecticut, for Special Olympics of Connecticut.* As producers aired the accompanying vid of the swimmers taking their “Arctic” dip, she did not see him immediately: However, when Gretchen suddenly saw a close-up of a shirtless Dave fleeing the freezing cold water, she excitedly exclaimed, “There he is! There he is! Whoo-who! Alright! Wooh! Alright, Dave! Okay!”

Subsequently, after finishing the rest of her Connecticut Penguin Plunge story, Gretchen cooed, “I might suggest that he does more of those segments.” Looking over at Gretchen, guest co-host Eric Bolling shook his head and smiled uncomfortably. In response, Gretchen looked back at Eric and racily cackled,”Nice job, Dave.”

Then, segueing to their phone interview of Donald Trump, a grinning Gretchen queried, “Uh, Donald, are you going to be doing that anytime soon.” In reply, Trump declared, “Well, I’m not so sure. Doesn’t look too good to me.” Giggling, Gretchen randily raised her eyebrows and purred, “I was talking about going shirtless.”

When an amused Trump answered, “Well, shirtless I love. Right? Shirtless I love,” a smiling Gretchen answered, “Oh, okay.” Exasperated seemingly, Eric exclaimed, “Uh, can, can we move on now!” As Gretchen giggled anew, Trump laughed, “Okay. Alright.”

Perhaps, Gretchen has to move on this year. But, she gets another chance to gawk at more Briggs beefcake on New Year’s Day 2013. In fact, Gretchen gets double the pleasure: Dave plans to take the polar plunge in Maine then–with his friend F&FW meteorologist Rick Reichmuth.**

Poor Gretchen: it is going to be a long 2012.

*Fox & Friends – 03/12/12 (@ 7:33 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/11/12 (@ 7:34 a.m. ET)

Kimberly’s “21st Birthday”: Andrea’s 22 Shots!

March 10, 2012

Eric Bolling: “Bubblicious!” The Five co-anchor and former Victoria’s Secret model Kimberly Guilfoyle tried to play the naif Friday as she celebrated her “21st” birthday. But, co-hosts Andrea Tantaros and, yes, Dana Perino proudly let their audience know that they were “not that innocent.” As to the guys, not too surprisingly, Bob Beckel joined in as the bad boy and Eric was the good one.

When The Five returned for their penultimate segment yesterday to a strawberry shortcake birthday cake (Kimberly’s fave) and the Beatle’s “Birthday” tune, Kimberly sexily shimmied in her short red dress seated next to an appreciative Bob, who awkwardly danced along with her. Soon after the music ended, Bob announced Kimberly’s “21st birthday,” kidded her about the “special friend [that she had] brought with [her],” and asked her for her fondest memory of her “first” one. Pulling her hair back sensually, a chagrined Kimberly cooed, “So, listen. I only recently became a lot of fun, Bob: I know you may find this hard to believe.”

Randily, Bob replied, “No, baby, that’s not what I hear.”

Giggling, Kimberly responded, “That’s terrible.” Then, she continued, “But, on my twenty-first birthday, I was at UC, Davis–very nerdy, academic school….I ended up being the designated driver on my twenty-first birthday, and no one objected!…So, there I was with my glasses…so thick [that] I could see into the future. And, I was driving everybody and everyone [else] had a great time.”

Laughing, Bob riposted, “I was the designated drunk on my birthday. That’s why I can’t remember one of them.”

Subsequently, after having Kimberly blow out birthday candles, Bob asked Eric if he remembered what he did on his twenty-first birthday. Soberly, Eric responded, “I, I was knee deep in a baseball season…March of…’84 playing baseball on my way to…making a career out of baseball for a while: So, I probably didn’t celebrate as much as I could have.”

Dismissively, Bob jibed, “Really? Well, that was an interesting story. Okay, Dana?” Furrowing her eyebrows, a chuckling Dana answered, “Mine is not that great. I, it wasn’t like Kimberly where I was the designated driver. But, I just remember [that] I came home from college and there were a bunch of my friends home in Parker, Colorado, and we got together at my parents’ house.” With, a seemingly feigned nonchalance, she added, “And, I think, I guess we probably went to a bar. I don’t really, I don’t remember. It wasn’t that memorable.”

When Bob asked Andrea for her anecdote, she rhetorically queried, “So, I’m, apparently, the only one who had a great twenty-first birthday?” Smiling slightly, She remarked, “I don’t remember all that much. Isn’t that the point of a twenty-first birthday?” Elaborating, she said, “I went to a place called the Crocodile Rocks–classy, classy. My sister, who always wants to go out with me–my birthday is December 30th–so no one ever wants to go out on the 30th ’cause they don’t won’t to ruin themselves for New Year. Not my sister, though. She says, ‘We’re going to Crocodile Rocks [and] we’re inviting all your friends.” And, I did twenty-two shots.”

Amazed, Kimberly exclaimed, “No, you didn’t!” Shamelessly, Andrea answered, “I puked at sixteen but I did make it to twenty-two. As incredulous Kimberly rejoined, “How did you live through that? Are you serious?, Dana interjected, “But, why twenty-two?”  Chuckling, Andrea explained, “One for good luck. And, look where it brought me!”

Not to be outdone by Andrea, a rambling Bob replied, “I got to tell you. The only reason I remember that far back on my twenty-first birthday [is that] I was in the hospital the night of my twenty-first birthday because I got drunk and I was walking out of a bar and I fell over a bunch of garbage cans that had glass in them and I cut myself a little bit. That wasn’t so bad except that I rolled in it for fun and then I went to the hospital. But, I was okay….But, I don’t remember much of it.”

Subsequently, wrapping up Kimberly’s birthday segment, Bob asked his co-hosts for one word to describe the birthday babe. Eric exclaimed, “Bubblicious!” Dana chimed, “Sweet,” and Andrea answered, “Fun.” Perhaps, just a little jealous of Kimberly “special friend” off cam, a seemingly smitten Bob stammered, “Unbelievable, Baby! Yeah, no, really, you’re great. You’re wonderful….We love you and, and I know other people do, too, here in the building.” Knowingly, Kimberly chuckled, “A couple!”

Five fun: 21, 22, and Kimberly’s “couple.”


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