Chris’ “Cowgirl” Fantasy?

Palin, now Pickler: Gretchen jealous? After Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson excited him almost two years ago with her black cowboy hat and Kinky Friedman cigar, Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace seems to have fallen prey to that “wanton” country girl fantasy. First, there was Gretchen; second, there was Sarah Palin; and, yesterday, it was country star Kellie Pickler. Mediaite deemed the latest instance “creepy” but it just seemed like the latest “Wallace wandering” to the author.

With regard to Gretchen, as long-time Fox & Friends fans may remember, Chris, in a similar FNS promo for his show on July 25, 2008, was so taken with Gretchen in her cowgirl getup, supra, that he flirted, ““Let me just say…I was thinking how to clean this up. Gretchen when you were wearing that cowboy hat and smoking that cigar you looked very fetching!” Subsequently, when she teased him with a seductive pose, he panted, “Oh! Mama! You should take that home for your husband tonight.” The sexual tension was such that F&F co-anchor Brian Kilmeade interjected, “Hey, Chris! Is there a shower in that studio?”

[Apparently, Chris got in trouble with the wife, Mrs. Wallace over that episode. Approximately, three months later, during a FNS promo on Halloween Day, Gretchen teased Chris about liking "cowboy hats and cigars." Chris replied, "We can’t keep talking about that, Gretchen: Mrs. Wallace is no longer amused at that conversation.”]

With regard to former Alaskan governor and famed outdoorswoman Sarah Palin, Chris bawdily bantered about her with FBN anchor Imus before his February 7, 2010 FNS interview with her. When Imus asked, “When you interview her, will she be sitting on your lap?, Chris randily responded, “One can only hope.” Consequently, Chris got grief from women such as noted journalist, Cokie Roberts. (Whether he did from Mrs. Wallace is not known.

Yesterday, during his promo for FNS on Fox & Friends, Chris turned his amorous ardor toward country singer Kellie Pickler, the former American Idol contestant, kicking off F&F’s “All American Summer” concert series. After, apparently, seeing the blond beauty Pickler perform throughout the earlier 2 1/2 hours of the show in her bosom-baring red top and hip-hugging blue jeans, a seemingly smitten Chris could not wait to talk about her. After F&F co-host Brian Kilmeade introduced Chris’ segment (citing the BP oil disaster and the President’s tough times), Chris began, “Yeah. Listen, before we get to that, I’m just curious. Has Kellie Pickler been asking about me?”*

As Gretchen chuckled heartily, Brian answered, “Yes. Yes, she has. And, I think it’s kind of odd because I’m sitting right there, and all I hear is Chris Wallace this, Chris Wallace that.” Chris replied, “You know, just, just tell her that I’m a big fan of hers, too. And, you know, who knows?” Incredulous, a grinning Brain echoed, “Who knows?” Aptly, F&F co-host Gretchen interjected, “Wow! I know that you are a fan of cowboy hats so that, that would make sense.” Brian jested, “She going to be singing in about ten minutes for Chris Wallace.” Before talking about the BP oil spill, Chris enthusiastically added, “Yeah. Maybe, she’ll do one of those torch songs about her unrequited love for me.” In response, Gretchen’s eyes immediately widened and her mouth suddenly shut while a surprised Brian simply smiled.

Later, during Chris’ segment, Brian began a question (about whether purported White House offers of positions for certain candidates to drop out of  Senate races portended a “burgeoning scandal”), stating, “If I wanted to get Chris Wallace out of that job and put myself in it, I’d have to get you another attractive job to actually lure you out and open up that spot.” With thoughts of Pickler still prancing in his head, Chris riantly replied, “Oh. I thought when you said you were going to offer me an attractive job to leave this, I thought it was going to be interviewing Kellie Pickler in six minutes.”

As Chris’ segment concluded, Brian ribaldly remarked, “The fact of the matter is, I do want your job, and I am willing to make an offer to you. Kellie Pickler, are you out there? Will you do me a favor, and offer your services to Chris Wallace?” As a blushing Pickler appeared on a trisected screen, a chagrined Chris grimaced and shut his eyes, and Gretchen screamed, “What! What! Excuse me!” Offering Brian diaphanous cover at best, Steve interjected, “Musical services. Musical services.” As Gretchen sat with mouth agape, a goatishly grinning Brian continued, “Would you say ‘hello’ to Chris Wallace?”

As Gretchen punched Brian in the shoulder for his puckish impertinence, a coy Kelli Pickler cooed, “Hello, Chris. How are ya?” Then, as the trio of co-hosts disappeared from the screen, close-ups of Pickler and Chris emerged. Almost like a bashful schoolboy, Chris answered, “Well, I’m just great, Kellie. I must say, I’m better right now.” Chuckling, Pickler coquettishly replied, “Me, too.”

After telling Pickler that he was a big fan of American Idol and saw her “with sushi and all of that stuff” when she was on the show, he queried, “Do you have the faintest idea who I am?” Less than convincingly, Pickler teased, “Oh, yeah. Absolutely! I have your poster hanging above my bed.” As a smiling Pickler looked back at her amused band members, Chris, tugged at his lapels and proudly proclaimed, “Well. Okay, Kelly! There we go!”

Perhaps, a mite jealous, Gretchen questioned, “Chris, is Mrs. Wallace watching?” Before he responded, Pickler interjected, “My apologies to your wife.” Then, Chris replied, “Unfortunately, I think she is. And, I’m gonna pay a heavy price for this.”

Perhaps, not, Chris. Mrs. Wallace has seemed rather charitable thus far.

*Fox & Friends - 06/04/10 (@8:31 a.m. ET)

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3 Responses to “Chris’ “Cowgirl” Fantasy?”

  1. Aly: “Sleeping on the Couch,” Chris? « Carpe Diem Says:

    [...] Carpe Diem Point Pleasant Musings « Chris’ “Cowgirl” Fantasy? [...]

  2. Brutus Says:

    As I recall, Ernest Borgnine was also quite smitten with Fetchin’ Gretchen.
    He was a guest on F&F and revealed his secret to longevity was masturbation.

    Suffice to say that uncle Ernie visited the fountain of youth immediately after his stint on the curvy couch, cuz’ he was gawking and drooling at Gretch’s skimpy black skirt that REALLY showed off her gorgeous sexy legs.

    “Cowgirl Gretch” upped the ante when she vamped it up for Wallace w/ the Stetson & cigar.
    She played the temptress, standing w/her hands on hips wearing an tiny gray dress and a come hither look in her eyes that would make Mae West envious.

    Oooh yes Mistress Gretchen, you are truly…..THE …sexiest woman alive!!!!

  3. Chris Disses Aly « Carpe Diem Says:

    [...] next time she will simply display a little more cleavage a la Kellie Pickner last Friday. Or, as Gretchen suggests, don one of those sexy cowboy hats that Chris likes. Remember, Aly: to paraphrase Hank Williams, Jr., a country girl can [...]

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