The Five’s Beckel: Bolling Saved My Life

“You’re a reluctant hero, my friend.” A grateful The Five co-host Bob Beckel revealed yesterday that his conservative co-anchor “nemesis” Eric Bolling saved his life shortly before the show. After Bolling opened the program with a query about the latest GOP jobs bill, he turned to co-anchor Greg Gutfeld for his opinion. Grinning as if on cue, Gutfeld replied, “I can’t discuss this story until we acknowledge what happened this afternoon”: then, pointing to Beckel for the obligatory explanation, he said, “Bob.”

Looking down at the table soberly, Beckel replied, “I guess you can’t make these things up….I have a couple of people to thank. We were having a celebratory lunch for The Five, the kickoff of The Five, and I choked. Literally choked, I mean I couldn’t breathe at all.”

Continuing somberly, Beckel remarked, “And, the boss of bosses here at Fox, Roger Ailes, stood up and gave me the Heimlich [maneuver]….He couldn’t get his arms all the way around me but he loosened it up enough.” Putting his hand on Bolling’s shoulder, an appreciative Beckel stammered, “And, then my brother here saved my, my, my existence because he got it out.”

Then, as he added, “And, it’s been a long and rough day…but I want to thank everybody for what he did,” co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle tenderly carressed his arm. Subsequently, Beckel dutifully cautioned viewers not to eat too fast, particularly big shrimp as he had. Interjecting, Gutfeld exclaimed, “You scared the hell out of us!” Feeling “the love,” Beckel replied, “I know I did, and I apologize for that. But, anyway, let’s get moving on.”

However, before they did, Bolling got the crew to declare the day “Bob Day” and maternal co-anchor Dana Perino reminded Beckel that it is not so smart to cry “wolf.” Pointing her pencil at him and arching her eyes, she gently chided, “Remember…it was just a week ago when you and I were in Atlanta together where you faked a heart attack and I thought it was real. So, today I was like, ‘Uh, okay, what is he doing now? Okay.’ And, then I kept talking to the neighbor on my left, and then I realized it was real.” Adding a little levity, Perino declared that had Bolling not been there, she would have had “to drop the atomic elbow” on him.

Chuckling Bowling interposed, “Can we get back to jobs now?”” Looking over at Bowling thankfully, Beckel declared, “You’re a reluctant hero, my friend. You a reluctant hero.” Seemingly somewhat embarrassed, Bowling replied, “God bless. Thank God it all worked out great.”

Indeed. Glad you’re still with us, Bob! And, kudos, Eric, for saving the day–and Bob’s life!

Author’s aside: For The Five footage, cf. J$P Video.

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2 Responses to “The Five’s Beckel: Bolling Saved My Life”

  1. V.E.G. Says:

    There is a bigger hero than him: Douglas Wade Sharp. Sharp gave his life saving his daughter but God took him. Well done, Officer Sharp. Rest in peace. # a hero! (Explanation # means Sharp).

  2. V.E.G. Says:

    There is a much bigger hero than that: Edward Joseph “Butch” Garlinghouse, Jr. Garlinghouse saved two girls but God took him. Well done, Herr Gerlinghaus. Rest in peace. The hero’s skeleton lies somewhere in the waters. Butch, the hero, was the son of the American Revolution.

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