AM Adopts F&F’s Couch (But, Shep’s Commode?)

The De-Klein and Fall of American Morning in one day? Today AM co-hosts Christine Romans and Ali Velshi and their audience celebrated the long-awaited arrival of their cozy “curvy couch” (a la FNC’s Fox & Friends). However, regrettably, along with it came a real Fox News seat–the unflushed porcelain throne of Shepard Smith–still filled with the Ole Miss devotee’s disgusting dung, i.e., the offensive seven-year old Trampoline Bear video.

As AM began today, the camera panned over the comfy couch that AM co-host Kiran Chetry had apparently teased almost three months ago to Mediaite.com reporter Tommy Christopher. For far too long, the AM audience had suffered under the inane adage of former CNN chief Jon Klein that “couches/chairs sap energy.” However, today, his successor Ken Jautz clearly took yet another shackle off of his AM co-hosts to free them to be “more upbeat,” “more compelling…engaging, [and] sometimes more fun.” I.e., to sit down and talk to their AM audience as personal friends and family rather than stand and chat with them as casual acquaintances and customers.

Unfortunately, Ali and Christine spoiled the delightful debut of AM‘s divan with a gratuitously thrice-aired video of ugly, ursine plight. After running a headline news story about a little brown bear near some Albuquerque, New Mexico, apartments (that had to be sedated and then lowered by ropes into a bag), Christine gleefully commented, “That gives us, of course, an excuse to resurrect this oldie but goodie.”

Chiming in (a la Shep de Sade), Ali exclaimed, “I, I never get tired of this one. This is Missoula, Montana, a similar situation.” As the Trampoline Bear vid ran showing the black bear falling from the tree onto the trampoline, being hurled high into the air, plunging into the hard earth, and then crumpling under its own weight, Christine chortled, “Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!, and Ali cooed, “Ooh! Oww!”

Trying to assuage her horrified viewers, Christine hastily added, “He was fine! He was fine!” Then, as AM producers aired anew the repulsive footage, Ali baldly asserted, “I’d only show this to you again because he was fine.” Offering his personal color commentary as the bear took its crushing course into an unforgiving ground, Aly continued, “He bumps on the trampoline once and then [pause] off the trampoline.” Then, incredibly, the AM producers ran the video a third time for good–or, rather evil–measure.

About thirty minutes later, Christine and Aly cheerfully exhibited their Cyclopean couch to their viewers as they returned from break.** As the camera closed in on them, a blushing Christine chuckled and Aly announced, “We have our new couch!” Christine commented, “I like it.” Concurring, Ali replied, “I like this, too.”

So does the author. In fact, he suggested the couch about two and half years ago when Klein was in control. Bouquets, Jautz, for the welcome change.

But, brickbats, Ali and Christine, for adopting Shep’s used toilet. Flush his filth and clean CNN’s studio. And, apologize to your AM fans.

*American Morning – 05/16/11 (@ 7:10 a.m. ET)

**American Morning – 05/16/11 (@ 7:42 a.m. ET)

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3 Responses to “AM Adopts F&F’s Couch (But, Shep’s Commode?)”

  1. Brutus Says:

    CNN boasts THE most news in the morning. Their ratings must be dipping cuz’ today they had THE most LEGS in the morning.
    Christine Romans was rockin’ da couch in her knee length skirt that rode way up her thighs when she sat w/ her legs crossed.

    Lots & lots of long lingering full monty camera shots of her sexy stems.
    The gam fest must have been pre-planned cuz’ Christine had em’ all waxed up & they sparkled like gold.

    While she reported the Shuttle launch she wore a devilish grin, she was probably thinking to herself, “Hell..I’ve launched a lot more missiles today than NASA did”.

    Memo to the suits at CNN: More couch time for Christine, cuz her sexy legs are A-OKAY!!

  2. Roman’s “No Ring” Circus « Carpe Diem Says:

    [...] Bear abused anew? Friday Early Start guest co-host Christine Romans reached back into her ignoble American Morning past when she once again reveled in the seeming sadism of Shepard Smith’s “Trampoline [...]

  3. Shep: Can’t Show Trampoline Bear Vid Anymore « Carpe Diem Says:

    [...] “Ole Miss’ Colonel Shep” (11/07/10); “Shep the Schlep” (02/21/11); “AM Adopts F&F’s Couch (But, Shep’s Commode?)” (05/17/11); and “Romans’ ‘No Ring’ Circus” (04/29/12). Like this:LikeBe the [...]

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