Shep de Sade: Kubrick’s Clare Quilty?

The Marquis is back! However, Studio B‘s Shepard Smith de Sade reappeared as the spent, jaded Clare Quilty as he reran his evil tired tripe, i.e., the Trampoline Bear video today. He seemed almost desperate to find anew that thrill that now eluded him and that Viagra could not even bring back. With a stone face and a monotone delivery, he announced, “Bear Alert.”*

Before polluting Fox News’ airwaves again with his favorite animal cruelty cine, he showed an adorable black bear cub chowing down on garbage in a Georgia driveway. After doing so, he cautioned, “While cute, the local sheriff is warning residents ‘do not leave food out for the bears.'” Then, as he aired once again the Trampoline Bear clip (of a black bear falling from a tree onto a trampoline, being propelled high into the air, and then crashing headfirst into the ground), Shep cackled, “And, of course, trampolines are always–ha, ha, ha, ha, ha–trampolines are always a great deterrent.”

Poor Shepard Smith was more of a sad spectacle today than even his Trampoline Bear.

Update: Perhaps, Shep changed his prescription to Cialis or Levitra after Studio B. For his Fox Report, he tried again to find his thrill and prematurely injected his “Bear Alert” at mid-show.** However, this time he seemed to, at least, fake a bit more enthusiasm as the video climaxed, as almost verbatim he repeated, “And, of course, trampolines are always an excellent deterrent.”

*Studio B with Shepard Smith – 08/12/10 (@3:59 p.m. ET)

**Fox Report with Shepard Smith – 08/12/10 (@7:29 p.m. ET)

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5 Responses to “Shep de Sade: Kubrick’s Clare Quilty?”

  1. Al Says:

    Dang, I missed it.

  2. jakeho Says:

    Al, I wish we all would have.

  3. crispy Says:

    Maybe he’s trying to justify his 7 million dollar salary since he isn’t having much luck crucfying Blago

  4. Shep’s Trampoline Bear Ole Miss Mascot « Carpe Diem Says:

    [...] (August 3, 2010); “Shep de Sade’s Bad Boys” (August 7, 2010); “Shep de Sade: Kubrick’s Clare Quilty” (August 12, 2010); “Shep Defends Trampoline Bear Video” (August 13, 2010); [...]

  5. Shep: Can’t Show Trampoline Bear Vid Anymore « Carpe Diem Says:

    [...] My Fault’” (08/03/10); “Shep de Sade’s Bad Boys” (08/06/10); “Shep de Sade: Kubrick’s Clare Quilty?” (08/12/10); “Shep Defends Trampoline Bear Video” (08/13/10); “The Good [...]

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