Archive for the ‘Anna Kooiman’ Category

Kooiman Struts: Huddy Subs

April 14, 2014

Svelte “Boston Strong” Anna: I would love to hit 3:30. Toned and tanned, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman is ready to “strut her stuff” as she runs the storied 26.2-mile run in Beantown on April 21. In a Tweet, the erstwhile AFAA-certified fitness instructor announced that not only will she run the 118th Boston Marathon but also she will cover it. When asked by her F&FW co-anchor Clayton Morris yesterday what her goal in time was, she replied, “I would love to hit 3:30 (three hours thirty minutes): Pulling her towhead tresses from her lambent orbs, she cooed, “My best time is 3:27:23 but I just don’t think I’ll get it.” As if any of her acolytes’ eyes will be on the time clock.*

Apparently, Anna will give her full concentration to the Boston Marathon next Monday and will hand over her spot on the curvy couch this weekend to the still sexy blonde from F&FW yesteryear, Juliet Huddy: A few weeks ago (March 27), Juliet Tweeted, “[I] will be anchoring Fox and Friends weekend of Apr 19th.”

Good luck, Anna! Welcome back, Juliet!

Fox & Friends Weekend – 04/13/14 (@ 8:42 a.m. ET).

Clayton’s Family Secrets

April 12, 2014

Morris revealed: “I’m nervous about it.”* Fox & Friends Weekend co-anchor Clayton Morris got to know himself even better this morning–if that’s possible. And, Clayton’s fans probably still wanted to know a few more of his family secrets.

Promoting an upcoming segment on himself at the top of the second hour, Clayton teased “all kinds of crazy stuff about my history and my family.”** Before the really “good stuff,” Clayton and his co-anchors, Tucker Carlson and Anna Kooiman, gave author Yvette Corporon an opportunity to discuss her book (When the Cypress Whispers) and to give ancestry research tips: Then, she returned for a block on Clayton’s “amazing” family history, entitled “Clayton Revealed: An Inside Look at His Family Lineage.”***

Providing Clayton with a freebie for the curvy couch, Corporon declared, “Your family goes way, way, way back….Your earliest relative…we found was in 1659 in France, Peter Chastain: He was…a surgeon/barber…[who]… settled here [United States].” Much to Clayton’s surprise and amusement, she announced, “The next relative we find for yours [sic] is the Reverend John “Ten Shillings Bell” Chastain….He was your five-times…great grandfather: He was a Baptist preacher, and his family was forced to move from Virginia to South Carolina due to religious persecution. Elaborating, she stated, “He was a great speaker: Now the reason they called him “Ten Shillings Bell” was because he was such a brilliant speaker that his voice resonated like a bell and a bell back then cost…ten shillings.” Continuing, she said, “We also found…Absolom Hooper….He was your four times great grandfather. Now he was in the Revolutionary War: Not only that but he was shot twice by a musket ball, once in the arm [and] once in the leg; then, he was taken prisoner; escaped; taken prisoner again; and then fought on the lines until peace was declared.” [Photo of graves of Absolom Hooper (1757-1845) and his wife Sarah Hooper (1762-1856) ran]. She concluded, “We also have for you Calvin Chastain: Now, he was your great-great grandfather, and he was a farmer….And, we found the Census from 1860 when he was 39 years old and he lived with his wife and children in Independence, Arkansas.” [Photo of Calvin Chastain and his apparent wife and 1860 U.S. Federal Census - Calvin F. Chastain (MyHeritage) aired.]

In reply to Corporon’s revelations, Clayton remarked, “Wow!…I knew we had a strong history to Arkansas: A lot of the family lived in Arkansas. So, unbelievable!” Inquisitively, Corporon responded, “Did you know that you had a surgeon/barber in your family as well?” Clayton jested, “No, I didn’t know that you could have that profession.”

Subsequently, after thanking Corporon and the researchers, Clayton eagerly asked, “Can you hand the documents over after the segment?” After getting two blocks to plug her book, Corporon unsurprisingly answered, “Absolutely! All yours: Framed!”

No worries, Clayton: Just another F&FW perk!

*F&FW – 04/12/14 (@ 7:01 a.m. ET).

**Ibid.

***Ibid at 7:31 a.m. ET.

Update: Clayton-family-secrets-segment vid: H/t J$P.

DJ JD: “Love in an Elevator”!

March 24, 2014

Janice Dean: [Steven Tyler and I] had a wonderful date afterwards! FNC’s “Dancing Machine” [vid] meteorologist Janice Dean revealed to her Fox & Friends Weekend fans that she “used to date rock stars.”* No, not Steven Tyler of Aerosmith: Really!

Introducing one of her fabulous weather segments with that fun fact (March 9, 2014), Janice subsequently showed a photo of herself cheek-to-cheek with the bad boy himself, Steven Tyler.* As F&FW co-hosts Anna Kooiman, Clayton Morris, and Tucker Carlson looked on in disbelief at the pic of JD looking like a young Brooke Shields next to Liv Tyler‘s randy old man, Janice exclaimed, “No I didn’t ‘date’ him!” Belying her assertion almost immediately, Janice continued, ” But, I used to be a classic rock DJ back in the day when I was in my twenties when I had a cool job….I would love for him to sign that photo because we had a wonderful date afterwards!”

Intrigued, Tucker asked, “What year was that, Janice?” JD replied, “That was Get a Grip: So, that was ’93, and I was twenty-three years old! And, I have a lot more of these types of photos of rock stars that I’ve dated that I will post on my Facebook page!”

Pruriently, Clayton asked, “Well, is it a long list, Janice?”

Ignoring his concupiscent query, Janice playfully responded, singing “Love in an elevator! Livin’ it up as we’re goin’ down!” As Anna giggled, Clayton chuckled, “I knew there was a fun past to Janice!”

Janice: A fun past–and a fun present!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/09/14 (@ 9:39 a.m. ET).

**Fox5 NY (Youtube vid) – 09/28/07: 4:50/12:08.

[Author's aside: Pics of Janice Dean as CHEZ FM (Ottawa) "Sunscoop Reporter"; with Peter Frampton (after she asked him to autograph a poster saying, "Here's to another 20 years in your bedroom!"); with Travis Tritt; and with her bikini.]

Clayton’s “Queer” Echo: “Wide Stance” Rick

March 9, 2014

Tucker: “Wide stance!” Off-handed remark or odd “outing”? Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Tucker Carlson appeared to incredibly and inanely allude to the infamous Larry Craig airport restroom incident–as he, his co-hosts, Clayton Morris and Anna Kooiman, and chief meteorologist Rick Reichmuth were taught a new groove on the treadmill by Nikki Fitness‘ sexy Nikki Glor.

In a segment entitled “Treadmill Tricks: How to Make the Most of an Indoor Workout,” Nikki introduced the “Wide Walker” exercise [vid]. As they all strangely strode atop the rotating rubber, Clayton suggestively queried, “Wide walker?”* Without much apparent reflection on his FNC present (or any recollection of his 2007 MSNBC past), Tucker rashly riposted, “Wide stance!” As laughter rang out in the background, Clayton quipped, “That’s what we call Rick!”

Looking at Clayton, Rick laughed: In response, Clayton chuckled as if it were an inside joke. A few seconds later, he conveniently added, “Like a cowboy.” Clayton channeling Bill Press? Perhaps, perhaps not.

Stay tuned.

[Author's aside: As the author listened to the tape (for another article), he noticed the aforementioned strange exchanges. When he heard Tucker's "wide stance" comment, he immediately thought of the much ballyhooed phrase re Larry Craig (re Urban Dictionary's top definition). Upon further review, the author still wonders if Clayton's quick quip was an off-handed remark to FNC's beloved chief meteorologist or an odd "outing" of his friend.]

*F&FW vid – 03/08/14 (@ 00:58/04:06).

Anna Oops: Not “In Full Disclosure”

March 9, 2014

“According to the Daily Caller…a reliable news source.” Gretchen Carlson/Derek Jeter redux? Unfortunately, for Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman today, she followed in the faux pas of erstwhile F&F (weekday) co-anchor Gretchen Carlson. Like Gretchen who failed to mention that her husband Casey Close was the agent of Derek Jeter in her 2009 F&F hagiographic interview of the New York Yankee superstar, Anna cited the Daily Caller as a “reliable news source” this morning without so much as mentioning that her co-host Tucker Carlson was its founder and current editor-in-chief.*

During a segment on Homeland Security (re a Border Patrol policy advising agents to not engage “rock throwers”), Anna remarked, “According to the Daily Caller, it says that.” Interrupting her, F&FW co-anchor Tucker Carlson smiling chimed, “A reliable news source.” Grinning, Anna stammered, “A reliable news sources, yes, ah, that, that these, uh, uh, uh, new standards essential match those of advocacy groups who, who think that policing our borders is not a good idea.”

Not a good idea, Anna? A good idea would have to reveal that your co-host Tucker is the founder and editor-in-chief of your source. Also, Tucker, a good idea would have been to reveal that you were the authority for Anna’s assertion. And, Clayton Morris, as the now oldest denizen on the F&FW curvy couch, a good idea would have been to step up to the plate to insure full disclosure to the F&FW viewer.

“In full disclosure”: F&FW is sorely missing its captain.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 02/09/14 (@ 7:11 a.m. ET).

F&FW CyberGuy’s “Shot of [Anna's] Legs”

March 9, 2014

Giggling Anna: Actually, our viewers…post pictures online like that, anyway! Yesterday, a blushing Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman suggested that she does not mind her acolytes’ ardor for her gorgeous gams. But, her peculiarly chivalrous colleague Tucker Carlton just could not seem to stand the very idea–of, perhaps, someone else eying his colleague’s sexy stems.

In an engaging segment on apps, Kurt “the CyberGuy” Knuttson discussed an app entitled EyeEm that had recently added a section for a user to market one’s photos.* Explaining how it worked, Kurt remarked, “Let’s say that Anna’s on the treadmill [vid] again and I get a shot of her legs and she agrees that I can now submit it for marketing: I can start making money with Anna and her pumps on the treadmill by an advertiser seeing that photo in the marketplace, and say, ‘Hey, we’d like to use that in our treadmill ad or whatever.’”

Like an overly protective brother or jealous secret admirer, Tucker animatedly retorted, “There’s just one problem is that she would NEVER agree to that!” Turning to Anna, he continued, “I happen to know. Would you!” As Kurt licked his lips knowingly, a reddening Anna giggled: Turning to the camera, she answered, “Actually, our viewers, we have a few viewers who post pictures like that online, anyway.” [Google images search: "Ann Kooiman's legs."]

Looking into the camera himself, Tucker prudishly declared, “This is really upsetting!”

Trying unsuccessfully to suppress a lascivious smile, Kurt deadpanned, “I would imagine. By the way, a lot of, a lot of questions coming in this morning–you would think about technology and other…topics of the day–but really people are asking, ‘What, what are the shoes?’”

Looking down at Anna’s sexy high heels for more than a moment, Tucker stammered, “Yeah, we’re, we’re not going to answer that: I’m going to step in and protect Anna from creepy questions like that.”

Flattered, Anna simply laughed in delight.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/08/14 (@ 8:41 a.m. ET).

F&FW: Fox & Friends Weak

March 1, 2014

Anna, Clayton, and Somebody Else. Unfortunately, Fox & Friends Weekend is a feckless, flaccid iteration of its former self with Alisyn Camerota no longer at the helm. Now that the queen of the curvy couch has inexplicably and inanely been banished to FNC’s generic America’s News HQ weekdays, F&FW is sadly a ship without a captain.

Without Aly to plot a sure course each weekend for F&FW, there’s green newbie Anna Kooiman, flanked by tech geek/comics nerd co-host Clayton Morris and his alpha male mate Tucker Carlson one day or his Philadelphia cheesy mentor Mike Jerrick the next, trying her best to keep the listing boat afloat among the shoals. It is absurd: It is as if Bill Shine could not care less to craft a new F&FW identity with a certain crew on the manifest. Perhaps, he needs to remember his loyal F&FW viewers may not go elsewhere: But, they may just realize that they do not necessarily need the TV on as they embrace the day–and their weekend.

And, that may not be such a bad thing after all.

Kooiman: Jerrick Wishes For Kisses!

March 1, 2014

Anna: “That’s what [Mike] would like to think!” This morning, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman put priapic fill-in co-anchor Mike Jerrick in his place–at least, for the moment. The ever-randy Mike took advantage of his and Anna’s F&FW‘s penultimate segment featuring country singer Craig Campbell’s singing his new single, “Keep Them Kisses Comin’.”

Introducing Campbell, F&FW‘s favorite old goat bawdily remarked, “Now, Anna always says to me–she leans over in the commercial[s]–keep the kisses coming, Mike!”* Looking doubtfully at Anna who smilingly arched her eyebrow at Mike’s latest salacious fantasy, Campbell responded, “Wow!” Looking at the camera with a soupcon of derision, Anna aptly added, “That’s what he would like to think! But!”

Indeed. But, what’s new!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 03/01/14 (@ 9:53 a.m. ET)

“Forgotten” Valentine Anna Returns

February 23, 2014

“Back from the Land Down Under!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman returned from a Valentine’s Day vacation in Oz to the curvy couch yesterday after a two-week absence. As the show opened, co-host Tucker Carlson declared, “The long national nightmare is over: Anna Kooiman back on the curvy couch!” Pumping her fist, Anna exclaimed, “Back from the Land Down Under!”

Subsequently, the rested, bronzed blond beauty regaled Tucker and fellow co-anchor Clayton Morris with tales of her “24-hour” plane trip; her seeing bilbies, wallabies, and koala bears; and her discovering the fascinating fact the koala bears get “stoned” by eating eucalyptus leaves. Summing up her trip, she said, “It was cool!”

For F&FW fans of the toned towhead, it was assuredly a relief to see their Anna again. Over the last two weeks, F&F offered them nary a clue as to where she was. In fact, last week, Ann’s name was not even uttered as Juliet Huddy co-hosted F&FW both Saturday and Sunday: To make matters more confusing, Juliet did not acknowledge that she was filling in for Anna and introduced herself on the the hour both shows, simply saying, “I’m Juliet Huddy.”

However, during her absence, Anna let her Twitter followers and her Facebook friends in on her “secret” location. She happily shared photos of her frolicking on a rocky shore near Sydney, posing with a sleepy koala bear, and sipping champagne in ecstasy (with the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge reflecting from her sunglasses). Anna looked as if she were almost in heaven.

Welcome back, Anna!

[Author's aside: Hmm. Flashback: "Anna the next F&F spring bride-to-be?" Cf. Carpe Diem's "Kooiman's Kinky 'White Wedding.'"]

Anna: F&F “More Blondelicious Than Usual”

January 1, 2014

Ainsley: “Clayton, sleep in! I’m glad you had so much bubbly last night.” Unexpected Fox & Friends guest co-host Ainsley Earhardt did not mind a bit stepping in this morning for the missing Clayton Morris. In fact, she relished the moment and so did the other New Year’s day edition Fox & Friends co-anchors, Jesse Watters and Anna Kooiman.

As the show opened, Anna, garbed in a teal form-fitting short dress, announced that she was subbing for Elisabeth Hasselback. When she turned to Jesse (in for Steve Doocy), he introduced himself and then laughed, “And, I think we’re missing Clayton: we have Ainsley here (in for Brian Kilmeade).” Having just finished co-hosting F&F First, festively attired in a sexy chartreuse, black-hemmed mini-skirt, Ainsley exclaimed, “Yep! I’m not complaining, though!”*

Looking into the camera as if addressing the absent co-anchor, grinning, she jauntily jested, “Clayton, sleep in! I’m glad you had so much bubbly last night.” To Anna and Jesse, she added, “They’re waiting on him to come in from New Jersey this morning.”

Gazing over at fellow flaxen-tressed beauty Ainsley, Anna announced, “The [curvy] couch [is] looking more blondelicious than usual!” Interjecting appreciatively, Jesse concurred, chuckling, “Yeah, the couch is a little better looking without Clayton.” Placing her hand on Anna’s shoulder, a smiling Ainsley smiling declared, “Jesse, you are a lucky man this morning!”

Putting his arms up in the air, Jesse aptly replied, “Hey! What can I say? It’s a great way to start the new year!”

And it was. F&F: More blondelicious than usual today. Anna and Ainsley: Still “Bringing Sexy Back!”

[Author's aside: At the end of the segment, Ainsley, Anna, and Jesse looked outside to see Clayton Morris comically posing outside on the sidewalk (as if he were a drunken New Year's Eve reveler trying to find his way home in the morning).*]

Fox & Friends – 01/01/14 (@ 6:02 a.m. ET).

Ibid at @ 6:13 a.m. ET.

Update: Vid via (J$P) included opening segment, supra. H/t, J$.

Huddy & PAB: “Simply the Best”?

December 26, 2013

The girls are back in town! Former Fox & Friends First co-hosts Juliet Huddy and Patti Ann Browne opened their old show to the inimitable Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” this morning. As current F&FF co-hosts Ainsley Earhardt and Heather Childers took the holidays off, it was an amusing start to the day after Christmas for F&FF fans.

As the reader may recall, F&FF (this iteration) debuted almost two years ago (March 5, 2012) with Ainsley and Anna Kooiman at the helm (vid) as nine other rotating co-anchors (i.e., Heather C., Heather Nauert, PAB, Juliet, Arthel Neville, Jamie Colby, Julie Banderas, Dave Briggs, and Clayton Morris) stood at the ready for their shifts. However, on its one-year anniversary, Ainsley signaled that the F&FF co-hosts had been pared to four: She, the two Heathers, and PAB had survived the cut. Approximately, six months later, FNC whittled the number down to two, namely, Ainsley and Heather Childers: TV Newser rather charitably reported that FNC had chosen the two as the “permanent anchors” of F&FF.

But, today, Juliet and PAB had their revenge at Ainsley and Heather Childers’ expense as producers, wittingly or not, committed a lese-majeste, declaring the fresh Jersey girl and Red Eye‘s “notorious PAB” “simply the best [better than all the rest].” Of course, Ainz and Heather C. are scheduled to return to rule their roost soon. And, if the sages are right, she who laughs last laughs best.

F&FF: Ringing in the New Year with feline fireworks? If so, it should be fun! Rowrr!

F&FW’s Juliet Huddy: Mika in the Mirror?

December 18, 2013

Vanity, vanity, all is vanity! Former Fox & Friends Weekend anchor Juliet Huddy returned to the curvy couch this past weekend looking as if she were ready to retake her throne. With notably no mention of F&FW‘s new co-host “for nowAnna Koiman, Juliet welcomed her fans back to a four-hour session as the mistress du jour of the house. Taking a page out of Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezinski’s sexy feature in Vanity Fair, a freshly shorn, plump-lipped Juliet sported a sassy new do that actually mirrored Mika’s short puffy blond coif (i.e., swept to the left side of her face) and swathed herself in a similar sexy sleeveless, short dress tailor-made for a saucy table dance.

“New and improved”: Juliet Huddy 4.0. Trying to pull off a second F&FW run? Juliet, it ain’t easy being Aly!

[Author's aside: Juliet flashed her connubial bling anew this past weekend: Apparently, her fortunes have recently improved.]

F&FW Rehabs Its Mixologist–Finally

December 7, 2013

Almost two months late, Clayton Morris’ “master mixologist” gets it right: Alcohol and Tylenol don’t mix. Today, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Clayton Morris brought back his fave NYC bartender/mixologist, Pamela Wiznitzer, for a return visit to apparently correct the record on hangover cures and rehabilitate her reputation with FNC viewers: Approximately, two months ago, in a similar F&FW segment (10/13/13), Wiznitzer risibly remarked, “I’m gonna tell you one thing: Aspirin is not what you should be taking if you’re drinking….But, ibuprofen and Tylenol are very safe!”

Subsequently, Carpe Diem responded with a scathing article entitled, “F&FW Med Malpractice? Tylenol Hangover Cure!” In reply, Witnitzer conceded “the dangers of using Tylenol as a hangover cure.” Unfortunately, F&FF and its co-hosts, including Clayton [and Anna Kooiman (Tucker Carlson absent)], did not follow suit and failed to alert their misinformed audience to those very dangers posthaste.

Today, Wiznitzer returned with more holiday hangover cures and this time she got it right (in her interview segment with Clayton, Anna, and Tucker).

Hinting at the issue of alcohol and Tylenol that she and Clayton had flubbed a few months ago, Anna asked, “And, some medications to stay away from: You say, ‘Advil may be good but aspirin may be bad?’”* Correcting her previous assurance, Wiznitzer answered, “Yeah, no aspirin, no Tylenol….”

Clarifying the matter all the more for the audience, Tucker interposed, “So, Tylenol can actually be dangerous when mixed with alcohol?” Nodding her head, Wiznitzer acknowledged, “Tylenol can be dangerous. There are studies that lead to the fact that it can have issues with your kidney.” Grimacing, she added, “Severe issues!”

Better late than never? Yes, but, Fox & Friends Weekend viewers deserve the truth in a timely fashion. When a guest screws up and gets the facts wrong, especially, if it affects the health and the very lives of its audience, F&FF producers and its anchors need to bite the bullet and correct the record then and there–not two months later.

On the bright side, at least, F&FW–and its mixologist–finally did get it right.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 12/07/13 (@ 6:27 a.m. ET)

Huddy Hocks Rock

November 24, 2013

But, no worries: “Poor” Juliet will fill in on Fox & Friends Weekends during the holidays. To Juliet’s chagrin today, Carpe Diem noticed that the F&F fill-in co-host had doffed her engagement ring and wondered whether she was back on the market again. Miffed at the author’s impertinence, the blonde beauty snarked that she had “hocked it for fried turkey” and caviled that that “is how vicious rumors get started.” “NOT NICE,” she complained.

Not nice, Juliet? Not nice is not appreciating your fans who give a tinker’s dam about you and your future at Fox & Friends Weekend. You may be in for “a few more weekends between now and New Years [sic]“ for the youthful, beautiful blonde Anna Kooiman: But, if you envision replacing her in the future, temporarily or permanently, you may want to keep in mind that being an alpha bitch is one thing–but being a real bitch is another thing altogether.

Juliet, you were a curvy couch classic. Stay that way.

F&FW: Fox & Friends “Weakend”

November 10, 2013

Since she’s been gone. Hit the snooze button or grab a mimosa! Since the queen of the curvy couch Alisyn Camerota left Fox & Friends Weekend, the formerly must-see weekend morning news show has become almost a soporific sedative for even its most ardent acolytes.

About the only time the F&FW fan can now easily escape the embrace of the arms of Morpheus is whenever newbie blonde beauty Anna Kooiman delivers her “shot of expresso” as she frenetically frolics in one of her fun, frisky features [e.g., Cirque du Soleil "Wild Thing" (vid), "funkadelic" turbo-kicking tutor (vid), or leather-clad Daisy-Duke-driving wannabee (vid)]. Otherwise, the F&FW viewer is too oft served up a tepid potation of pontifical palaver by F&FW‘s new alpha male Tucker Carlson (whenever he deigns to appear on the curvy couch) or a similarly impotent echo from his now best beta bud Clayton Morris (when he is not aptly opining as the tech geek in residence).

Including FNC meteorologist Rick Reichmuth, F&FW “Three Men and a Baby”? Nah, “Three Boys and a Babe.” To paraphrase the inimitable Eminem, “It seems so empty without [Aly]!”

F&FW’s Juliet Huddy: “The ‘Bitch’ is Back!”

November 2, 2013

“Blast from the past!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Juliet Huddy made a triumphant return today to the curvy couch that she once shared with Mike Jerrick and Julian Phillips in the early 00′s (and that she has eschewed as a sub of late). Taking the reins from the too oft diffident current co-anchor Anna Kooiman for the weekend, the former F&FW “alpha bitch” proudly introduced her appearance as a” blast from the past.”* And, so, it was.

Dressed in her ironically virginal white mini dress, Juliet held court with her boys du jour, Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson. No awkward pauses, no alphabet soup, and no meek mien from this dirty blonde beauty: The brassy New Jersey broad Juliet appeared in sharp contrast with her more demure Southern belle successor Anna. And, maybe, she intended it that way–or, at least, Shine did.

From this viewer’s perspective, Anna’s absence appeared rather odd since she has been on the job for barely a month. Stranger yet, the usually chirpy bird neither Tweeted her followers nor alerted her Facebook friends that she would take flight from her perch so soon after alighting there. To boot, no mention was made today of the “for now” co-host on F&FW other than the one time Juliet simply said, “I’m Juliet Huddy in for Anna Kooiman” (at the start of the second hour).

The future of Fox & Friends Weekend may seem uncertain but its present is not. At least, for today (and tomorrow), to paraphrase Elton, FNC’s “alpha bitch” is back!** And, Anna’s gone for now.

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 11/02/13 (@ 6:01 a.m. ET).

**Ibid at @ 9:59 a.m. ET.

[Author's aside: After the show today, Anna posted two glam pics of herself: one with her "Mama Bear" and another with both her parents.]

Tucker Carlson: F&FW’s Shelley Hack?

October 27, 2013

Clayton Morris: “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” Yesterday, Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman welcomed increasingly frequent co-anchor Tucker Carlson fill-in Mike Jerrick with a spirited fist bump to the curvy couch. Heartily endorsing his predecessor and successor at FOX 29 Good Day (Philadelphia), Clayton Morris enthusiastically exclaimed, “Welcome in Mike Jerrick from Philadelphia!” And, no mention was made of Tucker then or for the rest of the show Saturday. Or Sunday–when Mike returned.

As the author mused today about yet another absence of Tucker and the fact that his co-anchors Anna and Clayton (or meteorologist Rick Reichmuth) did not even care to cite it, he recalled, perhaps, a revealing vignette last Sunday on F&FW of Tucker’s disconnect to the show. After a segue to his weather report, Rick ribbed Tucker about not being able to get off the floor in an earlier “fitness” segment: Chuckling, Tucker jested, “I’d fallen and I can’t [sic]  get up.”* Meanwhile, putting her hands over her eyes, Anna interjected, “So embarrassed about that video: we keep playing it.” In reply to both, perhaps, Rick declared, “We can’t let it go.”

Grinning, a gesticulating Tucker queried, “On normal TV shows, don’t they kind of prevent you from embarrassing yourself on TV?” Interposing, Clayton jested, “On normal TV shows, not on Fox & Friends!” Rick riposted, “[Inaudible] Tucker has not watched this show before he joined!” Smiling, Tucker conceded, “Yeah, apparently, not.”

Seven months ago to the very day, the rather cerebral Tucker officially was named the replacement of popular, unapologetically sentimental Dave Briggs on the curvy couch. It seemed a somewhat strange choice for a weekend show that is largely predicated on a personal nexus between the co-hosts and the audience. It appeared, especially, so in light of a F&FW signature analysis segment on January 12 (approximately two-and-half months earlier): F&FW “handwriting expert” Michelle Dresbold declared Tucker’s printed signature (“TSMC”) to indicate that he was not really letting anyone see too much of himself.** Concurring, Tucker acknowledged, “It’s like ‘Tears of a Clown’: I keep it inside.”

Perhaps, too much so. What does the FOX say?

[Author's aside: Incidentally, after seven months as an official F&FW co-host, Tucker has still not added his FNC position to his Twitter rubric. Re "Shelley Hack" in the title of this post, supra, she was the single-season actress who replaced Kate Jackson as the "cerebral" Angel in Charlie's Angels and got bumped summarily when she did not connect with fans.]

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/26/13 (@ 8:04 a.m. ET)

**Fox & Friends Weekend – 01/12/13 (@ 9:48 a.m. ET)

Proud Anna [Kooiman]: “Nice and Rough”?

October 26, 2013

“‘Nice and easy’: I’d like to do that for you….But we never, ever do nothing nice and easy: We always do it nice and rough!” Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Anna Kooiman may know how to give up a “booty-shaking” performance [vid] a la Tina Turner as a rocking fitness instructor: But, if she is ever going to rule the F&FW curvy couch, she needs to learn from the “Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll” not only to translate her youthful enthusiasm and sexy energy into her new FNC gig but also to find a way to infuse her Southern niceness with a little old-time Tina “roughness.”

Too often, on the set with her co-anchors Clayton Morris and Tucker Carlson (and/or Mike Jerrick), Anna seems to embody her beautiful, playful yellow lab Baxter–overly eager to please. She would do well to remember the success of past F&FW “alpha bitches” (e.g., Juliet Huddy, Alisyn Camerota (thrice), Kiran Chetry, and Page Hopkins) and the failure of another nice Carolinian F&FW anchor (Ainsley Earhardt). If Anna hopes ever to rival her predecessor Aly (to whom Clayton bid adieu, saying, “I have never worked with someone in a female capacity on the air who has been just as effortless and fantastic as you”), she must learn not to be cowed by Clayton’s cleverness and Tucker’s intellect (and/or Mike’s deftness).

In other words, don’t be afraid to be an F&FW “alpha bitch,” Anna: Dominate the boys with your smarts, wit, and sensuality.

[Author's aside: The subtitle, supra, is a quote from Tina Turner's introduction to her legendary Proud Mary (with her then husband, Ike Turner). As to the inclusion of Mike Jerrick, supra, he seems to be co-hosting F&FW with increasing frequency for the incorrigibly absent Tucker.]

F&FW Med Malpractice? Tylenol Hangover Cure!

October 13, 2013

Oops: Partier Alert! This morning, Fox & Friends Weekend anchor Clayton Morris inaptly introduced New York City mixologist/bartender Pamela Wiznitzer as one who would “separate fact from fiction” as to hangover cures.* After discussing the merits of Sprite, “hair of the dog,” bananas, etc., Wiznitzer confidently declared, “I’m gonna tell you one thing: Aspirin is not what you should be taking if you’re drinking….But, ibuprofen and Tylenol are very safe!” As co-hosts Clayton and guest co-host Mike Jerrick remained mute, co-anchor Anna Kooiman muttered, “Okay.”

No, it is not “okay.” According to the Mayo Clinic, “[I]f you sometimes drink alcohol to excess, acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) can cause severe liver damage even in doses previously thought to be safe.” Off air, Wiznitzer was rebutted by one Tweeter, who said, “[T]ake Tylenol instead of Aspirin”.. this is backwards. Tylenol and Alcohol cause liver damage.” Acknowledging her ill advice to the Tweeter (and to @ClaytonMorris), Wiznitzer conceded, “Indeed you are right….Never mix the two.”

Medical advice from a mixologist/bartender? Seriously?! Unfortunately, F&FW producers and the co-anchors fell down on the job today. But, Clayton, perchance, had an even greater responsibility to alert wrongly informed viewers of the dangers of Tylenol (especially, if he read his guest’s recantation before the end of the show).

Alisyn Camerota has “left the building.” Now, it is time to take up the slack, F&FW! Until then, caveat emptor, viewers!

*Fox & Friends Weekend – 10/13/13 (@ 8:53 a.m. ET).

Mike “Jerric”: F&FW’s Co-host Again?

October 12, 2013

Aly’s gone: Tucker, too? Today, Fox & Friends guest co-anchor Mike Jerrick returned to the curvy couch to help Clayton Morris steer the now almost rudderless ship that current American News HQ co-host Alisyn Camerota and F&FW‘s three-time captain “abandoned.” Filling in for the incorrigibly absent co-host Tucker Carlson who was recently brought on board, F&FW veteran Mike returned this morning to help save the day, as co-host “for nowAnna Kooiman struggles to gain her sea legs.

Without their long-time leader Aly today, F&FW producers and Clayton seemed saliently off course this morning. At the start of each hour (that identified the co-hosts), Mike’s surname was thrice risibly spelled as “Jerric.” (Perhaps, his early ’00′s classic F&FW stint with Juliet Huddy and Julian Phillips is now but a faint memory if ever there were one.) To boot, a strangely off-key Clayton segued twice to meteorologist Rick Reichmuth with obviously erroneous info that Rick had to correct: First, Clayton, implored male viewers to send in pics of them illegally kissing their wives today (re a Hartford, CT, law that made such P.D.A. illegal on Sundays);* and, later, he indicated that Phuket, Thailand, was devastated by a typhoon rather than the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami.**

F&FW: Clayton, Anna, and who? Sans Aly, F&FW flounders anew. Clayton’s hand at the helm is somewhat uncertain; Anna is trying to find her footing; and Tucker is M.I.A. again. A la Aly, Mike to the rescue?

*Fox & Friends Weekend - 10/12/13 (@6:34 a.m. ET)

**Ibid at @ 9:09 a.m. ET.


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