Archive for the ‘Clayton Morris’ Category

Geraldo: “My Whole Life Changed”

August 17, 2014

“I became a dope smoker.” * Fox News anchor Geraldo Rivera revealed on Fox & Friends Friday that the Beach Boys, the Beatles, and Bob Dylan changed his life–for better or for worse. As the final hour of F&F commenced, the show opened anew on the plaza with the Beach Boys playing “Surfin’ U.S.A.” in their debut on the “All American Summer Concert Series.” Segueing to the curvy couch, guest co-host Clayton Morris intoned, “I think [that] this is the song that changed Geraldo’s life, Geraldo Rivera.”

Animatedly, Geraldo answered, “It did! It did! It was right from 1963.” Elaborating, as he animatedly moved to the music, Geraldo remarked, “I was at Maritime College in the Bronx, Fort Schuyler: I was going to  have a military career. That song came out: I said to my friend Frankie de Checko (sp?) out on Long Island, ‘Come on: we’re going.’ We got into the old Chevy; we hit Route 66; [and we] went to California. And, my whole life changed because of the Beach Boys.” Laughing, he added, “And, the rest is history!”

Chiming in, F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade jested, “And, if it was [sic] the Beatles, you would have moved to London?” Grinning puckishly and gesticulating amiably, Geraldo riposted, “The Beatles is why I got long hair: So, I was very easily impressible.” Ever the open book, he added, “And, then Dylan: I became a dope smoker!”

Ever FNC’s provocateur!

Fox & Friends – 08/15/14 (@ 8:02 a.m. ET)

Sambora Strums Ainsley

May 3, 2014

Tucker Carlson: “There was a lot of touching…It was getting a little steamy! We cut away at the end.” Blond beauty FNC anchor Ainsley Earhardt had rocker Richie Sambora all hot and bothered this morning seemingly. In fact, by the end of her interview of the lead guitarist of Bon Jovi, she appeared to have the bad boy all primed for a romp in her perfumed “Bed of Roses” at Churchill Downs.

In the bumper promo preceding Ainsley’s interview of Sambora, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman cooed, “Our Ainsley Earhardt is at Churchill Downs. A very special guest: who’s that?”* As the camera panned to Ainsley and the Bon Jovi rocker, Sambora amorously caressed Ainsley’s bare left shoulder: Beaming, Ainsley animatedly answered, “I never thought I would say this but I’m getting warmed up by Richie Sambora.” Embracing her tightly, Sambora remarked, “Wooh! I’m getting warmed up, too, Baby!” As Anna chuckled off-camera, a reddening Ainsley turned to Sambora, exclaiming, “Thank you!”

After the commercial break, Anna and her co-hosts, Tucker Carlson and Clayton Morris, introduced the Kentucky Derby segment. Segueing to Ainsley’s interview, Anna remarked, “Our very own Ainsley Earhardt looking good! She’s doing some star-gazing right now, though: Who’s there with you, Ainsley?” Still in the embrace of Sambora, Ainsley replied, “One of our Fox favorite celebrities, Richie Sambora is here with me. Anna, you’re looking good in your hat.” Turning to Sambora, she added, “And, you look good, too!” Looking into her eyes, Sambora responded, “Oh, sweetheart! No, you look beautiful! Honestly, Ainz!”

Before the split-screen ended, viewers were treated to the priceless reactions of the co-hosts: Tucker’s jaw literally dropped and his eyes rolled as he looked at Anna in incredulity. Turning toward Tucker, a similarly disbelieving Anna smilingly arched her eyebrows, gnashed her teeth, and looked downward. Meanwhile, Clayton managed merely a chuckle as tried to look away.

During the interview itself, the mutual admirers discussed Sambora’s Barnstable Brown (B.B.) performance, his donation of his custom-made Swarovski guitar played at the B.B. to a diabetes charity, and their shared diabetes concerns. Before the confab was over, Ainsley smilingly noted, “US Weekly just voted you and Heather Locklear, your ex-wife–you have a daughter together–voted you the happiest exes. What’s the secret?” When Sambora replied that one has to keep the child’s interest first and that he thought he and his ex were better friends now than we they were married, Ainsley answered, “Good!”

Subsequently, Ainsley mentioned Santora’s designing of clothes, giving him the opportunity to plug his companies, Nikki Rich (women) and Chrome (men): After doing so and picking his Derby horse (California Chrome), he casually commented, “But, I did, I did buy you something, Baby!” As Santora reached into his back pocket, a flattered Ainsley asked, “What did you buy me?” “From the gift shop,” intoned Sambora.

Flushed, Ainsley queried, “You bought this for me?” Boldly, Sambora replied, “Yes, I did, Darling!” As he handed what appeared to be a short white skirt (with a powder blue Churchill Downs print), an appreciative Ainsley responded, “Vineyard Vine(s), this is the official designer of the Derby. How beautiful is that! Right up my alley!”

“[My] pleasure!” answered Sambora. And it was to be. As Ainsley displayed his tribute to her for the camera, Sambora reached forward and downward toward her blue-dress-clad hip. Patting Ainsley’s hip thrice, Sambora slyly said, “Hey, it matches your thing.” Elated, Ainsley answered, “How great! Thank you so much!…Thanks, Richie! And, thanks for being there with us today!”

As Ainsley hugged him anew, Sambora aptly exclaimed, “My pleasure!”

When the beaming Ainsley segued to her three co-hosts, Anna took the toss: Holding up her ring finger a la Beyonce, Anna scolded, “Richie, easy! We know you like your blondes but she does have a ring on her finger.” Turning to Clayton, she laughed, “I think he’s really liking his Ainsley Earhardt today.”

Not willing to cast such stones too hard, Clayton jested, “There’s a lot of touching going on down there at the Derby. Well you know why: The mint juleps have been flowing since 7 a.m.”

Holding Sambora close, an unrepentant Ainsley riposted, “I’m not letting go!” Concurring, Sambora exclaimed, “I’m not letting go either!”

Nor were Ainsley’s F&FW colleagues: Not surprisingly, meteorologist Janice Dean was intent on joining in on their fun. As the show concluded with producers giving a shout-out to Ainsley’s hatmaker Frank Olive Hats (with two pics of its hats atop Ainsley), Anna declared, “It’s no wonder that Richie Sambora was putting the moves on our Ainsley Earhardt: She looked so good out there the last couple of days at the Derby.”

Interjecting, meteorologist Janice Dean exclaimed, “Where’s the picture, where was the picture of Richie Sambora?” Almost unresponsively, Clayton commented, “He was pretty close there.” Not satisfied, Janice demanded, “Like what was he doing?” Snuggling up to Clayton playfully with both of her arms around his shoulders and raising her right knee toward his body, Anna chuckled, “The whole interview was like this.” Concurring, Clayton chuckled, “It was like this. ‘Don’t stop.'”

Stirring the proverbial pot, Tucker chimed, “There was some touching.” Racily, Janice rejoined, “Some touching?” Smiling goatishly, Tucker answered, “There was a lot of touching, actually.” With mock concern, Janice queried, “It was TV friendly, though?

In a denouement of the F&FW fun du jour, Tucker riposted, “Oh, yeah! No, it was totally within bounds but it was getting a little steamy! We cut away at the end.”

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 05/03/14 (@ 9:26 a.m. ET).

Kooiman Struts: Huddy Subs

April 14, 2014

Svelte “Boston Strong” Anna: I would love to hit 3:30. Toned and tanned, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman is ready to “strut her stuff” as she runs the storied 26.2-mile run in Beantown on April 21. In a Tweet, the erstwhile AFAA-certified fitness instructor announced that not only will she run the 118th Boston Marathon but also she will cover it. When asked by her F&FW co-anchor Clayton Morris yesterday what her goal in time was, she replied, “I would love to hit 3:30 (three hours thirty minutes): Pulling her towhead tresses from her lambent orbs, she cooed, “My best time is 3:27:23 but I just don’t think I’ll get it.” As if any of her acolytes’ eyes will be on the time clock.*

Apparently, Anna will give her full concentration to the Boston Marathon next Monday and will hand over her spot on the curvy couch this weekend to the still sexy blonde from F&FW yesteryear, Juliet Huddy: A few weeks ago (March 27), Juliet Tweeted, “[I] will be anchoring Fox and Friends weekend of Apr 19th.”

Good luck, Anna! Welcome back, Juliet!

Fox & Friends Weekend – 04/13/14 (@ 8:42 a.m. ET).

Clayton’s Family Secrets

April 12, 2014

Morris revealed: “I’m nervous about it.”* Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris got to know himself even better this morning–if that’s possible. And, Clayton’s fans probably still wanted to know a few more of his family secrets.

Promoting an upcoming segment on himself at the top of the second hour, Clayton teased “all kinds of crazy stuff about my history and my family.”** Before the really “good stuff,” Clayton and his co-anchors, Tucker Carlson and Anna Kooiman, gave author Yvette Corporon an opportunity to discuss her book (When the Cypress Whispers) and to give ancestry research tips: Then, she returned for a block on Clayton’s “amazing” family history, entitled “Clayton Revealed: An Inside Look at His Family Lineage.”***

Providing Clayton with a freebie for the curvy couch, Corporon declared, “Your family goes way, way, way back….Your earliest relative…we found was in 1659 in France, Peter Chastain: He was…a surgeon/barber…[who]… settled here [United States].” Much to Clayton’s surprise and amusement, she announced, “The next relative we find for yours [sic] is the Reverend John “Ten Shillings Bell” Chastain….He was your five-times…great grandfather: He was a Baptist preacher, and his family was forced to move from Virginia to South Carolina due to religious persecution. Elaborating, she stated, “He was a great speaker: Now the reason they called him “Ten Shillings Bell” was because he was such a brilliant speaker that his voice resonated like a bell and a bell back then cost…ten shillings.” Continuing, she said, “We also found…Absolom Hooper….He was your four times great grandfather. Now he was in the Revolutionary War: Not only that but he was shot twice by a musket ball, once in the arm [and] once in the leg; then, he was taken prisoner; escaped; taken prisoner again; and then fought on the lines until peace was declared.” [Photo of graves of Absolom Hooper (1757-1845) and his wife Sarah Hooper (1762-1856) ran]. She concluded, “We also have for you Calvin Chastain: Now, he was your great-great grandfather, and he was a farmer….And, we found the Census from 1860 when he was 39 years old and he lived with his wife and children in Independence, Arkansas.” [Photo of Calvin Chastain and his apparent wife and 1860 U.S. Federal Census - Calvin F. Chastain (MyHeritage) aired.]

In reply to Corporon’s revelations, Clayton remarked, “Wow!…I knew we had a strong history to Arkansas: A lot of the family lived in Arkansas. So, unbelievable!” Inquisitively, Corporon responded, “Did you know that you had a surgeon/barber in your family as well?” Clayton jested, “No, I didn’t know that you could have that profession.”

Subsequently, after thanking Corporon and the researchers, Clayton eagerly asked, “Can you hand the documents over after the segment?” After getting two blocks to plug her book, Corporon unsurprisingly answered, “Absolutely! All yours: Framed!”

No worries, Clayton: Just another F&FW perk!

*F&FW – 04/12/14 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET).

**Ibid.

***Ibid at 7:31 a.m. ET.

Update: Clayton-family-secrets-segment vid: H/t J$P.

DJ JD: “Love in an Elevator”!

March 24, 2014

Janice Dean: [Steven Tyler and I] had a wonderful date afterwards! FNC’s “Dancing Machine” [vid] meteorologist Janice Dean revealed to her Fox & Friends Weekend fans that she “used to date rock stars.”* No, not Steven Tyler of Aerosmith: Really!

Introducing one of her fabulous weather segments with that fun fact (March 9, 2014), Janice subsequently showed a photo of herself cheek-to-cheek with the bad boy himself, Steven Tyler.* As F&FW co-hosts Anna Kooiman, Clayton Morris, and Tucker Carlson looked on in disbelief at the pic of JD looking like a young Brooke Shields next to Liv Tyler‘s randy old man, Janice exclaimed, “No I didn’t ‘date’ him!” Belying her assertion almost immediately, Janice continued, ” But, I used to be a classic rock DJ back in the day when I was in my twenties when I had a cool job….I would love for him to sign that photo because we had a wonderful date afterwards!”

Intrigued, Tucker asked, “What year was that, Janice?” JD replied, “That was Get a Grip: So, that was ’93, and I was twenty-three years old! And, I have a lot more of these types of photos of rock stars that I’ve dated that I will post on my Facebook page!”

Pruriently, Clayton asked, “Well, is it a long list, Janice?”

Ignoring his concupiscent query, Janice playfully responded, singing “Love in an elevator! Livin’ it up as we’re goin’ down!” As Anna giggled, Clayton chuckled, “I knew there was a fun past to Janice!”

Janice: A fun past–and a fun present!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/09/14 (@ 9:39 a.m. ET).

**Fox5 NY (Youtube vid) – 09/28/07: 4:50/12:08.

[Author's aside: Pics of Janice Dean as CHEZ FM (Ottawa) "Sunscoop Reporter"; with Peter Frampton (after she asked him to autograph a poster saying, "Here's to another 20 years in your bedroom!"); with Travis Tritt; and with her bikini.]

Aly Tears Up: “My Last Day”

March 14, 2014

“Censored” Camerota’s “Orwellian Twist”: A very special day.”Not! In her America’s News HQ tease today on Happening Now, Alisyn Camerota promised, “Today is a very special day for us: we hope that you’ll tune in at the top of the hour!”* For those who did tune in as Aly asked, it was anything but–special.

Of course, Aly’s fans knew the end was near. On Monday, TVNewser reported that her tenure at Fox News would conclude sometime this month. On Tuesday, Judge Napolitano clued Aly’s acolytes into the fact that her departure would possibly be this week when he rhetorically asked Aly if he would be on with her again, exclaiming, “Mother of God!” Today, the writing on Belshazzar’s wall needed no interpreting when Aly promised “a very special day.”

When America’s News Headquarters began to conclude this afternoon, Aly’s co-anchor Bill Hemmer announced, “And, today marks the end–of a wonderful run for our friend and our colleague, Alisyn Lane Cameota.”** As tears began to well up in Aly’s eyes, Bill continued, “I tried to talk her out of it: Oh, I tried! She’s leaving us after sixteen years here at the Fox News channel but she leaves us laughing because that’s what Aly does!”

On cue, a collage of innocuous Aly FNC clips ran: Unfortunately, it appeared to have been cobbled together at the last minute by an intern who had little knowledge of Aly’s tenure on the “Fair and Balanced” network. Bizarrely, there was no real footage of Aly with her Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts during her remarkable three stints on the show: Vintage Aly video with her comeliest of co-hosts Kiran Chetry and their stalwart colleague Kelly Wright was a no-show, e.g., the hilarious spanking tape; Aly clips with her Doublemen twins, Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs, were absent, e.g., “Dave’s Farewell;” and Aly snippets with her final F&FW fellows Clayton and Tucker Carlson apparently were also left on the cutting floor, e.g., Aly’s full “Down and Dirty in the Mud.” To make matters even worse, there was no vid of Aly and the F&F week day boys, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade either (Aly’s Back: She’s Rocking–& Ringless“).

In the strange melange today, it was almost all Aly and Bill: There was scant recognition of what Aly has meant to her fans throughout the years on Fox & Friends (weekend and week day). Aly was and is an FNC icon: Too bad, Bill Shine appears to not aptly appreciate that fact. But, Aly’s fans do.

Kudos, Aly! A job well done. You will be missed!

*Happening Now – 03/14/14 (@ 12:43 p.m. ET).

*America’s News HQ – 03/14/14 (@ 1:54 p.m. ET).

Update: J$P vid: “Alisyn Signs Off from Fox News.”

Clayton’s “Queer” Echo: “Wide Stance” Rick

March 9, 2014

Tucker: “Wide stance!” Off-handed remark or odd “outing”? Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Tucker Carlson appeared to incredibly and inanely allude to the infamous Larry Craig airport restroom incident–as he, his co-hosts, Clayton Morris and Anna Kooiman, and chief meteorologist Rick Reichmuth were taught a new groove on the treadmill by Nikki Fitness‘ sexy Nikki Glor.

In a segment entitled “Treadmill Tricks: How to Make the Most of an Indoor Workout,” Nikki introduced the “Wide Walker” exercise [vid]. As they all strangely strode atop the rotating rubber, Clayton suggestively queried, “Wide walker?”* Without much apparent reflection on his FNC present (or any recollection of his 2007 MSNBC past), Tucker rashly riposted, “Wide stance!” As laughter rang out in the background, Clayton quipped, “That’s what we call Rick!”

Looking at Clayton, Rick laughed: In response, Clayton chuckled as if it were an inside joke. A few seconds later, he conveniently added, “Like a cowboy.” Clayton channeling Bill Press? Perhaps, perhaps not.

Stay tuned.

[Author's aside: As the author listened to the tape (for another article), he noticed the aforementioned strange exchanges. When he heard Tucker's "wide stance" comment, he immediately thought of the much ballyhooed phrase re Larry Craig (re Urban Dictionary's top definition). Upon further review, the author still wonders if Clayton's quick quip was an off-handed remark to FNC's beloved chief meteorologist or an odd "outing" of his friend.]

*F&FW vid – 03/08/14 (@ 00:58/04:06).

Anna Oops: Not “In Full Disclosure”

March 9, 2014

“According to the Daily Caller…a reliable news source.” Gretchen Carlson/Derek Jeter redux? Unfortunately, for Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman today, she followed in the faux pas of erstwhile F&F (weekday) co-anchor Gretchen Carlson. Like Gretchen who failed to mention that her husband Casey Close was the agent of Derek Jeter in her 2009 F&F hagiographic interview of the New York Yankee superstar, Anna cited the Daily Caller as a “reliable news source” this morning without so much as mentioning that her co-host Tucker Carlson was its founder and current editor-in-chief.*

During a segment on Homeland Security (re a Border Patrol policy advising agents to not engage “rock throwers”), Anna remarked, “According to the Daily Caller, it says that.” Interrupting her, F&FW co-anchor Tucker Carlson smiling chimed, “A reliable news source.” Grinning, Anna stammered, “A reliable news sources, yes, ah, that, that these, uh, uh, uh, new standards essential match those of advocacy groups who, who think that policing our borders is not a good idea.”

Not a good idea, Anna? A good idea would have to reveal that your co-host Tucker is the founder and editor-in-chief of your source. Also, Tucker, a good idea would have been to reveal that you were the authority for Anna’s assertion. And, Clayton Morris, as the now oldest denizen on the F&FW curvy couch, a good idea would have been to step up to the plate to insure full disclosure to the F&FW viewer.

“In full disclosure”: F&FW is sorely missing its captain.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/09/14 (@ 7:11 a.m. ET).

F&FW: Fox & Friends Weak

March 1, 2014

Anna, Clayton, and Somebody Else. Unfortunately, Fox & Friends Weekend is a feckless, flaccid iteration of its former self with Alisyn Camerota no longer at the helm. Now that the queen of the curvy couch has inexplicably and inanely been banished to FNC’s generic America’s News HQ weekdays, F&FW is sadly a ship without a captain.

Without Aly to plot a sure course each weekend for F&FW, there’s green newbie Anna Kooiman, flanked by tech geek/comics nerd co-host Clayton Morris and his alpha male mate Tucker Carlson one day or his Philadelphia cheesy mentor Mike Jerrick the next, trying her best to keep the listing boat afloat among the shoals. It is absurd: It is as if Bill Shine could not care less to craft a new F&FW identity with a certain crew on the manifest. Perhaps, he needs to remember his loyal F&FW viewers may not go elsewhere: But, they may just realize that they do not necessarily need the TV on as they embrace the day–and their weekend.

And, that may not be such a bad thing after all.

“Forgotten” Valentine Anna Returns

February 23, 2014

“Back from the Land Down Under!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman returned from a Valentine’s Day vacation in Oz to the curvy couch yesterday after a two-week absence. As the show opened, co-host Tucker Carlson declared, “The long national nightmare is over: Anna Kooiman back on the curvy couch!” Pumping her fist, Anna exclaimed, “Back from the Land Down Under!”

Subsequently, the rested, bronzed blond beauty regaled Tucker and fellow co-anchor Clayton Morris with tales of her “24-hour” plane trip; her seeing bilbies, wallabies, and koala bears; and her discovering the fascinating fact the koala bears get “stoned” by eating eucalyptus leaves. Summing up her trip, she said, “It was cool!”

For F&FW fans of the toned towhead, it was assuredly a relief to see their Anna again. Over the last two weeks, F&F offered them nary a clue as to where she was. In fact, last week, Ann’s name was not even uttered as Juliet Huddy co-hosted F&FW both Saturday and Sunday: To make matters more confusing, Juliet did not acknowledge that she was filling in for Anna and introduced herself on the the hour both shows, simply saying, “I’m Juliet Huddy.”

However, during her absence, Anna let her Twitter followers and her Facebook friends in on her “secret” location. She happily shared photos of her frolicking on a rocky shore near Sydney, posing with a sleepy koala bear, and sipping champagne in ecstasy (with the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge reflecting from her sunglasses). Anna looked as if she were almost in heaven.

Welcome back, Anna!

[Author's aside: Hmm. Flashback: "Anna the next F&F spring bride-to-be?" Cf. Carpe Diem's "Kooiman's Kinky 'White Wedding.'"]

Jerrick Plays Priapus With Huddy

February 16, 2014

Reddening, Juliet swats his faux phallus away. Former Fox & Friends Weekend co-hosts Mike Jerrick and Juliet Huddy were back in action on the curvy couch this morning. Filling in for Tucker Carlson and Anna Kooiman, respectively, the concupiscent couple were back to their usual naughty selves as they joined F&F regular anchor Clayton Morris anew for a Philly sandwich.

However, today, Mike took his priapic play with Juliet up a notch when he probably thought that the two of them were safely off camera. During an 111th American International Toy Fair toy preview segment, their guest displayed a retro toy called the “Bop Bag,” (a vertical, phallic-shaped punching bag that bounces back when pounded).* Bawdily, Mike intoned, “That’s what I call Juliet, ‘bop bag'” as Juliet chuckled. When the segment came to an end, Juliet teased upcoming stories as accompanying clips aired.

As Juliet’s intros ended, Mike briefly positioned the bop bag as if it were his erect phallus pointed salaciously toward Juliet’s kisser. Blushing, she batted her bad boy’s toy aside with the back of her hand, exclaiming, “Michael!” Shaking her head with a smile, she simply turned and wisely walked away.

[Author’s aside: Apt Priapus Mike flashback? In September 2007, HobokenNow.com noted, “Mike will jump at every opportunity to make a double entendre, while Juliet will sometimes squirm a little–or even visibly blush–when things get racy.” This was perfectly illustrated after the taping of their show [The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet], when Juliet said the word ‘p*nis’ on the air for the first time. ‘I never thought we’d get that “p*nis” out of her mouth,’ Mike quipped after the show.”]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/16/14 (@ 7:47 a.m. ET).

Bill Hemmer: No F&FW Fan?

January 15, 2014

Oblivious Bill: Tucker, “where’s the bow, where’s the bow tie?” Fox & Friends Weekend gets no respect from FNC host Bill Hemmer. First, the eminently likeable “blow-dry anchorstole the queen of the curvy couch, three-time F&FW co-host Alisyn Camerota from her fans for good on October 1 of last year. Now, he almost acknowledges that he is no fan of the show–or, if he ever were, he has not seen it since Tucker Carlson took Dave Briggs‘ vacant seat.

During America’s Newsroom this morning, Bill interviewed Tucker and Alan Colmes: After introducing his erstwhile CNN colleague Tucker, he animatedly asked, “Where’s the bow? Where’s the bow tie?”* As Alan chuckled, Tucker grimaced, riposting, “Oh, it’s been about ten [years].” Smiling, an oblivious Bill continued, “New fashion sense!” Charitably, Tucker laughed, “I may bring it back!”

When Tucker began his stint on F&F over a year ago (before he officially took the job), he explained essentially why he had given up the bow tie. In a segment on America returning to more formal Fridays, Tucker, then co-anchor Aly, and co-host Clayton Morris discussed the bow tie. During the segment, Tucker remarked, “People despise you when you wear a bow tie…especially, the Big Apple.” Even though he ignored Aly when she asked him, “Is that why you gave up the bow?,” the answer seemed manifest.

Fox & Friends Weekend: The Rodney Dangerfield of FNC, Bill? At least, watch the show. Or, better yet, give Aly back!

*America’s Newsroom – 01/15/14 (@ 10:32 a.m. ET)

Anna: F&F “More Blondelicious Than Usual”

January 1, 2014

Ainsley: “Clayton, sleep in! I’m glad you had so much bubbly last night.” Unexpected Fox & Friends guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt did not mind a bit stepping in this morning for the missing Clayton Morris. In fact, she relished the moment and so did the other New Year’s day edition Fox & Friends co-anchors, Jesse Watters and Anna Kooiman.

As the show opened, Anna, garbed in a teal form-fitting short dress, announced that she was subbing for Elisabeth Hasselback. When she turned to Jesse (in for Steve Doocy), he introduced himself and then laughed, “And, I think we’re missing Clayton: we have Ainsley here (in for Brian Kilmeade).” Having just finished co-hosting F&F First, festively attired in a sexy chartreuse, black-hemmed mini-skirt, Ainsley exclaimed, “Yep! I’m not complaining, though!”*

Looking into the camera as if addressing the absent co-anchor, grinning, she jauntily jested, “Clayton, sleep in! I’m glad you had so much bubbly last night.” To Anna and Jesse, she added, “They’re waiting on him to come in from New Jersey this morning.”

Gazing over at fellow flaxen-tressed beauty Ainsley, Anna announced, “The [curvy] couch [is] looking more blondelicious than usual!” Interjecting appreciatively, Jesse concurred, chuckling, “Yeah, the couch is a little better looking without Clayton.” Placing her hand on Anna’s shoulder, a smiling Ainsley smiling declared, “Jesse, you are a lucky man this morning!”

Putting his arms up in the air, Jesse aptly replied, “Hey! What can I say? It’s a great way to start the new year!”

And it was. F&F: More blondelicious than usual today. Anna and Ainsley: Still “Bringing Sexy Back!”

[Author's aside: At the end of the segment, Ainsley, Anna, and Jesse looked outside to see Clayton Morris comically posing outside on the sidewalk (as if he were a drunken New Year's Eve reveler trying to find his way home in the morning).*]

Fox & Friends – 01/01/14 (@ 6:02 a.m. ET).

Ibid at @ 6:13 a.m. ET.

Update: Vid via (J$P) included opening segment, supra. H/t, J$.

F&FW’s “Throwback Weekend”: Juliet & Mike Return!

December 28, 2013

Huddy’s Philly Sandwich: tasty but stale? Today, former F&FW co-hosts Juliet Huddy and Mike Jerrick returned to their old stomping grounds for a “Throwback Weekend” (as aptly described by F&FW meteorologist Janice Dean). To make things interesting, the concupiscent couple rejoined regular anchor Clayton Morris for a Yuletide romp on the curvy couch.

Yesterday morning, Juliet announced the big news of their reunion, Tweeting, “Oh my…lock up the kids… hosting @foxandfriends thos [sic] weekend w my old pal in crime @MikeFOX29 aka JERRICK! & @ClaytonMorris. Tune in!” For her fans the news was momentous: the leggy lovely had not been flanked by her “Philly guys” to make “a Philly sandwich” since August 2011 (if the author’s memory serves him correctly). And, if Clayton and Mike were right in 2011 about their saucy siren, perhaps, Juliet “needed help” again “with [her] plumbing.”

Consequently, when the author tuned in this morning to the “Throwback” fun, he half-expected the old F&FW opening of a blushing, beaming Juliet listening to blond beauty Jenny McCarthy bawdily declaring, “Yes, the carpet does match the drapes!” Instead, the oft profane Andrew Dice Clay tamely introduced Fox & Friends [Weekend]: Cutely coiffed Mika-style, Juliet reappeared this morning in the middle of her Philly boys as the lady in the red dress–demurely cut with a high neck, longer sleeves, and a midi hem. Not necessarily boding well for those expecting vintage Mike and Juliet.

When the show started in earnest subsequently, Mike turned to his long-time colleague, saying, “Oh! Hi, Juliet! Good to see you.” Eying her freshly shorn head impishly, he remarked, “I like the new hairdo!” Teasing her seemingly about her more mature mien all the more, he playfully displayed her reading glasses, jibing, “And, now you’re wearing glasses. I haven’t seen you in a while!”

Grabbing her spectacles from Mike’s hands and putting them back on the table,  a smiling Juliet jauntily riposted, “Oh, shut up! Get away from me.”

With arched eyebrows and a glint in his eye, Clayton mischievously interjected, “You know, they say [that] when a woman cuts her hair or puts on glasses like there’s some sort of thing going on in her life.” Apparently, acknowledging her recent engagement to her Mr. Wright, a grinning Juliet replied, “Yeah, there’s a lot of things going on in my life!”

Later, in the segment, Mike alluded to the Times Square New Year’s Eve celebration this year and recalled how cold it was when he and Juliet had hosted FNC’s New Year’s Eve festivities. In their segue to Janice, Juliet asked her if she remembered her and Mike’s hosting. In response, Janice declared, “I do. This is like Throwback Weekend here!”* And, it was: But, eleven years later–with someone new.

And, that someone was Clayton. When the second hour began, Mike declared, “We take you back to 2002: Look, it’s Mike and Juliet on the couch again!” Turning to Clayton, Juliet laughed, “You don’t look like Julian Phillips [their whilom African American co-anchor]! Grinning, Clayton answered, “I know. I’m not Julian Phillips.”

And, today, Mike and Juliet were not quite “Mike and Juliet” either. As usual Mike appeared to be his ever randy testosterone-infused self: But, today, bereft of her tresses, Juliet seemed especially estrogen deficient–and wanting a Miley moment [NSFW VMA 2013 vid]. Tomorrow may be a whole new day.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/27/18 (@ 6:12 a.m. ET).

Huddy & PAB: “Simply the Best”?

December 26, 2013

The girls are back in town! Former Fox & Friends First co-hosts Juliet Huddy and Patti Ann Browne opened their old show to the inimitable Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” this morning. As current F&FF co-hosts Ainsley Earhardt and Heather Childers took the holidays off, it was an amusing start to the day after Christmas for F&FF fans.

As the reader may recall, F&FF (this iteration) debuted almost two years ago (March 5, 2012) with Ainsley and Anna Kooiman at the helm (vid) as nine other rotating co-anchors (i.e., Heather C., Heather Nauert, PAB, Juliet, Arthel Neville, Jamie Colby, Julie Banderas, Dave Briggs, and Clayton Morris) stood at the ready for their shifts. However, on its one-year anniversary, Ainsley signaled that the F&FF co-hosts had been pared to four: She, the two Heathers, and PAB had survived the cut. Approximately, six months later, FNC whittled the number down to two, namely, Ainsley and Heather Childers: TV Newser rather charitably reported that FNC had chosen the two as the “permanent anchors” of F&FF.

But, today, Juliet and PAB had their revenge at Ainsley and Heather Childers’ expense as producers, wittingly or not, committed a lese-majeste, declaring the fresh Jersey girl and Red Eye‘s “notorious PAB” “simply the best [better than all the rest].” Of course, Ainz and Heather C. are scheduled to return to rule their roost soon. And, if the sages are right, she who laughs last laughs best.

F&FF: Ringing in the New Year with feline fireworks? If so, it should be fun! Rowrr!

F&FW Rehabs Its Mixologist–Finally

December 7, 2013

Almost two months late, Clayton Morris’ “master mixologist” gets it right: Alcohol and Tylenol don’t mix. Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris brought back his fave NYC bartender/mixologist, Pamela Wiznitzer, for a return visit to apparently correct the record on hangover cures and rehabilitate her reputation with FNC viewers: Approximately, two months ago, in a similar F&FW segment (10/13/13), Wiznitzer risibly remarked, “I’m gonna tell you one thing: Aspirin is not what you should be taking if you’re drinking….But, ibuprofen and Tylenol are very safe!”

Subsequently, Carpe Diem responded with a scathing article entitled, “F&FW Med Malpractice? Tylenol Hangover Cure!” In reply, Witnitzer conceded “the dangers of using Tylenol as a hangover cure.” Unfortunately, F&FF and its co-hosts, including Clayton [and Anna Kooiman (Tucker Carlson absent)], did not follow suit and failed to alert their misinformed audience to those very dangers posthaste.

Today, Wiznitzer returned with more holiday hangover cures and this time she got it right (in her interview segment with Clayton, Anna, and Tucker).

Hinting at the issue of alcohol and Tylenol that she and Clayton had flubbed a few months ago, Anna asked, “And, some medications to stay away from: You say, ‘Advil may be good but aspirin may be bad?'”* Correcting her previous assurance, Wiznitzer answered, “Yeah, no aspirin, no Tylenol….”

Clarifying the matter all the more for the audience, Tucker interposed, “So, Tylenol can actually be dangerous when mixed with alcohol?” Nodding her head, Wiznitzer acknowledged, “Tylenol can be dangerous. There are studies that lead to the fact that it can have issues with your kidney.” Grimacing, she added, “Severe issues!”

Better late than never? Yes, but, Fox & Friends Weekend viewers deserve the truth in a timely fashion. When a guest screws up and gets the facts wrong, especially, if it affects the health and the very lives of its audience, F&FF producers and its anchors need to bite the bullet and correct the record then and there–not two months later.

On the bright side, at least, F&FW–and its mixologist–finally did get it right.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/07/13 (@ 6:27 a.m. ET)

F&FW: Fox & Friends “Weakend”

November 10, 2013

Since she’s been gone. Hit the snooze button or grab a mimosa! Since the queen of the curvy couch Alisyn Camerota left Fox & Friends Weekend, the formerly must-see weekend morning news show has become almost a soporific sedative for even its most ardent acolytes.

About the only time the F&FW fan can now easily escape the embrace of the arms of Morpheus is whenever newbie blonde beauty Anna Kooiman delivers her “shot of expresso” as she frenetically frolics in one of her fun, frisky features [e.g., Cirque du Soleil "Wild Thing" (vid), "funkadelic" turbo-kicking tutor (vid), or leather-clad Daisy-Duke-driving wannabee (vid)]. Otherwise, the F&FW viewer is too oft served up a tepid potation of pontifical palaver by F&FW‘s new alpha male Tucker Carlson (whenever he deigns to appear on the curvy couch) or a similarly impotent echo from his now best beta bud Clayton Morris (when he is not aptly opining as the tech geek in residence).

Including FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth, F&FW “Three Men and a Baby”? Nah, “Three Boys and a Babe.” To paraphrase the inimitable Eminem, “It seems so empty without [Aly]!”

Juliet Huddy Finally Finds Her Mr. Wright

November 3, 2013

Brother John John: “My sis Juliet and her fiance Steve.” Former Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Juliet Huddy returned to the curvy couch this weekend with a little something extra special–her new engagement ring, apparently. After striking out thrice, FNC’s pulchritudinous player is pluckishly back at bat again: But, strangely, Juliet (and her her co-hosts, Tucker Carlson and Clayton Morris) never revealed her secret to her fans on either F&FW show. Happily, her brother John Huddy (and Fox 5 NY colleague) did–nine days ago: He Tweeted the connubial news and a pic of Juliet’s betrothed, saying, “My sis and her fiance Steve.”

Even though  Juliet has not announced the news to her own Twitter followers, she has left copious hints. On September 13, she Tweeted, “Happy Bday to my love @SWrightNYC. i hope you have an amazing day!!!” A few weeks later, she took a two-week European vacation with him, Tweeting copious pics of herself [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8] and two of her beloved, one of him in front of Westminister Abbey and another of him and her (posing menacingly as a message to a pickpocket who stole her camera). Subsequently, on October 28, Juliet Tweeted out a pic of her and her anonymous ” great friends out watching the Mizzou game” (including her man right beside her).

Congratulations, Juliet, on finding Mr. Right–er, Wright!

F&FW’s Juliet Huddy: “The ‘Bitch’ is Back!”

November 2, 2013

“Blast from the past!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Juliet Huddy made a triumphant return today to the curvy couch that she once shared with Mike Jerrick and Julian Phillips in the early 00’s (and that she has eschewed as a sub of late). Taking the reins from the too oft diffident current co-anchor Anna Kooiman for the weekend, the former F&FW “alpha bitch” proudly introduced her appearance as a” blast from the past.”* And, so, it was.

Dressed in her ironically virginal white mini dress, Juliet held court with her boys du jour, Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson. No awkward pauses, no alphabet soup, and no meek mien from this dirty blonde beauty: The brassy New Jersey broad Juliet appeared in sharp contrast with her more demure Southern belle successor Anna. And, maybe, she intended it that way–or, at least, Shine did.

From this viewer’s perspective, Anna’s absence appeared rather odd since she has been on the job for barely a month. Stranger yet, the usually chirpy bird neither Tweeted her followers nor alerted her Facebook friends that she would take flight from her perch so soon after alighting there. To boot, no mention was made today of the “for now” co-host on F&FW other than the one time Juliet simply said, “I’m Juliet Huddy in for Anna Kooiman” (at the start of the second hour).

The future of Fox & Friends Weekend may seem uncertain but its present is not. At least, for today (and tomorrow), to paraphrase Elton, FNC’s “alpha bitch” is back!** And, Anna’s gone for now.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/02/13 (@ 6:01 a.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 9:59 a.m. ET.

[Author's aside: After the show today, Anna posted two glam pics of herself: one with her "Mama Bear" and another with both her parents.]

Tucker Carlson: F&FW’s Shelley Hack?

October 27, 2013

Clayton Morris: “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman welcomed increasingly frequent co-anchor Tucker Carlson fill-in Mike Jerrick with a spirited fist bump to the curvy couch. Heartily endorsing his predecessor and successor at FOX 29 Good Day (Philadelphia), Clayton Morris enthusiastically exclaimed, “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” And, no mention was made of Tucker then or for the rest of the show Saturday. Or Sunday–when Mike returned.

As the author mused today about yet another absence of Tucker and the fact that his co-anchors Anna and Clayton (or meteorologist Rick Reichmuth) did not even care to cite it, he recalled, perhaps, a revealing vignette last Sunday on F&FW of Tucker’s disconnect to the show. After a segue to his weather report, Rick ribbed Tucker about not being able to get off the floor in an earlier “fitness” segment: Chuckling, Tucker jested, “I’d fallen and I can’t [sic]  get up.”* Meanwhile, putting her hands over her eyes, Anna interjected, “So embarrassed about that video: we keep playing it.” In reply to both, perhaps, Rick declared, “We can’t let it go.”

Grinning, a gesticulating Tucker queried, “On normal TV shows, don’t they kind of prevent you from embarrassing yourself on TV?” Interposing, Clayton jested, “On normal TV shows, not on Fox & Friends!” Rick riposted, “[Inaudible] Tucker has not watched this show before he joined!” Smiling, Tucker conceded, “Yeah, apparently, not.”

Seven months ago to the very day, the rather cerebral Tucker officially was named the replacement of popular, unapologetically sentimental Dave Briggs on the curvy couch. It seemed a somewhat strange choice for a weekend show that is largely predicated on a personal nexus between the co-hosts and the audience. It appeared, especially, so in light of a F&FW signature analysis segment on January 12 (approximately two-and-half months earlier): F&FW “handwriting expert” Michelle Dresbold declared Tucker’s printed signature (“TSMC”) to indicate that he was not really letting anyone see too much of himself.** Concurring, Tucker acknowledged, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.”

Perhaps, too much so. What does the FOX say?

[Author's aside: Incidentally, after seven months as an official F&FW co-host, Tucker has still not added his FNC position to his Twitter rubric. Re "Shelley Hack" in the title of this post, supra, she was the single-season actress who replaced Kate Jackson as the "cerebral" Angel in Charlie's Angels and got bumped summarily when she did not connect with fans.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/26/13 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/12/13 (@ 9:48 a.m. ET)


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 80 other followers